‘It’s just, musically, I’m actually pretty pleased with how it came out; it’s got all this energy. And there’s nothing else like it out there, is there?’
‘Why do you think that is?’ said Tony.
A vision of Lacey and Savannah, swinging up the corridor ahead of me, comparing selfies.
‘I’ll tell you why – it’s because people are afraid to have an opinion. Everyone plays it safe all the time, so no one ever gets upset and everything sells to the maximum number of people. And you know what, OK, maybe this has annoyed some dorky Karamel fans. But so what? I believe in my lyrics.’
‘I see,’ said Tony.
‘Great!’ I said.
‘Mmm,’ said Adrian.
‘Isn’t Katie something?’ said Dad. ‘I wish I could say she’d got it from me.’ He grinned around the room. ‘I mean, I’m a musician myself, so in a sense, she did.’
‘Is that right?’ said Tony, distantly.
‘Session work, for the last few years, you know how it is.’
‘Uh huh.’
‘In fact, if you ever need anyone, for anything . . .’
‘Sure,’ said Tony.
Dad was reaching round the back of the sofa for a guitar. ‘Happy to give you a quick demo now, if you’d like. Or I can ping you a link, whatever’s easier.’
‘Um, Benjamin, mate, I think he’s here for Katie,’ said Adrian.
‘It’s fine,’ I said. ‘Dad’s an amazing musician. You should totally listen to his stuff.’
Tony held up his hands. ‘All right! I will!’
Dad relaxed back into his chair.
‘So,’ said Tony. ‘Just for the record, Katie, I am asking you, one final time, to write a different song. Something positive. Will you do that?’
‘But . . .’
‘You said, just now, how nice it was to feel loved. Do you really want to put out a song that’s all about hate?’
And for a second, I did think, maybe this man has a point. I mean, he was the head of a massive record label with all this experience, and there were a lot of Karamel fans. Perhaps, I could maybe have a go at writing something else. If not about partying all night then maybe about . . . cats . . . ?
That would make Lacey happy too. A song about cats, or dancing, or my awesome friends; it would have me back in everyone’s good books. I could be BFFs with Lacey and mates with Savannah and Sofie and Paige and maybe we’d all ride around in a pink limo and I could wear tight clothes and love Karamel like everybody else. Top Music would write my songs and Savannah would pick my clothes and I’d go on a diet and . . .
‘No,’ I said. ‘My next single is “Can’t Stand the Boy Band”. Exactly as I recorded it in my room.’
He got to his feet. ‘All right then. I will do my very best to sell it.’
‘Thank you,’ I said, sort of in shock. Had I really won?
‘Good luck, Katie.’
‘Thanks! See you soon, Tony.’
And then he was out the door and the big black car was sliding away, leaving me and Adrian staring at each other.
‘I hope you know what you’re doing,’ said Adrian.
‘Can you give me Tony’s email address?’ said Dad.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Tea that night should have been brilliant, what with having everyone round the table together.
Should have been, but wasn’t.
Mum was shooting evils at me and Dad.
Amanda was ignoring Dad and shooting evils at me.
Adrian was giving me worried looks.
I was sending love vibes to Dad and trying to avoid Mum, Adrian and Manda altogether. It was doing terrible things to my digestion.
‘Can I go up to my room?’ I asked. ‘I need to get ready for Lacey.’
Mum looked up. ‘Lacey?’
‘It’s my birthday dance party,’ I said. ‘My belated birthday dance party.’
‘Right,’ said Amanda, in a way that made it clear she wasn’t planning on joining us. ‘Have fun.’
‘Will do!’ I said.
And then, because while I probably could have managed one more fajita, it might not have mixed well with the shapes I was planning to throw, I excused myself and went upstairs to prepare the dance floor.
One look down and I decided to give up. We could dance on top of the mess.
Instead, I lay on my bed, and waited for the doorbell.
And waited.
