Oh my god. She can’t seriously be trying to take my child off the float mid parade. She is. She actually is!
I grab her by the hair, yank her back against my front, and cover her mouth with my hand. I’m surprised at the strength in me, but it turns out, yet again, I’ll do anything for Jessica.
Plus, I’ve done so much work to get her to this parade. I’m not having this bitch ruining it now at the last hurdle.
I look around at the other ladies in the crowd. They see, I know they do, but they all turn a blind eye. All no doubt been burnt at some point in the past by Clementine. Clementine, meet karma. She’s a bitch like you.
When the float rounds the corner to finish, I loosen my grip on her. She chooses that moment to elbow me in the ribs.
‘Fuck!’ I gasp, bent over, winded from the pain.
Lottie looks up at me in horror, obviously wondering who I’ve become in the last few minutes. I really shouldn’t be swearing in front of her either, but it was a natural reaction to being elbowed in the ribs! Damn they hurt.
‘How fucking dare you, Ruby!’ She glares at me with such intensity I’m shocked I’m not bursting into flames. ‘I don’t know who you think you are, but you are going to be very sorry you ever crossed me.’
I really try to care, but I just can’t. I’m too happy for Jessica.
‘She’s a mean lady,’ Lottie says, eyes wide.
‘You can say that again, sweetheart.’
I thought that was the last I’d hear of Clementine over the weekend, but I should never have under-estimated her.
For once Barclay is home in time for dinner. I can’t help but fantasize that he rushed home to see me. Pathetic, I know, but a girl can dream.
We’ve barely finished when there’s a knock at the door. Barclay looks towards it, his forehead furrowed.
‘Are you expecting someone, Ruby?’ he asks, as if put out.
God forbid I have any life around these girls.
I shake my head. ‘No, but I’ll get it.’
I run up to the door and swing it open to find two uniformed police officers. Oh God, has there been a break in down the road or something?
‘Hi, can I help you?’ I ask, attempting to discreetly look down the road to see if anywhere has been cordoned off. I hope it’s not a brutal murder.
‘Ruby Campbell?’ the taller policeman asks.
‘Yes,’ I nod with a gulp. What the hell do they want with me?
‘Can we come in?’
Chapter 28
Ruby
‘Err...’ I look back into the kitchen at the table with the girls and Barclay. ‘Yeah, why don’t you come down to my flat so we can talk privately.’ I look back at Barclay. ‘Back in a minute.’
I grab a set of keys, knowing my spare is on there. I run down and let them into my flat, picking up discarded clothes from the floor. Of course, I have two sets of dirty knickers sprawled out. I’m clearly an animal. I quickly kick them underneath the bed.
‘So, what is this about?’ I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.
I already know it’s something to do with Clementine. That spiteful bitch just couldn’t let this go.
‘You’ve been accused of an assault of a Mrs Clementine Allerton.’
Oh my God. I knew it. She rang the police on me. That little rat. Hasn’t she heard that snitches get stitches? I wish I was strong and brave enough to knock her out, but I’d probably just break my hand.
‘An assault?’ I attempt a scoff, but it comes out as a hysterical tinny laugh. Way to look innocent, Ruby. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Mrs Allerton claims that you hit her, restrained her and attempted to shut off her air supply.’
I roll my eyes. Don’t tempt me.
‘Yeah, I don’t think so!’ I laugh, attempting to appear carefree and innocent.
I take a breath, ready to go into my side of events when my internal door suddenly opens. I turn to see Barclay walking in. He takes in the two police officers, his forehead wrinkled in concern. Well this doesn’t look good.
‘Ruby, what’s going on?’ He doesn’t sound angry, more worried on my behalf. It actually warms my heart. Maybe he does like me a little.
‘Um... I’ve been accused of assault,’ I admit begrudgingly, looking to the floor and spotting yet another pair of knickers. Damn it, Ruby! I quickly kick them out of view.
He stands by my side. It’s a simple act of solidarity, but it means the world to me.
