by JA Huss
He’s at his desk, his eyeglasses that he only uses to read financial statements perched on the bridge of his nose.
I mutter, “Fuck,” under my breath. Because that means I’m gonna get a lecture about ‘the bottom line’ today.
“Ark,” he says in that stern fatherly voice he’s always used on me. His hair is not gray—I’m not sure if he dyes it or what, but it’s a rich medium brown. And his build is still solid and trim, just like he was twenty years younger. I guess that’s what Silvie sees in him. But you know, the guy’s a porn mogul so… “I’m not happy about your latest failure to provide.”
I have to stop the eye roll. “Ray,” I say, taking a seat in one of two leather chairs in front of his desk. “The last time we failed to provide was a year and a half ago.”
“I know, Ark. But it took me months to recover from that. It’s still fresh.”
Such bullshit. But if this is his angle, I can play. “How can I make it up to you then? Hmm?” I just want to cut this short. I know that JD is screwing that girl at home right now and I’d like to get back there before he marks her with piss and my chances of keeping her for myself are blown out of the water.
And then Ray does what he usually does when he knows he’s gonna get what he wants from someone. He steeples his fingertips under his chin and leans forward. “I have a movie.”
“When do you need me and what kind of shots will it require? Location or studio?”
He smiles. Like big. And that’s when I know he doesn’t want me to run the cameras. “I have a cameraman, Ark. I need an actor.”
“OK, so call JD.”
He shakes his head. “They don’t want JD. They want you.”
“Who?” What the fuck is this?
“A couple from the ranch. They want to make a sex tape and they want you to join in. They saw you a few weeks ago and the wife thought you were exactly her type.”
“Well, you better let her know she’s mistaken, Ray. I’m not participating in any movies.”
He smiles again.
Fuck. “What?”
“I told them you’d say that. So they said they don’t need cameras. Just a…” He struggles for the word. I’m about to fill in the blank with whore, when Ray says, “Date.”
What the fuck is this? “No. I don’t do dates and I don’t do guys.”
“Oh, he just wants to watch, Ark.” Ray gets up and walks around his desk to take the seat next to me. It’s a ploy to make me feel like he’s not the one in charge here by sitting behind the desk. He wants us to feel like equals. “It’s a personal favor, Ark. For me. You owe me two films and I need this. She wants you. She gets you.”
“You don’t own me, Ray. I’m not a whore you can pimp out. I make movies and give them to you in exchange for money. That’s all. If you’d like to cut our business short, I’m happy to sell my holdings, my loft, and get the fuck out of here so you can run your porn site all by yourself. I’m not your whore.”
He sighs and gets up to pour a drink. “Scotch?”
“Fuck, no,” I say. He knows I don’t drink that shit.
He shrugs and helps himself to three ice cubes and three fingers of the golden oak-colored liquid. “Look, it’s one day. Today, in fact. One afternoon. They’ve got the hotel room booked and everything. All you have to do is show up, fuck her senseless, and that’s it. The husband will be in the other room, he’ll walk in on you at some point. He’ll slap his wife around a little, and then you get to finish her off.”
The whole time he’s talking I’m shaking my head. “No way.”
“I’ll tell you what, Ark.” He stops to take a sip of his Scotch. “I know you’re all set to launch Public Fuck America in December. I know you need start-ups to get you off the ground. Just like I needed you when you came to me four years ago. So if you do me this favor, if you get this asshole off my back, I will personally hand you ten of my best producers to give you one video a week.”
“What?” I must be hearing things. He thinks I’d sell myself out to get producers?
“Not all top-tier, of course. I can’t give you all my earners. Plus you and JD are number one, so I only have nine left after you leave. Make that eight, if you take this deal. So one producer from the top ten, one from the top twenty, and the rest from the top one hundred.”
I say nothing. But I’m still thinking about the implications of him asking. What am I to Ray? An asset? That word in my head sends a chill up my spine.
