The Accidental Human

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The Accidental Human Page 15

by Dakota Cassidy


  The man who’d been with him outside cleared his throat. “Ah, sir? I believe you have a visitor.”

  Heath whipped around, the rush of air he created swelling and filling her nostrils with his cologne. “Wanda.” He said nothing more than her name—like he was making a statement, not like he was wondering why the fuck she was here. His gaze penetrated hers.

  And all of a sudden, she felt like a total ass—a complete idiot. Who the hell did she think she was, barging in on his personal life like he owed her an explanation? She was his supervisor and loosely at that—supervising him didn’t mean she could stalk his ass, demanding answers about his unusual personal circumstances.

  “Um, sir?” the man in the black, also impeccable suit crossed his arms over his chest. He had a distinguished presence to him, as though he was far above the clutches of the shelter. His British accent was cultured in just the few words he spoke, his face unreadable.

  “Yeah, Arch?”

  “I believe curiosity has arrived in the form of the lovely Ms. Schwartz. And indeed, sir, she is lovely. Just as you said.” This Arch guy nudged Heath. “And introductions can only be appropriate on such a festive occasion as a visit to our lair.”

  Heath stood silent. The room around Wanda swelled with the noise of the other men and their chatter. The neutral colors of the walls were dull against the vivid image of Heath. And all she could hear was that Heath had told this man she was lovely . . .

  He waved an impatient hand under Heath’s nose. “Never mind, Heathcliff. Clearly I’m the only one capable of retaining his manners. Ms. Schwartz—I’m Archibald Crane. Heathcliff’s manservant. It’s a pleasure. I would have wished we’d met under any other circumstances but these. However, as you’re here, and this hellish place is our setting, do pull up a cot and sit down. I promise I’ve aired the linens personally and to the best of my ability, given our crude, rudimentary accommodations. I’d offer you refreshment, but again, do forgive our rather rustic backdrop.” He gave a slight bow in her direction.

  Heathcliff? His name was really Heathcliff ? And he had a manservant. A manservant? Like one of those guys that catered to your every need way back when?

  She spewed the word before she could stop herself. “Manservant . . .”

  He nodded affirmation, the coarse, sparse gray hairs on his head ruffling when he did. “Indeed, miss.”

  “Hookay.” It was all she had in the way of sparkling conversation.

  When Heath spoke for the first time, not a shred of embarrassment for his surroundings tainted his words. “So what brings you to my crib, Wanda?” His grin was devilish, laced with a mocking, amused glint in his eyes.

  “I-I . . .” She remembered her oath to keep things as real as possible until she was gone. However, she hadn’t factored in the utter assholish-ness it would require. Nor had she accounted for how humiliated she’d be by it. “Okay, so I’m just going to be honest here. Um, Archibald, here, well, he’s right. I was curious. I mean, wouldn’t you be curious if I showed up at your house every day, dressed in the same suit—a suit that sports a designer label, mind you—not to mention the fact that you’re smart, and you’re a whiz at selling units of foundation.” Archibald’s snicker cut into her speech. Amusement lit up his face. “Yet you never mention where you live, if you’re married, have children, and you have a car that’s a complete dichotomy to your clothing,” she lowered her voice with the last phrase. “It’s a Yugo, for God’s sake. So okay, I’m here, admitting I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was subtle, I tried not to pry, and then I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know what your deal was. And now I do. Sort of.”

  Heath still said nothing. His gaze neither condemned her nor offered any clue as to what this was all about.

  She’d been dissed in the most silent, painfully obvious of ways. “So, Archibald”—she tugged her glove off and held out her hand to him—“it was nice meeting you. Heath. I’ll see you tomorrow for the Bobbie-Sue weekly meeting. I’m totally stoked you’re getting your level-two red suit—sash, whatever you’ll end up getting, being a man and all. And so soon, too. It sometimes takes weeks, even months for new recruits to get where you are.You’ll be a lavender in no time flat.You should be proud. Very proud. Now, I’m going to slink on out of here with my tail between my legs, which seems to be becoming a habit with me. I’m sorry I interfered in your private . . . um, in your business. It was crass and nosy and very, very un-Bobbie-Sue-like. In fact, if you lodged a complaint about me, I wouldn’t blame you one itsy-bitsy bit.” She’d never live to see it come to fruition, and she found herself saving face over that thought.

