“Speaking of falling in love.” Nina sat down at the bar, her perfect nose crinkling.
“When were we speaking of falling in love?” I tipped my head. She always did this to me.
“We are now.” She slapped the counter and I bit back my smile, reaching for a short glass and popping the cap off her favorite bottle of whisky.
She took the glass with a little smile and raised it in the air before taking a delicate sip. “When are you going to stop collecting all these random phone numbers and actually start dating a girl, Cole Reynolds?”
“I date.”
“No, you don't; you charm, you swoon, you sleep with and then you don't commit.”
“Hey, I don't sleep around like that, okay?”
“You're telling me you haven't had sex with any of the girls who practically throw their phone numbers at you?”
“That's not what I'm saying either.”
“Then what are you saying?” Malachi slipped into the seat beside his wife and tapped the counter.
With a scowl, I pulled up another glass and slapped it down. “You're making me sound like a jerk.”
Malachi chuckled while I filled his glass a third of the way with the amber liquid.
Nina took another sip and placed her glass down with a grin. “You're not a jerk, Cole. You are a gorgeous guy that girls fall all over themselves to get to. I'm just wondering when one of them will actually get under your skin.”
“I don't know if one ever will.” I shrugged, hating this conversation. I had plans, and a committed relationship was certainly not on the agenda.
“What? You don't want to fall in love and have babies?” Malachi looked incredulous. “You'd be such a great father.”
“I'm twenty-one. Are we really having the parenthood discussion right now?” I put the bottle away and turned back to face them.
“We're not saying we want you to be a father now, we're just wondering if it's a dream you have for the future.” Nina's eyes sparkled.
I pressed my arms against the bar and got in her face. “You know the only dream I have for my future is to own a pub like this. I want to give indie bands a place to play, and people a place to dance, sing, and have a little fun in. Your gig here is awesome and I want to do it too. I got one year left until I graduate, and then I can focus all my attention on making it happen.”
“You gonna be my competition, Boy-o?”
I chuckled. “You know I'm gonna set it up on the South Side. I could cater to all the college students. There's nothing like that for us near campus. It'd become like a student watering hole.”
“An alcohol-free one?” Malachi's bushy eyebrows rose.
I looked him straight in the eye. Blue on blue. It was always the best way to have a serious conversation with him. “If I need it to be, I will. Students will come for the music and the cheap food, not the booze.”
“Highly unlikely,” Malachi scoffed.
“I love your dream.” Nina ran her hand over my messy curls. “You remind me so much of what Malachi was like when I first met him. He had such grand plans.”
I shifted away from her, my back cramping from leaning forward so far. I crossed my arms over my chest and nodded. “See? And he made them happen.”
“No.” Nina shook her head. “We made them happen. Together.” She caught Malachi's eye, and they shared one of those moments, both their expressions turning mushy.
“I can tell you, boy, it's a lot more fun that way,” Malachi stated. “You have someone to stress with. Someone to celebrate with...and then of course there's the sex-breaks.” His cheeky grin accompanied Nina's gasp. “Oh you know you loved it, you little minx.”
“Malachi Quigg, if you ever want sex again you will stop talking right now.” She gave him a stern frown, hampered with giggles, before draining her glass and passing it back to me.
I took it with a laugh, holding out my free hand for Malachi's. “I know one day I'll probably fall in love with a very nice woman and we'll be happy together, but I just can't imagine wanting that more than my plans right now. I don't know if everyone finds their soul mate like you two did. I think there are many contented, happy couples in the world, and I think it's possible to love lots of different people.”
Nina's nose wrinkled.
“Come on.” I spread my arms wide. “I kind of like the idea that if my spouse died, I'd have the chance to fall in love with someone else.”
“Okay, fair point. You might never find your soul mate, but you can't dance with a bar, and a bar will never wrap its arms around you and make you feel more loved than anything else ever can.”
Nina's green eyes bored into me and I had to concede. You could dance on a bar, but it certainly wouldn't be kissing you goodnight.
“I'm not going to stop praying for you, kid. I want you to find that girl. I want you to build your dreams together.”
“You do that, Nina.” I forced a small grin.
“Oh I will.” Jumping down from the bar, she blew me a kiss and headed for the stairwell. “I'm gonna go check on Frankie. You have a good day tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I better get going. My first class is at eight-thirty.”
She stopped at the door, pride shining in her expression. “Good luck. And say hi to David for us. Tell him he has to stop by for a meal.”
“Will do.” I waved them goodbye and slipped out the back, hearing Malachi lock the door behind me. The evening air felt fresh on my face. Man, I loved this time of night. The city still had a buzz to it, but it was softer and less intrusive.
I caught a cab easily and was soon handing over my cash and taking the stairs two at a time to my dorm room.
I couldn't stop thinking about what Nina had said. The whole falling-in-love thing irked me. I didn't want to need it. I didn't want to see how happy my foster parents were together and then yearn for the same thing. I'd been on my own since I was ten, fending for myself; I was used to it. But Nina and Malachi had really picked away at my barriers. When I'd first arrived on their doorstep, I was a messed-up fourteen-year-old, and the first thing to really break through my stone wall was the loving way they treated each other. The way they laughed together, danced together, sang around each other as they cleaned up the bar. Or the way Malachi would sometimes just sit there, watching his wife. She was oblivious to his gaze in spite of the love emanating from it. I couldn't help wondering what that felt like.
