by JA Huss
I slip down off the counter. “I’m gonna take a bath, if that’s OK.” They both stare at me as I walk between them and head towards the hallway. Their arguing continues after I’m gone. I can still hear them in the bedroom.
How are these two guys even friends? I don’t get it. They could not be more different.
I close the door so I don’t have to hear the argument. It’s stupid, anyway. They make porn. They are scum. Not talking about it won’t change that fact.
I walk into Ark’s bathroom and start the water for the tub. I spot the morning-after pill package in the trash and it makes me even more confused. He’s so strait-laced. He’s so put-together on the inside. If it wasn’t so disconcerting, I’d laugh about it. Because I don’t get how a guy this practical and logical carves out a kingdom making and selling porn.
He does not add up. Not one bit. The half-ass dress suits? I mean, I love the look. He’s rough in a very neat way. The untucked white shirt. The loose tie. Why wear a tie like that? Why bother with a tie that’s not neat? Always jeans and boots and that tattoo they have, dragons fighting over some blue pearl. Where the hell did he come from? It’s like Ark can’t decide if he’s a biker or a businessman.
And JD… Jesus. I have no idea what to think about him. The way Ark talks, he’s insane or something. He’s unstable. He’s got ‘issues’. What kind of issues? So he takes off every now and then. If I could leave this loft, I’d be gone too. But just like the things with Ark, there’s something there with JD too.
Relationship?
Is that what this is?
I look up and find my face staring back at me from the mirror. “What are you doing?” But the girl on the other side doesn’t answer. Instead there’s a knock at the door. “Come in,” I say.
Ark pushes it open and stands at the threshold holding his camera. JD is behind him. Neither of them say anything and I’m immediately ticked off at this. “What?”
Ark opens his mouth, but JD is the one who answers. “Never mind our bitching, Blue. We do this all the time.”
But I know somehow, deep inside me, that isn’t true. I think that before I came, nothing upset these two. I think before I came, they hadn’t had an argument in months. Maybe years.
But fuck it. If they want to lie, I’ve got enough lies of my own I need to keep telling. So whatever. “Wanna join me in the tub?” I say instead. “It’s huge. We can probably all three fit.” Ark walks past me and peers inside the tub. He looks back at me and JD, then the tub again. Like he’s calculating the volume or something. “My God, do you always overthink things?”
“Pfffft,” he says, placing the camera on the counter facing the tub, and then unbuttoning his jeans. “I never overthink anything.”
I look over at JD, who’s watching us with a bemused smirk on his face. He pulls his shirt over his head and kicks off his boots. “Let’s fuck in the tub then.”
“No,” I say, exasperated. “I don’t want to fuck in the tub. I just want to relax in the tub. If you two want to relax with me, then OK. Otherwise—” I stop. Because they are looking at me with frowns and scrunched-up eyebrows. I’m being bitchy. “Otherwise”—I soften my tone—“just let me wash and I’ll be right out.”
“We’ll relax with you,” Ark says in his no-nonsense manner. And then he takes off his jeans and walks towards me and extends his hand. “I’ll hold your hand while you step in.”
I take a deep breath and smile at the gesture. And then I take his hand and step over the rim of the tub. The hot water presses against my legs and when I lower my butt down, I look up and hiss from the sting.
Ark lets go of my hand and then JD dumps some shampoo in the water to make bubbles. “Scoot over,” Ark says, stepping in on one side of me. JD steps in on the other, and then they simultaneously lean back, stretching their legs out as much as they can on either side of my body.
“We don’t really fit, do we?” I laugh.
“We’ll make do,” JD says, grabbing my shoulders and turning me around so my back is resting against his chest. When I look up at Ark, he’s amused. Which is nice, since he seems to be the jealous type. “You know how long it’s been since I sat in a bathtub before you came, Blue?” JD asks.
Ark’s smile creeps up as he thinks about this.
