by Azzurra Nox
A young man had locked himself with her in a limousine asking her a million questions attempting to pass himself off as a journalist. Ultimately, he accused her of being responsible for the deaths of a couple of students at his high school. The very thought of being implicated with the loss of young lives gravely vexed her. Madoka had tried to remove that incident from her mind, but every so often in the past days she had thought about it. How had a teenage boy read between the lines to discover that the incident described in her book had truly happened in reality? The fact that he knew that she had made a pact to stay alive both perplexed and frightened her. Snatching the velvet choker from her neck so violently to prove his point that she had been attacked to death just like her character in Cut Here.
Fumes from the hot water invaded the room, creating a thick vapor. Madoka was beginning to feel drowsy from the excessive high temperature, and decided to step out of the shower. Her wet hair clung to her scalp like matted moss to a rock after a rainstorm. The moment she was out, she began to feel breathless like something was constricting the airflow in her throat. She quickly slipped a towel around her, and staggered out of the bathroom leaving wet imprints on the cold floor.
The vapor was slowly emanating from the bathroom. It seemed to follow her like a wraith. With troubled breathing and a distraught mind, her fingers clawed around her neck trying to catch her breath. Panic set in, and she disregarded anything around her. Not noticing the scattered books on the floor. She fell to her knees, crawling, trying to reach for her mobile to call for help. But the tightness around her throat grew more acute, like invisible hands clutching her neck tightly making it impossible to breathe.
Gasping frantically, her feet kicked out wildly as she fought against an invisible intruder. Terror seized her like a trapped mouse beneath the paw of an unrelenting cat, too proud and merciless of its catch to let it run free. Madoka tried to make out words, but they wouldn’t come out. She didn’t have enough breath left in her to scream or call for help. Soon the room was spinning, and closing in on her. On her back, the white ceiling seemed less distant than it was. The grip around her neck grew stronger, and without much effort, she expelled her final breath, her body curled over the pages of a poetry book. Her mouth touched the words on the page, as poetry died on her lips or merely taken her breath away.
Los Angeles, California 2010
Chapter One
The church Our Lady of Angels looked massive from the outside. Indoors, the altar was structured in marble with gold outlines of angels around the red marble podium. Kneeling at an oak wooden pew, Lena passed the silver rosary beads through her fingers. She didn’t recall all the prayers, but just needed a moment of silence. The act usually reminded her of her mother. With eyes closed, she didn’t realize that someone had knelt beside her till she heard a familiar voice whisper, “I can’t have you going to Griffith Park tomorrow night.”
“There’s nothing you can do or say to change my mind, Michael,” she scooted down a few inches away from him. His mere presence was a weight in the room. Like a magnet pulling all the attention towards him, and she didn’t want to give in. Not today.
“It’s dangerous. I can’t have you go there.”
“How do you know that I’m going there anyway? Been reading my mind?”
“I can focus on people’s thoughts, but I can’t prevent events from happening.”
“You’ve made that clear enough.”
“Why are you so hostile?”
Letting out an exasperated sigh, she opened her eyes and turned to him. She detested feeling the treacherous pull at her heart whenever she cast her eyes upon him. The afternoon sun filtered through the glass stained windows caressing Michael’s chestnut waves with a golden stroke. She could see it, just barely, shielding her eyes from the rays, a tiny hint of sorrow in his expression from the way she had treated him. But that still didn’t ease her heart into a forgiving mound of clay that could quite simply brush his past actions aside like a tsunami hitting a town full force obliterating both their past and present.
“Because you’ve been acting like a jerk!”
“I’m the jerk?! You’re the one who’s making out with some other guy the second we’re not together anymore!”
“What? How dare you spy on me!” she was shocked, although she had had the suspicion that he had seen her with Jon that night in the woods.
A few people turned around, glaring at the two of them, whilst others told them to keep it down. Embarrassed, she stood up, determined to make her exit, but Michael grabbed her wrist.
“Don’t go!”
“Let go of me!”
“I’m sorry for the other night.”
She pulled her arm away from him the second he relented, and walked in a brisk pace to reach the church’s exit. The sound of her footsteps echoed down the altar, trying to make her way out of the maze like hallway. Tall glass windows surrounded her on one side, seeing the rolling hills outside and the stretch of roads that lead to the freeways.
“Do you love him?”
“You’re such an idiot!” she turned to face him. Watched his face contort into a surprised expression at her explosion. “I love you! But like you said, we can’t be together because it’s too much of a danger for both you and I, so what do you want me to do? Pine for you? I don’t know why I did what I did with Jon, okay? Now just leave me alone.”
“You know why you did it. It’s because you’re attracted to him.”
“We’re just friends.”
“Friends don’t do the things you two were doing that night.”
“So we made out, big deal! We’re not even together anymore. I don’t even know why I’m talking to you about this.”
“You’re right. It’s pointless.”
Somehow the way he said that made her heart sink. There was a part of her that wanted him to fight for their love, and not be so lackadaisical. But there was also another part of her that wished that he would only allow her to forget him, because seeing him so often only helped to incite the flame in her heart even more so.
“I’m going to Griffith Park tomorrow, and that’s final.”
