Tolerance (Heart of Stone)

by Sidebottom, D H

  “Are you okay Mason?” I asked mischievously as he stared at me “Who…who did you go with?” he gulped and the laughter was getting harder to control as I knew where his eyebrows would finish as I said the next word “Nate” I said blithely as I piled strawberries and cream onto the shortbreads.

  He spluttered and stood up “What the hell Ava?!” he glared at me “What? Liv came too” I choked out. It was getting so much harder… “You…you went to The Black Panther with Nate and…and Liv?” he scoffed and I nodded “Yeah” I shrugged and then changed tactics “Have you seen Williams bed…huge” I sighed dreamily as I gestured to the size with my hands and then thought I had better stop as his face darkened “Ava…please tell…please tell you didn’t…not with William?!” he looked quite upset now and I couldn’t hold back the laughter

  “You’re face…” I howled and he exhaled loudly “Jesus Ava” he breathed as I snorted with laughter “You…” he grinned and stalked towards me “God, you’re such a sucker…I still want a mirror though” I hooted and then halted abruptly as he stalked closer with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes

  “No Mason” I warned and he grinned wolfishly. I screamed and darted around the table as he bolted after me “Noooo” I squealed as he floored me and began tickling me torturously “Noooo Masonnnnn” I begged as I snorted and tears rolled down my face.

  I struggled underneath him as he pinned me down “Pleaseeee….” I giggled “That’ll teach you to wind me up in future” he laughed as he continued punishing me. He stopped suddenly and I was panting for breath as tears rolled down my face. I giggled and looked up at him and froze; his eyes were intense and wild as he panted with me and his stiff erection dug into my thigh.

  I swallowed and licked my lips as his gaze travelled to my mouth and then back up to my eyes as he leaned in closer. I wanted this so much…so so much but I knew I couldn’t, if I did this then there would be no going back.

  “No” I said firmly as I pushed him off me. He sighed and clambered up, giving me a hand and pulling me upright. I looked away and went back to the shortcakes, serving them up and placing them on the table.

  We ate a bite each and then I took a deep breath “I need to tell you something” I said quietly and averted my gaze “I’ve decided to move out to Portugal” I whispered and closed my eyes in preparation

  “NO!!!” he cried as he shot up and the chair fell backwards. I gulped and remained silent but nodded slowly “I can’t stay here Mason. I’ve sorted it with George and I’m moving out there when the babies are out of hospital” I said softly “NO AVA!!!...NO! I won’t fucking let you!” he roared and I sighed “You can’t stop me Mason” I looked down “But Ava…now this is out of the way we can be together properly…as a family” he pleaded but I shook my head and frowned “It wasn’t because of this that I ended us Mason, it was because you fucked another woman” I shouted, now getting angry at his disregard for what he had done.

  He scoffed “Oh and I suppose you fucking Kade is different” he snarled and I sighed sadly “Go home Mason” I walked to the sink and leaned on the side, staring out of the window. He grabbed me and spun me round, his mouth clamped over mine in a hungry and demanding kiss but I refused to kiss him back “Ava…” he breathed as he rested his forehead against mine “Please….” He near sobbed but I shook my head

  “I have dreams Mason…dreams of you and her….I can’t get passed that, just like you couldn’t get passed Kade but the thing is…I saw you, I watched you fuck her in fucking ecstasy Mason, I heard your moans, your hands all over her… and I will never never get over that…I wanted all of your pleasure Mason and you gave it away…threw it away….” I told him and he closed his eyes “I’m sorry Ava…I don’t know what else to do!” he rasped and I pushed him away “Katie and George should be home by next weekend and I’m planning on going a couple of weeks after that so you should…you should spend as much time…time with them as possible” I choked and turned so he couldn’t see my tears. I stared fixatedly out of the window and flinched as the front door slammed shut.

  I needed to get thoroughly pissed so I phoned Courtney “Hey babe” she answered “Hi you! Listen I need to get utterly and absolutely slaughtered, you busy tonight?” she giggled excitedly “God, let’s do it, you haven’t had a drink for ages. I’ll round the girlies up and we’ll pick you up at 9, okay?” she asked “Perfect” I breathed and raced up the stairs to put on my armour and mask, tonight I would forget about everything and think about myself. I needed tonight to celebrate, commiserate and obliterate, and I would make damn sure I did!!

