by JA Huss
“We did pay you.” He takes a seat in the chair just to the left of the couch and props his foot up on his knee, like he’s getting comfortable.
JD appears wearing what I’m starting to think of as his uniform. T-shirt. Jeans, always well-worn and faded. Boots. And a flannel. He stops at the door and slips his black leather jacket on over the flannel and then turns back to us. “Be good, boys and girls. Back in like an hour.”
The door opens. Closes. And then Ark and I are alone again.
“My turn. What was your college major?”
I shake my head. “It’s not your turn and I’m done with the questions.”
“Why?” He stands up and takes a step towards me.
I panic and stand up too, back away from him. “Don’t.”
He takes another step and I’m about to bolt back into JD’s room, but he grips my upper arm firmly and yanks me towards him. I push him off but he squeezes my nipple under the t-shirt and I freeze.
“Why do you like it to hurt?”
“I don’t.”
He shakes his head at me, all but tsks his tongue in disagreement. “Are you ashamed of it?”
“You seem to be.”
“I get the draw. I get the pleasure it can evoke. But what I don’t get is why you ran away from it if you like so much.” He stops, looking down at me with a very serious expression. “Did you run?” I slump back down on the couch and he lets go of my arm. “Did you?”
“I did.”
“Why, then? If that’s what you like? If that gets you off, then why run? It was too much? It was forced? It was rape? Or you agreed and got in over your head? Which of those is true?”
I fold my hands in my lap and it takes every ounce of control not to physically wring them together. “All of that.”
“Did you agree to the branding?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know who these people are?”
“Yes.”
“Are you going to protect them?”
I look up at him, perplexed. “From who?”
“From us.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“It’s up to JD.”
“I thought he was unstable? I thought he was unpredictable and violent? Isn’t that what you want me to believe?”
“He is all those things, Blue. You need to accept that as truth. But he’s not gonna let this go. He’ll keep disappearing like this until he finds what he’s looking for.”
“He went out for food.”
Ark shakes his head. “No. He’s out now because he’s compulsive. He needs to look for her. And she’s dead, Blue. We found her grave about two years ago. So what’s he looking for?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Why are you asking me all this? Why do you care? What if my situation isn’t what you think? What if I’m not involved in what you’re looking for?”
“You are.” Ark says it like it’s a fact and not a guess. “What’s he looking for?”
“Isn’t that your department? You’re the JD expert.”
“He’s looking for the people responsible for the death of that girl he knew. And he knows you came from them. Do you really think he’s just playing house with you for the fun of it? He’s using you to get information. And right now, you can bet your life he’s not getting us food. Or on his way to talk to Ray. We might as well just start making our own dinner right now, because he’s checked out for the night.”
“Then why do you let him leave?”
“I’m not his fucking mother. I’m his roommate. I’m his business partner. I’m his best friend. But I can’t tell him what to do.”
“What do you want from me, Ark? Because I really have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I don’t know why we found you there the other morning, but none of this is good. For any of us.”
“So pay me what you owe me and I’ll leave.”
Ark laughs. “You think JD’s gonna let you get away? You’re the only clue he’s found in four years of searching. You’re here. You’re part of it now. And maybe you don’t know what I’m talking about. But I’m guessing you do. So I’m telling you this as a favor.”
“Is that right?” I snarl. “You’re gonna do me a favor? Does that come before or after you break down my defenses and take advantage of me?”
“You walked right into it, Blue. I make a living off taking advantage of girls. We,” Ark stresses, “make a living off taking advantage of girls. What makes you special?”
“You’re serious?” I stand up but he pushes me back against the couch cushions.
“Sit the fuck down. Because on the off chance that JD is out getting food and shooting the shit with Ray about this week’s whores, I’m gonna make sure we’ve got this straight before he gets back.”
My heart starts beating like crazy and then my whole body breaks out in a sweat.
