Sanctuary Found_Pelican Bay [Book 2]

by Sloane Kennedy

  “Maddox,” Isaac cried as he opened his eyes and looked down at me. His pupils were blown and I knew he was close.

  Really close.

  I wanted to watch him go, but I wanted to follow right after him too.

  I quickly sat up and wrapped my arm around his waist and flipped him so he was lying beneath me. I managed to keep my cock buried deep inside of him. Isaac’s arms wound around my neck as I pushed into him.

  Hard.

  Deep.

  Really deep.

  He cried out and wrapped his legs around me. I could feel his weeping dick between our bodies, but I didn’t know if he needed me to jerk him off. From the way he was hanging onto me and jamming his hips up to meet my brutal thrusts as I pounded into his lithe body, my guess was that he didn’t need the extra contact. He took the choice away from me when he suddenly dropped his legs and grabbed my ass with his hands and dug his blunt fingernails into my skin.

  “Harder, Maddox! Harder!”

  I braced my arms next to his head and proceeded to pummel him with one thrust after another. Our bodies writhed against one another in a rhythm that I never would have thought we could sustain. But it went on and on as our orgasms seemed to build and build. I knew enough that there was a spot inside of him that was guaranteed to send him over if I could just find it. So I began canting my hips and twisting them as I slammed into him. I knew I’d hit the mother lode when he screamed and bit down on my shoulder.

  So I nailed him there again.

  And again.

  My name tore from his lips as he came. Hot liquid hit my belly and chest and mixed with the sweat that was coating both our bodies in a fine sheen. My dog tags were dragging back and forth over Isaac’s chest as I kept fucking into him. It almost looked like he was wearing them.

  The idea of him wearing something that important to me did funny things to me that I couldn’t explain. It was like I claimed ownership over him in that moment merely because of that one image.

  And that was when my body gave up the fight. Isaac’s inner muscles were still flexing around my cock as he continued to ride out the orgasm. So between that and the idea of him wearing my dog tags, I was a goner. I dropped my mouth to his neck as I came. His hands had slid up my wet back at some point and he clung to me as I came deep inside of him. I kept pushing into him as I emptied into the condom, but he didn’t protest the rough thrusts. If anything, he held onto me tighter with every single one. It wasn’t until I completely collapsed on top of him that his fingers began toying with the back of my neck as I kept my face buried against the spot where his shoulder met his collarbone. Aftershocks tore through my body for what seemed like ages, but he never once tried to get me to pull out of him. I knew I was too heavy for him, but when I tried to lift some of my weight off him he whispered in my ear, “No, stay.”

  So I did.

  It was a long time before I pulled out of him. I reluctantly got up to get rid of the condom and grab a washcloth for both of us. He was still sprawled out on top of my sleeping bag when I returned to the living room. I cleaned him and myself up and tossed the washcloth aside, then got us both into the sleeping bag. He snuggled up against my chest. There were a lot of things I wanted to say, but there was one thing in particular that had been haunting me from the night I’d met him and Newt.

  “Isaac?” I said softly.

  “Yeah?”

  “What’s your middle name?”

  “What?” Isaac asked in surprise. His fingers were playing with my dog tags while I was running mine up and down his spine.

  “The night we met, you and Newt were talking about how people couldn’t hurt you with their words if they didn’t know your middle names… because if they didn’t care about you enough to know your middle names, it didn’t count when they tried to hurt you.”

  Isaac was quiet for a moment and I fully expected him not to tell me. It was a big ask. But I didn’t know how else to make it clear that what we’d just done hadn’t just been about sex. That he meant more to me than that. I was afraid if I told him how I really felt, he’d run for sure. I could feel it there, just beneath the surface–the inherent fear of trusting someone else besides himself and his brother, of caring about someone else, of letting them care for him. But maybe if I could tell him without telling him…

  He didn’t speak for a long time and I figured that was his way of telling me we weren’t there yet, but when he whispered, “Aaron,” I felt the tension in my chest ease.