  By 1am we were all drunk and dancing with vigour in ‘The loft’. Sally had already pulled and disappeared for the night and Courtney, Kim and Marcy were strutting their stuff to the beat as I leant on the bar talking to the barman.

  I was very drunk and he looked okay behind the beer goggles and I wondered if I should take up his offer of a ‘night full of ecstasy’ as he had so expressively put it “Come on gorgeous, I can make you feel so good” he leaned over and breathed in my ear “You are very confident” I giggled and he raised his eyebrows at me “Yes I am” he winked and I laughed “How do I know you can handle me, I’m a bit of a wild one between the sheets?” I flirted and he inhaled heavily with a pained expression “Now, you see, you have to take me home cause I’m fucking rock hard picturing this, picturing you groaning underneath me” he smirked and I laughed again as a commotion broke out across the other side of the floor.

  The barman…Harvey, groaned “Fuck, not again!” he grumbled as I stretched to look what was happening “Someone fighting?” I asked when I couldn’t see the uproar “Yeah…the fucking boss again!” he snarled.

  My eyes widened “What?” I spluttered and he gawped at me “The boss, word is that his girlfriend fucked him off so he’s been swiftly getting drunk and high and he’s always picking fights when he’s like this” I sighed angrily and slid off the bar stool and stalked towards the noise. “NO! Don’t go over there!” Harvey shouted as he struggled to lift the bar flap and chase after me.

  I stormed over, my breathing hard and accelerated as I saw Mason rolling about on the floor with someone, his fist repeatedly slamming into the other guys’ stomach.

  Sam and Greg were desperately trying to pull him off and I pushed my way through the audience

  “MOVE!!” I shouted to Sam and Greg who stopped trying to halt the fight and stared at me “MOVE!!” I repeated and they narrowed their eyes on me. I shook my head in exasperation and leaned down, grabbed Mason’s hair and yanked him upright. He wobbled and looked at me, his eyes vacant and bloodshot as I floored him in a single punch “Get him upstairs. I’ll be up in a while” I snarled at an amazed Sam, Greg and Harvey “Get him out of here before I fucking throttle him Sam” I warned and they grabbed his arms as the crowd cheered and Courtney came running over “Jesus Christ. Not again” she shook her head as Harvey approached me “Wow, you laid him out cold” he gasped and I nodded “I’m the ‘Boss’s girlfriend that fucked him off’” I explained and his eyes widened “I’m sorry sweetheart, it’s not worth my life or my job if I take you home tonight” he said as he held his hands out.

  I rolled my eyes and scowled at him but turned back to Courtney and Marcy “You two okay getting home while I sort the arsehole out?” I asked and Courtney side huddled me “He doesn’t deserve you Ava” she sighed but nodded “Go on babe and ring me tomorrow” she kissed my cheek as I walked over to the bar “Vodka, straight” I ordered from Harvey. He nodded and poured me a double which I slid back in one and then made way upstairs.

  Taking a deep breath, I entered Masons office as Greg was pouring water down Masons throat and Sam was cleaning vomit off the floor “Jesus fucking wept” I snarled and Masons bleary eyes shot to mine “Ava?” he slurred “What are you doing here?” he rolled his eyes and fell backwards onto the couch.

  I shook my head in disgust and turned to Sam “How long until he’s aware of anything?” I asked
“About four hours or so” he explained and I nodded “I’ll see to him, you two get back to work” I sighed and walked over to the kettle “Ava, I don’t think that’s a good idea, he’ll keep coming round for a while” Greg worried but I shook my head “Go!” I barked and they both glanced at each other and then went to leave.

