by Brent, Amy
Relief flooded my veins when Brody hunkered down in bed with a smile on his face, but I didn’t know what to think. Had I just lied to my son again? I had made him believe that Tyler might want to have something to do with his life, but all the evidence pointed to the contrary.
I bent forward and kissed Brody on his cheeks, then his nose, and then his forehead, just like I had every night since he was a little boy.
“We gotta teach that to Daddy,” he said.
My heart dropped to my toes as I reached over and turned out the light.
Just as I shut Brody’s bedroom door behind me, I heard my phone ring. I ran faster than I ever had in my life to get to that damn thing. I skidded across the floor and ran into the edge of the couch, then fell over onto the cushions with my hand outstretched.
Tyler was calling.
Holy shit, he was finally calling.
“Hello?” I asked. I tried to catch my breath as I turned over onto my back.
“Ana, it’s me.”
“Hey, Tyler. I, um—I’ve been trying to get in touch with you.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve had tests and client emergencies the past few days.”
I wanted to ask him if work was always going to get in the way of his son, but I held my tongue.
“Well, I hope everything’s okay,” I said.
“Listen, I know things didn’t go well at Gianno’s, but could we get together and talk tomorrow?”
“Uh, sure. Yeah. If you want. Do you want me to bring Brody? I’m sure he’d love to see you.”
“No. Don’t bring Brody. We need to talk.”
I closed my eyes and let out a silent sigh. Another no for his one and only son. This wasn’t turning out well at all.
“Yeah. Okay. I’ll get my parents to watch him then.”
“Could you meet me at our place behind the Hollywood sign tomorrow? Around six?”
“You want to meet there?”
“I do. Please, Ana?”
I sat up on the couch as the trembling of my hand rattled the phone against my ear.
“Okay. Sure. I’ll see you then.”
“Great. See you at six tomorrow.”
“Talk to you then, Tyler.”
“See you soon, Ana.”
Tyler
“Fuck. Tyler, your cock. It’s incredible.”
“You move so perfectly. Swivel those hips, Ana. Oh, shit.”
I gripped the excess of her thighs as she threaded her arms around my neck and slowly swirled her hips. I fucking loved it when she did that. Her pussy gripped me tightly and her juices fell onto my skin. They soaked my thighs and coated my balls as I thrust up into her tightness.
She looked so perfect. Her hair was mussed as my fist wound into its tendrils. Her lips were all swollen and red from sucking on my cock. Her throat was marked with the indentations of my teeth. Her tits were covered in welts I had nibbled onto her skin.
She was mine. Every ounce of her was mine.
I moved and she fell onto her back. I hooked her legs around my arms, bending her luscious body in half. Her eyes bulged as I fucked her senseless. Her tits bounced in my face and her hands curled into the strength of my arms.
“Tyler! Yes! Oh, shit!”
“That’s it. Squeeze that cock. Let me feel that tight pussy, Ana.”
She pulled me in deep. Her fluids sprayed my skin. My face fell to her voluptuous tits, and I molded myself to her. She was an endless pool of desire and lust, and my cock pulsed for her. Only for her. It leaked precum into her tight, wet cavern as she milked me dry. She panted, her hot breath in the crook of my neck. I pounded into her and felt her jiggle against me as her legs began to tighten.
“So close. So close. So close.”
She chanted her whispers of salacious desire as her walls tightened around my cock. Sweat dripped down my brow. I crashed my lips against hers and raked my teeth across her lower lip.
“I love you. I love you, Ana. Oh, shit. I’m gonna come.”
“Come inside me, Tyler. Mark me. Make me yours.”
My eyes burst wide open.
Throwing the covers back, I surveyed the damage. My dick throbbed as threads of cum coated my naked stomach. Fuck. The dream had felt so real. I could still hear her voice echoing off the corners of my mind. I forced myself up from the pillow and placed my feet on the floor.
I needed a fucking shower.
Steam from the hot water filled the room as I stepped in. The waterfall shower head poured water down my skin as my cock hung thickly between my legs. I washed my hair and ran conditioner through it, trying to rid my mind of the dream, trying to right my mind for the day ahead.
Trying to prepare myself for this evening.
No matter what I did, however, my cock wouldn’t shrink. Ana’s moans wouldn’t go away. And if I concentrated, her smell surrounded my head. It was as if she were there in the shower with me, and suddenly my cock grew back to life. My balls hung low with the need to release.
And her body appeared next to me in the shower.
“Come here and let me take care of that.”
She whispered into my ear as my back fell against the tiled walls of my shower. I closed my eyes and conjured her memory as I wrapped my hand around my cock. In my mind’s eye, she sank to her knees, nuzzled my angry, red cock with her nose. She looked beautiful on her knees for me, looking up with those innocent, round eyes. I fisted her hair and guided her lips over the tip of my dick, feeling her tongue swirl around it.
“Fuck, Ana,” I groaned.