  “Aaron,” I repeated. It occurred to me then that I didn’t know his last name, but I wasn’t going to push on that one.

  Not yet.

  “Can I ask Newt to tell me his?” I said softly.

  He nodded against my chest.

  We were both quiet for a really long time and I actually thought he’d fallen asleep when he all of a sudden whispered, “Don’t hurt him, Maddox. Please.”

  He’d said him, but I knew what he’d really meant to say.

  Us.

  Don’t hurt us.

  “I won’t, baby. Not ever.”

  Isaac didn’t respond other than to close his fingers around my dog tags and curl into my chest. But that in itself was response enough.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Isaac

  Will you tell me what happened that day?” I asked as I fingered Maddox’s dog tags. After two weeks of spending nearly every night in Maddox’s arms, the little stamped pieces of metal were becoming more of a familiar comfort rather than an object of fascination. I’d already memorized his blood type and religion along with the ten-digit number that Maddox had said was some kind of Department of Defense identifier. I’d asked him about his religion one night after making love and that was when he’d told me about his parents. I’d been surprised to learn his father had been a one-time televangelist and his mother had been a B movie actress. He’d spoken fondly of his early years with his parents, but something had clearly changed in the later years and while he hadn’t said it out loud, I had a feeling that the alcohol that had played a role in the accident that had ultimately killed his parents and maimed his brother had also been the reason for his childhood turning into something negative rather than positive.

  Despite the fact that Maddox and I were at a point where we seemed to know one another’s bodies better than we knew our own, we’d been careful about the subjects we’d discussed.

  Well, I’d been careful.

  Maddox had been more open.

  He’d tried several times to broach the topic of my past, but I’d adamantly remained silent on the matter, so he hadn’t pushed. But I knew it was just a matter of time. For my part, I was trying to pretend Newt and I would be leaving any day now, but here we were, two weeks later, and I still couldn’t find my way out of Maddox’s arms… or bed.

  But nights at his house were all we had, because I refused to engage with him at the sanctuary while we were working.

  Not because I was embarrassed or worried about people finding out about us, but because I thought that by pretending that Maddox and I only had a physical relationship, it would make it that much easier just to pack up the car and leave.

  So far, I hadn’t even managed to pack our bags, let alone the car. If anything, Newt and I were settling more comfortably into Dallas and Nolan’s house. To make matters worse, Maddox had recently started accepting the invitations Dallas had extended for him to join us for dinner. Which meant he was spending more and more time not only in my company, but Newt’s as well.

  And Newt was loving every moment of it.

  Maddox had become his new hero and since all of the kittens and most of the cats had been adopted, Newt was following Maddox around the sanctuary during the day and helping him out with different projects, which Maddox didn’t seem to mind even a little bit. Newt had confided in me only a few nights ago that he’d told Maddox his middle name, then he’d asked me if Maddox was going to be his dad or his brother.

  So clearly, Maddox and I weren’t fooling
anyone in terms of our relationship.

  But try as I might, I couldn’t stay away from him.

  And so little of it actually had to do with the sex.

  It was phenomenal sex, of course, but it was the moments afterwards that I craved.

  Like now.

  “It was a roadside bomb outside Mosul. We’d just finished our last mission and I was driving,” Maddox began. “The guys were celebrating, but still watchful, you know?” he said.

  I nodded.

  Maddox’s fingers were alternating between stroking over my hip and petting Snotrod, who was tucked up between us. The little kitten was thriving under Maddox’s care and he actually brought him with him every day when he came to the sanctuary. The baby usually spent the day either in my lap as I worked on the computer or with Nolan as he was dealing with the center’s endless paperwork. For whatever reason, the kitten seemed to love the time it spent tucked inside of Maddox’s parka as he walked to and from his house. Dallas had driven Maddox home a couple of times when the weather had gotten particularly dicey, but he still struggled with being in a car.