‘You can’t be serious. Do we need a lawyer?’
I love that he referred to us as a we. For a second I imagine us as a couple, raising the girls together. I quickly shake those thoughts away. I’m clearly getting hysterical.
The policeman grimaces. ‘I’m afraid that you might, sir. We don’t have enough evidence to take Miss Campbell in, but any help with our enquiries at the station would be appreciated.’
I’m about to offer to go down there to clear this all up when Barclay stops me with a hand on my arm. It causes goosepimples to appear all over my body. Damn it, this man has no idea what he does to me.
‘As she’s not under arrest you can ask any questions you’d like to here, with me present.’
The policeman steels his jaw, obviously pissed he knows what he’s talking about. I have no idea how. He must watch a lot of crime dramas.
‘Very well.’ He turns to me. ‘Can you please tell me, in your own words, what happened?’ He gets out a pen and little black note pad.
I swallow, a lump suddenly in my throat. ‘Well, I was watching the girls in the parade and she came over asking me to do a load of filing for the PTA. After being her lackey for the best part of two weeks, I refused. Then she started trying to stop the float to get our Jessica off it.’
‘You can’t be serious?’ Barclay asks, his jaw ever so slightly open.
I nod, glad he’s just as outraged as I was.
‘So, I just...well I tried to stop her.’ I pull at my cardigan, suddenly hot.
‘Did that involve choking her?’ the policeman asks with an accusing stare.
‘Please don’t put words in her mouth,’ Barclay snaps.
Him sticking up for me is making me feel all kinds of inappropriately hot for him. I’m tingling in places I shouldn’t be.
‘No, I just... pulled on her arm so she couldn’t stop the parade. Jessica would have been devastated. But I at no point tried to choke her or shut off her air supply.’
A little white lie won’t hurt, right?
‘Can’t you see how this is just a big misunderstanding?’ Barclay offers with a tight smile. ‘Just some PTA matters gone wrong.’
He nods, closing his notebook. ‘We have to investigate any claims, you understand. I’ll speak to the list of witnesses, but as long as they’re singing from the same hymn sheet, we should have no problems dismissing her claims.’
Shit. The PTA women. They’re bound to take her side.
‘Great,’ Barclay smiles, squeezing me on the shoulder, obviously thinking this is over. This is so far from over.
He shows the policeman to the door, thanking him for understanding.
What the hell am I going to do? Will I be charged with it? That’ll stay on my record. Damn it. I’ll never work again.
As soon as the door is shut Barclay walks over to me. Do I see the hint of amusement from the creases of his eyes? Or is he cross? It’s so hard to tell.
‘Now, do you want to tell me the real story?’
I roll my eyes, cross my arms and sit down on the edge of my bed like a stroppy teenager.
‘Fine, I may have... been more... persuasive than I first described.’
He raises his eyebrows, sitting down next to me.
‘But I didn’t choke her,’ I quickly add. ‘She’s just being dramatic.’
He smirks. ‘Well, I want to thank you for sticking up for Jessica. Not many people would go to those....’ His mouth twists with a smile. ‘Extremes, to protect her.’
> I push his shoulder with mine like a juvenile.
‘Yeah, yeah, I’m a thug. But at least I was a thug for Jessica.’
‘Exactly.’ He nods.
He glances down at my lips, as if distracted by them. I don’t know why, they’re nothing special. Shit, is he thinking about kissing me? Our bodies are so close. I can feel the heat from his chest. God, how I want to rub my fingertips down it, feel his heart beating beneath them.
‘I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me,’ I whisper, trying to be funny but instead it comes out strangely sexual; my voice husky, me panting for him.
He leans in at the same time as I do.
It’s happening again. It’s happening and I’m not strong enough to stop it.
‘Ruby!’
We both turn our heads to find Jessica and Lottie barrelling through the door.
‘What happened? Why were the police here?’
Well, it looks like our almost moment is gone. Yet again.