I opened the door quietly, knowing David would already be asleep. He'd moved in with me my sophomore year and swiftly become my best friend on campus. He was a good guy—intelligent, funny, easy to be around—but he was also super-studious and got a little pissy with my work hours sometimes.
I crept past his door, wondering if his girlfriend was nestled up beside him. I knew she was arriving today, and I knew he couldn't wait to introduce me. For the life of me, I could not remember her name. Sneaking over to the bulletin board above his desk, I shifted aside the class schedules and study plans, finally unearthing a picture of her.
She had a broad, yet tentative, smile. She was tucked under David's arm as he beamed at the camera. Maybe having a long-term girlfriend was a good thing. I mean, these guys had made it work long-distance for two years; that had to say something about how awesome it could be. I dropped the papers, covering up the image, and shook my head. I just didn't see the point of continually hanging out with a girl who didn't set my insides on fire. I wanted to be inspired. There was no way I wanted to settle.
Sure, I didn't believe in soul mates, but I also didn't believe in being with someone who bored me to tears. What was the point? I'd rather be single.
Dragging my tired ass toward the bed, I knew I should probably have been collecting my stuff and taking a shower, but I couldn't be bothered. I squinted at my watch, setting the alarm for 5:30 a.m.; I'd beat the early rush that way and still have plenty of time to get my stuff organized for the week ahead.
I kicked off my shoes, punched the pillow beneath my head and shuffl
ed around until I was comfy. A slow smile spread across my lips. Tomorrow was the first day of my senior year. In less than a year, I'd be a free agent and then I could really start making my dreams come true.
CHAPTER FOUR
ELLA
I didn't need an alarm to wake me; I had barely slept and by five, I'd given up. My dreams had been stuffed full of worries, my mind racing from one weird scenario to another. Nerves were doing my stomach in, making me feel nauseated, and I felt immature and stupid for being such a wreck. I'd already done a year in college for crying out loud; what the hell was my problem?
I guess I was just nervous about screwing up. What if I got lost? What if I missed a class? What if...what if...what if.
“Arrggggh! Stop it, Ella! You're gonna drive yourself insane,” I whispered into the darkness.
Flinging back the covers, I checked my watch again.
5:28 a.m.
I couldn't lay in bed for one more second. Turning on my lamp, I squinted against the sudden brightness and shuffled about the room. I heard Morgan creep in sometime around ten last night but didn't get up to say hi. I didn't want to talk, and Morgan always siphoned stuff out of me. She had the uncanny ability to get the truth out of people. She should be training to be an interrogator, not spending her days studying some vague business degree that gave her plenty of options and no real direction.
Pulling on my sweats, I grabbed my fluffy, yellow towel and my toiletries. This early, I should definitely miss the shower rush.
I was right.
A smile stretched my lips wide as I flicked on the lights and walked past empty stall after empty stall. I stopped at the very end one, arranging my stuff and feeling better by the second. I loved showers; they always calmed me. It was my own private time away from the world. It was weird not having a locked door, and it was weird to think that someone might walk in at any moment, but for now, I felt safe.
Flicking on the shower, I let the water heat while I undressed, a tune already working its way from my voice box. I only ever sang in private, and the shower head was my ultimate microphone. I had toyed with the idea of singing in public once; not for the spotlight or anything, just for the opportunity to sing. I really did love it, but I couldn't imagine ever having the guts to go through with it. Singing in front of an audience? Kill me now! I'd be so petrified.
Besides, every note I sang was peppered with an eerie feeling of melancholy. It wasn't enough for me to stop singing, but it was enough for me to never want to show it to a crowd. No, I sang for me and me alone. Anyway, the kind of music that really set my soul on fire was hardly considered cool. Jody and Morgan were the only ones who knew about my love affair with jazz music, and if I had any say in it, they’d be the only ones who ever did.
A memory skittered through my brain and I winced.
“What are you doing?” David appeared behind me, pressing his hand against the wall and boxing me in as I read the Pasadena High Jazz Club audition notice. They were looking for a couple of backup singers.
I shrugged, trying to ignore his derogatory tone. “I was just looking.”
“Jazz Club?” David chuckled. “How would you stand it? I hate that kind of music. It's decades old.”
“I know, but music can be timeless.”
“Not this music.”
I glanced around in time to see his face. Pressing my lips together, I tried not to let his words rile me. As if the annoying techno beats he always blasted in his car would ever stand the test of time.
“You're not seriously thinking of auditioning, are you? I didn't even know you could sing.”
“I don't, really. I just muck around with Jody sometimes.” I shook my head, stepping back from the school bulletin board, inspired with a quick lie. “Actually, I was thinking of Jody, not me. You know how amazing her voice is. She'll sing anything.”
“Yeah.” David rolled his eyes. “I know.”