“Good,” Ark says, noticing my reaction. “You’re starting to understand me. Because I’m deadly serious, Blue. You’ve got two choices.” He leans down into my face. “Right here. Right now. Stick it out with us and be part of the solution. Or get the fuck out of my house. Take your whore money, get on a bus tonight, and never come back.”
I spit right in his face.
And I’m face down on the floor. He’s got my arm twisted behind my back, and I’m screaming in pain.
“Don’t fuck with me,” he growls down in my ear. His body is pressed against mine, his knee between my legs, touching my pussy.
I moan.
“You like it like this. You want me to love you this way, Blue.”
“Fuck you. How dare you talk all that shit to me earlier and then throw it back in my face.”
“How dare you ask me to love you and then slip right into JD’s arms.”
“So you’re jealous?”
“Why would I be jealous? I can take you right here on the floor and he’d never know. Because you’d like it and you’d never tell him. You’re not gonna leave, are you? You want this fucked-upness, don’t you?” My chest is rising and falling so fast, I begin to get dizzy. Ark pulls my hair. “Tell me,” he demands. “Say it. Just admit you’re in.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You’re in, Blue. You’re gonna let us fuck you. You’re gonna stay here and be our little fuck toy. And you’re gonna tell us what we want to know.” He pulls my hair again and this time I feel the wetness gush between my legs.
He pulls my boxers down and palms his hand over my ass. “Oh, God,” I moan.
“Go ahead, fight it, Blue. Fight all you want.” He slips his fingers between my legs. Not enough to penetrate me, even though my throbbing clit is begging for it. Just enough to check how turned on I am.
His zipper comes down and then his cock is pressed between my ass cheeks.
“Let’s make a deal, Blue. I’ll let you stay here, and we’ll take turns feeding your addiction. And you’ll answer my questions. You will not talk to JD about any of this. You will go on acting like everything is fine. But you will tell me the truth. Every answer you give needs to be the truth.”
His tip pokes against my asshole and I bite my tongue to stop my urge to beg, that’s how badly I need him inside me right now. “OK,” I whisper. “OK.”
“Good,” he says, slipping his dick down my crack. “Then I’ll repeat the next question. What was your college major?”
“Why does that matter?”
He withdraws and leaves me empty. “Answer me,” he growls, pulling my hair so hard my whole body arches. I have to tip my head so far back, I find myself looking up at his face. “Answer. Me.” And then his mouth crashes down on mine. He kisses me hard, bites my tongue, bites my lip, draws blood, and sticks his cock back between my ass cheeks in less time than it takes me to take a breath.
Or maybe I just forgot how to breathe.
“English,” I whisper into his mouth as he continues to kiss me. “It was English.”
He thrusts his hips and then sinks himsel
f inside my pussy. All the way. I can feel his balls move against my clit. “Love me,” I moan.
“I plan on it,” he says.
But then he releases my hair, my head falls down to my chest, and he gets up off the floor, extending his hand for me to accept it.
I turn my body around so I can see his face. “What are you doing? Don’t you dare leave me like this.”
He holds his hand out for a few more seconds and when I don’t accept, he withdraws it. “Oh, I’m leaving you like this, Blue. You want it rough, you get that from JD. You want me to love you?” He takes a deep breath, like he needs courage to get the words out. “Well, you come find me when you get to that place. I’m in for the love, but not for the abuse.”
He turns and walks down the hallway that leads to his room. And a few seconds later, I hear the click of the lock.
Which, in my book, is nothing but a big fuck-off.
“Let’s make a deal, Ark.” Ray is sitting at his bar and Silvie is getting him a drink. She passes him a Scotch and me a beer. Ray waits for me to pop the cap and take a long gulp. “You do understand I will buy you out eventually, right?” He takes a slow sip from his glass, the ice cubes clinking together.
“Maybe,” I say, enjoying some time away from JD and Blue. JD came back last night. It was late. And he had no food. Just an excuse about getting hung up over here at Ray’s. I had my ear to the bedroom door to hear that lie, because he’d never tell me that. Not when he knows I’ll ask Ray straight out if he came by.