“It’s a good deal, Ark. A great deal in fact. It sets you up just the way you wanted. No more camera work. No more legwork. No more hustling girls every week. You get ten videos a week coming in, that’s a nice easy start to a billion-dollar business. You know none of my guys are gonna walk with you. You know you’d never get a top-ten producer to make films for you once a week. This is gold. And all you have to do is fuck a pretty woman to get it.”
Even though my head is shaking no, I can’t stop my mind from racing with the possibilities of what this might mean. More money. More power. More excuses to stick around and talk myself into thinking this life I’ve made is my destination.
“Ark, it’s an easy out.”
“No.” I laugh. “It’s an easy in. And I’m not doing it. I’ll have your movies by the end of the day.” And then I stand up, ready to walk out, when he grabs my wrist. I look down at it and he lets go. When I find his face, it’s got a look I’m not sure I like.
“Why, Ark? Just give me a good reason why you’re too good to let a woman suck your dick. You watch JD do it every day. You let him sell himself every single day. And yet you’re always too good.”
“I’m not too good, Ray. In fact, I’ll be back with three movies of lips wrapped around my own cock. But you’re not my fucking pimp.”
“You’re JD’s pimp.”
I stare down at him. He crosses his legs like he hasn’t got a care in the world. “What the fuck is wrong with you today? I’ve never said yes because it’s not my job. It’s JD’s job. You don’t see him running the camera. He likes getting his dick sucked in public. Me, not so much. So that’s why I do what I do and he does what he does.”
“And there’s nothing more to it than that? I mean, what? You have a girlfriend? Is that who’s gonna suck your dick on film today?”
Alarms are going off in my head right now. “That’s none of your business, but no, Ray. I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Then who is your go-to girl, Ark? And why don’t you have a real name? I’ve known you four years and never a real name.”
I laugh now, but it’s a nervous laugh. “What the hell is going on? If you’ve got a problem with me, say so. Otherwise I’m outta here. I’m gonna go make your movies and be back tonight with the product. On time. Fully edited. Ready to be uploaded. And we’re gonna be settled until next Sunday. Got it?”
He stands and walks back around to the other side of his massive desk. He shuffles some papers, making me wait for an answer. I huff out a breath and turn to walk out, with or without his acknowledgment, when he talks. “There’s something about you, Ark.”
Where is this coming from?
“There’s something strange about you. There’s always been something strange about you. You blew into town from… where again?” He lifts his eyes up from the desk and trains them on me. “Where did you come from?”
“You know exactly where I came from, Ray. Miami.”
“But you weren’t born there.”
“You know what’s funny here? I’ve worked with you for four years and now that I’m getting ready to break ties—a legitimate break that you’ve known about since the day we started business—you’re turning into an asshole. I was born in Nebraska, Ray. I ordered my birth certificate online right in front of you and had it delivered right here. To you. You fingerprinted me. You scanned my retina, for fuck’s sake. You paraded me in front of every criminal you knew at a party in LA. And none of them knew me. And no dirt ever materialized. And I’ve worked for you for
four years and nothing ever happened. So what is going on? Because from my end it looks like you’re out to screw me over now that JD and I are making this move.”
“Now you see where I’m coming from.”
“No, Ray,” I shake my head. “No, I actually do not see where you’re coming from. I make porn videos. I made a shitload for you and now I’m gonna make a shitload for me. And maybe, if I’m lucky, in a year or two I’m gonna be set just like you are. Have I ever fucked with your business? And as far as that goes, when it comes to the movies, we run a legitimate business. All of us. We’re one hundred percent on the up and up. So why this is even coming up, I have no idea. Because I’ve got nothing on you. You’re an open book as far as I can see. We’re friends. More than friends. I’d never fuck you over and I expect the same loyalty back.”
He takes a deep breath and sits down in his chair. He nods to the chair in front of his desk one more time and I can sense we’re gonna set this right, so I walk back over and take a seat.