  “I knew in my gut something was off, but I didn’t listen to it. I chose to listen to my commanding officer instead. The bomb took out the Humvee behind us, killing everyone instantly. The Humvee I was in flipped. Those who weren’t killed in the blast instantly fought the few insurgents who ambushed us. They managed to kill them all, but most of my guys were wounded in the process. I missed all of it because the blast knocked me out cold. When I came to, I was lying on one side of the vehicle. One of my men’s bodies was on top of me–I think he’d been trying to drag me to safety. I managed to get to my knees. All I could hear was this pounding. Over and over. It was so loud, but that’s all it was. Just pounding…”

  Maddox’s voice broke and I quickly covered his hand with mine where it was resting on Snot’s back. I linked our fingers and began rubbing my thumb back and forth over his skin.

  “I started checking the bodies to see if any of my guys were alive. I managed to call for help, but they were all dead. But the pounding wouldn’t stop. I finally managed to crawl around to the other side of the overturned Humvee and that’s when I saw him.” Maddox’s eyes sheened over with tears. “He was fucking pinned beneath the thing.”

  “Who?” I asked gently.

  “Jett.” Maddox shook his head. “He’d been using the butt of his machine gun to pound on the roof of the Humvee. I thought the pounding was in my head. Maybe if I hadn’t ignored it for those couple of minutes…”

  “You know a couple of minutes wouldn’t have changed the outcome,” I said. I didn’t even know what that outcome was, but there was no doubt in my mind that from what he’d told me, he’d been completely helpless in that situation and if the other man had been pinned beneath a vehicle that had to easily weigh five thousand pounds, if not more, there was little he could have done, no matter the circumstances.

  “Did you lose him?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “We got him evac’d. But the doctors couldn’t save his legs below the knee. When he woke up and found out, he just…” Maddox shook his head. “It was like he died in that moment, I guess.”

  “What happened to him?”

  “I was discharged after about a week in the hospital. I went to see him and found out he’d… he’d tried to slit his wrists. He’d been transferred to a psych ward and restrained and heavily medicated because he was threatening to do it again. I lost it. I tore the place up until I myself had to be restrained and sedated. It was my fault—”

  “It wasn’t,” I tried to interject, but Maddox just shook his head again.

  “It was. I should have followed my gut. I should have—”

  I kissed him to silence him. “It’s not your fault, Maddox,” I said softly.

  He didn’t respond, but he didn’t try to push me away either. When he’d calmed down, I asked, “Where’s Jett now?”

  “Oklahoma. He lives with his grandmother. I haven’t seen him since we got back to the states a few months ago. I call and text, but he doesn’t want to talk to me. I’m… I’m worried he’s going to try it again when his grandmother passes. He’s all she has, so I think that’s keeping him from hurting himself for now, but he’s refusing to do physical therapy or get fitted for prosthetics and he’s not getting any kind of counseling. As far as he’s concerned, his life is over. I want to go check on him, but I’m afraid it’ll just make things worse.”

  I didn’t really know what to say, so I just held him and murmured, “I’m sorry, Maddox.”

  It was a good while later when I looked at my phone and saw it was well after two in the morning. Maddox had fallen asleep with his face tucked against my neck. Snotrod was curled up under his chin. I moved my hand up to ease the kitten off my shoulder and onto the sleeping bag as I began to get up, but Maddox’s big arm tightened on my waist.

  “Don’t go,” he said softly.

  “I have to,” I said.

  This was the worst part of the night for me. That moment where I had to get up to leave and Maddox held onto me just a little tighter. But he’d never actually asked me not to go before.

  “Dallas and Nolan know where you are,” Maddox said as he levered up on his elbow after moving Snot to a position just above our heads but still on the sleeping bag.

  “But Newt doesn’t,” I said.

  “He’s not the real reason, is he?” Maddox asked.

  I turned my eyes away because the man was just too perceptive. He was absolutely right. I was using Newt as an excuse. Not once had my brother asked where I was going each night, which meant he hadn’t woken up and looked for me.

  “Stay, Isaac,” Maddox murmured as he ran his fingers along my temple. “We can sleep in and go to work together.”