Which JD didn’t. I asked Ray anyway, as soon as I got here.
“There’s no maybe about it, son.” I hate it when Ray calls me son. Not because he’s a dick. I like Ray. He’s a good guy. I think he’d have been a good father if he’d ever had kids. But because I’m not sure he means it. It makes me long for our relationship to be more than business. He treats me like family, sure. But am I family? Or am I just an opportunity? “You and I both know that as soon at Public Fuck is up and running, I’m gonna make an offer. So let’s just do it up front.”
I shake my head. “You’ll shut it down. And I’ve worked too hard and too long to just shut it down.”
“Twenty-five million,” he says, calm as they come. “Sell it to me pre-launch and I’ll give you twenty-five for it.”
I swallow hard at that offer. I had no idea he was so interested. But I shake my head automatically. There is no way I can take an offer. Not after all the filth I’ve participated in to get this far in the game. This is all I’ve got left. My one and only chance at salvation is sticking it out until it’s over. And even though I feel that we are close, it’s not over yet. I couldn’t bail even if I wanted to.
“Why?” he asks. “We both know you don’t belong in this world. You’re a photographer, Ark. Get out while you’re still young. Go do something legitimate.”
“This is legitimate, Ray. It might not be honorable, but it’s definitely legitimate.”
“You know what I mean. Porn? Really? You want to waste your life selling porn?”
“How is it a waste? It works well enough for you.”
He takes another swig of his Scotch and looks over at Silvie, who is chatting with one of the bouncers. There’s no one else down here in the entertaining area except us. But that’s because it’s not open yet. Wednesday night is Swingers. I know Silvie gets shared with no one, but Ray takes his pick of women on Swingers’ Night.
And that makes me think of Blue. Why the fuck should I share her?
Because she likes JD better than you, Ark, my inner voice says.
Maybe she does. But that’s because she really has no idea what’s going on. If she knew…
“It’s good enough for me, son, because I’m forty-eight years old and this is all I know. You’re what? Twenty-seven? You’ve got time. You can sell this shit off, take the money, and go try your hand at something more… honorable, as you put it.”
“But why would I want to, Ray? This business is a cash cow. It’s easy fucking money.”
Ray looks at me with sympathy. “You know why I never had kids?”
I shake my head no.
“Because this is no way to raise a family. If you choose this life, Ark, you’re gonna end up alone. And you’re the closest thing I have to a son. So I don’t want that. Take the money. Get out of Denver. Go somewhere warm. And settle into a normal life. Come back for holidays and shit. Like kids do. But get out, man. I mean it.”
“I can’t,” I say, looking away and taking a drink of my beer. “I’m in too deep. We’re too far along.”
“JD isn’t gonna last, Ark. You know this. He’s on a one-way trip to crazy. He’s obsessed with that girl again—”
“Has he been here talking?” I wonder if he’s mentioned Blue.
“No,” Ray says in a low whisper. “But he’s asking questions again, Ark. And I’ve already told you. People are getting suspicious. They don’t want to talk about the shit he’s bringing up. And since everyone knows you’re partners, they shut up about it. But that doesn’t mean they forget. And that doesn’t mean they’ll just let it go.” Ray gives me one of those warning looks, with the single raised eyebrow and a sidelong glance.
“I’ll talk to him.”
“You better do more than talk to him.”
I nod again, but I stare down at my drink, wondering just how far this will go. How fucked up this will get. How much I’m gonna lose.
“You coming for Halloween?” Ray asks, changing the subject.
“Nah,” I say. Blue won’t agree to a party. I know that for sure. “Probably not.”
“JD is. He said so last week.”
“Well, things have changed since then. So if he doesn’t show up…” I let my words trail off.
