by Brooks, Abby
“Well that’s not good.” Ian frowned. “I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything.”
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”
“And see? We’ve come full circle. If you killed me, we couldn’t do whatever it is your dirty little mind is working on right now.”
Juliet pretended to consider his point. “I’m not sure I’m brave enough to do what my dirty little mind is working on.” She was on the verge of telling him, looking forward to the shock that would play across his face.
“That’s why you’ve got me. To hold your hands through the scary parts.”
Something warm and welcome blazed through Juliet’s heart. How did he know how to make her feel so good? “But if you hold my hands, I won’t be able to do what I’m thinking about doing.”
Confusion pursed his eyebrows. Juliet had learned that Ian loved to figure things out. He didn’t want to be given the answer, he liked to find it himself. She waited while that quick mind of his worked through what she’d said and when realization dawned across his face, she dropped her gaze and smiled up at him through her lashes, a blush flaring hot and pink across her cheeks.
Ian smiled at her, an exhilarating mix of shock and pride. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”
“Sure am.” Juliet sat back, filled to the brim with self-satisfaction. It looked like Ian liked her idea as much as she did and when she ran her hand up his thigh, stopping for a second to squeeze the strong quadriceps encased in his jeans, she got the encouragement she needed when she felt the hard bulge at his crotch.
Ian sighed and dropped his head back to the headrest, his hands clenched tight on the wheel. “As much as I’d love to see how far you’re willing to go here, you’re gonna have to stop.”
Embarrassment crushed the little flare of excitement in Juliet’s heart. Had she misread his reaction? “I’m sorry,” she said, snatching her hand back.
“Don’t be.” Ian rolled his shoulders and blew air out of his mouth. “I’m all for what you had in mind, you dirty little thing you, but we’re getting close to our destination and I can’t go in anywhere looking like I do now.” He glanced down at his jeans, the outline of his erection clear and distinct. “The things you do to me should be illegal.”
That sweet edge of satisfaction worked its way back into Juliet’s chest and she sat back in her seat with a sigh. “Ditto.”
“That’s all I get? Ditto? Dang. And here I thought I was rocking your world.”
“You leave me speechless. You’re lucky you even get a ditto.”
“And see, there you go, making another good point.”
Ian slowed and flicked on a turn signal. Juliet looked around, trying to get an idea as to what they were doing, but they were in the middle of nowhere. The tires crunched into a long driveway surrounded by wide open fields, but Juliet wasn’t looking at the fields anymore. She spun in her seat, eyes fixed on the sign by the road even after Ian drove past it. “Skydiving?” she squeaked. “We’re going skydiving?” She couldn’t keep the panic out of her voice.
Ian looked at her with a mix of enjoyment at the surprise and concern at her reaction to it. “Yep. You said you were curious. And for a woman who told me she’d be a bird if she could, well, there’s no doubt in my mind you’re gonna love this.”
“Ian! I don’t … I can’t…” Fear twisted in her belly. Sure, she loved the idea of skydiving, but the reality of it? She’d learned her lesson about the difference between fantasy and reality the hard way with Michael and she wasn’t interested in learning it again.
“Leaving you speechless again, am I?” Ian’s tone of voice was way too light for the panic that tangled up her thoughts.
“You don’t understand. I can’t do this.”
“Sure you can. You’re the girl who figured out how to make her own biscuits when she didn’t have a lot of money for food. How to drink coffee out of a bowl when she didn’t have the right mug. How to support herself when no one else would. You most definitely can do this.”
“Yah, but what if I can’t? What if I get to the door and stare out into the sky and I just can’t?”
“Well, then we’ve found the one thing you can’t do.” Ian pulled into a parking spot in a nearly empty lot. “But listen. You can do this. I have faith in you.” Those words—I have faith in you—had a monumental effect on Juliet. They rattled around inside her and unlocked a bunch of feelings she wasn’t sure what to do with. Hearing him say that satisfied a need she didn’t even know she’d had and something hard and forgotten inside her started to soften.
Ian reached across the car and took her hand. “Do you trust me?”
She nodded, not sure she could trust her voice.
“I need to hear you say it.” Ian’s face was open and he held eye contact with her, calm and strong and totally willing to wait until she was okay.
Juliet took a breath. Found strength in his eyes. “Yes. I trust you.”
“Good. Then come with me, my friend. I promise, life will never be the same.”
Ian was a frequent flyer here and knew the owners well. Apparently, he’d called the day after their first date to block off an entire day so that he and Juliet were the only people going up. And coming down.
Holy shit, I’m going to jump out of an airplane! As Juliet listened to her instructor, Dillan—an excited man whose trim frame wasn’t big enough to house his exuberance—her nerves began to transition into expectation. Doubt gave way to certainty. She was really going to do this.
“You’re not gonna get that roller coaster drop feeling. You know the one I’m talking about?” Dillan barely had time to see her nod before he started talking again. “It’s not like that at all. It’s comfortable. You’re gonna feel supported, like you’re floating, and the air’s gonna put just a little bit of pressure on your body. It’s the closest you’re ever gonna get to flying, girlie. There’s nothing like it.” Dillan bounced from foot to foot, waiting for her response that never came. She was still too nervous to trust her voice and responded with a curt nod.
