by Azzurra Nox
“When are we doing this?”
“The 21st,” she told Lena, “It’s the longest day of the year. Which means there’s less hours of the night, weakening the strength of any power that is made of darkness.”
“Makes sense,” she said, although from her tone, Jon knew that Lena didn’t fully grasp Hope’s reasoning. He wasn’t even sure if he comprehended the whole plan, but he could only trust Hope in what she was doing. After she had cast a protective spell on St. Lucy’s Academy Adriel had been unable to harm any of its students. Or at least it appeared that way, even if school was over now, so maybe that helped too.
“So we’re meeting up at ten forty-five at Griffith Park on the 21st?” Jon wanted to make sure that he had the details down.
Hope nodded. He bit down on his lip, looking up at the sky. A crow flew over. It’s dark wings seemed suitable in the grey overcast sky. It almost reminded him of a winter day, only winter days in Los Angeles were sunny and rarely as dark as summer days were. He often thought that it was a strange thing for summers to be so grey in a city that’s famous for its rays. But he liked this weather, it reminded him of a New York Autumn. If only there were majestic trees lining the streets, and the smell of rain in the air. But there was none of that here.
His thoughts went back to the message he found on the mirror that morning. You can make it last forever, you. That’s what Milly had always wanted, was a prospect of a forever. Or at least the belief that love could last forever. But he wasn’t sure if love lasted forever. Nothing in life was meant to last. Maybe not even emotions were meant to last. Everything was mutable, nothing was static and unchangeable. Maybe the secret to keep on going was to be accepting of changes. Although the scars on his arms proved that he hadn’t come to terms with the biggest change in his life. And although he’d never admit it to anyone, maybe emotions weren’t so easily mutable. Maybe love was stronger than any other sentiment that exists, because his love for his twin brother still persists. A part of him never moved on from that day in Coney Island where he lost a chunk of his heart.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The clock struck ten o’clock, and yet Lena was still busy practicing the new ballet steps the instructor had taught them a couple of days ago. Her serious expression would make one think that she was concentrating on a difficult math problem instead of trying to put her feet in the right position, as she held her chin up, looking at the reflection of herself in the mirror. Soft classical music played in the background to aid her movements and help her keep the tempo. Her hair was up in a relaxed bun, with a few tendrils falling out, as she blew some of the loose strands away from her face, shifting her weight unto her right foot. There was a knock on the door, and she stopped.
“Yes?”
Her dad walked into the room. “You still practicing?”
“Yeah, if I want to get the lead in the upcoming play, I’m going to have to work my butt off this summer.”
“Don’t overwork yourself, sweetie. It’s your summer vacation, don’t your friends do anything for fun at night?”
“Who? Jon? He’s probably busy with Sydney anyway,” she scoffed, looking back into the mirror and trying to focus on what she was doing prior to him walking into her room.
“What about that girl you always hang out with?”
“Bethany?”
“Yes, why don’t you go out with her sometime?”
“She’s vacationing at St. Tropez.” She hadn’t seen Bethany since the Prom.
She could tell her father was stumped because his clicked his tongue, and it was something he always did whenever he tried to think of the next thing to say but didn’t have a clue.
“I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“What?”
“I got a job offer for a research at a university in Bucharest.”
Her limbs froze in place. No. This couldn’t be true. No. Not again. She couldn’t fathom having to leave. Not now. Not once more. Her thoughts quickly flew to Jon, and she felt like a stake nestled in the center of her chest, slowly turning, making the pain unbearable. She wasn’t worried about Michael. He’d be able to see her anywhere, if so he wished. But with Jon it wouldn’t be the same. She didn’t like to openly admit it, but she had never had a friend like Jon.
“Say something, sweetie. Are you mad?”
She quickly turned around, her eyes ablaze with a glare. “Mad? That would be an understatement! I don’t want to move again! All my friends are here, and my senior year is approaching. Why can’t we just stay in one place? So what if they offered you a job at Bucharest, you’re working here at UCLA, you don’t need to accept the offer!”
“But I thought it was in your best interest. I’d be making more money, and it’d go into your college fund.”
“We have enough money as it is, besides, I can always look into scholarships. I really don’t want to move,” her voice shook with anger, and she tried to keep herself calm by taking a deep breath. “I’m like a flower without roots, and someday I’ll just blow away if you don’t stop transplanting me from one place to another.”
“I didn’t know you were so attached to Los Angeles.”
“That’s because you never asked me. I like it here. I like my friends here. My life is here. I don’t want to move to freaking Bucharest!” She kept his gaze, and his blue eyes looked defeated as he downcast them to floor, and muttered about how he wasn’t going to accept the offer and that she shouldn’t worry about it anymore.
Once he left the room, she finally unclenched her fists. Little half-moons were imprinted on the inside of her palms in vibrant red. Lena reached out for her mobile, looking through her contacts and called Jon. Maybe he was still out with Sydney, she wasn’t certain, but of one thing she was sure, she didn’t want to spend the next few hours at home. She suddenly felt restless and needed an escape. He picked up on the fourth ring.