“Got it.” And then Ray gets up and walks over to Silvie, planting a quick kiss on her cheek as he slips his arm around her waist. I know he loves her. He might fuck other women, but he always goes home to Silvie. And if it works for her, who am I to judge?
“Thanks for the beer, Ray.” I get up and start towards the door. It’s late now and I’ve been out all day, trying to avoid Blue. I want to fuck her brains out, but I refuse to give in to her. I refuse to play along with her and JD in this sick arrangement they’re cooking up. No matter how much I want to, I just can’t do it.
“You have girls lined up this week?” Ray calls out, just as I reach the door.
“Yeah,” I call back, opening it and walking through. “We’re good.” And then I close the door behind me and take the stairs to the roof to my waiting Jeep. I have to go home sometime. And if I’m being honest, I want to see that girl so bad, I can’t stay away any longer.
The drive back is too short and before I know it, I’m on my way up the elevator. It dings on the top floor and I get out and stand there. Staring at our door.
What did they do all day?
My jealousy is suddenly overwhelming as I picture the many, many ways in which Blue got fucked hard by JD. Why does she like it rough? Why? She responded to me when I was gentle. But if it’s not enough, then why fight JD for her? Would it really be worth ruining what I have with him just to get exclusive rights to a girl who can’t be satisfied with the way I want to love her?
Ray says to get out and start a life. But right now all I want is Blue. And she’s not even remotely interested in giving up what she likes. So why should I waste four years of planning and hard work? Why give up my one chance at making a difference, just to get away and be alone again?
I push my key into the lock with this thought lingering in my mind. It’s quiet inside and the lights are low. I toss my keys onto the little table in the foyer and that’s when I see the video camera. “What is this doing here?”
“Start filming, cameraman.”
I look into the dark living room, lit only by firelight flickering off to the left, and see JD sitting on the couch. The coffee table has been moved out of the way, and at his feet—naked and with her head resting on his thigh, staring
straight at me—is Blue.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I ask them.
“Waiting for you. Now pick up the camera and start filming.”
“Why?” I look down at Blue and she meets my gaze for a second, but then quickly closes her eyes and buries her face between JD’s legs.
“We wanna make a sex tape.” JD says this like he might say we’re going out for dinner. “Blue’s on board.”
“She’s got no identification, JD. We can’t use her.” The whole thought of putting her on Ray’s site just repulses me.
“No, you dumb fuck,” JD laughs. “A sex tape, asshole. For fun. We’re not gonna sell her. We’re gonna fuck her.” And then he smirks up at me as I walk towards them. “On camera.”
I just stare at them. “We?”
JD nods to the chair off to the left of the couch. “Turn the camera on, sit down, and enjoy the show.” And then he pets Blue on the head and looks back to me. “Dude,” he says, losing his patience. “I’ve been waiting for you all damn day. My dick is hard, her mouth is watering, and I want to come down her throat. So turn the fucking camera on.”
And now my dick is hard.
I walk over to the chair and ease myself down, camera on, and pointing at Blue’s mouth as she licks her lips.
“Three, two, one… action,” JD whispers.
Blue’s tongue darts out and begins to lick him through his jeans. Her mouth opens wide, covering the thick bulge in his pants, and then she bites down a little, chomping playfully along his full length.
JD moans. Hell, I moan. My hand goes to my own bulge in my pants and I begin to rub. The camera shakes a little from my motions. JD notices me worrying about it, but then he nods his head to the fireplace mantel. I look over to my left and see the camera. Then across from me, on a wall shelf, I spy another one.
“I’ve got them all over.” He presses a button on the remote in his hand and the lights come up, just enough to make an atmospheric movie.
They’ve certainly put a lot of thought into this little setup.
The sound of a zipper being pulled down yanks me back to my reality. Blue’s got the little tab by her teeth and she’s pulling it down to reveal a trail of hair leading to JD’s cock. She licks the little bit of skin that is exposed by the open zipper, and then her small hand reaches in and pulls him out.