She bobbed her head up and down as I touched the back of her throat. She pinned me to the wall, rendering me immobile as her lips grew red. They swelled with their efforts. I stroked my cock harder, thrusting into my hand as my legs trembled and contracted. My toes curled into the wet shower floor as my head fell back against the wall.
“Ana. Oh, don’t stop. That mouth. It’s perfect.”
“You’re perfect for me,” she said.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full, sweet girl.”
She moaned around my cock, and I was ready to explode. Her curves. Her tits. They pressed into my legs as I spread myself for her. My hips rocketed forward, stuffing my cock down her throat as I squeezed my eyes shut. I wasn’t ready to give her up, even if it was just a memory, just a dream.
Just a fantasy.
“Ana! Fuck!”
My legs convulsed and my cock pulsed in the palm of my hand. Thick threads of hot cum pumped from my tip, shooting across the shower and painting the frosted glass. My eyes fluttered open as my body continued its assault, emptying my balls as I stood there, wishing Ana was really with me. I slid to the floor as my legs gave out from underneath me, and as I closed my eyes, I heard Ana’s sweet voice on the shell of my ear.
“I love you, Tyler.”
I wanted to believe her. I wanted to know it was true. My cock dwindled in my hand as euphoria rushed through my veins. Water poured on top of me, washing the conditioner out of my hair and coating my body in cleanliness.
Today was the day, and I had no idea how things were going to go.
Picking myself up off the floor, I turned off the water. I had to prepare myself for the work day ahead and for the evening to come with Ana. I was nervous about our meeting, about seeing her for the first time since she’d broken the news to me in Gianno’s.
I loved her. I loved that woman with every fiber of my being. But my confusion and my hurt overrode everything else. I had thrust myself into work, trying to knock out all sorts of things before I emerged to talk with her.
Because I really wanted to meet my son. I wanted to kneel in front of him, take in him my arms, and spend the entire week getting to know him.
All of it hinged on how things went between Ana and I tonight, though, on my ability to convince her that I could be a good father. It all also hinged on my ability to work through the pain I was experiencing. How could she have hidden something like this from me? How could she have possib
ly thought this was the right answer? Yes, we had fought. We’d been eighteen, and kids fought all the time. I had loved her. I still loved her. And she had loved me.
According to her, she still loved me.
But someone who really loved someone else didn’t keep such important news to themselves. So, if love wasn’t the issue, then trust was. And that bothered me more than anything else. I knew that woman inside and out. Even after all these years, I was confident I still knew her.
How in the world could she not have trusted me with something like this?
Ana
I stepped out of my car and saw Tyler gazing out over the city. The lights of the Hollywood sign lit up his features, igniting the world around him while his silhouette stood out amid the light. I held my breath for a second and took him in, took in the peace that seemed to have fallen over his body. His hands were clasped behind his back. His hair was neatly parted. His suit was tailored to his body.
He looked phenomenal.
But he didn’t look approachable.
He turned his head toward me and smiled, but his eyes held something much different. There wasn’t happiness in his features, but weariness. Like he hadn’t slept at all the past few days. It broke my heart. I had done this to him. I had to done this to my son. I had done this to our family. My goal to be the best mother possible had devolved into being the worst one imaginable.
And I didn’t know how to fix it.
“Thank you for meeting me, Ana.”
“Of course, Tyler.”
“Come. Stand by me.”
I walked over to his side, my hands shaking with nerves. The wind bellowed out my dress as my flip-flops clicked along the dirt foundation of our spot. Memories assaulted me from all directions: losing my virginity to him, hearing him say he loved me after all these years, orgasm after orgasm.
All those phantom feelings rushed over me, and the back of my neck warmed as he turned his gaze to the profile of my face.
“What is Brody like?” he asked.
I looked over at him and furrowed my brow.
“You brought me all the way out here to ask me that question?” I asked.
“Is he a good kid?”
I’d had no idea what to expect from this meeting, but it hadn’t been this. Part of me had wondered if I had fucked everything up. If I had made it impossible for us to be the family I knew we could be. But his question gave me pause. If he wanted to know about his son, did that mean he would be in our lives? In Brody’s life?
Did this mean we could be a family?
“He’s the greatest kid, Tyler. You’d really like him,” I said.
“How does he do in school?” he asked.
“He aces all his classes, always—like you did in high school. He’s wickedly smart. His teachers are thinking about pushing him up a grade just to challenge him a bit.”
“What’s his favorite subject?”
“All of them,” I said, giggling.
A small smile spread across Tyler’s cheeks, but it faded away as quickly as it had come. There was an immense sadness in his eyes. It was the same sadness I had seen in Brody’s stare the night before.
Holy hell, I was the worst.
“Does he play any sports?”
“Football and soccer of course.”
“Really?” Tyler asked.
“Really. And he loves them both. My dad wants him to learn baseball, but he’s got his two sports already. Football in the fall and soccer in the summer.”
“He’s got long legs. I bet he’s a good runner.”
“Faster than I’ve ever seen. He might even be faster than you.”
“Oh, I’d like to test that,” he said.
“I hope you do.”