Barclay
What the fuck am I doing? I was mere centimetres away from her lips. If the girls hadn’t had run in, I’d have kissed her. Again. But damn, hearing her go crazy protecting Jessica just had me thinking crazy for a moment.
What is it about Ruby that just makes all rational thoughts go rushing from my head? Maybe it’s because I know I’ve already fired her, that she’s already leaving. I’ve always wanted what I can’t have. There’s no prospect of it actually going anywhere.
Yeah, that must be it. It must be. God knows I’m not emotionally available enough for a real relationship. I’m still in love with Claire.
I need to stop. I’m confusing myself and Ruby by letting my teenage hormones take control. I’m a man and my dick needs to listen up; this can never happen.
I go up to my bedroom, needing space away from everyone. Just give me a second to myself. Even then I’m hoping Ruby follows me up.
‘Barclay.’
Shit, I nearly jump out of my skin. Mrs Dumfy is behind me folding laundry.
‘You nearly scared the life out of me.’ I put my hand to my chest, my heart beating erratically. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Just doing the laundry,’ she smiles. ‘Actually, I did want to talk to you. About Ruby.’
‘Oh?’ Jesus, what has she done now? Upset Mrs Dumfy. She must have really gone to town to do that. The woman is so even tempered. It’s the only way she’s managed to put up with me all these years.
‘What’s going on between the two of you?’ she asks with a quirked eyebrow.
‘Nothing,’ I quickly reply. Far too quickly.
She looks at me with one raised eyebrow, as if to say pull the other one.
‘Don’t lie to me, Barclay. I would have thought after all these years you’d at least afford me the truth.’
I sigh. Why is it everywhere I go in this house there are feisty females wanting something from me?
‘The truth is, I have no idea what is happening between us. I just know that nothing can ever come from it. She’s my employee and I’m her boss, end of story.’
She leaves the laundry and walks to stand in front of me.
‘Don’t let a simple thing like that get in your way. I can tell she likes you too, so why not?’
She wants a reason why Ruby and I can’t be together? Is she actually serious right now?
‘Why not? I’ll tell you exactly why not. Because I’m in love with Claire and I will be forever. Because the last time I let myself love someone she went and died. Because I don’t want to feel that kind of happiness again, even if I could.’
‘Oh, Barclay.’ She smiles kindly. ‘Don’t let what’s happened to you make you hard. Don’t let the pain make you hate. Don’t let the bitterness of what’s happened to you steal your sweetness.’
I drop my head. Yet again she’s called me out on my bullshit, just like Ruby does, albeit with far kinder words. She forces me into a hug, patting me on the back.
‘Just think about it, Barclay, hmm?’
Little does she know I’ve fired her and she’s leaving. We all need to get used to it; Ruby will be leaving after Christmas and that’s final.
Chapter 29
Saturday 21st December
Ruby
We’ve been so busy with school stuff and buying Christmas presents that Saturday comes around far quicker than I’d have liked. God knows I’ve been avoiding Barclay. I have no idea why I turn into a lustful bimbo around him. It’s so annoying, but it’s not like it’s completely one sided. I‘m starting to think he just likes teasing me. It’s all a moot point anyway because I’m leaving, and he hasn’t asked me to stay. I need to get my life together and contact the agency. See if I can still get that South of France position.
I’ve half been expecting to find myself arrested. I mean, surely the policeman would have spoken to the other PTA mums by now? I would have thought they would have dobbed me in, scared of Clementine’s repercussions. I’m flinching at every knock of the door.
I’m scrabbling round trying to find clothes both warm enough as well as sturdy enough for ice skating after swimming. I don’t want them hurting themselves if they go over. Lottie’s already at a disadvantage with her broken wrist.
She’s also a little hard to get into jeans and prefers pretty dresses. She insists on wearing her pink glitter tutu over jeans, teaming it with her purple wellies. She looks like a crazy child, but I’ve realised that if you fight her, she digs her heels in more. To think she was the scared, clingy child when I first arrived and now she’s bossing me around.