  Wanda grimaced, pivoting on her toe, prepared to fly out on the heels of humiliation. But Heath stopped her, grabbing onto her arm and turning her back around. “You talk a lot sometimes.”

  Guilty. “Especially when I feel like an idiot.”

  His gaze remained just as steely, but his eyes were warm. “It’s appealing in a rambling sorta way.”

  Her cheeks instantly grew hot. “No, it’s intrusive and rude. And stop staring at me like that.”

  “But still, oddly appealing. Plus, I figure if I just stare you down, you’ll let the cat out of the bag without me even having to try and figure out what you want to know.”

  Wanda’s stomach clenched. “Kudos are definitely in order for the ‘stare.’You rock at it, in case anyone ever asks.”

  “Years of perfecting the craft, I guess.”

  “It makes me spill my guts without compunction.”

  “Noted.”

  “Right. Okay, so like I said, I’m going to go now. I don’t think I can handle any more of the ‘stare’ tonight. It’s really unnerving; looking you in the eye is getting about as easy as liposuction minus the anesthesia.”

  “Can I walk you out?” He glanced Archibald’s way, as if seeking confirmation for something.

  Archibald waved him off with a dismissive hand. “I’ll hold your cot, Heathcliff.”

  As he ushered Wanda out, her disbelief made her ask, “Didn’t you just hear what I said? I want to run away and hide now, and you want to walk me out? What is wrong with you? Are you looking to bask in the glow of my humiliation? And what does ‘hold your cot’ mean?”

  “If we aren’t here by five, we lose our spot.You have to wait in line every night for a bed. Archibald’s older. The younger, more streetwise guys won’t let him save one for me if they can stop it.”

  Ohhhhh, how awful. Her heart constricted. All this time she’d thought he was going home to some woman, when he was really leaving so he had a place to sleep at night. How demeaning. Shit. She was scum. “And that makes you feel how?”

  “I dunno, Oprah—grateful to have a place to sleep?”

  The flush of her cheeks deepened. “Sorry. This is me shutting up.” But it explained why he had to leave her house at four thirty every day. To secure a cot—at the homeless shelter, so he and his manservant wouldn’t be sleeping on the sidewalk.

  Jesus.

  Of all the scenarios she’d put together in her mind about Heath, this had never been one of them. Now she’d gone and pried into his business and exposed something that had to be very humiliating for a man who was as confident as Heath.

  Way. To. Go.

  When they entered the shelter’s foyer, Nina and Marty exchanged confused looks, then focused in on Wanda. “Ya all right, Wanda?” Nina asked, coming to stand beside her and place a protective arm around her shoulder.

  She slapped on a cheerful half smile and nodded her head with vigor. “Yep. Right as rain. Fine as the day is long. Good, good, good.”

  Heath leaned in next to her ear as he stuck a hand out to Nina. “You’re rambling again,” he whispered, then turned his attention to Nina and Marty. “I’m Heath Jefferson. Good to meet you.”

  Nina gave him the killa glare before finally accepting his hand with reluctance. “Nina Statleon, and this is Marty Flaherty.”

  Marty smiled, smoothing a hand over her blonde ha
ir. “Heath. Nice name. So you ready, Wanda?”

  Heath looked to both Marty and Nina. “I’d like a moment alone with Wanda.”

  “Uh-huh, and I wouldn’t like you to have that moment,” Nina, immediately on the defensive, spoke up abruptly.

  “I understand your hesitation. Nina’s your name, right? But I promise, she’s safe here with me.”

  Nina crossed her arms over her chest, planting her feet wide. The rustle of her trench coat echoed in the cold, sterile foyer. “Yep, that’s my name, and look, man—this place is creepy. Sucks to be you, being so down on your luck and having to live here and all. I can totally relate in ways you’ll never understand, but there are some seriously unsavory types hanging around here—and we have no proof you aren’t one of the gang. So, have your moment, or whatever, but keep one thing in mind, if Wanda comes back with a solitary hair on her head missing, I’ll know. And then, I’ll fuck you up for it.”

