Reach for Heaven

by Marie Higgins

  It had only been a week since Albert’s quick departure, but Adella’s boredom consumed her mind and left her restless. Even working at the livery didn’t help to calm her aggravation. She stayed away from Gage, knowing if he released even one syllable in her presence, her temper would explode, and in the process, leave her with a wounded heart. Yet, life was not the same without him.

  She seriously thought about returning home, but wanting to help her uncle kept her here for now. She knew she wouldn’t be able to stay for very long since she needed to return to Lewiston and prepare for when school was back in session. Not only that, but she missed her sisters terribly. Yet, something made her stay here...and she had a sinking feeling she knew what it was.

  Albert’s hasty departure entered her mind again, and she viciously chopped off the end of the carrot. Her family had wondered why he’d left in such a rush, but Adella wouldn’t speak of it. She didn’t want to ruin the image they held for him, mainly because she was afraid they wouldn’t believe her if she confessed the truth. Albert had done such a good job sugar-coating himself, her cousins practically idolized him, and poor Elizabeth couldn’t stop walking around with that dazed love-sick expression. Even her aunt and uncle thought he was an angel sent from heaven. How could she tell them that Albert’s one-track mind was far from that exalted place?

  Just thinking about the roughness as he’d forced his slobbery kisses on her, made her whack the knife on the cutting board, totally missing the carrot. She hadn’t realized she’d made such a scene until she looked up and saw the horrified stares from her aunt and Violet.

  Lillian gasped. “My dear, what in heaven’s name is wrong?”

  Adella laid the knife on the table and gave an innocent smile. “Nothing.”

  Violet tilted her head and studied her. “I’m afraid to ask what pictures are lurking in that head of yours.”

  Adella laughed. “It’s nothing, really.”

  Lillian relaxed and smiled. “So, my dear, have you heard from your Mr. Owens lately?”

  Adella’s hand tightened around the handle of the knife and her brows furrowed together. “No, Aunt Lillian.” She quickly laid another carrot on the cutting board, and chopped it into uneven slices. “Besides, he’s not my Mr. Owens. Why? Have you heard from him?”

  Lillian chuckled. “Why would he contact me?”

  Adella shrugged.

  “I got the impression he was sweet on you,” her aunt continued.

  “We are only friends.”

  “That’s what Violet and Gage used to say.” Lillian turned to Violet. “Now look at them. They’re getting married.”

  Adella glanced across the table at her cousin. Violet picked up a potato; her movements quicker than before as she peeled off the skin. Eyes downcast, she pursed her lips together tightly.

  Aunt Lillian continued as if she didn’t notice her daughter’s frustration. “Ella, you tell that Mr. Owens he is always welcomed here. In fact, your uncle would like to get to know the mayor’s son a little better next time he pays you a visit.”

  After a few seconds of her taking deep breaths, Violet set her knife on the table and leaned forward and touched the older woman’s. “Ma? I think Adella is worried Pa will do to Albert what he did to Gage.”

  “What is that, Violet, dear?”

  Violet took another deep breath and squared her shoulders. “Before Gage and I became engaged, Pa came right out and asked Gage when he was going to marry me,” she explained. “It not only embarrassed Gage, but forced him into doing something he didn’t want to do.”

  Adella let out a loud gasp and stopped the knife in mid stroke as she stared wide-eyed at Violet.

  Lillian’s brows furrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean? Your pa didn’t force Gage.”

  Adella kept her stare on Violet’s expression, hoping her cousin would tell the truth. Adella’s heart hammered in anticipation.

  Closing her eyes briefly, Violet took another deep breath before looking at her mother. “Ma? I have a confession to make, and I seriously hope it doesn’t affect your feelings for Gage.”

  Lillian reached out and grasped Violet’s hands. “What is it, my dear?”

  “Gage and I...don’t love each other any longer.”

  “What?” Lillian blurted, and Adella clutched the side of the table to keep from sliding off her chair in shock.