“I must’ve been like ten years old,” JD continues. “We had an old ugly claw-foot in our house. Not something vintage and cool, but rusted and shit. I hated that thing. It took forever to fill.”
“Did you grow up in Denver, JD?” I ask.
“Yup. Born and raised.”
“How about you, Ark?”
Ark shakes his head at me, but doesn’t offer up a place.
“Ark grew up in Iowa or some shit.”
“City or farm?” I keep it going.
Ark just stares at me with that smile. His arms are draped across the rim of the tub on either side of him and his knees are drawn up because JD is taking up most of the room with his legs.
My toes wiggle and I can feel Ark’s hard cock press against them. He gives me another smirk.
God, I’d love for him to fuck me. Not with JD, but alone.
“If you’re from Montreal,” Ark says, putting me on high alert, “why don’t you have a French accent?”
“I went to school in the States.” And I did. That’s not even a lie.
“Where?” JD asks. And now I feel like they are tag-teaming me for info.
“The East Coast. And that’s all I’m gonna say about it, if that’s OK.” I wait for an objection, but JD is silent and Ark just shrugs. “What about you guys?”
I’m looking at Ark, of course, since I’m facing him, but JD is the one who answers. “I went to North. But I dropped out in eleventh grade.”
“Really?” I turn my head to look at him. “I’d never have guessed.”
“Really,” he affirms with a smile. “It’s pretty cool to say that, and know it never made a difference. I’m a millionaire high-school dropout. But, if I could do it over, I’d have stuck it out. Maybe gone to college instead.”
“How come?”
“Because all I do is act. And really, you can’t call what I do acting. I stand there and let girls suck me off.”
“JD,” Arks says, annoyed with the talk of work.
JD shrugs behind me. “It’s true.”
“It’s not true,” Ark says. “He’s a natural salesman. Not many people could charm strange girls into doing what we need them to do.”
“What will you do tonight?” I ask.
Ark takes in a breath, holds it for a second, and then lets it out. “Meet the girl at the club. Wait for the show to get going. Let people get nice and drunk. Rowdy. Then take her on the floor, put her on her knees, and say action.”
“Don’t people say anything? Like try to stop you?”
“We have verbal contracts with the club owners. Management, security, the bands—they’re all in on it.”
“So you pay them to let you film there?”
“Yup. Every palm gets greased.”
JD grabs the soap and starts rubbing it up and down my arm. I look back and him and smile. “That feels good.”
“It’s supposed to,” he says.
“So, if you won’t talk about school growing up, let’s talk about college,” Ark says.
I squint my eyes at him. “OK. You first. Where’d you go?”
“I didn’t. How about you?”
“Me either.” I’m lying, but so is he. So fuck it.
JD’s chest rumbles with a laugh behind me. “You two are something else. Why waste so much energy being hostile?”
“We’re not hostile,” I say, feeling very hostile.
“Whatever.”
“OK, then,” Ark continues. “I’m a Gator. University of Florida. Your turn.”
And this rings true for some reason. He does have a slight southern accent to his speech. “Columbia,” I say.
“Columbia?” JD says. “Dayum, girl. You grew up rich
and smart. How the fuck did you end up here?”
“It’s a long story.” My eyes never leave Ark’s face.
“We have time,” Ark says, staring back. “Give it a go, Blue. You’re gonna have to tell us eventually.”
How did I end up here? It’s been so long since I thought about it, I have to trace back my steps. “My best friend from when I was a kid—”
“School?” Ark interrupts. “Or home?”
“Home,” I answer, acutely aware that he’s fishing for details. “She moved to Denver and so I followed her here.”
“How old are you?”
“Jesus, Ark,” JD says. “It’s not an interrogation. Calm down.”
“Twenty-four,” I answer. And it is an interrogation. I’m just having a hard time piecing together why this guy feels the need to interrogate me. He’s protective, I get that. He’s controlling, and that too makes sense. But why me? I’m not that pretty. I’m at least fifteen pounds underweight, my hair is brittle, and my skin is pale. I look weary, even after a few days of rest. I look downtrodden. So why is he so interested? Why are either of them so interested? “How about you?”