  Marty looked to Wanda helplessly. “Jesus, Nina! How rude, but really, should we expect anything less of you? Stop being such a potty mouth and knock it off. I’m sorry, Heath. Nina’s . . . well, Nina’s Nina . . .”

  Nina waved a finger under Marty’s pert nose. “Don’t you tell me what to do, Marty Flaherty, and don’t apologize for me. We don’t know this guy from jack shit. He’s been hanging around Wanda for nigh on three weeks now, and we know squat about him. Then we find out he lives in a homeless shelter with another guy who dresses like he’s from one of those History Channel shows, and his car’s got some crazy feminine protection product with wings all over the side of it. Wings, Marty. Forgive me for being suspicious, but I’m just lookin’ out for my own.”

  “Ladies,” Heath’s commanding voice made them both stop and take note. “I understand where you’re coming from. I do have a car advertising a feminine protection product.With wings. As you can see, I’m in no position to say no to some cash. Having your car wrapped is good cash,” he said unapologetically, upping Wanda’s respect for him another level. “It’s not like I don’t know where I live and yes, it can be dangerous—especially after five p.m. when some very questionable characters are all vying for space here in the shelter.You want to reassure yourselves I’m not out to harm Wanda, and that makes you good friends. I promise to stay in your line of vision while I talk to her, but I will talk to her.”

  Wanda shivered, voiceless. Mostly because Nina had shut up, and partly because when Heath made a demand, there was no mistaking his intent.

  And still, he grows hotter.

  Nina sidled up to Heath, standing just below his chin. She’d gotten over her obvious surprise and reverted back to what she was such a master at. Threats. “You make sure that happens, bud. If I lose sight of her—you’re meat.”

  Wanda watched Heath fight a grin. “You have my word.” He pointed to a wall that wasn’t so littered with people. “We’ll be right over there.”

  Wanda followed him, mortified, stupefied, horrified—all sorts of fied. “I’m sorry. Nina’s a long story, and I love her like family, but she’s kind of overprotective.”

  “An understatement if I ever heard one. But she’s right to be careful.You shouldn’t be here, Wanda. It really can be dangerous—especially at this time of night.”

  What could she say? He was right. “Again, I’m sorry. This was sooo wrong of me.”

  “Yep.”

  “Okay, then. Is that all you wanted to say? Or are you into public humiliation, too? I wouldn’t blame you if you ripped me a new one. Go ahead. I can take it. Forget I’m still sort of your supervisor—lay into me. I have no business being here, but once I was, my feet and my curiosity wouldn’t let me leave without talking to you. It was impulsive and intrusive.”

  His face held not a trace of anger—instead it displayed his amusement. “Yep. But I know why you came here, Wanda, and it isn’t just about wondering where I live.”

  She opened her eyes wide, feigning innocence. “It isn’t?” Oh, Wanda ...

  “Nope.”

  “Okay, so if it isn’t about my insatiable curiosity, what’s it about?”

  “It’s about me.”

  “Do tell.”

  “You like me,Wanda.” There was no mistaking his words. They were a statement of fact, not a question.

  Her legs trembled. “Like you? You mean, like you as an employer likes an employee? Definitely. I definitely like you that way.” Definitely. And if employers were allowed to demand that their employees wonk them until their eyeballs rolled to the backs of their heads, she’d be all in—in like, that is.

  He ran a finger under her chin. “No, Wanda. That’s not what I mean, and that isn’t what you mean, either.”

  She let her eyes go wide. “Really? If that’s not what I mean and it’s not what you mean, then what do you mean? Because I don’t know what you mean. In fact, I forget what I mean, too.” Oh, you have not.You know exactly what he means because it’s exactly what you mean ... or something like that.

  “Wanda?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I have no idea what you just said, but I’ll tell you exactly what I mean. I’m just going to be as straightforward as I can—so forgive me if this sounds blunt. You like me. You find me attractive, and that’s the other part of the reason you’re here.”

  How fucking arrogant—egotistical—true. So? “You know what? You’re pretty damned sure of yourself, aren’t you? You’re sure of yourself all the time, in fact. Well, let me tell you a little something, Mr. You Know You Like Me. You might be able to sell a starter kit at a hundred paces, but that doesn’t mean that every woman you come across is going to throw herself at you because you seem to have this magical, mystical aura about you. I’m the exception to the rule, I’ll have you know. I don’t think you’re magical or mystical. So I don’t know where you get off thinking you’re Fabio or something.”