  Violet patted Ma’s hands. “Would you lower your voice? I don’t want Pa knowing this yet.” Violet stood and walked over to the sink. “Gage and I were in love at one time, or at least what we thought was love. I know now it was only a schoolgirl’s crush, and over the years of seeing each other off and on, everybody just assumed we were in love. Pa even assumed, and that was when he asked Gage when he was going to marry me. Gage really wasn’t planning on it, but because Pa seemed so elated, Gage couldn’t deny Pa’s wishes.” She paused, but only briefly. “I kept going forward with the wedding because I was too afraid to tell Pa. I didn’t want to break his heart, especially now.”

  “Oh, my poor dear.” Lillian moved to Violet and wrapped her arms around her in a hug. “You’ll never be able to break his heart. Your pa wants to see all of his daughters happy, and if it means breaking the engagement with Gage, then he’ll approve.”

  “Ma?” She pulled away. “Gage and I have already stopped our plans. We were just waiting for the right time to tell Pa.”

  “How long have you known you weren’t in love with Gage?”

  “For a while now.” Violet’s smile widened as a tint of pink painted her cheeks. “Ever since I fell in love with somebody else.”

  Lillian’s eyes widened, and Adella thought for sure she’d fall off the chair this time. She gasped aloud, and questioned before her aunt could. “You’re in love with another man?”

  Violet laughed. “It was easy for me to fall in love with Clint, because I was never really in love with Gage.”

  Adella laughed. “Clint?”

  “Clint Slade?” Lillian blurted.

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, my lands.” Lillian shrieked giddily as she hugged Violet again. “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about disappointing Pa in the least.”

  Tears gathered in Violet’s eyes as she returned her mother’s hug. Violet glanced at Adella and smiled.

  Lillian pulled away. “Let’s tell Pa tonight.”

  Violet frowned. “No, Ma. Gage wants to be with me when I tell him. It’s only fair.”

  “All right.” Lillian turned to Adella. “We need to find the boys so they can fetch Gage right away. I want him here tonight as soon as possible.”

  “But Ma,” Violet interjected, “they’re at the stable closing for the night.” She turned to Adella and grinned. “Adella can get Gage.”

  Suddenly, Adella’s happiness disappeared. Heat rushed through her and made her hands clammy. She couldn’t. Would she be polite or spout hateful words at him? Or worse...would she fall into his arms and beg for his love and his respect to marry her?

  Aunt Lillian yanked Adella’s arm, bringing her out of the chair toward the back door. “Hurry, child, we don’t have time to waste.”

  “But...but...I have to help make dinner.” She prayed the excuse she gave would work, but when her aunt kept pulling her into the other room to fetch a shawl, Adella realized she was going to get Gage whether she wanted to or not.

  “Aunt Lillian, I think I should stay and help—”

  “Hogwash. We have enough women in this house right now to make dinner.”

  Her aunt wouldn’t let Adella dally. The older woman was right behind her, pushing her until she was out the door. She slowly shuffled her feet to the barn and hitched the one horse buggy, but her aunt ran out behind her, shooing her slowness. “Hurry as if fire were on your heels.”

  With a heavy heart, Adella nodded then climbed into the vehicle.

  She stretched the ride to Gage and Clint’s house and arrived in ten minutes, even though it only took half that time if she rode quickl
y. The fast beat of her heart told her she actually looked forward to seeing him again—and seeing his reaction to Violet’s confession. Adella wondered why it was so important to her. No matter what, Gage didn’t want to marry her.

  A small light shone through the front window. She stopped the one-horse buggy then set the brake. Taking a deep breath, she jumped from the vehicle. On wobbly legs, she walked to the front door and knocked.

  Gage opened the door, and the sight of his handsome face knocked her senseless. She held her breath as she ran her gaze over him. His beige shirt tempted her as a hint of skin showed at his neck, and curse his hide for looking so incredible in those blue jeans that molded to his muscular legs as his stockinged feet peeked from below. His eyes widened and a smile appeared on his sensual mouth. Although his smile made her knees weak, she kept her lips pursed in a solemn expression. Soon, his smile disappeared and worried lines claimed his face. He took her hands in his and pulled her inside the warm cabin.

  “Has something happened to Marvin?”