But it was nice to have a bit of me time. Get some headspace. Think about the last twenty-four hours.
Think about my new song. Think about what I’d done.
What had I done?
I decided that I wouldn’t think about it.
My thumb went to my phone and hovered over Lacey’s face.
What time R U coming? ☺ K x
Soz forgot. Am at Paige’s. Come over!
We r doing eyebrows and U r totally invited xx
Oh.
So much for my birthday dance party.
So much for best friendship.
Not only had she now doubly abandoned my birthday celebrations, she was leaving me alone in my hour of need! My song was out there, doing its thing, and I was desperate for a bit of wisdom. Not a trip to Paige’s house and an attack on my facial hair.
Which is when it hit me that Lacey was the worst possible person to help me face all this stuff. She would tell me to get rid of ‘Can’t Stand the Boy Band’. She’d probably even bring me a Karamel poster to stick over my bed.
There was another option, though. If I was feeling brave.
And, yeah. Why not?
Maybe don’t think about that, either.
The reply came through almost before I’d hit send.
On my way
Jazzzzz x
Twenty minutes later, and Jaz was propped up against my bed with my laptop open. She’d made herself very much at home, stuffing my pillow into the small of her back and resting her muddy platform boots right in the centre of Amanda’s face towel.
I remembered the last time she’d been in my room, with most of my family, and the impromptu jamming session that had lead to the release of ‘Just Me’, and locked the door.
‘Have you gone to see the fallout yet?’
‘I’m too . . .’ I wanted to say that I was scared. But Jaz didn’t need to hear that. So I just said, ‘No. Not yet. Been quite busy.’
‘OK then. Here we go.’
She typed my name, and whistled.
I pulled my jumper over my head, even though I could hear Mum’s voice telling me that I was going to ruin it. Then, from inside my woolly tent, ‘Is it bad? It’s bad, isn’t it? I’ve really upset people. Oh please don’t let me get trolled, I can’t bear it. Let’s ring Tony and get him to take it down.’
‘Katie, look.’
‘I just . . . I don’t know what I was thinking. Yes, I do. I was upset at Lacey and this was my way of getting back at her. But it’s immature, it’s . . .’
‘Wow.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be,’ said Jaz. ‘Really, look.’
I stuck my nose out, and then one eye. And . . .
LOVE IT.
Finally someone is telling the TRUTH
Stand up for real music!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she haz such a nice voice I luv her
will u follow me Katy I am yr biggest fan
go 2 my site for KATIE COX CLIPS music wallpaper and MORE
Bet Kristian is first one to leave lol
‘They like it,’ said Jaz. ‘The people of the internet are on your side. Well, not the Karamel fans – you’re going to have to steer clear of them. Stay in your bubble.’
‘My bubble?’
‘You know,’ said Jaz. ‘Your corner. The Katie zone. Friends and fans and stuff.’
‘They honestly like it?’
‘They think you rock.’
I looked. And, mad though it seemed, clearly, they did.
‘That’s unbelievable,’ I said. ‘I
am in actual shock.’
‘I don’t get you, Katie,’ said Jaz. ‘I don’t get you at all.’
Now this, coming as it did from the world’s least gettable person, was a little on the surprising side.
‘What don’t you get?’ I said, letting my other eye come out from under my jumper. And then the rest of me, because being half in and half out of a jumper is both difficult and uncomfortable.
‘You write a song because you have something to say. And then, when people start agreeing, you’re all, “really?” For the sake of your dignity, Katie, at least try to own it.’
Which stung.
‘What should I do?’ I said. ‘If I’m going to, um, own it?’
‘What do you want to do?’ asked Jaz.
‘Er, nothing?’
Wrong answer.
‘How’s this?’ said Jaz, her black nails tapping at the keyboard.
‘What? What did you put?’ I leaned around her.