  That eyebrow of condescension rose. “Who’s Fabio?”

  “Forget it. Just get a grip on your big, fat ego and stop reading something into absolutely nothing.”

  “Wanda?”

  “Now what?”

  “I saw your, and excuse my language, Fuck It list.”

  Oh.

  Delightful.

  “So that means you were snooping in my stuff, too.” She realized her voice had risen an octave in panic, she just couldn’t stop it from happening.

  “No, that means you left it on the kitchen counter where anyone could see it. If you remember, Tuesday I think it was, I made the coffee, because you said I made better coffee than you.”

  Oh again. That was true. He did make better coffee. And apparently, he read well, too. She’d pray for death at this point, but it would seem her prayer had been prematurely answered.

  Thankfully, Nina strolled up behind them, tapping Heath on the shoulder just in the nick of time. “Uh, Heath? According to my watch, your time’s up. It’s getting late, and I don’t much like the way I’m hearing raised voices. It means you’ve upset my friend, and I did say if you upset her, I’d kick your ass.”

  Heath swung around, eyeing Nina. “You could hear raised voices over this ruckus?” Loud voices surrounded them. Clearly the men who hadn’t managed to make the five o’clock cutoff for a cot weren’t happy. Wanda had been aware of only the pinpoint of sound their conversation had become. Everything else was muted and dull.

  But it was time to intervene before Nina gave herself up as a night dweller with ears like the Bionic Woman. “Stop, Nina. I’m fine. Let’s go. Heath? First, wherever we go from now on, we’re taking my car. Second, I’ll see you tomorrow at Bobbie-Sue.” She grabbed Nina by the arm and dragged her to Marty, who was leaning against someone’s abandoned shopping cart. “Marty—let’s go.”

  Wanda flew out of the shelter and down the steps, taking big gulps of air, clinging to the railing once she hit the bottom.

  Nina stepped in front of her. “Wanna tell me what that was about?”

  Wanda let her head fall back on her shoulders, but Ma
rty came up behind her and tilted it back up so she could gaze directly into Nina’s eyes. “No. I don’t want to tell you what that was about, and you’d better be more careful. You were pretty far away from the two of us, but you told Heath you could hear us. For a human, that’d be impossible in all that noise.”

  “Never mind that now. What’s this list, Wanda?” Marty asked, jumping down a step to stand beside Nina, planting her hands on her hips.

  Her stomach flopped, but she was quick to reply, hoping her face didn’t betray her and praying Nina hadn’t heard what she’d titled the list. “It’s like a life list.Things I want to do before I die kind of thing.You know, like see Paris in the spring or parachute out of an airplane—maybe get a tattoo.” None of which she wanted to do.

  Nina nodded. “And Heath was on this list?”

  “You heard?”

  Nina’s dark eyes glittered in the harsh glow of the streetlamp. “I swear, I tried to block you out, but it was kinda hard when you were all wide-eyed and doing that thing you do with your hands when you talk and you’re excited. I only heard a little. Wanna tell us why Heath was on the list?”

  “Not particularly.”

  Nina’s face was sympathetic. “Okay, then I’ll say it for you.You wanna do him. Why’s that such a big deal?”

  Wanda groaned. “Because he wasn’t supposed to know I wanted to do him.”

  Nina playfully punched her in the arm. “You left the list on your counter, numbskull.”

  Her face flushed with humiliation. “Like I need to be reminded?”

  Marty chucked her under the chin. “So you like him. It’s not that big a thing.”

  “It is when he reads it off some stupid list of things I want to do before I die.” Christ, there was that word again. Die.

  Nina grinned. “Um, yeah. I see your point. Lust can be a powerful thing—especially if you put the lustee on your list. So you gonna do him?”

  “You’re so black and white, Nina! No, I’m not going to do him.” She didn’t do people. There’d be no doing of anything or anyone. Especially now that Heath knew she wanted to do him.To do him would prove his point, and that was just too humiliating to ponder.

 

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