  His kindness nearly shattered her defenses and melted her heart. It was good to see he cared so much about Uncle Marvin. “No, Gage. My uncle is fine.”

  He breathed a heavy sigh. “Good.” He crinkled his forehead. “Then what’s wrong?”

  She pasted on a smile as she tried to calm down her madly beating heart. “My aunt sent me to get you. Violet has finally told her about your engagement being canceled, and Lillian wants the two of you to tell Marvin tonight.”

  His brows lifted. “Violet finally confessed? I can’t believe it. How did Lillian take the news?”

  Adella chuckled. “Believe it or not, she’s ecstatic. It shocked her to think the two of you didn’t love each other, but she was happy to know that Violet is in love with Clint.”

  Gage’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “What?” His voice escalated. “Violet and Clint?”

  “You didn’t know, either?”

  “I suspected, but then I dismissed the idea.” He hesitated, before whooping a loud shout of joy, as he lifted Adella and swung her around once. “Can you believe it? Clint and Violet?”

  She laughed over Gage’s enthusiasm and rested her hands on his shoulders. Pleasure filled her heart the longer she remained in his arms. Curse her hide, but she didn’t want this emotion to end. “No, I can’t believe it. As many times I’ve seen them together lately, I never knew they felt that way about each other.”

  “I’m glad Clint has finally found the right woman. Let’s just hope your uncle takes it as well.”

  “Lillian seems to think he will, which is the reason she sent me here to get you.”

  “Wait a moment. I’ll get my boots on.”

  When he released her, the loss of his warmth sapped her strength. Closing her eyes, she breathed deeply, trying to calm her racing heart. Once she felt in control, she straightened her stance and opened her eyes. Without a doubt, she would fall into his arms tonight and beg for him to love her. As weak as her heart was right now, she knew it would happen, but she couldn’t let it. She’d never been helpless in her life and she didn’t want to start now.

  “Gage?” she called out. “I’ll just meet you back at the house.”

  “No. If you leave, I won’t be able to get there. My horse threw a shoe earlier this evening.”

  She grumbled under her breath. “Where is Clint?”

  “The Marshall has him staying in Boise for the next couple of days.” His voice came down the hall.

  “What’s in Boise?”

  “Leads.”

  “Leads?”

  “Yes, information leading them to the Buchanan Gang.”

  “I really hope that gang is caught soon,” she said, inwardly wishing that she’d be the one to capture them and take the reward.

  Gage walked back into the room. Frozen in place, she stood as her gaze roamed over him again, loving the way his shirt tightened around the cords of muscles in his arms. He’d always look handsome no matter what he wore.

  Slowly, he walked toward her, but she remained still. When his gaze moved down to her silvery-gray dress, shivers of delight coursed through her blood. Nothing had changed, especially the way he could always make her heart pitter-patter. She loved him, but he didn’t return her feelings. Her life was destined for loneliness without him by her side. He stepped in front of her and the pounding of her heart echoed in her ears.

  “You look beautiful tonight, Adella.”

  She smiled as her face flamed. “Thank you. You look very handsome, too. How are you feeling? Is your shoulder healed completely?” She hesitantly touched his shirt.

  “Yes. I’m back to normal. I’ve even ordered the wood to build a barn on my new land, and I started moving some of my things into the new cabin.”

  “That’s good.”

  “How about you?” he asked. “How have you been faring?”

  “Fine.”

  He glanced down at the floor and shuffled his feet. “Are you still seeing Albert?”

  “No.”

  His gaze jumped up and met with hers. “I’m sorry he wasn’t the man you wanted him to be.”

  Her smile disappeared. He must have heard what happened. But of course, if her cousins knew, Gage would certainly hear. “I don’t think there is a man who can fit that mold.”

  “What mold is that?”

  Dare she tell him? She wanted to—oh, how she wanted to blurt out, I love you, Gage. I’ll probably love you until the day I die. But, her stubborn pride held back the confession.

  “Albert didn’t respect my wishes.”

  He shrugged. “Perhaps he’ll change someday.”

