by Totts, B. J.
Derek stepped closer and drew Jesse into a hug, his arms tight and hard against him, squeezing as if he knew this was the last time he’d get to hold him. The words were barely a whisper as he spoke them. “Last chance, Jess. Come with me.”
“Stop teasing.” he said aloud, and silently he ordered himself not to cry.
“I’m not teasing. Be brave. Take a shot.”
“You’re serious?” Jesse pulled back enough to look up at Derek, scanning his face for insincerity, and found only concern and hope.
“Yeah, I’m serious. I'm not ready for this to be over. Come with me.”
Barely comprehensible thoughts spun through Jesse's mind with the unfocused destructive energy of a tornado until one found its way free. “Mom will need help with the baby.”
“Your mom has had kids before. She knows how to do this, and she’s got Mike. You don’t have to plan around them. What do you want, Jess?”
“I can’t be that far from my family.”
“I’ll be your family.”
It hurt to say the words, but better to face the truth now than to let himself keep pretending this was something it wasn’t. “You just like having sex with me,” he said.
“Wrong. I love you and I love fucking you.”
The shock of Derek's language broke through the storm of his thoughts, and Jesse glanced at his parents to see if they’d heard what he'd said, then smacked his arm and scolded, “Derek!” The rest of Derek's words settled in. “You love me?”
“Yeah. And I thought you felt the same.”
“I do.” His heart pounded as he said the words he'd fought not to admit to himself. Of course he loved Derek, had for years, but the idea that he might be able to do something with that love had seemed so outrageous that he'd been blind to what had been going on the last several days.
“It’s all on you, Jess. No more messing around. Go or stay?”
Jesse closed his eyes and tried to picture what he wanted without the distraction of Derek's full lips peeking out at his from the scruff of his beard, but his mind was full of images from the last few days. The wrinkles around Derek's eyes as he smiled at him. The tan lines and scars Jesse had traced over Derek's skin that formed a map of his life. The way he talked to him when he cooked, relishing good food and conversation. The grip he kept on him when they were in bed together, as if he was afraid he might slip away if he didn’t hold on tightly enough.
“Stay the night,” Jesse said, “We’ll go together in the morning.”
“You sure that’s what you want?”
“Yes, Derek, I’m sure you’re what I want.”
# # #
Other books by B.J. Totts
The Professor and the Soldier: Book One
When a man who knows what he wants meets one who longs to be wanted they may both get more than they bargained for.
Desmond, a retired Marine who now teaches business, is still reeling from his divorce. He's never tried internet dating, but a cup of coffee with a younger man sounds a lot more appealing than staring at the blank walls of his empty home.
Miguel, a soldier on a weekend pass, is just trying to get all his needs met as quickly as he can. Dating sites might be a little sleazy, but they're an efficient way for a man on a mission to get his business handled.
Coffee isn't the only thing getting served hot tonight.
The Professor and the Soldier: Second Date
Desmond's first date since his divorce had ended in bed. He'd enjoyed it, but a warm body isn't enough to fully satisfy him, not even a body as amazing as Miguel's. Desmond wants a boyfriend even if he isn't quite ready for one.
He knows that dating Miguel, twenty-two, an active duty soldier, and one of his students, is beyond foolish, but not doing it seems like it would be an even bigger mistake.
What happens when an impulsive encounter with the wrong man leads to a second date?
This short story is a follow up to "The Professor and The Soldier" but can be read as a stand alone.
Falling in Bed
Eighteen year old Cade doesn't remember passing out at the housewarming party, but the room had been full of straight firemen. With that much eye candy and no chance of finally finding a man to kiss, alcohol had seemed like the obvious solution.
In the dark Cade finally feels the another man's hands where only his own have been before, but the harsh light of morning reveals that his lover is the last man he would have expected, and Cade will have to maneuver quickly to keep his world from crashing down around him.
How could something that felt so right have turned out to be so wrong, and, more importantly, is there any way he can justify making the same mistake again?
About the Author
B.J. Totts is a shameless romantic. When not staring at clouds and making up stories about them, B.J. tends to people watch and do the same.
Additional Information About This Story
This story has also been released on Amazon as a straight, steamy, Western romance under the title “The Wrong Cowboy”. This version is available for a limited time here.
Uploaded by [RAL] [BЯ]