“Twenty-seven.”
“Twenty-five,” JD adds.
“So, your friend came to Denver and…”
I lift my knees up and wrap my arms around my legs, hugging them to my chest. “She came to Denver and worked as a waitress at first. But then…” I have to stop and make this part up. “But then she called me and said she was pregnant and could I come spend the summer with her and babysit.”
Ark narrows his eyes at me. “Why would she assume you’d drop your life and go help her?”
“We were BFF’s, ya know? And I wasn’t working.”
“So you came to Denver last summer?”
I shake my head.
“Summer before last?”
I nod.
“Well, fuck, Blue. That’s a long time to be in town. What the hell have you been doing here?” JD is starting to put things together. Ark has always known. It’s like he took one look at me out in the rain that morning and he could read my mind. But JD was just along for the ride. “Blue?” he prods, poking me to keep it fun.
But the fun is gone. I have to make a decision and I have to make it right now. Trust them or not. And if I do, then yeah, that’s a big move. And if I lie, they will know. I won’t be able to stay here much longer. A day or two at the most.
And then where would I go? I can’t call my father. That would be a huge deal. I can’t just go back out on the streets. There’s no way they won’t still be looking for me. They know I have no ID, no clothes, no passport. I can’t leave the country. I can’t go to the local charities, they’d find me first thing. I can’t even go to the police. Who knows how many officers they have on the payroll? And who knows how high up they go?
“You gotta trust someone,” Ark says, calm as can be. He’s used to this. Something about his detached professionalism is very familiar to me. And he’s right, I do need to trust someone. But two guys who make porn for a living? Really? “Start with the brand.”
JD’s whole body stiffens behind me when Ark says the word brand. I shake my head automatically at that one. “That’s an ending, not a beginning.”
“Fair enough. What happened when you got here?”
“We had lunch at a place down on Colorado Boulevard.”
“What city did you come from?”
“Montreal. I was home for the summer when she called. That’s the only way she knew to get a hold of me.”
“And you just took off for Denver.”
I know what he’s implying. And fine. Whatever. Who cares if he figures out I come from privilege? “I told you, I wasn’t working. I couldn’t find a job. I had nothing preventing me from going.”
“What kind of job do you do, Blue?”
I don’t know why when JD asks that question it sounds so… genuine. But when Ark asks it, he makes me want to lie. JD makes me want to tell him all my secrets. I can hear the sympathy in his voice. “I’m a reporter.”
Ark’s eyes meet JD’s for several seconds like they are having some secret communication. His jaw clenches. “So you came to Denver to find a job? Or to help your friend?”
“Both.”
“Did you get a job, Blue?” JD this time.
“No. I got…” I have to take a deep breath, so I stop. And once I stop, I can’t find a way to continue.
“Just say it, baby.” JD leans into my neck and kisses me. “Just tell us what’s going on. We won’t judge you. I mean, look at us. We make porn.”
“I thought if I could just help her, I could maybe write about it. And then publish it online. And maybe that would get me a real job. I mean, they wanted me to be a blogger, you guys.”
“What?” Ark asks. “Who?”
“After school. I applied to hundreds of publications. And I got one offer to blog. Blog,” I repeat. “And I know some people have huge careers as bloggers, but that’s not what this was. It was blogging statistics. It wasn’t even writing. Just copying and pasting.”
“OK,” Ark says, a little bit annoyed. “I don’t get what that has to do with any of what’s going on. How is your friend connected? Where did you get that brand? Who the fuck are you hiding from?”
“When Janine came to me and asked for help, it was a huge favor, OK? She was pregnant and she told me that they were gonna take her baby and give it to another couple to adopt.”
“Who?” Ark demands, making me jump.
JD’s arms wrap round me, trying to calm me down.