“Be careful. You and your friends are playing with fire.”
“I’m not afraid of getting burned.” With that final statement, she left him behind walking away without looking back at him not even once, too afraid to see if he had already left, not caring to watch her as she walked away from him for the nth time.
* * *
With a heavy heart, Lena sat on her bed contemplating whether to call Jon or not. She stared at her mobile with her finger placed on the call button, but something inside her was keeping her from executing that action. There was a knock at the door. Without looking behind her shoulder, she knew that it was her dad.
“Sweetie?”
“Yes?” she said without turning around, her gaze still fixated on her phone. She hadn’t spoken to Jon since that night in the woods.
“I wanted to let you know that I declined that job at Bucharest,” he interrupted her thoughts.
“Did you?” she quickly turned around with a beaming smile. She had been worried that he still was thinking about accepting, and the mere thought of that had made her feel physically ill on more than one occasion in the past few days.
“Yes. I got another offer though.”
“Oh…” her smile seemed like that of a puppet on strings where the mention of another offer made the strings collapse and it fell to an instant frown.
“The university wants me to do a research that will have me going to San Nicolas Island three times a week.”
“Where’s that?”
“It’s a remote island not too far from here. I’ll fly out there in the morning and be back by night.”
“What sort of research are you going to be doing?”
“I’m going to try to find out more about the infamous ‘The Lone Woman of San Nicolas Island.’ She was left behind when the other natives were moved to the mainla
nd where she lived on the island on her own for eighteen years.”
“That sounds fascinating,” she said with a grin, knowing that this kind of mysterious piece of history was the kind of studies that her dad most loved.
“It is, I can’t wait to get started.”
“So when do you have to go?”
“Sometime in August, the dean hasn’t informed me yet,” his eyes held a glimmer of hope, and the way his smile turned up at the side of his mouth indicated that he was happy about this opportunity. Sure, a remote island wasn’t the same as going to Bucharest, but Lena could sense that her father was satisfied with this research just as much. He turned to leave her room, when Lena added, “Thanks, dad,” and briefly left her seat on her bed to give him a warm hug.
“What for?”
“I know that you wanted to go to Bucharest. Being able to do research on Vlad Tepes isn’t the same as the Lone Woman, I know.”
“Don’t say that, sweetie. A lot of people have done research on Vlad Tepes, what else would I be able to discover that hasn’t been already said? I have a good feeling about this project,” he gave her a tight embrace back.
She leaned her head against his chest for a moment relishing in the feel of his strong figure holding her up. Often, it brought her back in time to when she was younger and saw her dad as a strong individual. He was still strong, but after her mother’s death he had become a shadow of himself. Although gradually, the both of them were attempting to move on, or survive the fatal fall.
“What were you doing anyway?”
“Aw, nothing much. Just trying to see if Jon was home.”
“You and him have been pretty tight lately. Anything I should know?” he pulled away to give her a knowing look, with an arch of his eyebrow.
A little embarrassed, she let out of a nervous laughter. “Dad! No! It’s nothing like that! We’re just friends!”
“Okay, okay, I believe you,” he said with a wink, and then headed towards the door of her bedroom, “But you just tell him that if he gets fresh with you that I’ve got a shotgun waiting for him.”
“Dad! Don’t be silly. I’m telling you it’s not like that at all!”
“Okay, just be careful.”
He was soon down the hallway, and Lena went back to her personal battle of whether to call Jon or not. She wasn’t even sure what she was going to say, but she had to break this silence. Maybe she could mention to him their plan to meet in Griffith Park. She was certain that he hadn’t forgotten about that. Taking a deep breath, she looked down at her mobile and clicked on his name. The phone rang. Either now or never. But the phone continued to ring with no answer. Nervous, she tried to keep calm and wondered what was detaining him from responding. Was he purposely avoiding her? And if he was, why would he do such a thing? No. She was certain that he wasn’t. But then what else was keeping him from answering her call?
The monotone sound of the outgoing ringing was like a broken metronome that seemed to ring the sound of doom like one approaching a death row electric chair. Dread filled her limbs making them heavy and her head pound. Lena walked towards her window, opening it as she cradled the phone against her cheek trying to keep it positioned as she pulled the curtains away to allow the night air to fill the room. The fog was beginning to crawl like a velvet snake, slipping undisturbed around the city. Waiting, patiently to unleash its venom when its victim was least expecting it. The sound of the ringing burned into her ear, her heart plummeting like a brick to the bottom of a murky pond. Outside, the night was full of life as the fog quilted the city in it’s claustrophobic shawl of whiteness.
Chapter Two
The Pacific winds were picking up, although it wasn’t quite that late. Jon’s hair blew into his eyes, but he made no attempt to stop it. Instead, he remained seated on the sand, smoking. Sydney was swimming, but he saw her move in towards the shore, and walk out of the ocean. Her wet body shivered against the wind, crossing her arms. Goosebumps were visible on her pale limbs, and he knew that she had to be cold. The lower portion of her body seemed as though it had been dipped in the blackest ink. Parts of her pale skin were visible while other portions were strewn in ebony like a Rorschach blob stretching around her legs.