Ian took her hand. “You’re gonna do a tandem jump with Dillan. He’ll literally do all the work. And lucky you, you get a crazy leprechaun strapped to your back, pulling the strings and telling you what to do.”
“What about you?” Juliet knew there was no way she could do this without Ian.
“I’m jumping solo, hot stuff. I’ll follow you out after a few seconds, but I’ll catch up quick. If you’re doing okay, I might even be able to take your hand for a bit and we can fly together.”
Staring into Ian’s excited eyes, Juliet found the strength to squash down her fear. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
The next hour or so was lost to a stream of information and instruction. Before she knew it, Juliet was on a plane, zipped into a jumpsuit, cruising about eleven hundred feet above the ground.
“You ready?” Dillan asked.
“Yep.”
“How brave are you?”
His question started her heart thundering through her body. “What?”
“How brave are you?”
Here she was, sitting in a plane with the sole intention of jumping out of it. “I’d say I’m pretty brave.”
“Yah, she is,” Ian said, patting her leg.
“Awesome! I’ve got something in mind for you. ” Dillan told her that when it was time to jump, that she should walk to the very edge of the plane, let her toes hang out over the edge, and then, instead of jumping, he wanted her to lean out over the edge until she fell and he’d take care of the rest.
And then suddenly, the doors on the airplane were open. Her toes were on the edge. The sky stretched out in front of her, and the ground seemed light years away. The giant hangar where she’d spent the morning was nothing more than a tiny spec down below. Her heart was in her throat and Dillan was strapped on her back. Despite what Ian had said, Dillan was nothing like a crazed leprechaun at this point. He was calm and confident and kept reminding h
er of everything she’d learned on the ground.
She took a breath. Stared down at the ground so far below her. Took another breath.
And then, without waiting to think, she did it. She leaned forward, ducking her head like she’d been instructed and holy shit! She was falling! Somehow, Dillan flipped them so they were facing the plane as they fell and Julz got to see Ian step up to the doors. He waved and she could have sworn she saw pride all over his face for just a second before Dillan got them flipped over again and they were facing the ground.
Dillan was right. This was nothing at all like a drop on a roller coaster and it was everything she’d ever imagined being able to fly would feel like.
Out of nowhere, Ian came zooming down past her, a human torpedo, and then he straightened his body to slow his fall. With Dillan’s help, they zoomed and maneuvered through the air until they were, indeed, close enough to hold hands. It took every bit of courage in Juliet’s heart to take her hands off the straps around her chest to reach out for him, but she did it. And when her hand was safely wrapped in his, she looked into his eyes and knew that she’d truly never be the same. This experience had Life Changing Event written all over it.
When it was time to open the canopies, they maneuvered away from each other and Dillan pulled the cord. Juliet braced herself for what she was sure would be a massive jerking experience as the parachute filled with air even though Dillan and Ian had both assured her it wasn’t going to be bad. Of course, they were right. It was no worse than jumping feet first into a pool of water. The four minute trip down to the ground was like an adrenaline fueled meditation session. She’d never been more in the moment. Ever. No worry. No stress. No anxiety. She just … was.
They touched down without issues and as soon as Juliet was free from Dillan, she raced right into Ian’s arms. “Oh my God, thank you! Holy shit! I can’t believe I just did that!”
Ian did his best to hold her tight even though she was wiggling around with excitement. She totally got Dillan’s attitude when they first arrived. And this was his job. This was how he lived.
“Yep. You did it. I totally knew you could.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this …” she looked around, searching for the right word. “Powerful. I’ve never felt this powerful before. Like I can take on anything.”
Ian exchanged a knowing look with Dillan. “And just think, you haven’t even done it by yourself, yet.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Ian
Powerful. That’s exactly how Ian wanted to make Juliet feel. Safe. Capable. Not just taken care of, but strong in her own right. He wanted to build her up and make her better. He wanted to see this look on her face every day.
As adorable as she looked in her flight suit, she looked even better out of it, where his hands could touch her skin and his eyes could rove her curves. She’d chatted away non-stop as they walked back to his car and kept on going as he threw it in gear and headed back towards Bliss for lunch. It was nice to see her like that, throwing her practiced smile out the window and just being herself.
“Wait a minute,” Juliet said, interrupting herself. “I thought you said you didn’t fly anymore.” Concern and confusion creased her delicate face.
“I didn’t fly that plane today.” He knew what she was driving at, but it was fun to play with her.
“You know what I mean,” she said, rolling her eyes and laughing lightly. “You were up in the air. In a plane. And then you jumped out of the plane. Which has to be worse than actually driving one.”
“Driving one, huh. That’s the word you’re going with?”