KTCoX: Hey Kurt_Karamel thnkx for posting my song. So nice of u ;) xox
‘What? Don’t say that! Jaz, what is wrong with you? You’re out of control.’
She gave me one of her looks, and as she did, I considered how a message like this would look, to the world.
It would look as though I was kind of crazy.
And cheeky.
And confident.
And cool.
This, I realized, was why I’d invited Jaz over. She went to delete the words, and I held her arm. ‘Actually, yeah, say that.’
She pressed return, and there it was.
I’d said it.
My insides did a little whoosh.
‘I mean, it’s not like he’ll see,’ I said, as much to myself as to her. ‘He must have a squillion messages a minute, he’s hardly going to—’
‘He’s replied,’ said Jaz. ‘Freak to the beat – Kurt from Karamel has REPLIED.’
Kurt_Karamel: Thought you were better than this.
We looked at each other, and I became aware that we were both squealing. I mean, not in a girly way, that’s not really me, and it’s certainly not Jaz. But if you had to pick a word to describe the noise we were making, the word would be ‘squeal’.
Even as we were still making faces, my hands were on my laptop and this time I didn’t stop until I’d hit return.
KTCoX: I like real music. Not yr soppy plastic gunk.
My eyes were dancing, while my head filled with this buzzing sound, and . . . no, it was my phone. My phone was buzzing.
‘Lacey?’ I felt a little kick of unhappiness. ‘Aren’t you busy tonight?’
‘What are you doing?’
‘Just hanging out with Jaz. Doing a bit of messaging. You know.’
‘Leave Kurt ALONE.’
An hour ago she was too wrapped up with Paige and co. to talk to me. Now, though, now she was interested.
‘Gosh, Lacey,’ I said. ‘Poor Kurt. I bet he’s crying into his Karamel pillowcase.’
‘He’s a sensitive, kind, real person, Katie.’
‘No, he’s not. He’s a famous person. They are not sensitive or kind. Everyone knows that famous people are selfish and annoying.’
‘You’re pretty famous,’ said Lacey.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
A thump, followed by a flurry of giggles. ‘Paige! I am trying to talk to Katie. This is important! Stop it. Stop it!’
Were they having a pillow fight? Life in the Savannah set seemed to be one long tampon advert.
‘Come on, Lace,’ I said. ‘He’s not a person like, say –’ I tried to think of a person – ‘um . . . Dominic Preston. And I couldn’t care less about his pathetic fans.’
‘Katie, you are . . .’ Lacey searched around for the word, and I heard another thump, and then she hung up.
While I’d been wasting time with the new Savannah Mini Me, he’d come back for more.
Kurt_Karamel: My music means a lot to me. I write from the ♥
My fingers raced across the keys, trying to keep up with my brain.
KTCoX: U write to make money7. From girls who don’t know better
‘Shame about the 7,’ said Jaz.
Kurt_Karamel: Coming from the new Justin Bieber
‘WHAT? I am not! Bieber is . . . I am NOT A BIEBER.’
‘You did get famous by recording a video in your bedroom which then went viral and . . .’ began Jaz, before seeing my face. ‘No. Of course you’re not.’
KTCoX: At least Im not a manufactured band who plays music writne in confrence rooms by middle aged men unlike SOMONE.
Kurt_Karamel: I don’t need to defend my music to you.
KTCoX: Like you can call it music. U are the enemy of good music.
I hit return, then realized I hadn’t finished.
People like u are—
Only, Jaz’s hand was on top of mine. ‘Shall we stop a minute?’
‘What? Why? I was just getting going.’
‘Yeah. I think you need to calm down,’ said Jaz.
‘I am perfectly calm, thank you very much.’ I mean, I was breathing a bit heavily, and one of my legs had started twitching of its own accord, but, let’s be clear, I was in full control of the situation. ‘He’s an idiot!’
