by Tia Siren
Once it was fully inside me, with my legs over his shoulders, Liam began to move. He slid it all the way out, until the head was ready to pop out, before pushing his hips forward and ramming it inside of me again. He thrust as far as it would go, before pulling it back out, and then going again. In and out, in and out, he went. Each time, he would also grind forward, rubbing my clit with his shaft.
The sensation was epic. Before long, I felt that all too familiar feeling. My toes went numb first. And then, the harder he punished me, my legs followed. Soon, that fire was spreading up my torso and over my entire body. I grabbed onto his hair, I screamed, I squirmed, I writhed, and I kicked. As he did the same, filling me up with his warm and sticky load, I came like I never had before. I mean, probably. No amnesia could erase the memory of something that felt this good.
And even when we were both done, even when he fell forward on top of me, he stayed inside of me. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him in there forever. That was sex like I could have never imagined. So perfect, so natural. So right.
--
"Well, you promised me some good memories,” I said as we laid next to one another. “I think that definitely counts.”
"That was really something," he said, laughing as I snuggled myself into his arms. "Seriously, where did that come from?"
"I'm the one with no memory here," I said. "It's up to you to show me how."
"Hopefully, I managed. As far as I'm concerned, I am the only person you have ever slept with. It’s all downhill from here." He chuckled to himself as he ran his hand through my hair.
"Actually," I said as I remembered something. "I came across my journal yesterday. Would you believe that you're the second Liam I have been with?"
"Is that right?" he asked. If I wasn't in such a state of bliss, I might have noticed how dry his voice suddenly was. How distracted.
"Yeah. From a year or so ago. Seemed he broke my heart." I leaned up and kissed Liam on the cheek. "It's good to know that there is at least one good Liam around."
A vibration noise suddenly came from Liam's pants pocket on the floor. Without a word, he pulled his arm from under my head, leapt off the bed, and grabbed at the source of the noise. It was his beeper. He read it, and he began to scurry into his pants.
"What's going on?" I asked as I wrapped myself in the sheets, leaning off the edge of the bed.
"I've got to go," he said shortly, his shirt now over his head.
"You've got to go?” I asked, trying not to sound hurt. “I thought you were staying the night?"
"Sorry,” he said. “I’m on call, and they need me. I have to get to the hospital, ASAP.”
“Can’t you get someone to cover for you?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Not on such short notice. I'll call you, though, okay?"
I didn't get a chance to answer. He leaned forward, kissed me on the forehead, and was out the door before I could make heads or tails of the situation. And so, I was alone. I was still warm and sweaty from the sex. I was still a little sticky, too. The only thing missing was a man by my side. I had one, obviously, but he had left me in a bit of a hurry.
As such, I had to ask myself whether he left because of the hospital or because of me? And even if it was because of the hospital, was that the kind of guy that I wanted to be attached to? Liam, who had seemed so perfect earlier, had suddenly revealed an ugly side. The only question was, was it an ugly side that I could handle?
CHAPTER 9
LIAM
"So, why'd you leave then?" Clint asked as we made our way from one hospital room to the other.
"You act like I had a choice," I replied as we entered the room. In it was an elderly woman that was relatively fine. We simply had to check her chart and make sure that she wasn't in immediate danger.
"You could have called in sick? Or said your car broke down. Or something."
As Clint droned on with a list of possible excuses I could have made, I couldn't help but think that maybe he was right. The call that I had gotten was from an intern who needed my approval on a procedure he was going to recommend. Although he was my intern and he was right to ask me, I could have easily pawned him off on someone else. Someone who was at the hospital at the time.
But no. Instead, I chose to hurry to the hospital like the good lap dog that the hospital had trained me to be, and as a result, I had left Kate alone, without much of an explanation, probably lamenting the fact that she had ever said yes to going out with me in the first place.
What was worse was that I still hadn't called her, either. I had left her the previous night, and it was now well into the next day, and I had still avoided putting a call through. Just a simple “hello,” and “'I'm sorry,” probably would have solved everything. But I hadn't even done that yet.
The truth was that I was scared. I was scared that she would be furious with me, and thus, I opted to do nothing. For all my talk of getting her to fall in love with me again, I seemed to be doing everything in my power to stop that from happening. And here I thought I had changed. I thought I’d learned from my past mistakes with Kate, and I would be a better man for her this time around. I thought I would be the man she deserved to be with, not the old shitty me who didn’t appreciate what he had.
If I couldn’t change who I was, maybe I didn't deserve Kate after all?
"Hello, doctors," Sandra, the nurse, cooed as myself and Clint entered the next room. Sandra was the head nurse at the hospital, and that had nothing to do with her age or sex. She was in charge because of her skill and experience.
She was quite young for a head nurse. In her mid-thirties, she was also nothing short of beautiful. She had flaming red hair and porcelain white skin that was offset by the most vivid, green eyes I had ever seen. She also had a little bit of a thing for me and flirted with me incessantly. And yet, despite all of that, I just couldn't find myself to like her in that way. It was nothing against her. She just wasn't my type.
