by Tia Siren
So I asked her out. Even as I said the words, I couldn't believe it. I had no right to do it, after what I had done to her. But I also knew that if I didn't, then I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself.
So I did it under the guise of having something big to tell her. My news that I was leaving the hospital. But really, I just wanted to spend some time with her again, just one more time. Just one more night to rekindle the memories that we had so that when I did leave the country, it would be in peace.
As I made my way to the bar where we had agreed to meet, I couldn't believe how nervous I was. I was literally shaking with nerves. I felt like I was in high school again, going on my first ever date. What was I going to say? What would she say? Was this romantic or platonic?
My mind was totally focused on her. I didn't notice the crowd of New Yorkers, spilling out onto the street, ready for a Saturday night of drinking and partying. I didn't notice the chill in the air, despite the fact that I was wearing a button-down shirt and no jacket. I barely even noticed the bar as I walked into it and couldn't for the life of me remember sitting down.
When I texted her the time to meet and the location, she responded with a very curt, “sure.” I wasn't even sure if she would come. I wouldn't have been surprised if she didn't. It would have been exactly what I deserved. More than that even.
But then I spotted her. As she walked through the door, it was as if time slowed down. It was bizarre really. Tunnel vision kicked in, and I only had eyes for her. Her long brown hair seemed to glimmer in the candlelight of the bar. She wore a casual black tank top and jeans, but to me, it looked like a gown.
She smiled when she saw me, and my heart nearly burst. All the emotions I had spent so long pushing down and forgetting had come back to the forefront with that smile. Just like that, I was in love. Again.
"Hey," I said, trying to sound casual and in control as she sat down.
"Hey," she responded in the same tone. We were at a small table, and she pulled a seat out directly opposite me, so as to not be too close.
"So, you look good." I sighed openly the moment that I said it. It was just so pedestrian. What a stupid thing to say.
"Thanks, I guess," she responded, looking increasingly nervous. "So, that drink?"
"Right," I waved the server over and ordered our drinks. I was just happy to have a distraction. But once he was gone, we were alone again. An awkward silence fell between us. I looked at her, and she did everything she could to not look at me. For a moment there, I thought that we were about to have the shortest drink in history.
But it was as I looked at her, watching her, that I began to feel at ease. I don't know why or how, but the nervousness that had surrounded me, the panic that I had felt, suddenly evaporated as if it were never there in the first place. Maybe I had just had enough? Maybe I just needed to be reminded of who it was that I was with and that we weren't two strangers, but ex-lovers who were perfect for one another.
"This is dumb," I said. "Seriously. I'm going to start again, and we can forget about the last, let's say, three minutes. Deal?"
"Deal," she said, smiling at me for the first real time. The moment she did, I could feel the pressure fall from us as the tension lifted.
"So, tell me about this book." And she did just that.
Once she began to talk, the two of us fell into old patterns like it had been a day, not three months, since we had last seen each other. She told me all about the book and how she had come up with the idea. And I had to hand it to her. It was a great idea. I wasn't the least bit offended, and even a little touched, that she used me as inspiration, despite the odd circumstances.
I then told her about what I had been doing for the last three months. I made sure to keep it light and leave off the part about the heart ache and how tough it was for me. If she had felt the same as I had, she didn't reveal it, either.
We both entered into an unspoken agreement where we didn't mention what had happened. Instead, we focused on the present, and that made all the difference.
Soon, one drink had turned into two, and then two had become three. It wasn't meant to be that way, but the conversation was so free flowing and natural that I didn't want it to end, and evidently, neither did she.
The only thing I didn't tell her was that I was leaving. I meant to bring it up, but every time I was about to, I quickly changed directions. I didn't know why I did it. Perhaps there was a part of me that hoped that we might still get together, and if she knew that I was leaving the country soon, she would revert back to her old self and stop being as friendly as she was. I didn't want that.
"So, what's the next one about then?" I asked as I finished off my third drink. We had gone back to talking about her work, and she had told me that she had a deal to write a second book.
"I actually have no idea. I know they want one in the same genre, but that's about it. It's a strange feeling, having this much freedom. They are literally paying me to ensure that I stick with them. It's crazy."
"Well, if you need inspiration, I'm willing to help. The night is still young after all. Plenty of time for me to embarrass myself and provide you with a new story line."
"Wow, thank you, that's so generous," she said seriously, quickly cracking a smile afterwards.
"If that's the case, another drink?"
"Definitely."
I leaned back over my shoulder, signaling for the waiter. He was at us in less than a second. "Hey, can we have another round?"
"Sorry, sir, ma'am. I'm afraid that we're about to close."
"What? It's only nine?" I responded, shocked while also feeling a little miffed. If the bar was closing than we would have to leave, and that would mean the night was over. I really didn't want that.
"Usually, we're open until one, but our owner has a personal matter he has to attend to, and there's no one on staff tonight that can manage. It's for one night only. If you come back tomorrow, we'll be open until our usual time." He offered us a small bow and hurried away.