“Hey.” I lightly tugged his shirt. “She's good.”
“Oh yeah, she's amazing. Sorry, I wasn't trying to be mean.”
“I know.” I forced a grin.
“But, don't you think she's involved in enough stuff? I mean, now that she's over her wild rampage, she's actually busy with Glee Club and choir and dance. Do we really want her to get involved in yet another thing we'll have to go and watch?”
My nose wrinkled before I could stop it. “You don't like watching Jody perform?”
“Oh no, of course I do.” His dimple appeared, but the way he ran his hand through his hair told me he was hedging. “I just...” He cleared his throat, pointing back at the board. “I just don't want to have to sit through jazz as well. Please, could you just not show her this one...for me?”
His soft gaze was on full-beam and I always found it impossible to resist. We'd been dating nearly six months, and the desire to please him was just as strong as the day he first asked me out. I didn't always understand the power he seemed to have over me, but I knew I never wanted to lose him, and so I nodded and took his hand, turning away from the audition notice and vowing never to give away my secret.
My skeleton remained locked up tight in a shower cubicle and I was happy to keep it there. It was probably the reason why I always had such long showers. Aunt Fiona used to tell me off for using up all the hot water. She'd bang on the door, interrupting me mid-verse, and tell me to hurry up. Wretched woman. She never knew how to have any fun. Her showers lasted a minute, tops. In, soap, wash, out. She had no concept of how luxurious a shower could really be.
I danced my fingers under the hot spray and sighed.
Heaven.
I stepped into the hot oasis and stretched my neck back, letting the water run down my front, heating me, soaking into my skin. I closed my eyes.
“Heaven,” I sang the word in a whisper. “I'm in heaven.”
My voice grew stronger as I sang through the first verse of “Cheek to Cheek.” Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald sang my favorite version of the song. I was so in love with those two, probably because my mother was a jazz/swing freak. Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Louis Armstrong...they were always filling our house with music. But Ella, she was my mom's favorite, and she'd quickly become mine. The woman had a voice like an angel...the supreme songbird, Mom used to say.
I ended the verse strong on the high note and was about to dip low for the last line when a deep, masculine voice joined me from the other side of the wall.
“When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.”
My breath hitched, my heart rate tripling. Man, that was a sexy voice. My insides flooded with heat and it wasn't because of the shower. I bit my lip, wondering how to respond. My mind flashed with images of a naked man beneath his own shower head. What did he look like? If the person matched the voice, he must be built like a Greek god. My insides coiled tight as I touched the tiles in front of me.
I'd never had such a physical reaction to someone's voice before. I mean, yeah, David was sexy in his own way, but whoever was on the other side of the wall was making my knees weak.
The man chuckled, a low, gruff sound from his throat...at least I thought it was a chuckle. It was kind of hard to hear through the wall, but then he started singing again and I heard the smooth sound with crystal clarity. “Oh, I'd love to climb a mountain and to reach the highest peak.”
He paused.
Waiting.
For me.
Pressing my lips together, I blinked a couple of times and then grinned.
CHAPTER FIVE
COLE
My alarm jolted me awake, piercing my sleep like a sword through the brain. I reached for my watch and scrambled to turn it off, tempted to roll over and forget it ever started beeping. My eyes were just closing when I let out a groggy groan.
“Get your ass up, Cole,” I mumbled, forcing my body out of bed.
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to encourage my fuzzy brain into operation. The best thing to wake me up would be
a shower. I grabbed my stuff and stumbled out the door.
The corridors were empty, and I liked it that way. I threw back the men’s bathroom door and hit the lights, heading for the end stall. It was the only one I used. Not sure why, just a habit I didn't want to kick.
Flinging back the curtain, I flicked on the spray and quickly undressed. The water grew hot quickly, which was awesome. I wished the spray was a little stronger. I liked those showers that pelted your flesh, hot and hard, but getting that in these dorms was nothing but a pipedream. I'd have to swing by Nina and Mal's one night for a taste of luxury. I found more and more excuses to shower at their place since their new bathroom had been installed. Go for a meal; take a shower.
I grinned as I pictured Nina's eye roll. She told me I was ridiculous, but she didn't understand the true luxury of a shower. I stepped under the spray, throwing my head under right away and reaching for the shampoo. I was just lathering up when I heard it.
The voice of an angel.
It was soft at first, making me second-guess myself, but it grew with strength, and I had soon picked up the lines of “Cheek to Cheek.” Hmmmm, a jazz fan.
Nina was a jazz freak. Frank Sinatra, Louis Armstrong, Cole Porter, she had it all, but nothing got her smiling like Ella Fitzgerald; she played that stuff all the time. As a teen, I used to moan and try for something else, but the music grew on me and the lyrics were permanently embedded in my brain.
This chick singing on the other side of the wall had an Ella essence about her. It was a beautiful sound and I found myself mesmerized, shampoo suds running down the back of my neck, unnoticed.
Her sweet voice paused to take a breath, and I couldn't help myself. I sung the next line loud and clear.
“When we're out together, dancing cheek to cheek.”
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