“OK,” he says after a few seconds of silence. “I get it. I’m just being paranoid.”
“Why though? I mean, if something’s happening and it involves me and JD, we need to know.”
He shakes his head. “No, I’m just worried that I’ve made mistakes. And I’ve relied on you two for years and I won’t have you anymore. Just… nervous, I guess.”
“Dude,” I laugh. “Ray, man. You’re one of my best friends. I’m not going anywhere. And if you need anything, just ask.”
He stares at me for a moment. “You can get the films for this week?”
“I can.”
“And it will be public?”
“They always are, Ray.”
“You have some secret go-to girl for this?”
“I might.”
He stares at me some more. “OK, good. Thank you. I need the Public Fuck stuff, Ark. It’s good shit. I’m sure this won’t be your best, but you’ll get me some good movies—good club movies—before you go?”
“We’ve got girls lined up for next week. All three are repeats and we got the clubs on board too. We’ll bring you in some good shit next week, I promise.”
“All right, then. If I don’t see you tonight—”
“I know the drill, Ray.”
And then we shake hands and I walk out.
I don’t know why they are being nice to me. Especially this one. The one called JD. He’s got me wrapped up in his arms against his chest. The hot water is running again, because we’ve been sitting in the tub for so long it’s gone tepid. He’s stroking my hair and his lips are pressed up against my head.
We say nothing. We just listen to the water as it barrels out of the faucet.
I start to think about things and then shake my head a little to make it stop.
“What’s wrong?” His voice echoes through the large bathroom.
I can’t say. So he gets silence.
He waits to see if I’m just taking a moment to think, and then decides I’m not. “Too much, huh? The marks? Whoever it is you’re running from did a nice number on you.”
If he only knew.
“We’ll pay you for the photos. So you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”
Like I have many options.
“But we won’t mind if you do stay.” His fingertips continue to play with my hair as we both think about that.
What would it mean to stay here? They can’t possibly be offering up a temporary home with no expectations.
“I think Ark likes you.”
I let out a long breath. “I don’t think so.”
“Ah, she still speaks.” JD peeks around my face and flashes me a smile. He’s very good-looking. His blond hair is wet and tousled, and a little darker now with the water. His eyes are a bright blue and they look—well, not quite kind. Neither of these guys look kind. They are rough in all the ways I need to avoid right now. But this one’s eyes tell me they are understanding, at least.
“Believe me.” JD’s voice rumbles across my neck, sending a chill through my whole body. He reaches down to cup my breast, then squeezes the nipple. “I know Ark better than anyone. But he’s never walked in on a job before.”
I narrow my eyes, glad he can’t see my annoyance and confusion. “What’s that mean? A job?”
A half-hearted laugh resonates from JD’s chest. “We make porn, darling. That’s how we live in this place. That’s how we pay the bills. We get girls like you to suck my dick in public. Occasionally I fuck them in public too, but most of the time it’s just a blowjob. Ark is the cameraman. He’s done some videos in the past, but in all the four years we’ve been working together, he’s never walked away from his camera to join in.” And now JD laughs for real. “You know what he said before he left?”
I can’t help myself. “What?”
“Some shit about you being his since he was the one who saw you first.”
Did Ark see me first? I think back. My mind is weary and my body is aching in all the wrong places. But now that I remember, he did see me first. He asked me if I was OK and that was when JD walked up behind him.
“What if I don’t want him?” The words spill out before I can stop them and then, expecting the slap or the hair pull for mouthing off, I twist and turn, trying to get away from JD before he can hurt me.
I stand up, sway and fall sideways into the wall. Strong arms reach out and grab me just a little too late, and my head connects with the hard tile.
“Shit! What are you doing?” JD is standing now, holding me steady as my weak legs struggle to hold myself up.
I slap him away. “Don’t, please!” I cover my face with my hands to shield myself, but the blows never come.