"Nurse Sandra," I said as I walked to the patient lying in bed. "And what seems to be the problem here?"
"Oh, nothing," she giggled, slapping me on the arm. "I can handle this one. I'm sure someone like you has far more important patients to worry about." And another slap on the arm.
"Aren't they all equally important?" I asked. Not in a rude way, but more of a doctorly one.
"Oh, of course," Sandra hurried. "I just meant... it's just that... I thought..."
"Sandra, I'm kidding, don't worry." I could sense that she was getting flummoxed, and I thought it best to throw her a bone.
One she took willingly as she slapped me on the arm again and shrieked with laughter.
"Hey," Clint suddenly cut in, tapping me on the shoulder. "Isn't that Kate?"
He pointed just outside the door to the nurse's station where Kate was standing. It looked like she was trying to get information from one of the nurses.
"Yeah. What is she doing here? I'll be right back."
I hurried from the room, leaving both Clint and an off-put Sandra behind.
Kate looked terrible. Her hair was a mess, she was wearing old, un-ironed clothes, and she was sporting heavy bags under her eyes. If I was to guess, I would say that she hadn't done much sleeping last night.
"Kate," I said as I approached her. As I did, I reached out, touching her under the elbow and going in to kiss her on the cheek. Although she let me do just that, her response still seemed cold to me. "What are you doing here?"
"We need to talk," she said in a cold manner that perfectly matched her body language.
As she spoke, I felt a sudden wave of anxiety wash over me. I would have liked to have thought that the reason for her sudden visit was to do with me leaving her the previous night. But something told me that wasn't it. The way she looked at me, the way she felt, I sensed that it was much worse.
To me, there was only one possible reason for her being there. She remembered. Her memory had come back. She knew who I was, and she was there to confront me.
I braced myself, not sure what I was going to say, or how I was going to say it. Maybe I should admit to it straight away? Before she had a chance to confront me?
"You can probably tell that I didn't do much sleeping last night," she began, indicating her disheveled appearance.
"Me, either," I joked, or at least tried to.
She wasn't having any of it though. "I didn't sleep because, look. I was up most of the night thinking about you. About us."
"Us?" I asked, trying to sound casual about it.
"Yes. I know it's early, and I know that we've only been out one time, but I don't know. Last night felt like more than just a one-time thing? It felt right. Natural even. I don't know about you, but I'm sure I have never felt anything like that before. I mean, probably. And I can't believe that you have either. Tell me I'm wrong."
I didn't know what to say. She was right, of course. The sex was unbelievable, and not just in how good it was, but in how right it felt. We had instantly slipped back into our old routines, ones which had never gotten stale in the first place. I felt it the whole time, and now I knew that she felt it, too.
"And then..." She took a deep breath, obviously struggling with what she was about to say. "And then, you picked up and left. And I know you're a doctor. Hell, you’re my doctor. And I know that sometimes you will need to go at a moment's notice. I just need to know that this isn't going to be a common thing. I need to know that I still matter to you? Please."
If it was anyone else, I would have assumed she was moving way too fucking quickly. Christ, one date and one night in the sack, and she was showing up at the hospital to give me shit. She might have lost her memories, but her opinions on my work schedule hadn’t disappeared.
Lucky for her, it wasn't anyone else. It was Kate. And after what we both felt the previous night, I couldn't blame her for the question.
And all I wanted to do was assure her that it was a one-off thing and that it wouldn't happen again. But I couldn't. It was the same thing that had happened when we dated last time, and it was that which caused friction between us. She had threatened to break up with me over it, before I did that for us. I told myself time and time again that I wouldn't let the job interfere if I got a second chance with Kate, and yet, I kept letting it.
And then, as if to prove a point, my beeper suddenly vibrated. I bit my lip, picked it up off my belt, and looked at it. It was a call I couldn't ignore. There was a code blue in the ICU that I had to be at.
"I'm sorry, Kate. I promise to call you later, okay?"
I kissed her on the cheek and ran down the hall. As I did, I dared a glance back over my shoulder to see what her reaction was. As I feared, she didn't have one. The kiss on the cheek felt cold, and her body language was even colder. As I ran toward the ICU and away from Kate, I was almost certain that I had fucked everything up and lost her forever.
CHAPTER 10
KATE
I didn't know what to do or how to feel.
After Liam ran off, leaving me standing by the nurses’ station alone, I didn't move for several minutes. The world seemed to spin around me, and I just stood there. I felt dejected, alone, and isolated. I was in a hospital, feeling sick to my stomach, and I knew that there was no one there that could do anything about it.
After what was probably only minutes, but felt like hours, I finally worked up the courage to leave. I left the hospital, wondering if I would ever go back.
I was going to go home, crawl into a ball, and feel sorry for myself, but I couldn't. Not right away, anyway. First, I walked. I was basically a tourist in my own city. I didn't know any of the landmarks or any of the sites. I didn’t know the streets from one another, and I wasn't even sure of the fastest way to get back to my apartment. But none of that mattered. I had nowhere to be and no one to be there with.
