“You search for the underlying long-range motives on both sides and try to integrate them so that both parties can start working in the same direction.”
We also achieve happiness by remaining active. Many people think of retirement as a blank page: nothing to do but sit around all day and be lazy. But if you want happiness, you must always have some project that you’re working on. It’s all right to end one career, providing that you have structured activities to fill the empty spaces. No matter what age you are—even if you’re eighty, if you’re ninety—you must continue to cultivate your talents.
Retirement works only if people plan carefully for it. It is good to set new goals for yourself, realistic goals. Often, if we think the future out in detail, the work we do after retirement can be more rewarding than the work we did all those years for a salary.
There are people who feel they’re so old that they can no longer have useful goals. But that is rarely the case. For instance, if you are still able to write, you have a number of possible options. You can correspond with lonely people. You can work on your autobiography: We all have our own story to tell and no two stories are ever the same. You can write poems or short stories or novels and try to have them published.
John Templeton cites an example of how happiness and success can be achieved by the elderly. He had a roommate at Yale, John Bradley Greene, whose grandmother, Mrs. Talbot, was a wealthy woman.
She played no role in the business from which she drew a considerable income and could have simply done nothing. Instead, she undertook to help her children, grandchildren, and friends by seeking out inspirational articles, and once a year she would compile a calendar of 365 passages, one for each day of the year. Those people to whom she gave the calendar were uplifted by that day’s inspiration. Her grandson at Yale shared those inspirations with young Templeton, who benefited from them in his life as an undergraduate, just as his friend’s grandmother benefited by focusing her mind on a helpful and happy activity.
Perhaps Mother Teresa of Calcutta epitomizes better than anyone the concept that happiness can be achieved by what you do. She believes in showing love first to those who are near to you, those who cross your path every day. And that means even the panhandlers on the streets of American cities, even those who may use your money to buy a drink or drugs.
Mother Teresa explains, “Whenever we give, we give to Jesus. He has identified himself with the hungry, the naked, and the homeless to make it possible for us to love God. After all, how can we love God if not through others? Jesus has given us an opportunity to love God in action—through these poor who approach us for money in our cities, these poor to whom we already owe deep gratitude for accepting our services.”
But what if a panhandler really does use his contribution to buy a drink or help pay for drugs? “I tell our sisters that I’d rather we made mistakes in kindness than work miracles in unkindness,” she answers. “Maybe that man will buy a drink. Maybe he’ll buy drugs. But then too, he may buy a piece of bread or pay for medicine for his child. We don’t know. So I’d rather make a mistake than not to give at all. If someone approached me for something, I would always give it.”
As John Templeton’s spiritual sensitivities increased through the 1960s and early 1970s, he began to search for some significant, concrete way to spread the love and knowledge of God. The result was the Templeton Foundation Prize for Progress in Religion. It is annually awarded to an individual who has made a significant advance in any religion. It is the largest annual award given for any purpose.
The prize is a direct reflection of the personal values and religious views of Templeton himself. He decided it should be larger than any other prize in order to tell the world that progress in religion is more crucial than progress in any other area of life.
About 1970, Templeton talked with the British Governor-General of the Bahama Islands, Lord Thurlow, about the possibility of the queen of England awarding the Templeton Prizes just as the king of Sweden awards the Nobel Prizes. Lord Thurlow introduced Templeton to his friend, the Right Reverend Sir Robin Woods, Dean of Windsor. Sir Robin accepted Templeton’s invitation to serve for three years on the original board of nine judges from all five major religions. He then talked with Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, who agreed to present the first award, to Mother Teresa of Calcutta, before an audience of 800 select guests in London’s Guildhall. In fourteen subsequent years, the Templeton Foundation has invited Prince Philip to make the presentation and he has graciously accepted these invitations making the work of each prizewinner more widely known throughout the world.
When Mother Teresa traveled to London to receive the first Templeton Prize, reporters asked her why her nuns maintained a home there. They understood her need to remain near the destitute and dying in India, but what could she possibly accomplish in England’s largest city, one of the main cradles of contemporary civilization?
She answered that her London house was one of her most important ones. She said that in London, as in all great cities, large numbers of people were starving and their condition was more serious than starvation from lack of food. They were starving spiritually. She explained that spiritual starvation was endemic among the wealthy, among those with an abundance of worldly possessions, and that her order’s presence in London was meant to help such unfortunates.
There is a lesson to be learned from Mother Teresa about the true meaning of starvation. One of its dictionary definitions is “to be deprived of nourishment.” If we are without goals, without God, without an experience and appreciation of our talents, then we cannot hope to find happiness. Success will elude us.