  Greg turned in the doorway “I know he’s fucked up Ava but he’s a mess without you. He’s crazy about you” he declared sadly and I nodded “I know Greg but we’re no good for each other. I hurt him, he hurts me and he just keeps hurting me. I can’t…I dunno…” I sighed and dropped into a chair with my head in my hands and Greg squatted down in front of me “Ava, you have the babies to think of now” he tried and I scoffed “And you honestly think they deserve that for a father” I slammed as I pointed to Mason “Stoned, high and fucking volatile every time something doesn’t go his way. Would you want to bring children up in…this?!” I spat and he sighed but shook his head “No” he said quietly and I sucked on my lips “He’s killed me this time Greg, all I see is them…fucking” I sobbed and he wrapped me in his arms, consoling me and stroking my back as I wept.

  He was whipped back suddenly and Mason punched him in the face “GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER!!” he thundered and I stared gobsmacked.

  Grabbing hold of Mason by his shirt I yanked him back and thumped him in the jaw causing him to pass out again and I flung him back on the couch

  “Oh my God Greg, are you okay?” I asked as I rushed over to help him up “Forget everything I just fucking said Ava, fuck the bastard off” he yelled as he stomped out and slammed the door behind him. I groaned and sank to the floor.

  Grabbing my phone, I texted Courtney to check on Greg as I watched Masons’ steady breathing. What the hell was I going to do? I loved him with every breath I had but I couldn’t live this way, we were dangerous together, killing each other slowly and I now had Katie and George to think about. They couldn’t be brought up in this sort of relationship. I knew Mason would never physically hurt me but the dominance, the anger and the drugs were a constant problem and I didn’t think I could look after Mason as well as the babies. The love we had for each other was immeasurable but would it be enough to live? I was so sad and confused and I struggled for breath as the enormity of the situation flooded me and I gazed at my man, whatever he was right now, he was still my man and I loved him completely and unreservedly.

  CHAPTER 34

  About an hour later he started to grumble and flip, I rushed over to him and stroked his hair “Ssshhh” I whispered and he moaned “Ava?” he rasped, his eyes still shut and a slither of drool trailed from the corner of his mouth. “Jesus Mason, why do you do this to yourself?” I whispered wretchedly. He groaned again and his hand started flapping about. I caught it with my own and held on tightly “I’m here baby” I whispered against his brow as I brushed a tender kiss across his skin “Ava…” he sighed and fell back into a fretful sleep.

  Another hour later and he started again, fidgeting and moaning. I sighed as I made my way over to him and sank down beside him, gripping his hand firmly and stroking his hair off his forehead “Ssshhh baby” I breathed “Ava…Ava…” he moaned and I closed my eyes against the pain of hearing his wretched cries. Why the hell would anybody want this? It was breaking me listening to the anguish and desolate whimpers coming from him

  “Ava….please…Noooo” he cried. He started to sob in his sleep and I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to wake him so I sat there, listening and weeping as his grief-stricken cries got louder and more heart breaking “Please Ava….Noooo Ava…” I placed my lips against his head again and stroked my thumb across the back of his hand and this seemed to settle him and he drifted back off.

  I stayed beside him this time, waiting for the next onslaught. He was sweating profusely and I reached over, his hand still in mine as I pulled a towel from the cupboard and wiped it over his brow and face.

  He was burning up so I placed his hand down and he immediately began moaning and mumbling but I scurried over to the sink and doused the towel in cold water and settled back beside him again, cooling him with the wetness from the cloth.

  His eyes flicked open for a second and he seemed to focus on me and I held his gaze, telling him without words that I was here for him. He sighed deeply “I love….” He went again, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he passed out.

  This was gonna be a long night and my phone alerted a text:

  SAM

  How you doing sweetheart?

  ME

  We’re both good, he keeps coming round and drifting back. He must have taken a lot of the fucking filth this time!

  SAM

  He did seem uptight earlier and I’ve never seen him this high. He usually dabbles but tonight he appeared completely spaced-out! Let me know if you need me, I’m sleeping in one of the overnight rooms tonight so you won’t be alone with him

  ME

  Thanks Sam, is Greg okay?

  SAM

  Yeah, he’ll live Lol

  ME

  Don’t laugh, it wasn’t funny!!