I loved the city. Although I couldn't confirm it, I was sure that I always had. There was just something so magical about the place. It was all the different people that you could see. They were all so unique and interesting in their own way. I liked to look up at random skyscraper buildings and imagine who lived in each apartment and whether any of them were going through even a tenth of what I currently was. Somehow, I doubted it.
I just could not believe that Liam had done that. I was so sure that he was going to be different. He had seemed that way right from the beginning. When I was alone and scared, he had been a bright light for me to latch onto, one that guided me out of my funk. When we went on that date, he had known me so well, better than I had known myself. The places he took me and the things we did implied that he wasn't just some guy trying to get into my pants. But that he actually cared for me. At least, that was how it seemed.
And when we made love, because that was what it was. It was us making love. Two people in perfect sync. It was simpatico in every way. The way that he went down on me, bringing me to pleasure so easily, as if he had done it a hundred times before. I knew, then, that he was more than just the average man.
But I guess that I was wrong.
I walked through Central Park, back in what I was pretty sure was the direction of my apartment. The problem with having amnesia is that all my memories were so new. Everything that I did reminded me of something that happened recently. The smell of the leaves, the rustling of the tree tops. They all reminded me of my date with Liam, simply because there was nothing else they could remind me of. And every time that they reminded me of my date with Liam, a knife drove itself into my stomach.
I just couldn’t believe I was so stupid. I shouldn't have gone out with him. I definitely shouldn't have slept with him, and I most certainly, without a doubt, shouldn't have allowed myself to fall for him so quickly. It was now so obvious that he didn't feel that way about me, and all I did was open myself up to being hurt.
My apartment was in a sketchy part of town, and as I made my way toward my building, I didn't care about the screaming and yelling that happened around me. Liana had warned me to never walk down there by myself at night, but in that moment, I didn’t care.
I didn't even care or notice that the building door was open and that anyone could just walk in if they so pleased. I didn't even care that the elevator didn't require a key card, and thus, anyone who was in the building could ride to any floor. And so engrossed in my funk was I that I didn't even notice that my apartment door was open, only just, until I was already inside.
I saw the shadow of the man only after I was well into my apartment, and the door was closed behind me. He stood in the corner of the room, watching me. It was as if he were waiting for me. Darkness engulfed him, meaning that only his silhouette was visible. And in his hands was something big and long and dangerous looking.
If I had been more aware of the moment and not so lost in my own thoughts, I might have screamed. I might have turned back, thrown open the door, and sprinted down the hallway. But considering the circumstances, all I did was stare at the man in my apartment.
For several moments, the two of us looked at one another, neither moving. It was in this moment of silence that I slowly inched backward, making my way toward the door, all the while, very aware of whatever it was that he held in his hands.
"Wait," he said, and I recognized the voice instantly.
"Liam?" I said, letting out a huge sigh of relief.
As I did I reached over and flipped on the light. Indeed, the shadowy figure standing in my apartment was Liam. And the object he held in his hands was a bouquet of flowers.
"The door was open so I let myself in. I hope that's okay?" He spoke softly. Nervously. I couldn't recall a time I had ever heard him so gently spoken. He was usually so commanding. At least, I thought so.
I shook my head. “Dude, you scared the shit out of me. Why the hell didn’t you say something right when I walked in? Why stare at me creepily from a dark corner?”
He glanced around him. “Damn, I didn’t realize you couldn’t really see me. I promise I wasn’t lurking in here. And I
didn’t say anything because it seemed like you were pissed off to see me. I wasn’t sure what to say.”
“I thought you were a burglar or something,” I said, still trying to calm the pounding of my heart in my chest. “What do you want?" I asked, a little more offensively than I had intended.
I didn't know what to make of him being there. The truth was, I had half expected to never hear from him again.
"I came to apologize."
"To apologize?”
"Just let me explain,” he began, taking a step forward.
I could see him trying to think of the right thing to say. I knew what I wanted to hear. I just hoped it was what he wanted to say.
"What I did last night was wrong and shitty. There is no excuse for it. I definitely could have handled that better. And I should have called you as soon as I had a chance. The hospital has been my crutch for the longest time. I've used it as an excuse to get out of everything and to never let anyone get close. Well, I'm not going to let it do that anymore. Starting now the hospital comes second."
"And what comes first?"
"You," he said, as if it were the most obvious answer in the entire world. "You come first. You always ha–I mean, you always should. I just hope that it isn't too late for me to tell you that."
I didn't answer immediately. Instead, I walked up to him, taking the flowers from his grip, and I examined them. I was careful not to smile or give anything away as I looked them over, my eyes darting to his face every few seconds. It was only when the tension was properly mounted and I could sense the desire coming from him that I finally answered.
"I would have liked some nicer flowers. But I suppose these will do." It was a joke, of course, and my huge smile was indicative of that.
"The best I could do on short notice," he said, returning the smile. "Next time, I'll get you roses."