“It must be freezing!” he walked over to her, placing his leather jacket around her shoulders. “You’re a little crazy to want to swim at this hour!”
“It’s no big deal, Connor and I used to always come around this time of night to swim.”
“Dressed like that?” he indicated to her white bikini that left nothing to the imagination. It made him feel like he was dating a model the way she looked in that swimsuit.
“Yeah? It’s a swimsuit. What else would one be using to swim?”
“Of course,” he shook his head, figured that Connor must have nerves of steel if he could stay around Sydney without attempting to hook up with her after all their time spent together. “Let’s get going though.”
“Alright.”
The two of them walked along the sand, till they reached the spot where Jon had been sitting only a few moments ago. Sydney had left a pair of sandals and a pink dress with a flower pattern on the ground before going in for a dip. She readily put them on, whilst Jon took the final drag of his cigarette before tossing it aside. That’s when his mobile went off. He knew from the ringtone that it was Lena, because he had programmed Don’t Fear the Reaper to play whenever she’d call. They hadn’t spoken to each other since the night in the woods and he was nervous to talk to her at that moment. Especially having Sydney right there with him.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?”
Jon’s mobile continued to ring like mad, vibrating in his hand. He stared at the screen, uncertain of what to do.
“I don’t know. It’s just Lena.”
“Aren’t you going to talk to her?”
“No.”
“Something up?”
“No, no, we’re cool. I just….” his voice trailed off as he watched the screen flash with her name and the ringtone blaring into his brain drowning out the soft sounds of the ocean waves crashing upon the rocks.
“Maybe it’s important?”
“Maybe,” the screen continued to flash and the ringtone only got louder every passing second. Annoyed, he walked away and answered the phone, pressing down on the green button. “Yes?”
“Jon?”
“Yeah, what’s up? You know it’s late.”
“I know, I’m sorry for the hour, but I figured you were still awake.”
“Yeah…”
“Did I disturb you?”
“No, I was just taking Sydney back home.”
“Oh.” He heard shuffling in the background, some muffled sound, and then she spoke again, “I just wanted to say that I wasn’t leaving. My dad got a project here. So we’re staying.”
A strange weight released from his shoulders the moment she told him that. He felt light like a leaf floating in midair.
“Really? That’s awesome!”
“Yeah. I just wanted to let you know that. I’ll let you go now.”
“Lena, wait, don’t hang up yet,” he walked further away from Sydney, till he was certain that she wasn’t within earshot. Nonetheless, his voice was hushed when he said, “I’m sorry that I haven’t called or anything. I just didn’t know how you felt after the other night. I thought you were pissed at me or something like that. I wasn’t trying to ignore you or anything.”
“No, I’m not pissed. I just don’t know what to think about what happened.”
“Is that bad?”
“No. I’m just confused.”
“I see.”
“You’re still up for tomorrow night?”
“You’re having second thoughts?”
“No, no, absolutely not! I’m in.”
“Awesome. I’ll pick you up a little before midnight.”
“Excellent. See you then,” she said and hung up before he could say goodbye to her.
“What did
she want?” Sydney inquired approaching him.
“Oh, nothing important.”
“It had to be something important to call you at this hour.”
“Her dad was wanting to move, but decided not to in the end.”
“Oh, well, I’m happy that she isn’t leaving. She’s your friend,” the way she said it, the word friend was emphasized and Jon wasn’t sure how to take it.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Nothing. I just meant that I’m sure you would’ve been devastated if she were to leave.”
“I’d miss her, yeah. Just like you’d miss Connor if he were to leave.”
Sydney grabbed hold of his hand, interlocking her fingers with his. Looking down, she softly said, “And I was teasing earlier. I’d always wear a wetsuit. I didn’t want anyone to see my legs, not even him.”
He squeezed her hand in understanding. They walked in silence till they reached his car. There was no sounds in the air but for the faraway crashing of the waves and the occasional car passing by on the Pacific Coast Highway. The moonlight aided their walk where the streetlights were far, and soon they were in his car. Sydney talked about the coming school year, enthusiasm pouring from every syllable. Jon vaguely paid attention nodding at the right moments to pass off that he was focused on her discussion. But his mind was far away. Often, at night, he wondered where Robert was. What happened to him that fateful summer day on Coney Island? Where would he be now? Would he still be in New York? Or was he far away from what he knew as home? Looking over at Sydney, her bright smile gave his life the normalcy it lacked. Forever nursing an unhealed wound. Lena understood him because she felt something similar with her mother’s death. Sometimes, he thought that if she and him could bring together their sorrow, maybe the pain would dissipate under the weight of his optimism for the two of them. His heart still yearned for her, and he tried to stifle the shrill that came from within, that wouldn’t leave him alone no matter what. That voice inside of him that was certain that letting her go was the biggest mistake of his life. He had let go of a part of him that day on Coney Island, and he couldn’t let go of something special once more. But the odds were against him. Lena was still in love with Michael. Although that night in the woods seemed to deceivingly tell him otherwise. Confusion chewed at the fortress in his chest that beat strong and wild anytime he was with Lena, and weakened when he was away from her.