After reading Step 5, ask yourself the following questions:
Are you happier when you give a present than when you receive one?
Do you derive the most pleasure from activities that are geared to helping others or that add to their knowledge or pleasure?
Do you find that more differences are settled amicably through gentle persuasion than through angry confrontation?
Are you continually setting new goals for yourself?
Do you try to remain active throughout the day by pursuing a worthwhile activity?
If you have answered these questions in the affirmative, you are ready to proceed to Step 6.
STEP 6
FINDING THE POSITIVE IN EVERY NEGATIVE
A HIT SONG written by Johnny Mercer during the Second World War contained the words “accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative….” For John Templeton they express one of his deepest beliefs: that you must be a positive person to succeed in life. Over the years he has compiled a list of quotations dealing with positive behavior, some of which might help those who tend to take the dark view.
Horace Rutledge, author of religious tracts, had this observation: “When you look at the world in a narrow way, how narrow it seems! When you look at it in a mean way, how mean it is! When you look at it selfishly, how selfish it is! But when you look at it in a broad, generous, friendly spirit, what wonderful people you find in it.”
Lydia Maria Child, abolitionist and nineteenth-century author: “You find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful people. Why not make an earnest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy.”
Famous nineteenth-century English novelist George Eliot had this to say on the subject: “Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. What do we live for if not to make the world less difficult for each other?”
French philosopher and mathematician Blaise Pascal put it this way: “Kind words do not cost much. They never blister the tongue or lips. Mental trouble was never known to arise from such quarters. Though they do not cost much yet they accomplish much. They make other people good-natured. They also produce their own image on men’s souls, and a beautiful image it is.”
Author J. Kenfield Morley put his views on a positive versus a negative viewpoint in the
form of an aphorism: “I can complain because rosebushes have thorns or rejoice because thornbushes have roses. It’s all how you look at it.”
“A pessimist,” said Reginald B. Mansell, a business executive, “is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities; an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.”
And, last, William Makepeace Thackeray, the author of Vanity Fair: “The world is a looking glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face. Frown at it and it will in turn look sourly upon you; laugh at it and with it and it is a jolly, kind companion.”
Success depends to a very large extent upon enthusiasm. The Greek origin of the word enthusiasm means “in God.” Therefore, the enthusiastic person is in tune with the infinite, with God himself.
Jesus said: “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? So every sound tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears evil fruit. A sound tree cannot bear evil fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will know them by their fruits” (Matt. 7:15–20).
In business or socially or within your family, you will be known by your fruits. Love and joy—both positive emotions—are among the sweetest fruits of the spirit. God is the source of all love, and by tapping the divine source, you will radiate love and attract it at the same time.
You often come across people who say, “I can’t find love anywhere.” The reason they can’t find love is that they don’t give love. If you forget about trying to acquire love as though it’s a material object that you can touch and, instead, concentrate on giving it, then love automatically comes your way. We must train ourselves to genuinely and deeply love every person; we will then, in return, be people who are magnets for love.
Remember: The ability to love without stint or qualification is a form of happiness. Happiness breeds success. And successful people are free to love.
God is an infinite source of love, and there is no limit to the amount of love you can get and give. All of God’s love is ready to flow through you if you don’t block it.
Think of yourself as a water faucet. If the faucet is on full, the water will flow through from the source and be a blessing to the person who drinks it or to the garden or flowers that need it. But if the faucet is turned off, no water flows and nothing grows.
There are those who think that smiling is facile and insincere. But you will discover that when you smile at someone who doesn’t often show happiness, that person will immediately brighten. They have been waiting for the brightness that you shine on them, and they are ready to respond. Your face is a mirror that reflects happiness back onto others.
Another way to accentuate the positive is to welcome change each day. It is human nature to get stuck in a rut and resist innovation, but you must teach yourself to try new paths. Don’t let a day go by without learning something new. The successful life is an adventurous one.
When John Templeton goes to restaurants with clients in connection with his investment counseling work, he makes it a point to order one item on the menu that he’s never tried before. That way he assures himself that the day will not be like any other day; he assures himself of an adventure, a seminar in living, no matter how small.
A successful life depends less on how long you live than on how much you can pack into the time you have. If you can find a way to make every day an adventure—even if it’s only a matter of walking down an unfamiliar street or ordering an untried cut of meat—you will find that your life becomes more productive, richer, and more interesting. You also become more interesting to others.
The same rule applies to travel. For example, make it your objective to visit all fifty states in the Union and at least a dozen other nations. You will thus have a positive goal worth pursuing and, as you begin to fulfill your goal, a sense of accomplishment. You will also begin to develop a worldview that will contribute to building a successful career.