‘Yes. But –’ Jaz considered my duvet cover – ‘it’s a bad idea to do this sort of thing when you’re worked up. Hey, let’s go through your sister’s stuff instead.’ Then, next thing I knew, she’d closed the laptop and was opening up Amanda’s top drawer and laying out its contents on the bed.
‘Um, I don’t know if that’s a good idea,’ I said, trying to drag my head out of the sharp, shiny world inside my screen and into real life again. ‘Mands is a total neat freak; she’ll kill me if she thinks I’ve messed up her stuff.’
‘And that affects me how?’ said Jaz. ‘Where’s the juice?’
‘Amanda doesn’t have any juice,’ I told her, as Jaz chucked a load of socks down on to the floor, where they were immediately sucked into the swamp. ‘She’s even less exciting than I am. You should probably put those back.’
‘OK, I’m over this now,’ said Jaz, who didn’t seem in any hurry to put anything away. ‘Shall I see if Nicole’s about? She’s been saying she wants to get her bellybutton pierced.’
‘It’s too late,’ I said. ‘Nowhere will be open.’
‘Pierced by me,’ said Jaz. ‘You can watch, if you want. Take photos.’
‘No thank you, Jaz,’ I said, prising open my laptop. My life was complicated enough without Nicole’s bellybutton bleeding all over it. ‘I want to get back to Kurt.’
‘Nah,’ said Jaz, nudging it shut. ‘You’ve done enough. Leave it now.’
‘Seriously, I don’t mind upsetting him. He deserves it. For crimes against the top one hundred.’
And now my heart was thumping, bang, bang, bang . . . no, it was my bedroom door. My door was thumping.
‘KATIE. KATIE. KATIE.’
‘What?’
‘I’ve got to get up early for work tomorrow,’ said my sister’s voice. ‘So I would quite like some sleep.’
And even I could see that denying Manda access to her bed would lead to the kind of conversation I could do without.
‘Maybe we should stop for the night,’ I told Jaz. ‘Thanks, though.’
‘For what? I didn’t do anything. That was all you.’
‘Well, thanks anyway.’
I unlocked the door, and there was Amanda. I smiled at her, but her face, it was not smiling back. It was doing the very opposite of smiling, in fact.
‘What the—’
We looked at the contents of her drawers, spread all over everything.
‘You do not touch my stuff,’ said Amanda, slowly, sounding sad and angry at the same time.
‘I didn’t mean—’
‘See ya, then,’ said Jaz, flitting past her, down the stairs and out the front door.
‘I thought we were doing OK, sharing,’ said Mands. ‘I trusted you. And now I find you g
oing through my personal things, with Jaz, of all people . . .’
‘Mands, it wasn’t me; it was all her. She just started rummaging – there was nothing I could do.’
Amanda was shovelling her stuff out of my reach. ‘Fine.’
And I wanted to tell her what had just happened. I wanted, no, needed, to talk to her, to work out whether any of this was OK. In fact—
‘Katie, shut your laptop and go to sleep.’
And in case I was still in any doubt about her feelings, she turned out the light.
My World
Life is better
In my phone
While it’s on
I’m not alone
In my laptop
Feels more real
My fingers talk
Say what I feel
Won’t turn it off
Don’t think I can
It’s part of life
It’s who I am
It’s brighter there
I’m better there
Words that float so pure and free
I can be who I want to be
In a sharp and shiny
Lit-up world
That made itself for me
My screen won’t tell me
I’m too young
It reads my words
Hears what I’ve sung
Yeah, those strangers aren’t my friends
Only care when my name trends
But there the party never ends
Never ends
It’s brighter there
We’re better there
Words that float so pure and free
I can be who I want to be
In a sharp and shiny
Lit-up world
That made itself for me
Yeah, tonight has been bizarre
Taking down a proper star
I guess maybe I’ve gone too far
Gone too far
But
It’s brighter there
We’re better there
Words that float so pure and free
I can be who I want to be
In a sharp and shiny
Lit-up world
Face the Music Page 7