"Well, that's annoying," I said, trying to hide my disappointment. I didn't want her knowing how upset I was at the fact that the bar I had chosen had all but ruined my night.
"Do you have work tomorrow?" she asked. It may have been my imagination, but she sounded a little nervous when she asked, as if she wasn't sure she even wanted to know.
"Not until the afternoon."
"Well, if you want another drink, you can always come back to my place. Just for one." She resolutely refused to look at me when she asked, but I could see her cheeks burning up and sense the trepidation in her voice.
"Back to your place?"
"Yeah. I live just around the corner. Only if you want to, of course. You don't have to."
"No, no. I'd like that. Yeah, I'd really like that."
I didn't even bother hiding my smile. There would have been no point. It burned big and bright across my face as I stood from my chair. I then reached my hand out for her. She took it, and I helped her to stand. The moment that our hands touched, a shot of electrical energy charged through my body. Even though it was like nothing I had felt before, I knew exactly what it meant.
Still holding her hand, I led her from the bar and down the street. We didn't talk on the walk, but instead, basked in each other’s company. I had never felt so comfortable, and I was sure she was the same. Although I had no idea where this night was going to end, I just hoped that it was in Kate's company. Really, I just couldn't believe my luck in how the night had turned out.
CHAPTER 30
KATE
He held my hand the entire way back to the apartment, and try as I might, I just couldn't bring myself to pull it from his grip. It felt so warm and tender. So right. It wasn't awkward or strange to be holding his hand again. In fact, had I pulled it out, that would have felt wrong. It was all so confusing.
One drink. That was what I had promised myself. I was going to sit down, hear what he had to say, and then leave. Come to think of it, I couldn'
t even recall if he had told me the news he had asked me out for. Did he even have any news?
It was just that the moment we started talking, or after he cleared the air anyway, everything kind of fell into place. I found myself talking non-stop, in a way that I couldn't with anyone else. Not even Liana.
And more interestingly, when he spoke, I just wanted to listen. Everything he said was interesting and funny and unique. It was just like old times. One drink turned into two and then turned into three. Before I knew it, I was in the bathroom, texting James that I was going to have to cancel our dinner. I didn't even care how he felt. It was terrible, and I should have felt guilty, but all I could think about was the fact that I had left Liam out there by himself. What was wrong with me?
And when I asked him back for a drink, I didn't even realize I was doing it. It just slipped out. What's more, as much as I told him that it was only going to be a drink, even I wasn't so sure what was going to happen.
"Well, what do you think?" I asked as I opened the front door to my new apartment.
I had lived there for a little over a month and was already in love with it. It wasn't anything special, but it had walls to separate the rooms, new carpet, a clean kitchen, and neighbors that didn't scream all night. It already felt more like home than my old place ever had.
"It's perfect," Liam said as he stepped inside and looked around. "Seriously, this place is amazing." He may have been exaggerating slightly, but I didn't care. It was nice to hear and just another affirmation that indeed my life was on the right track, finally.
"Right, that drink," I said as I hurried into the kitchen. Apart from it being a modern kitchen, I had more than just vodka to offer. I could afford more than just vodka. "Whiskey?" I yelled out.
"Sure thing," he replied from the living room.
I poured his drink and mine and carried them out to the living room where he was waiting. "Ah, look at you with the whiskey. You really have grown up."
"I can put on my own makeup now, too, without anyone's help," I joked as he took the drink.
"Well, well, well. You're not that little girl anymore, are you?" He smirked as he took a sip.
"No, not at all," I said as I took a sip.
As I did, I looked into his eyes, and he looked into mine. Neither of us blinked, and I could feel the energy radiating between the two of us. It was electric.
"Is that a balcony?" he suddenly asked, pointing behind me.
"Of course. What, you don’t have one?" I laughed at my own joke.
It was only a small balcony coming off the living room. But considering I was on the twelfth floor with a view of the Park, it struck quite the impressive addition.
"Your old place barely had a fire escape," he joked as he moved to it. Going to open it, he found it to be locked.
"Here let me," I hurried to the sliding door, stepping between his arms as I opened the door. "You need to see this view."
I stepped out onto the balcony. The balcony had one deck chair and a glass, round table. The railing was made of brick and ran waist high. I walked to it, putting my hands on the top of the railing as I looked out over the city. It was then that I felt him behind me. His body pressed up against the back of mine as he stepped behind me, also looking out over the city.
"It's beautiful," he said.
All the while, his body remained pressed against my back. I could feel his crotch in my butt and his hot breath on the back of my neck. I was wedged between him and the railing, and although I could have ducked out of the way, I didn't want to.
"You think so?" I asked, in almost a whisper.
"Yes," he said.
As he said it, his lips touched the back of my neck. I let off an involuntary moan as my knees spasmed. He kissed me again, and I moaned again, but louder.
"Liam, we shouldn't," I said with little conviction.
"I know," he responded, whispering in my ear as his tongue ran up the side of it.
He then kissed my neck again. His hands ran down and rested on my butt. From there, I knew there was no more saying no.