She slapped him playfully on the arm, widening her eyes. “Yes, that’s what I’m going with and you know what I’m trying to ask. So spill it, Moore.” The transition of her face from playful to fearful as she realized that she’d not only hit him, but also gave him an order broke his heart a little. That wouldn’t do at all. He wanted her comfortable enough around him to be herself.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, purposefully keeping his voice light and his face bright. He waited until her fear receded before he continued. “You’re right. After the accident, I didn’t want to fly again. I wanted to keep my ass on the ground. But it didn’t take long for me to realize that was fear talking, because there was never a time in my life that I didn’t want to be in the air. And you know what? I refuse to let fear rule me. That’s when I had the idea to start skydiving, get myself up in the air again. Battle down all the crazy stuff I had in my head when I first came home.”
Ian still didn’t like talking about the accident, but he’d keep sharing if she asked. If he expected her to be completely open with him—and one day soon he was going to push her for information about that Tech Lord guy and he would expect her to be open with him—then he’d need to be just as open with her. He waited for her to ask another question about what happened, but she just sat quietly, staring out the window for a few seconds.
“That’s the kind of answer I’d expect from you,” she finally said, just when he started to think she wasn’t going to speak again. “Strong and capable. Filled with willpower and self-awareness. I wish I was like that.”
“But you are.” For the most part, he finished in his head. She carried around so much self-doubt. So much latent sadness inside her. It held her back from truly believing in herself and the decisions she made. But she had the strength to get past it, and what she didn’t have, he was going to give her. And the first step was confidence.
“No. Not like you.”
“Yes. Just like me. Look, I’m not going to pretend to know what caused you to need four states and almost a thousand miles between you and the city, but that took guts. Just you and your little dog, too, in a car, heading off to who knew where.”
“Yah, but it was stupid. Doing it without a plan, just rushing off as soon as I was brave enough,” she said, ignoring his Wizard of Oz reference.
Brave enough. That was the first time she’d even come close to acknowledging the fear he’d seen in her eyes in all those pictures of her with Michael Phillips when Ian had Googled her. “I expect that you had a very good reason to need to make the choice as quickly as you did.” Ian reached out and put a hand on Juliet’s thigh and she jumped, her eyes far away.
“I did.”
“And you don’t think it took guts to go ahead and do it once you knew it was time to leave?”
She thought for a second, the darkness on her face lightening. “It did,” she said, nodding. “But it was still stupid.”
Ian put his hand back on the wheel but turned to catch her eye. “Are you saying you’re not happy here?”
Shock washed away the self-doubt on her face. “Oh, no! I’m happier than I’ve ever been!”
Ian could tell she really meant it. “And are you saying that you don’t like where you are?”
“I love it here.” The look on her face was like dawn breaking. Understanding and realization dropping her shoulders away from her ears.
“Then it sounds like there was nothing stupid about what you did, whatsoever.” He enjoyed the surprise on her face for a second. “And I’m glad you’re happy. And I love that you love it here.”
She fell quiet and Ian knew he’d given her a lot to think about so he took over the conversation and chatted away while she digested what he’d said. The radio was on and the sun was shining and he could actually watch stress fall away from her, like she was letting go of something heavy. By the time they were nearly finished with lunch, Juliet was beaming and animated as they talked.
“What a fantastic day,” she said, wiping her mouth and throwing her napkin on her plate.
“I can’t argue with that. But I’m ready for you to show me just how grateful you are.” It was time to push her boundaries just a little.
Her eyes lit up and she leaned towards him, lowering her voice. “You ready for that blow job?”
“I’m in the mood for a whole lot more than just a blow job.” He looke
d towards the hall that led to the bathrooms in the back of the crowded restaurant. “Meet me in the ladies room.”
Her jaw fell open and her eyebrows just about ejected themselves off her face, but he could see her consider it. Watched her eyes grow hungry at the thought of it. “You like that idea don’t you?”
“Maybe.” She drew the word out and a blush flared across her cheeks. “But I don’t know if I can.” She looked into her lap. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Juliet Lane.” He waited until she met his eyes. “First of all, you can’t disappoint me. Everything about you surprises me and makes me happy. But second of all, you just jumped out of a freaking airplane. And you didn’t think you could do that, either.” He waited and got to watch that feeling of power bloom in her again.
She bit her lip and stood, her eyes never leaving his. She stood there for a few seconds, biting her lip and blushing and Ian started to wonder if she’d end up sitting right back down again. He should have known better than to doubt her because damn if she didn’t turn away from him, saunter back towards the hallway that led to the restrooms, and disappear around the corner.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Juliet
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. She was really going to do this. She was going to have sex in the bathroom of a crowded restaurant the very same day she jumped out of an airplane! Who the hell was this girl because she sure wasn't boring old Juliet Lane. There’s no way Willow would believe her when she told her. If she told her. Okay, when she told her because there was no way Juliet could keep this day to herself.
At least the bathroom was clean. And, it was one of those single deals where they’d be able to lock the door. But, even with that door closed tight, she could still hear the clink and clank of forks on plates and the murmur of conversation coming from the restaurant. And if she could hear the people out there, then they could hear her, and she’d never been very good at keeping quiet. Especially with Ian.