“Oh, I think we’ve already established that you’re deliciously heterosexual. I meant why aren’t you married and happily populating the suburbs with little Tessas?”
Tessa took a big sip of wine and ignored the verbal pass. “Same reason as you, I guess. I’m busy with work, and it’s hard to focus on a relationship when you have crazy hours and even crazier cases.”
“Don’t you want kids?”
“Sure I do. After I hit thirty-six I figure my career will be well launched, and I can focus on the home front.”
“And until then you live in a cloister?” Luke asked.
She blushed. Just about, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. “Of course not. I’ve had a couple of long-term relationships since college, but it wasn’t really right to prolong things when I wasn’t ready to get married.”
“Especially when they were?”
“Something like that. I guess I haven’t found what I want yet, and I really won’t let myself look until I have more time and energy to give to a relationship. So I do the test-drive thing—that way no one gets hurt when it doesn’t work out.” She caught his look. “It’s a good system—at least it’s worked for me.”
“What you mean is that it’s enabled you to keep men at bay and have a safety net.”
“Maybe. It just wouldn’t have been fair for anyone to get too attached when the relationship wasn’t going anywhere.”
“Because you wouldn’t let it,” he pointed out.
Feeling cornered, she shrugged. “I would never want to have my marriage and family compete with a demanding law career. I’ve been there, and I know it’s not good for the children, or the spouse. Since I have certain goals for my job, and I plan on achieving them in the next few years, it make sense to hold off on the family front. That way, no one gets hurt.”
Luke was silent as he refreshed the wine she’d been steadily drinking during their talk.
She mistook his silence for criticism. “I know it sounds cold—God, don’t think I haven’t considered that,” Tessa said.
“You’re not cold—far from it. I think you were badly hurt as a child by a father who placed his job above everything and a mother who died young. Then your father and stepmother had other…priorities once they got married. The way you interact with people today is colored by your childhood experience.”
“Thank you,” Tessa said quietly. “No one has ever understood why I refuse to have a husband and family until I can give them everything. I hurt two very nice men who said they were willing to go along with my plan to put family on hold until thirty-six. After several years together, they demanded to change all the rules because they suddenly wanted to get married. Never mind what I wanted.”
“Which was?” Luke asked.
“Depends. In the short term, I wanted a comfortable, monogamous affair based on respect and affection. I’m not into flings—I wanted stability and caring and companionship.”
It sounded like she was looking for a dog, Luke thought, but he simply nodded. “And in the long run?”
“For once, I want to come first in someone’s life. Just as they will in mine. My family will be my top priority once I have one, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask that I be allowed to concentrate on my career for a while. Just until I get everything in order and build financial security to have a husband and kids on my terms.”
Luke wanted to pull her into his arms and hug her. His organized, logical, and analytical Tessa clearly didn’t understand that love seldom waited for those involved to get everything lined up in an orderly fashion. Obviously, no man had ever explained that to her.
Their loss, his gain.
But he’d have to be careful how he approached the whole topic. Before he’d met Tessa, he hadn’t been looking to settle down and start reproducing, either. But that time wasn’t far off, and she was certainly the most intriguing woman he’d ever met. He wanted a chance to see what would develop between them, while she was equally determined to prevent that from happening.
“So now you understand why I’ve been uncomfortable with…us,” Tessa said, gesturing between them with her half-full wineglass.
“Maybe. But I don’t agree. What if I’m looking for the same thing you are—caring, companionship, monogamy, and the added bonus of fantastic chemistry?”
“Well, there’s the case we’re working on,” Tessa pointed out.
“I’m still not buying it. I do understand your position. All I ask is the right to change your mind. Or do you think I’m so irresistible that you won’t be able to stop yourself from jumping me?” Luke nudged her in the ribs and invited her to share a joke on him.
Tessa laughed, then handed him her wine for a refill. “I hope dinner’s soon, or you’re going to have to call a cab for me to get home.”
She wouldn’t be going home that night, Luke thought. But he didn’t see any need to argue about it at that moment.
He showed her to the dining area and let her help set the table. He pulled warming dishes out of the oven, and soon they were seated at the table enjoying a home-cooked meal.
“So what information did you have from MacBeth,” Tessa asked as she pulled the skin off her fried chicken. She allowed herself only a tiny bite of the fatty treat before setting it aside to work on the meat.
“I don’t want to ruin your appetite,” Luke said. “Maybe we should wait.”
She gave him what he was quickly recognizing to be the Look. “It can’t be any worse than what I’ve been imagining for the last few days. Sometimes it’s better to know for sure than to wonder. We already know she didn’t call from the bus station. What else is there?
“It’s nothing we didn’t already suspect. MacBeth found a missing persons report from Kansas that matched Kelly’s description. Then he confirmed it was her by faxing the local police a picture and talking to the parents. It turns out she’s a runaway from Hays, which is right on the interstate and the Greyhound bus line.”
“He actually found Kelly’s family?” Tessa asked as she put her food down.
“Yes. Her last name is Maarten, which is Dutch. It’s spelled differently, but pronounced the same way as ‘Martin.’ That’s why she didn’t pop right away.”