  SAM

  It WAS funny how you jumped in to guard Greg, he should be there to protect you, and we all think it’s hilarious how you laid Mason out!! Greg is never gonna live this down Lol

  ME

  You rotten bastards!!! Lol, better go, he’s stirring again

  SAM

  Okay, if he starts put him down again!! ;-)

  “Ava” he groaned again but this time his eyes were open and he was staring at me “Ava?” he frowned at me “What are…” shit!!! His face went green and he was looking around desperately. I spotted the waste paper bin and grabbed it just in time; I flung it under him as he vomited violently. “I’ve got you baby” I said gently as he continued to be sick into the basket and I held onto his arm for comfort.

  He groaned and rolled over as he flung his arm over his face. I stood up and his hand shot out “Don’t go” he pleaded and I smiled at him “I’m just gonna wash this out, you gonna be okay while I do that?” I asked and he moaned but nodded “Lay on your side while I’m gone Mason” I implored, the last thing I needed was him choking on his vomit. He pointed to a door at the back of the room “Bathroom” he rasped and I nodded and stepped through the door to find a toilet, shower and sink “Cool” I smiled as I eyed the shower, I would kill for one right now, the need for the refreshing water pounding and invigorating my skin but I knew that would have to wait.

  I emptied the basket and rinsed it out in the shower and then returned to Mason. He was asleep again and I took the opportunity to make a coffee.

  Sitting down on the floor beside him again I sipped on the hot liquid and studied the beautiful creature that was so hell bent on destroying himself. He was an absolute God, he could have any woman he wanted and I struggled to wonder why he so desperately wanted me, plain old me that had a more fucked up life than the average person but Mason had held my hand and helped me rid myself of the demons that plagued me. Could I do that for him? I owed it him, I knew that but would I survive it? He had helped me get vengeance for Katie, helped to crack the hard shell I had built around myself, he had given me the courage to open up and talk, he had made me feel confident, sexy and beautiful, he had given up his life and freedom to let me keep mine and most of all he had given me his heart so freely as I had given him mine and I knew without a doubt he would protect me and his children with his last breath.

  I stroked his face as I amazed at the sheer magnificence of him, he turned my insides to jelly, my heart to beat faster and my blood to rage through my tight veins. He was stunning; his square stubbled jaw, his hard chiselled cheekbones, his full pink lips and his warm grey eyes and I longed to touch him. Feel him under my hands, his hard pecs to his strong muscled abs down to that exquisite ‘V’ and his perfect tight arse.

  I slid my thumb across his bottom lip and his warm breath wisped across my skin and I smiled as his eyes flickered beneath his lids and his lips
curved into a wonderful smile and I relaxed a little knowing that his dream was taking him away from his nightmares. “Ava….” He giggled and I smiled wider. It must be a good dream! He giggled again and the let out a long low groan and my eyes widened as I saw his cock twitch beneath his trousers “Ahhhh” he moaned and I felt my inside light up at the husky sound of the obvious pleasure he was dreaming about “Ava….” He breathed out and I closed my eyes and stood, making myself walk into the bathroom. I did not need this damn throb at the moment, my sex life was over for a while and I had to distance myself from him in his high state of arousal.

  I used the toilet, flushed and washed my hands before I timidly ventured back. He seemed to have settled and was sleeping soundly again and I settled back on the floor beside him and rested my head on the couch.

  I felt him stroking my hair and I peeled open my eyes and peered up at him “Hi there” I smiled as I saw life in his eyes and a small smile on his face “Hey” he whispered as his fingers slid down my face and he stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers “Have you been here all night?” he asked, his voice low and throaty. I sighed and nodded, stretching my arms and legs and rolling my head around my neck “Why?” he asked simply and I shook my head sadly “Why do you do it Mason?” I probed with sadness and he let out a soft breath “Because it helps me block out all the shit” he shrugged as I huffed.

  He sat up and let his head flop back on the couch “But it makes you like this Mason! All night you have suffered agonised nightmares and sweats and sickness and I can’t understand” I stood and walked over to the kettle as I felt his eyes on me “Why did you stay with me Ava?” he repeated his question and I shrugged “Because it hurt me to see you like that, so…so utterly broken” I gazed at him dolefully and he cocked his head and regarded me with narrow eyes but I turned around and made coffee, handing him the mug and sitting beside him.