“Were you driving?”
“Hey, Lena. No, I wasn’t. What’s up?”
“Can I see you in twenty minutes?”She heard noise in the background, but couldn’t make out what it was. Then he replied, “I’m in Malibu. But I could be there in half an hour.”
Malibu. Sydney lived there. He was still with her. Her stomach felt a little queasy thinking that maybe she had disturbed them.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Just give me time to get there, okay?”
“Okay. See you.”
“Later.” Jon hung up, and Lena quickly got out of her leotard and en pointe slippers. The night had gotten chilly, so she pulled on a pair of black leggings and then slipped into a black and white star patterned short dress with lacy layers on the skirt and long sleeves. She pulled her hair out of the bun and ran her fingers through her locks to try to untangle any knots before placing the black ribbon in her hair, and pulling the silver rosary down over her head. Grabbing her messenger bag, she headed out the bedroom door and ran into her dad who was taking some books into the study.
“Hey, where you going?”
“I’m seeing Jon.”
“It’s almost eleven!”
“Just a second ago you complained I wasn’t seeing any of my friends.”
“Yes, but not at this hour!”
“We’re just going to the coffee shop down the block, don’t worry,” she said, kneeling down to slip on a pair of black Doc Martens. “Besides, it’s not even that late seeing that I don’t have to wake up early tomorrow morning.”
Exasperated her dad just shook his head, “Fine,” he sighed and headed towards his study with the stack of books.
Lena grabbed a black jacket before heading out of the door, and taking the stairs down. Checking her wrist watch, she hoped that Jon was already downstairs because it was nearing close to the hour he promised he’d show up at.
A sudden gust of wind picked up, and a sound like that of birds in flight filled the night. Lena’s eyes shot upwards, her heartbeat quickening, afraid that it could be Adriel. She wasn’t even
sure how she’d confront her. The hairs on the back of her neck rose, and she held her breath for what seemed like hours. Then a pair of hands touched her hips, and fear seeped into her veins making her immobile.
“What do you want?” regretting that her voice came out shaky with doubt, rather than decisive and unafraid.
A voice all too familiar whispered in her ear, “I just can’t seem to stay away from you.”
“Michael!” she gasped, turning around to face him, thinking that it couldn’t be real. He wasn’t really there unless she saw him with her very own eyes.
His chestnut hair framed his face, and emerald eyes pierced right through her. He was shirtless,which meant that he had probably been in flight. The streetlight fell against his bare chest, and showed off every chiseled ab. She was weak in the knees and almost hated being so helpless in his presence.
“What are you doing here?”
“I had to see you.”
“You can’t just do this. You can’t just pop in and out of my life as you please. Who do you think you are?” she knew she sounded angry and didn’t seem to care of how her tone could affect him. “Why do you get to choose when to see me? Or if you want to see me? You have full control, and I’m tired of just being the hapless girl who fell in love with the wrong boy.”
“You think I’m the wrong one?”
“I don’t even know what I think anymore. I just know that you can’t keep doing this. You come and go without saying anything. I can’t take this anymore. You know how many nights I’ve spent crying over you because you left that night? Because I knew that we were over? Of course you don’t know. You’re too busy saving souls and completing your missions to care about how I feel.”
“That’s not true. I do care.”
“Then stop doing this.” She looked down at his fingernails that seemed to be lacquered with black varnish. “And what’s up with this getup?” she indicated to the nails and leather pants, “Trying to save Keith Richards’ soul?”
“No, I was in Berlin investigating the perdition of its youth.”
“And you had to look like this?”
“German teens are dark creatures,” he told her, “Especially the troubled ones.”
“Right. And that’s another reason why this has got to stop.”
“Because of how I’m dressed?” he said with smirk and a cheeky laugh.
“No, not that. It’s because your missions are more important. You could be away for weeks on end, which time has no effect on you since you’re an immortal, but to me, it means something. It means that I’m living those moments without you.”
“I’m sorry if I’ve complicated your life.”
“You complicated my life the moment you took my mother with you,” she glared at him, and her tone was accusatory. There was a part of her that still resented him for that, even if he insisted that he had no power over people’s personal choice.
“I see that you still don’t understand,” his voice was almost a growl filled with anger.
“What’s there to understand? And maybe I don’t want to understand. Maybe Jon is right, you and I are too different for any of this to ever work,” she was going to say something else when he grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her against the wall. The force behind his actions was sudden and hard enough that it knocked the air out of her lungs for a moment. Gasping for breath, with her body pinned against the cold brick, she shouted, “What’s wrong with you?! Let me go!”
“You think it’s easy for me? To understand your kind? To comprehend why I’m feeling this way for you? I shouldn’t feel this. And yet, I do.” He hit the wall next to her violently. Bits and pieces of concrete and brick crumbled to the ground.
“Michael, stop!”
“You don’t understand how conflicted I feel,” his voice was low, almost menacing. “All you care about is your pain. You shouldn’t let your pain keep you back. You shouldn’t allow it to control you.”
“I don’t know what you mean!”