So far, in his seventy-four years, John Templeton has visited forty-nine of the fifty states of the United States and seventy-seven nations in the world. He feels that extensive travel has enabled him to have viewpoints not obtainable to those who stay at home; he has also discovered wonderful new opportunities for investments.
To reach out, to try the new, is to accentuate the positive. The successful person never stops reaching and trying.
When Templeton first became an investment counselor after college, he had a friend, Harry J. Haas, a banker in Philadelphia. Haas formed a habit of making friends with other bankers whom he met at conventions and bankers’ associations. He would write their names on individual cards and file them in his desk drawer. Subsequently, he would keep a sharp eye out for a photograph or any news item relating to them—a promotion mentioned in the business section of any newspaper, a recent entry in Who’s Who, a social event—and whenever he found something, he would clip it out and attach it to the card. He collected cards on thousands of bankers, and he never failed to drop someone a line of congratulations on good news or commiseration if the news was bad. As a result, Haas, who through his thoughtfulness had made thousands of friends, later in life became president of the American Bankers’ Association.
Men like Haas are uplifting forces in the lives of many. They make an extra effort to find the positive in every negative. Their genuine interest in others translates into substantial success.
John Templeton believes that we all have within us a deep reservoir of faith, but it often lies buried and unused. To bring it out takes training. You can teach yourself to talk to another person and glimpse that person’s true faith. Every person has it, and if you can find it you will be able to genuinely express friendship, love, and joy—three great aids to becoming a successful and productive person.
If you meet someone at a party or in business about whom you can’t find anything positive to say, it is best to say nothing. But if you can find something good to say, don’t keep it to yourself. Pass on the good news to the person most eager to hear it—namely, that person. If, for example, someone has remarkably clear eyes, eyes that illuminate a room, compliment his eyes. If he has a soft and musical voice, tell him how pleasant it sounds. Whatever you find admirable about a person, let it be known. The telling also benefits the teller because the habit is established of expressing useful and constructive thoughts. The telling builds friendships. You have found the positive in the negative.
John Templeton gives an example from his own life of how positive behavior can draw family members together in a tighter, more loving bond. He says: “When my second wife, Irene, and I were first married, I had three young children and she had two. We wanted them to be friends, to feel like one family. So we decided to take them on an eight-week trip through Europe. That way, they would be together constantly, twenty-four hours a day.
“We found that we couldn’t get all five children and us and our luggage in an automobile, and we realized that we’d have to buy a bus in Europe. So we invited three of my brother’s children along for the eight weeks, making ten of us, eight children and two adults.
“Now, like many children, they wanted to have their own way about things. Right at the start, we made a crucial decision. We said, ‘This is your trip. You’re in charge.’
“In order to avoid any conflict, each child was given a particular responsibility and made the decisions in that area. The oldest girl was in charge of the money. The next oldest had to decide which cities we would visit and the hotels at which we would stay. Another was in charge of everything to do with eating. Another was responsible for the bus. One was in charge of photography. Another was the trip historian. Every second day, she would write about the most interesting thing that had happened to the group. We would then send her notes back to my secretary who typed them out, mimeographed them, and gave them to our friends
as letters.
“The point is that we gave the children the authority. We gave ourselves only the hardest job, which was to keep our mouths shut when the young people made the inevitable hundreds of childish mistakes.
“Our duty was to get up each morning, pack our one bag each, sit down on the backseat of the bus, and then wait for the children to pay the hotel, tip everybody, and decide where to go next. And to keep our mouths firmly closed.
“The only serious mistake made all summer was not made by any of the children but by me. At the beginning of the trip, I handed out the cash for the first week to the girl in charge—all of it, rather than a portion—and it was more money than any of the eight children had ever seen before. They were overwhelmed by it and determined to manage it wisely so there would be plenty of money left over. I said they could divide any surplus among them, but there I made my mistake. They took such an interest in saving that they didn’t want us to have a hotel room with a bath—too expensive. They were suddenly opposed to restaurants. They wanted us to buy food in grocery stores and eat on the bus.
“My son in charge of hotels, age seventeen, was the only one of the eight children who had been in Europe before, and he decided we wouldn’t need any advance reservations. It happened to be the busiest tourist summer Europe had ever had up to that time, and here were ten of us in a bus with no reservations. We would drive into a town at about five o’clock in the afternoon and we’d say to my son, ‘We’re going to have tea while you find us a place to stay.’
“Surprisingly enough, he managed to find us a place to sleep every single night. Not always deluxe, but something. In Yugoslavia we slept on cots in a high school auditorium, and in Frankfurt he came up with a restored bomb shelter with no windows.
The Templeton Plan Page 4