His eyes fell to mine before he turned back to the Hollywood sign. Like he would rather stare out there than at me.
“Does he like to read or anything?” Tyler asked.
“Oh, yeah. He’s got my love of books. He’s the only kid I know who isn’t complaining yet about summer reading.”
“Does he have a favorite book?”
“Not that I know of so far, but he does enjoy humorous books. Silly ones that make him laugh.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Tyler?”
“Mmhm?”
“Are you going to look at me while we talk?” I asked.
He clenched his jaw before he swallowed deeply.
“I don’t know,” he said.
“Why not?”
“Honestly?”
“Please.”
“It makes me angry to look at you.”
My heart shattered into a million pieces at my feet.
“I had no right to yell at you the way I did, but I don’t take back what I said. You took a very important decision away from me, and because of it I’ve missed out on eight solid years of my son’s life.”
“I’m sorry, Tyler. I swear to you, I thought I was doing it in everyone’s best interest.”
“It’s fine if you think that, but you weren’t,” he said.
He turned his eyes to me, and I held my breath.
“You were doing it in the best interest of yourself. You were upset at something I had said, and in the midst of our fight you decided that raising a child on your own was better than raising a child with a guy who might have just broken up with you.”
“I was eighteen and scared, Tyler. You had your entire life ahead of you. I fucked up. I’m not saying I didn’t. What I am saying is that I didn’t keep Brody from you out of malice. I really, truly thought that if I told you I was pregnant, you’d stay behind, and then you would resent us for that. You’d resent going to law school in L.A. only because I had gotten pregnant. You’d resent having a child with me because it would have kept you from going to Harvard.
“And the more I thought about it that day, the more I feared that you would grow to resent our child for altering the life you had imagined for yourself. Because like I said, we were eighteen. The two of us were both selfish with our lives, like most eighteen-year-olds are. In the moment, and throughout that day, I thought it would be better this way for all parties involved. That’s why I made the decision, because I thought I was doing what was best for everyone.”
He turned his gaze back to the skyline, and I followed his movements. I didn’t know what else to say. I had nothing else to say, really.
“Brody’s a good kid, Tyler. And every day that passes, he becomes more like you. In the way he looks and moves. Even in the way he laughs. My parents tease me sometimes about how it was a good thing I carried him; otherwise no one would know who his mother was.”
“So your parents know,” he said.
I closed my eyes and sighed heavily.
“Yes, they know. So does Kristi.”
“So they all knew and I didn’t.”
I had no idea how to fix any of this.
“Brody does have a shy side, though. I’m not really sure who he gets that from.”
“You,” Tyler said.
“What?”
“He gets that from you. You aren’t shy now, but you were very shy back in high school,” he said.
“I guess you’re right. He gets all his good traits from you.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Downplay the traits he has from you. He’s strong, like you. Happy, like you. Confident, like you.”
“He could have gotten those from you.”
“He didn’t. He got them from you,” he said.
“I told him about you last night.”
That got Tyler’s attention. He whipped his head over to take me in again.
“You did?”
“I did. I made myself a promise when I had Brody that I would never lie to him. If he asked me a question, I’d never withhold the truth. And when I introduced him to you in the sandwich shop, I lied to my son for the first time, and it almost made me sick.”
“What did he say?” he
asked.
“He mostly wanted to know what you were like, why you weren’t there to tuck him in.”
“What did you tell him?”
“That sometimes the best surprises take time to process, like my father with his surprise birthday party last year.”
“Surprise birthday party?”
“We jumped out to surprise him and almost gave him a heart attack, literally. It took him a little while to recuperate before he enjoyed himself. I used that analogy to describe to Brody what was going on, that you had found out about him and you were taking time to process the surprise before coming back to enjoy the best thing that had ever happened to you.”
“That’s—actually a really good analogy.”
“Don’t sound so shocked,” I said flatly.
“I didn’t mean it the way it came out.”
I bit my tongue to keep from spouting back. We didn’t need any more fighting. We needed a united front.
“So, he’s shy. What else?” Tyler asked.
“He’s curious about the world around him, always exploring and digging in the dirt and asking questions.”
“Like his father,” he said, grinning.
“Oh, yeah, like his father. I’m telling you, he’s your carbon copy. I haven’t been able to escape you at all.”
“Did you want to?”
Those four words were filled with all the sadness the world had to offer.
“No. But I knew I had to so you could make the life you’d always wanted. Even if I hadn’t been pregnant, I still would have done anything to make sure you went to Harvard. That was what you were destined for. You and I both know it.”
“Not at the expense of not knowing my son, Ana.”
“You can still know him,” I said.
“I do want to meet him.”
“Good, because he wants to meet you, too. He’s been asking questions about you lately, and he’s ecstatic that you’re in town.”
“He really wants to meet me?”
“Oh, yes. He really does. He’s intelligent. Maybe a little too intelligent. He’s beginning to realize that most kids have daddies and he doesn’t. He wants one. I can see it in his eyes.”
“I can’t imagine how hard that must’ve been on you.”