“And I thought that was the perfect opportunity, you know? I could help her, right? I could stop those people from taking her baby. And I could write an expose on what they were doing and maybe get a job out of it.”
Ark leans his face into his palm. He takes a deep breath. “Please tell me you did not infiltrate this group to write a story.”
I swallow hard. “I did.”
He stands up, gets out of the tub, looks at the camera like he forgot it was there, then grabs it and walks out, trailing a puddle of water on the floor behind him.
“Damn, Blue,” JD says. “That was a pretty stupid idea.”
“I realize that now. I mean I realized that back then, too. It took me about five minutes to understand I fucked up in a major way.”
“So where did the brand come from?”
“I… I… I joined up.”
“You joined?” Ark peeks his head into the bathroom as he buttons up one of those white dress shirts. He’s already got jeans on. Like he’s going somewhere. “Now why the fuck would you do that?”
I shrug my shoulders and look up at him. He’s so angry. Why is he so angry? And then he disappears and then reappears pulling on his boots.
“I don’t know, you guys. It was like they brainwashed me or something. I became… Are you going somewhere?” I ask Ark. Because he’s got his boots on and there’s a leather jacket in his hand.
“Yeah, we’re going somewhere. You’re gonna show me where the fuck it was they had you.”
“I don’t know that.”
“You do know, Blue.” He snarls this at me. “You do know. And I’m not playing here, I want you to show us.”
“I don’t know! They blindfolded me and kept me in a basement or something. The other day, when you found me, I was at some special party that night. They drugged me before they took me out of the basement. So when I escaped, I didn’t understand where I was. I have no idea where they are. I have no idea who they are. The only face I ever saw was my husband’s.”
“Your husband?” They say this at the same time.
“It was never legal. I had a fake name. So he’s not my real—”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I jump at Ark’s shout again.
“Shhh,” JD says behind me. “He’s not gonna hurt you, Blue. He’s just pissed off that you didn’t say something earlier.”
“Why would I tell you
guys? You’re porn scum! Why is this my fault all of a sudden? Why do you care so much?”
Ark stomps into the bathroom and looms over me, making me tip my head up to look him in the eye. I feel more vulnerable here, sitting in this tub with JD’s arms around me and Ark’s disapproval, than I have ever felt in my life. Even after all the shit I’ve been through in the past year. “Listen to me, Blue. These are the people who killed JD’s girl. That brand was their brand. They killed his girl and stole his kid. That’s why we’re so fucking interested. OK? So you’re gonna get your ass up and—”
“No,” JD says. He stands up, bringing me with him, and looks Ark in the face. “Just stop, OK? Fuck this shit. I don’t want to hear any of it. I can’t do it again. I can’t let this shit take over my life again. I can’t.” And then his embrace evaporates and he steps out of the tub and walks out.
Ark and I stand there. Staring each other in the eyes.
I’m naked.
I’m bared to him.
I’ve been stripped down to nothing.
“How long?”
“Huh?” I feign ignorance.
“Don’t,” he says in a low voice. “Just stop pretending you’re ignorant, or stupid, or whatever it is you’re trying to make us think. Because it won’t work. How. Fucking. Long?”
“Fifteen months.”
“You’ve been missing for fifteen months?”
I nod.
“And no one missed you?”
“Oh, they missed me all right. My father was a Canadian premier for ten years and he’s been the ambassador in DC for four.”
Ark reaches out, grabs my shoulders, and stares into my eyes. “Oh my God. You’re Zoey Marshall. I knew I recognized you from somewhere.”
The tears spring to life and before I can stop them, they are streaming down my face. It’s been so long since someone called me by my real name. Way too long.
“I’m sorry,” he says, taking my hand and urging me to step out of the tub. I stand there on the bath rug and then he wraps a towel around me, pulling me into his chest in a protective embrace. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Blue and I stare at each other for a few seconds. She looks like her world just fell apart. But then the front door slams so hard the artwork in the foyer shakes on the walls.