“Just close enough to the truth to be convincing—Kelly’s a smart girl. No wonder she passed that section of the polygraph. She was telling the truth about her name.”
“Yeah, but not about much else. I don’t know any easy way to say this, but Kelly is a minor.”
“We thought she might be. Just how minor is she?”
“Fifteen. She’ll be sixteen next month.”
“Jesus.” Tessa closed her eyes and imagined being nearly sixteen and alone in Los Angeles.
“I know it’s hard to accept, but does her age really matter in terms of what she’s been through? It would be traumatic no matter how old she is.”
“I know,” Tessa said. She was silent for a moment, thinking about how to use the new information. “Well, her age will help us nail Sledge Aiken, for starters. He’s acknowledged a sexual relationship with Kelly, which puts him up for statutory rape. I won’t need to prove a thing in court.”
“I hate to play the devil’s advocate for that piece of dog shit, but what if she lied to him about her age?” Luke asked.
“That would muddy the waters a bit, but correct me if I’m wrong—wasn’t Sledge known for liking young girls? I could argue that not only did he suspect Kelly was a minor, he was counting on it. I think if we dug into his background, we’d find a pattern of this type of behavior.”
Luke stroked a finger down her soft cheek. “That’s my girl. Instead of freaking out over the news, you’re already planning a new strategy.”
She ducked her head for a moment. “I’ve already done plenty of agonizing over Kelly’s situation, and look where it’s gotten me. I want to pour that energy into getting her away from these people and back to her family in Kansas. Hey, did MacBeth say if the parents were coming to Calif
ornia?”
He shook his head. “They couldn’t afford to stay for more than a few days. MacBeth told them that we knew where Kelly was and that we believe she’s safe for now. He convinced them there was nothing they could do by being here. The father said it was just as well, since Kelly ran away to get out from under their strict rules. They’re afraid she’ll rabbit again if she sees them or hears they’re in town.”
“I’m sure she wouldn’t run away. Even strict parents must look pretty good at this point. God, how did a fifteen-year-old kid from Kansas hook up with Jerry Kravitz and company?”
“I think the FBI agent who dealt with sex crimes had it right—Kelly was probably picked up at the bus station, befriended by someone her age who wasn’t threatening, then turned over to Jerry. Her first few weeks here might have been quite pleasant until it came time for her to start earning her way.”
Tessa began shredding the roll she’d been eating. “I’m going to look forward to locking Jerry up for a long time. Maybe he can make some new friends in the prison showers.”
Luke winced. “Ouch. You’re not supposed to know about stuff like that.”
She shot him the Look again. “I’ve interviewed inmates from prisons as far away as San Quentin. Believe me, I understand what goes on behind bars. In some cases, I think it might even be divine justice for people who would take advantage of others.”
“Don’t worry too much about Kelly, Swiss. She strikes me as a tough kid—hell, she has to be a survivor to have made it this far. She’ll get out, and you’ll help her.”
“I know she’s a survivor, that’s why I like her so much.”
“Ditto,” Luke said. He reached for Tessa’s hand and brought it to his lips. “You missed a crumb.”
“Did I? So what is this, you feed me, then make the moves? I thought you said I was safe.”
“I said I reserved the right to change your mind. Besides, I want you to stop worrying for one night. Look at these circles under your eyes,” he said as he tenderly rubbed one with his thumb. “Why don’t we sit on the couch in the dark and listen to soft music for a while. You set aside the case—”
“Turning my brain off isn’t that easy,” she warned him.
“You should know I can’t resist a challenge, Swiss. Come on.” Luke pushed away from the table and went into the dimly lit living room. He seated her in the corner of the couch, pulled a light throw over her, and left to play with the stereo.
He stood looking at his extensive CD collection, then reached for one with a hand that shook ever so faintly. Dave Matthews Band? No, that was blatant make-out music. Instead he pulled out a Cowboy Junkies collection and put that on. Then Lucinda Williams. Dave Matthews would be third in the CD tray.
Tessa sat wrapped in the warm throw, waiting for Luke to come back and sit beside her. Part of her was looking forward to his inevitable pass, but, at the same time, she was dreading have to spoil the peace of the evening by turning him down and leaving.
She opened her mouth to let him know that she would not be spending the night, no matter what. Instead, he interrupted her. “I’ll go take care of the kitchen. You just chill out here on the couch.”
Lips pursed in a faint pout, Tessa settled back and listened to him putter around washing dishes and cleaning pots and pans. The noises were so companionable, so very ordinary, they combined with the mellow music to help her relax. Within minutes, her eyelids drooped, and she dozed with her cheek pressed against the smooth leather of the couch.
Twenty minutes later, Luke came out of the kitchen to start a fire. The March night wasn’t that cold, but he figured the flames would help Tessa relax.
Of course, that was before he’d realized she was fast asleep on his couch.
Smiling at the picture she made, Luke quietly went to the deck to gather kindling and firewood. With a minimum of noise and fuss, he soon had a large blaze burning in the fireplace. He stood and washed his hands, then slipped his shoes off and crawled onto the couch next to Tessa.