“I don’t have the power to alter anyone’s destiny. Everyone makes their own destiny by the choices they make. I couldn’t save your mother because that man made the wrong choice. You want someone to blame, then blame him!”
“But I miss her so much.”
“She’s in a better place. I made sure of that.”
There was an awkward silence between the two of them. Lena didn’t dare move a single muscle, for his grip on her was like that of an iron fist. She closed her eyes, biting down on her lip to muffle the sobs.
“This love is eating away at me,” she looked into his eyes that seemed to have an unexplainable flame in them. “I don’t know what to do. You left me, and I’ve tried to cope with that. Now you’ve come back. You can’t do this. Don’t toy with my emotions just because I’m weaker than you.”
“I tried to stay away. But I can’t,” his lips were at her neck now, and she felt his warm breath on her skin. “I wish it were easy for me to just give up on this feeling. But you give me this rush that I can’t explain, it’s almost as exhilarating as when I crush an evil force. That’s the only time I ever felt that rush before, until you.”
“So I’m as thrilling as killing someone? That’s kind of messed up.”
“I’m a warrior, it’s normal.”
“Nothing about any of this is normal,” she whispered as she struggled against him. His grip hadn’t loosened, and so it was impossible for her to move. “So what do you want from me? You want me to be okay for you to throw me aside when you feel remorse for what you’re doing and to be ready to embrace you when you’re in the mood to see me? Because I can’t do that. I can’t. Now let me go.”
A car was approaching. Michael quickly released Lena. His wings sprung forth, and he was elevated above her in a matter of seconds. Too fast for her eyes to keep track. She was still looking up when Jon’s car stopped at the sidewalk. Her body was still plastered against the wall. Jon parked the car and got out.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked.
But she couldn’t look at him because her gaze was fixed at the sky. There was no trace of Michael. Why hadn’t she told him what she really felt? That she had tried to move on but it was impossible? Snapping out of her momentary daze, she blinked her eyes, and then cast them straight at Jon.
“Let’s go.”
“Okay,” he opened the door for her, and waited for her to step into the car. Closing the door, she waited for him to get into the driver’s seat. When he was inside she told him in a deadpan voice, “My dad was thinking about moving to Bucharest.”
“What? Why?” Jon was visibly shaken by the sudden news.
“He got a job offer,” she watched his knuckles turn white as he gripped on the steering wheel tightly like he wanted to choke someone.
“This can’t be happening.”
“I told him that I wasn’t going to leave.”
“You think he’s going to take your advice?”
“I hope so. It would suck to have to move my senior year.”
“Tell me about it,” he muttered turning the ignition on as he placed the car in drive and sped away. “Is that why you wanted to see me?”
“Yes, but not just for that.” she said, looking out at the palm tree trunks that were lightened up like playful Christmas toys. One would think that they were lit because of a particular holiday, but that wasn’t the case. The lights were always up, as though it’s always a holiday in Los Angeles. A place where seasons don’t exist so you can pretend that every day is a special day.
“What else?”
“I just missed you.”
A silence ensued in the car where the only audible sound was that of the engine speeding. To break the silence, Jon turned on the radio.
“Broadcasting live tonight from a dumpy little building in beautiful downtown Culver City, this is 93.1 Jack FM. Playing what we want,” the DJ announced in a voice tinged with enthusiasm but wanting to come across as suave. The beginning notes of The Kill
s’ Black Balloon took hold of the atmosphere. It was slow, with a nostalgic feel to it, and Lena looked over at Jon. His face was bathed in the city lights coming in from the window.
“Say something. Anything,” it came out almost as a plea.
“Lena, I just never know what you’re thinking or feeling. One minute you’re pining over Michael, the next you’re saying you miss me.”
“I’ll just keep how I feel to myself then.”
“That’s not what I meant,” he let out a frustrated sigh, and reached down for his pack of cigarettes in the cup holder. Sliding the top down, he yanked a cigarette out with his teeth, as he blindly searched for a lighter nearby. She wondered why he didn’t use the one on the dash.
“Don’t smoke,” she scolded him, reaching across him, and pulling the cigarette out of his mouth. “Look, I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I’m confused.” She closed her eyes, all the thoughts in her head were swelling like a giant blister ready to explode.
“That isn’t enough for me. I just can’t be the one you rely on just ‘cause your winged lover isn’t around.”
“He came for me.”
“What? When?!”
“Tonight.”
Jon’s speed increased and he cursed under his breath as he ran a red light. At that hour, it wasn’t typical for the police to stop them, especially when a camera flashed after their speedy departure, meaning that Jon’s vehicle had been photographed for speeding.
“Slow down! You just ran a red, are you crazy?”
“Why did you see him?”
“I was waiting for you! He just showed up out of nowhere!”
“I see. Are you two back together, what’s up?”
“We can’t really be together. It’s complicated.”
“But you still love him,” somehow that sounded more an accusation than a question and she took a moment before reluctantly replying.
“Yes. I hate myself for it though.”
“Then there’s no complication. You still love him. That’s it.”
“No! I want to forget him.”