We stand outside of Somerset House looking around for Daddy, bouncing from foot to foot to try and keep ourselves warm. It’s so cold every time the wind hits my face it’s like a slap to the cheek. Well I won’t miss this in the South of France.
It’s three minutes past one and I’m already worried they’re going to give our booking away. It’s packed. If he lets them down, I might have to murder him.
Still, the thought of seeing him, having to spend a day with him has my stomach doing somersaults. I really need to get over this crush. Barclay clearly just likes playing with my emotions. I’m nothing but a toy to him, I remind myself. My heart begs with me not to listen to my head.
‘Do you think Daddy is coming?’ Lottie asks, looking up at me with those huge almond shaped hazel eyes.
‘Probably not,’ Jessica says, kicking a stone on the floor, trying to appear unbothered. ‘Probably got called away with a work thing.’
Bless her, it’s as if she’s resigned to the fact, he’s going to let her down. I suppose she doesn’t want to raise her hopes for them just to be dashed.
‘He wouldn’t do that, would he, Ruby?’ Lottie asks looking up at me, her eyes filled with unshed tears.
I look away, desperately clawing for any better excuse when I spot him hurrying down the road. I can’t help it, my face lights up as soon as I see him. He made it. He kept his promise to the girls.
‘He’s here!’ I shout, pointing towards him.
They break away from my hands and run towards him, practically rugby tackling him. My heart swells in my chest. He kept his promise.
He walks over, carrying Lottie, Jessica clinging to his leg.
‘Sorry I’m late,’ he apologises to me with a shy smile.
For a second he actually looks like a bashful little boy. I suppose it is awkward with us having kissed twice and almost kissed another two times. At least it’s not just me feeling weird. He does have a heart, even if it is buried deep behind his heartache.
‘No worries,’ I shrug, like the most laid back person in the world. Not someone who a minute ago was planning his murder.
We queue up and finally get our skates. They ask if we’d like instructors for the girls. We thank them, but insist we’ll be fine, but we do get a polar bear stabiliser thing for Lottie, so she doesn’t fall down. Jessica insists she’s too grown up for it.
We have a few falls, a few tears, but after ab
out thirty minutes we’ve found our groove and we’re having fun. It isn’t the clear blue skied day I was hoping for. It’s quite grey and already seems a bit dark, but it somehow makes it the more magical. The fairy lights are having their chance to shine.
I skate a bit ahead of them, having skated every Christmas since I can remember I’ve got the edge on speed, and turn to pull my phone out. I take a few snaps before they even realise.
‘Are you taking our photo?’ Jessica asks with a pout and frown. ‘I hate photos.’
Six-year-olds can be such divas.
‘Since when?’ Barclay asks with the same identical frown as her. God they’re cuties.
‘Since you hate them,’ she answers with a shrug.
He raises his eyebrows at me before leaning down to her, almost toppling over.
‘I don’t hate photos, sweetheart. Why do you think that?’
She shrugs, not meeting his eyes. ‘Because you don’t have any up anymore. You took them all down.’
He looks to me, obviously embarrassed to be having to discuss this with me around. Just a common nanny. I look away, deciding to keep a close eye on Lottie instead.
‘That’s not because I hate photos, baby. I just...’ He swallows, his Adams apple bobbing up and down. ‘I get sad sometimes looking at photos of Mummy. I thought it was easier if I put them away.’
‘Well, I love photos,’ Lottie says, posing for my phone. I can’t believe I ever thought she was shy.
‘Maybe you can put the ones of mummy in my room?’’ Jessica suggests, avoiding his eye contact, scared of the rejection.
He looks to me, his eyes full of vulnerability. I see every ounce of hurt and fear he holds so close to his chest.
He pulls her into a hug. ‘We’ll sort it out.’
He looks up at me, clearly worried. He’s probably already thinking she needs to go to therapy; drama queen that he is.
‘Okay,’ I interject, wanting to lighten the mood. ‘So now we can agree we all like photos, let’s take some.’
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