If she wanted comfortable, peaceful companionship at the moment, that was what he’d give her. Maybe she’d be intrigued enough to demand more. Until then, he’d enjoy the knowledge that she was finally relaxing and letting go of the tensions brought on by the investigation.
With one arm hugging Tessa to his side, he gently settled her head on his shoulder and drifted as well.
Chapter 28
Santa Monica, California
Early Saturday morning, March 13
Sometime after midnight, Tessa woke to the knowledge that the CDs were on repeat play and Luke had built a fire sometime after she’d conked out. Then she realized she was curled against him, and he seemed to be asleep as well. His chest moved slowly beneath her cheek with each breath he took, and she had no idea how long she’d been using him as a human pillow.
She’d been sleeping so deeply she wondered for a horrified moment if she’d drooled all over his shirt, but a quick check showed that she hadn’t completely embarrassed herself. Beyond falling asleep on the single most interesting man she’d ever met. Literally on him.
With a pained sigh at her complete lack of social graces, Tessa carefully began to untangle herself from the heap they made on the soft leather couch. The throw slid off Luke as he hooked an arm around her and pulled her back down to his chest.
“Quit wiggling. This is the best evening I’ve had in months,” Luke grumbled.
“I have to go home,” Tessa whispered back.
“Why? If you’re not comfortable here, we can go upstairs.”
Tessa gulped as Luke turned the full force of his sleepy gaze on her in the dimly lit room, the molten light from the flames reflected in his heavy-lidded hazel eyes. In the background, Dave Matthews crooned softly about watching his love from a distance and wanting with a physical ache. The music, combined with the remnants of the fire and the force of her attraction to Luke scrambled whatever polite words she would have said to decline his invitation to go to bed with him.
“Swiss?”
“Yes.” She said it softly. Even she couldn’t have said whether it was a question or a response. But Luke seemed to take it as agreement, because his eyes lit up, and his lips curved in a satisfied grin.
I can’t believe I just said that. What the hell was in the wine?
But she couldn’t blame it on the wine, or the firelight, or the seductive music. The person responsible for everything she was feeling was slowly pulling her to her feet, then taking her hand and leading the way silently up the carpeted stairs to the master suite.
Once they were inside, Tessa saw the huge sleigh bed and dug her toes into the plush carpeting in a sudden attack of nerves. Luke dropped her hand to pull the covers back, then returned to her and slowly pulled her blouse out of the waistband of her business skirt.
She swallowed hard as he put her on the edge of the bed and lifted her skirt hem. She grabbed his hand to stop it from traveling up her thigh.
“We haven’t even kissed yet.” The words didn’t make sense, and she struggled to find a better way to express that things were going too fast.
“Is that a complaint? I just wanted to get you out of those uncomfortable nylons, but if you want more…”
“No—it’s just…God,” she said, letting her head fall back as he closed his mouth over hers, stroked his tongue around her faint frown. Then he closed a strong hand around her hip and squeezed gently. “This isn’t me,” she managed between kisses.
“It’s new to me, too. But I’m not going to waste time analyzing things when we have this heat between us,” Luke said between kisses. He caught her lips again as he put his hand between her legs and began moving his palm in slow circles against her.
Tessa cried out softly and pulled her mouth away from his to gasp for air. “I should go,” she tried again. But her hands wrapped around his neck and burrowed into his dark hair.
“But coming is so much better than going,” he said with a sleepy, wicked grin. Sliding his
fingers under her skirt again, he stripped the nylons down her legs in one easy motion.
She giggled, the sound unconsciously seductive—not her normal laugh at all. “You’re so bad.”
“Bad is good, right?” Luke asked as he stretched Tessa out across the bed and laid himself down beside her. He linked their fingers together, using his hold to raise her arms above her head in a position of complete surrender.
“Bad is dangerous. I shouldn’t be doing this,” she said, turning her face away in a haze of indecision so he had to nuzzle her neck instead of her lips. “We work together and it’s too soon, and you’re too—I’m not…” Tessa’s voice trailed away as he lowered his head to kiss and nibble at her breasts through the silken material of her blouse.
“Have you ever, just once in your life, let go of the rules? Done something purely because it felt right and good and was what you needed at that moment?” Luke asked.
She shivered at the temptation he offered. She’d never felt this way in her life and she had no idea of how to handle it—or him.
“Have you?” Luke prompted. “No.” Her serious blue-gray eyes looked so sad and wistful as she breathed the word that he wanted to scoop her against him and never let go.
“Maybe it’s time to do something for yourself, then. Just relax and let me love you. It won’t affect the case or whatever rules you’ve got in your head. No one has to know but you and me,” he whispered. He released one of her hands and moved his fingers up and down her soft thigh in gentle, strumming motions. “Let go and feel, Tessa.”
“I’m not, ah, very good at letting go,” she said seriously. “I don’t want you to build this up into something, then disappoint you.”
“Darling Tessa. The only way you could disappoint me would be to get up and leave me here alone in physical pain.” Luke took her captive hand and pressed it against the front of his khakis. She could feel the throbbing heat of his erection, but the fabric was too thick for her to do more.
“I’m probably going to regret this,” Tessa said. She pulled his shirt out of the way and began to unfasten his pants.
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