  “Unless you plan to carry me on your back the whole way there and back, that’s not going to happen,” I said with a laugh.

  But Maddox didn’t smile. Instead he remained fiercely serious as he said, “You could drive me.”

  This time my laugh was harsh. “You don’t play fair, do you?” I would have given anything to be the one to keep helping him deal with his fear of cars. And the fact that he was willing to get in a car if it meant he could spend a little more time with me just broke my damn heart.

  “Just stay, baby,” he said as he kissed my shoulder. “We’ll figure it all out, I promise.”

  I wanted to say yes, I really did. I could practically taste the word in my mouth. It would be so easy to utter that one little syllable and then curl into his chest. Maybe even make love again.

  But I knew what I’d be saying yes to.

  And I couldn’t.

  I just couldn’t.

  My gut was telling me that Maddox had gotten to the point that he could get past the fact that I’d broken the law in a big way–way bigger than even stealing that violin for Trey–which meant he’d do anything in his power to protect me.

  And I couldn’t risk that.

  Or him.

  He was finally reconnecting with his brother and building a new life for himself. No chance in hell was I going to put that in jeopardy.

  It took every ounce of willpower I had to turn away from him and get to my feet. I quickly got dressed. I could feel Maddox’s eyes on me the whole time, but he didn’t try to stop me. I pulled on my plain pink cotton briefs and turned to face him. It was funny how I’d gone to hating not being able to wear my pretty underwear every day, or even just the nights when I came to see him. But I only had the one pair because I both hadn’t wanted to risk anyone finding me with an array of women’s underwear, and because I hadn’t wanted to spend the money on the higher quality brands that made me feel the most confident in my own skin. As it was, I had to wash the one pair by hand in the sink and hide them so they wouldn’t inadvertently be discovered. Maddox might not have an issue with me wearing them, but that didn’t mean I wanted anyone else, including Newt, finding them.

  But God, how I hated the
feel of plain cotton on my skin now.

  I began dragging my jeans on as Maddox watched me. He was clearly disappointed, but I was glad when he didn’t say anything. It wasn’t until I had my shirt back on that he got up and, completely naked, walked to me. My mouth went dry at the sight of his miles and miles of tanned skin and muscles. He wrapped an arm around me and kissed me passionately. I was just about to say fuck it and shuck all my clothes off again when he pulled back. His eyes held mine for a moment like he was trying to figure something out, then he softly kissed me and said, “Just so you know, Isaac, when it comes to you, I have absolutely no intention of playing fair.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Maddox

  I was just in the process of confirming the door to Gentry’s building was locked when my phone beeped. I recognized the tone I used for texts from Dallas, so I immediately pulled the phone from my pocket. Although Dallas’s appointment with his surgeon had gone well and he’d gotten the go-ahead to start using his voice again, it was difficult to understand him, and it would likely take dozens of visits and a lot of work with his speech therapist before he got to a point that the majority of people would be able to understand what he was saying. Things like yes and no were easy enough to understand, but anything with more than a couple of syllables was still tough. I knew his raspy, barely there voice also embarrassed my brother, but he was still making an effort. I, for one, thought his voice was one of the best things I’d ever heard.

  I looked down at the notification and saw enough that I didn’t need to open the whole text.

  Get up here. Isaac is leaving.

  I barely held onto the phone as I sprinted up the path toward Dallas and Nolan’s house. Nolan and Newt had already played their songs for Gentry while Dallas and Isaac had taken Snotrod with them up to the house to get started on dinner. I’d volunteered to do one last walk-through to make sure all the buildings and enclosures were secure before joining the family for dinner. I had no clue what possibly could have gone wrong between then and now because Isaac had seemed fine when he’d said his goodbyes to me. No, we hadn’t been allowed to touch because he was still sticking to his ridiculous rule while we were anywhere but my house, but I knew Dallas and Nolan suspected Isaac and I were seeing each other. The fact that Dallas was texting me about Isaac was proof that he knew there was something between us.