“Shhh,” he says, wrapping one arm around my waist as the other one pries my hands away from their defense position. “I’m not gonna hit you. And Ark’s not going to do anything if you don’t want him. If you say no, I can guarantee you, he’ll never ask again.”
I don’t know what to say to that. I don’t even know what to think about what’s happening to me. I’m standing naked in a tub with a complete stranger who I just sucked off. I let them both get me off outside in the rain and film the entire thing. My eyes dart to the camera on the bathroom vanity. It’s still recording, I think.
And I’m not even coherent enough to come to grips with what has happened to me over the past fifteen months. The marks on my back aren’t the only things that linger. So does the fear. The pain. The consequences of my actions. But if these two guys are my only options for salvation… I’ll take what I can get.
All these things are pressing in on me like walls, closing in. Trying to crush me.
“Do you want to get out of the tub and put some clothes on?”
“I don’t have any clothes,” I whimper into my hands. He’s still trying to pry them down, but I’m not giving in. I don’t want to see his face. I don’t want to see the confusion, or pity, or whatever it is he’s feeling right now.
And most of all, I don’t want him to see my feelings either.
I don’t want anyone to see my feelings ever again.
He steps over the rim of the tub, still holding onto one of my hands, and gets out. He gives me a tug. “Come on. I have something for you to wear. And then you can sleep for a while. Or eat. Or call someone if you want.”
I let that one hand fall away from my face, but the other stays in place. I know what I must look like. The less he sees of me, the better.
When I step out he grabs a soft towel and wraps it around me. I tuck one end into the wrap to hold it in place, and then he drapes a second towel over my shoulders. “That’ll keep you warm until I get you something to wear.”
He takes a third towel from the linen cupboard and dries himself off quickly, then wraps it around his waist. I’m looking at his feet though, so I don’t really catch sight of his body. I know it’s athletic and strong. I felt the hard muscles of his chest and abdomen when he was holding me. And I know his cock is
long and thick, because he was trying to stick it down my throat. But I haven’t gotten a proper look at him yet.
That changes as we leave the bedroom, walk down the hallway, and enter the living room. He walks in front of me and I lift my gaze a little so I can see his back. He’s got a tattoo covering the entire span. From shoulder blade to shoulder blade, all the way down his back are two intertwined dragons. It’s shaded like a painting in black and red and yellow. Flames shoot out of the dragons’ open mouths. There’s a banner across the bottom with Latin words across it in some fancy script.
It gives me a shiver.
“My bedroom’s across the loft. That was Ark’s room. He’s got the girly bathroom.” JD looks over his shoulder at me and smiles so big it makes his eyes sparkle. “So if you need another soak, just use his bathroom. He won’t care.”
Ark won’t? I’m not so sure about that.
“But if you just need a shower, then my bathroom’s good enough.” JD stops in front of his door. None of the walls in here actually go up to the ceiling because it’s loft-style. But there are doors, and that’s a plus.
The last place I was held had no doors.
He opens it and waves me forward into the space. It’s large and bright and that’s another thing that differs from where I came from. It was cramped and dark.
“Here,” he says, letting go of my hand and walking over to a dresser. He pulls one open and fishes around until he comes up with some boxer-briefs with hearts on them. I can’t help myself. I bust out a giggle as he hands them over. He gives me a stern look that I interpret as fake. “Don’t judge, man. Some girl gave them to me last V-Day. I’ve never actually worn them.”
“So you disappointed her?” I ask, allowing myself to look up long enough to catch his smile and accept what he’s offering.
“Yeah,” he laughs. “I guess I did.” And then his laugh dies. “I usually do.”
I stare at him for a few moments, our eyes locked. “Thank you,” I say after he starts rummaging through his drawers again. He pulls out a t-shirt that will be monumentally too big for me and hands it over. I take it and repeat my sentiment. “Thank you.”