  His nonchalant attitude made her want to cry, so she quickly turned and stepped toward the door before he noticed her threatening tears. “Maybe he will,” she snapped. “We better go. We shouldn’t keep my aunt waiting any longer.”

  He grabbed hold of her arm, stopping her. Heated tingles shot through her body from his touch.

  “Adella, wait.”

  He stepped in front of her, and for the first time she noticed sadness in his eyes. Her heart broke a little more.

  “Adella? What do you want from me?”

  She breathed deeply, mainly to control her tears. “I don’t want anything from you.”

  “Then why—” He paused, staring deeply into her eyes.

  “Why what?”

  Gently, he caressed the fabric on her sleeve, then ran his knuckles up and down her arms. “I keep getting mixed signals from you, and I’m very confused.”

  “I’m not sending you signals, Gage.”

  “Then why do your beautiful eyes light up whenever you look at me?” He moved his hand and softly stroked the side of her face. “Sometimes I catch you studying me, and the emotion written on your face is so tender I can feel it clear to my soul.” His tongue wet his lips. “And why do you still shiver from my touch?”

  Her body responded from his comment, making her heart rate increase. The conversation was getting out of hand, and her control would break any minute.

  “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” she whispered, afraid her voice would crack. She took a step back, but once again, he grabbed both of her shoulders, pulling her body up against him. When that familiar spark ignited inside her, she gasped.

  “Yes, Adella. I think you know exactly what I mean. Just like now. You can feel it. I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it through your body.”

  She couldn’t deny it, but yet what good would it do to admit her true feelings? He’d never be able to think of her as a woman he could marry.

  “Does it matter? Does it really matter, Gage?” Her voice broke. After moistening her dry throat, she started again. “Fine, if you want to know the truth, I’ll tell you, but I promise you it won’t solve a thing.”

  Gathering all the courage she could find, she took a deep breath and prepared her confession, but just as she opened her mouth to speak, the clip-clop of a horse’s hooves in the yard broke her concen
tration. Gage grumbled before he stepped to the front door and pulled it open.

  Nate jerked on the reins and stopped the horse in front of the porch and jumped down. “Ma sent me to see what was taking so long.”

  Adella quickly stepped past Gage and ran to Nate’s horse. “Your ma is very impatient, isn’t she?” she spoke over her shoulder. “Well, she’ll just have to keep her pantaloons on because we’re on our way.”

  She lifted her skirts and mounted the horse, not caring that it didn’t have a sidesaddle. “Nate? Will you bring Gage in the buggy? Right now I’m in no mood to argue with anyone.”

  She yanked on the reins, pushing the horse forward. Her tears began sliding down her cheeks, and she hoped Gage couldn’t see. There was no way she wanted to explain to him why she was crying, and why her heart was breaking all over again.

  Chapter Twenty

  Adella stood with her back against the wall in the living room, leaning her head against the hardness. From the moment the family had gathered to listen to Gage and Violet’s confession, Adella was unable to take her eyes off Gage’s handsome face. As the words from the conversation flitted through the air, her mind didn’t register what was being said. All she could think about was hiding her own feelings.

  She’d ignored the yearnings of her heart because of Gage’s engagement to Violet, but that was no longer necessary. He held some kind of feelings for her, the night he was drunk and the time at the livery proved that. Unfortunately, he didn’t think she was qualified to be his wife.

  Shadows danced across Gage’s face from the few lamps in the room, making him appear ruggedly handsome. Whenever his eyes moved her way, their entrancing power sent tingles through her body clear down to her toes. As always when he studied her, her stomach fluttered in giddiness.

  Staying in the same room with Gage was pure torture. She needed to leave. Hiding in the bedroom wouldn’t solve anything, but at least her skin wouldn’t tingle when his gaze slid over her, and his masculine scent of cedar and leather wouldn’t make her weak in the knees.

  Banishing her out-of-control thoughts, she quickly decided when Gage and Violet were finished talking to Uncle Marvin, she’d sneak up to her room for the remainder of the evening, mainly because she worried that Gage would want her to finish their conversation. Under no circumstances could she do that. She’d been weak back at his cabin, and she couldn’t let herself get that way again.