As if he could read my mind, he spun me around by grabbing onto my waist. The moment that we faced one another, we kissed. Like fire erupting between us, I had never felt such heat and passion. I kissed him deeply, and he kissed me back. My hands ran through his hair as he gripped me by the side.
His tongue danced inside my mouth. I nibbled at it, played with it, teased it. Our lips locked onto one another’s. I could have kissed him for hours. I had missed it so much and wanted to show him just that.
His hands wrapped around my waist and lifted me onto the handrail. My legs wrapped around him and pulled him in close. He found the bottom of my tank and tore it off, throwing it over the edge of the balcony. This was followed by my bra. I didn't even care. I just wanted him on me. All over me. Inside of me.
His lips found my nipples. First my right and then my left. He bit and tore at them. They enlarged in his mouth until they were both swollen and hard. Even then, he continued to bite at them. His hands let go of me, trusting that I had the balance, as he then began to massage my breasts.
As he did that I pulled his shirt off, also throwing it over the balcony. I pushed him back, just enough so that I could play with his bare chest. I kissed him down the chest, loving the way that he tasted. That salty, sweaty taste was divine. I licked and bit at him. I couldn't get enough. All the while, he ran his hands over my back, scratching and stroking me.
I was wearing jeans, so they weren't going to be easy to remove, but he found a way. He wrapped his arm around my waist, lifting me in the air just enough so that he could yank my pants off me. The moment they were off, he fell to his knees.
I still had my panties on, a silk thong. He kissed my thighs, sending shivers up my legs. He pinched my thighs. He licked them. He worked his mouth around my pussy, careful to go near it but never actually touch it. I hung on to the top of his head for support, running my hands through his hair.
His lips then kissed my panty line softly. He licked above where my clit was. He then bit at it, nibbled. He played with my panties, using them as a barrier between his mouth and my own lips. His hand then moved up my thigh, running along my panty line, until I felt it pushed to the side. Unable to wait any longer, he finally plunged his tongue into me.
I threw my head back. The wind whipped at my hair. I was very aware of where I was, perched on the balcony, my legs resting on Liam's shoulders as he ate me out. His tongue licked inside my lips, penetrating me. He ran it up to my clit, licking the top, sucking on it with his mouth, tickling and stroking it. I pushed his head in further so that his entire mouth was wrapped around my pussy.
From there, I simply tried not to fall as he ate me out. The sensation was divine, and I had forgotten how good he was at it, and how much I had missed it.
Next, only when he had brought me on the verge of orgasm did he pull his mouth from me. Standing up, he pulled me from the hand railing, spinning me around so that I was bent over it. He then dropped his own pants. I could feel his already hard cock pressed up against my butt.
I reached underneath my legs, wrapping my hand around his massive shaft. It felt so big in my hand, I literally shook at the thought of it inside me. I cocked my leg up, allowing him to get in nice and close. Then he entered me.
I sucked in between my teeth as his shaft pushed at the lips of my wet pussy. It pressed against them, struggling to enter. He was so big, and I was so tight. But eventually, he found a way. Inch by inch, he slid inside of me. My knees nearly dropped out from under me as he entered me. I could feel him stretching me out, testing what I could take.
Once he was all the way inside of me, I began to do what I knew. I moved my hips up and down, working his cock like I used to. I would move up, pulling it from my lips until his head was about to pop out, and then I would push myself down, swallowing the whole thing again. I kept my legs together so that I was as tight as possible.
As I bounced on his cock,
I felt a sharp pain explode across my ass cheek. He spanked me. I let out a scream, so he did it again. My entire torso was hanging over the balcony. My breasts bounced up and down, my body seethed, and my hair whipped in the wind. Horns from the street honked, I could hear people yelling. And I didn't care.
I continued to ride him. He held on for dear life. As I came closer to orgasm, as that fire began to work its way through my body, I indicated to him that I was ready, and he tapped my butt to let me know that he was too.
I clenched my legs in tighter, and I moved my hips faster. He did the same. His movements became more erratic, more unpredictable. I could feel his legs shaking, as were mine. I could feel his body vibrating, as was mine. I could feel him about to come, as was I.
As he came inside me, I came on him. In perfect sync, the two of us orgasmed together, and I couldn't remember a time that it had ever felt so good. I hadn't meant to sleep with Liam that night. Right up until it happened, I told myself that I wasn't going to, and yet, now that I had, I didn't regret it. Not one little bit.
--
We moved from the balcony soon after our session and made our way to the bedroom. Laying there in his arms, I couldn't believe that it had been three months since the last time. It felt like nothing had changed and that we were back together. I wasn't sure if I was ready to go back to the way that things were, but I knew that I was willing to try.
There was just one problem that I had to address. It hadn't even occurred to me before, but now that I lay in bed with Liam, it couldn't believe that I had forgotten all about it.
"Hey, Liam, there’s something I need to tell you," I said as I nuzzled in closer.
"Okay," he said back.
He had been oddly quiet since we had moved to the bed. I hadn't really noticed before, assuming that he was lost in the moment, but now that I had something to tell him, it felt like he already knew. He felt like he was already mad about it.