I have no idea what to think anymore.
“Look for her tell, got it. Anything else?”
“Figure out how she bets, too. Is she aggressive or a nit?”
“A what?”
He sighs. “Someone who only bets on the cards they know have a high chance of winning. Does she take risks or is she safe? Does she bluff a lot or never at all? Just try to be perceptive of her game plan.”
I pinch my fingers over the bridge of my nose. “This isn’t as easy as I thought it would be.”
Dad chuckles, which isn’t a sound I’m used to hearing from him. “Nothing in life ever is, Son.”
It’s silent for a moment as I flip through the file, trying to see if there’s anything else I need to ask, but it’s my father who speaks first.
“Was I a good dad, Kip?”
I close the file, sitting up on the couch and rubbing one of my eyes under my glasses. Where the hell did this come from?
I repeat the words in my head… a good dad. What exactly does that mean? He had a job, he was brave and taught me everything I know about respect. He provided for our family and I never went without. Hell, we have way more than any other family I know. He put me in sports and let me take piano lessons even though he wasn’t a fan of the idea. He never beat me, never cheated on my mom. So, that’s a good dad, right?
“Sure, you were a good dad. Of course you were. You still are. Why?”
He sighs. “I don’t know, sometimes I just wonder if maybe I was too hard on you. I know you don’t care about this poker tournament and I don’t want to push you away by asking you to do this for me, Oliver.”
What is with all the name drops lately?
“Listen Dad, I know this is important to you. And UCLA is important to me. You’ve always taught me that nothing in life comes free or without sacrifice, and this is my sacrifice. One semester and tournament isn’t going to kill me. And believe it or not, I’m having some fun here in Florida, too. In fact,” I add, standing and peeking out the blinds of my window toward the beach. “It’s a beautiful day here and I was just about to go enjoy it.”
“Okay Son,” he says, coughing again. “Well, work on getting everything squared away with Skyler this week, okay? You don’t have a lot of time left.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it under control.”
“Okay then. Talk to you soon.”
“Bye, Dad.” I end the call and drag myself to the bathroom, stepping into the shower. I can’t help but be overwhelmed with thoughts of Skyler standing here, the water slowly running down the inside of her thighs. I quickly wash my hair and rinse off, not even allowing myself enough time to let the water run warm. I need to get her out of my head.
It’s time to start playing dirty, to rattle her, push her buttons. She screwed me over and played me. Little does she know, I was sent here to play her. She has no idea who she’s up against.
I grab a pair of board shorts and throw them on before putting my contacts in and finding my aviators. I haven’t shaved since Friday so there’s a little scruff on my face, but I leave it. After a quick spray of cologne, I head out the door and lock it behind me. It’s a perfect day for the beach, and I’m banking on a certain sorority noticing that little fact, too.
The breeze rolling in from the water is the only thing saving me from sweating right now. The sun is hot and high in the sky without a cloud to block it and the beach is packed, as I suspected. I’m pretty sure everyone from Palm South is here. At least, I hope so.
“Kip!” I hear my name being called and see Kade jogging toward me from where a volleyball net is set up. I smile, but I’m thankful I can hide behind my shades. I’m not sure I’m completely ready to pull off a calm façade.
“Sup, man? You all right?” He asks, breathless when he finally reaches me.
“Yeah man, why wouldn’t I be?” I try to act casual, not fazed in the least.
“Uh, let’s see.” He pulls his shades off and waves them as he talks. “Your girlfriend who was only really your girlfriend for like a day broke up with you and told you she only dated you to get back at her ex-boyfriend, who just so happens to be your fraternity president, and then you chased her outside and almost got into a fight with said president, then you ran away and no one has heard from you since. Ring a bell?”
Well shit, when you put it like that.
I laugh, shoving his shoulder. “You make it sound like a Lifetime movie. I came out here hoping my brothers would have beer, not questions.”
He eyes me hesitantly, but shrugs and throws his glasses back on. “Well, looks like you joined the right frat, then. Come on, the ice chest is over here.”
After Kade fixes me up with a koozie and a beer, I scan the beach until I spot who I came here for. I quickly down the beer in my hand and replace it with another before making my way to the group of girls sprawled out in low-sitting beach chairs.
“Afternoon, ladies,” I say, taking a sip from my can as I scan the girls. Erin, Jess, Ashlei, Cassie, and Skyler are all in a line, their bright swim suits reflecting the glare of the sun. Erin holds her hand to shield her eyes and peeks up at me smiling. The rest of the girls stare at me dumbfounded. Skyler has her shades on – not the ones I bought her that I ended up breaking last night, but shades nonetheless. I can’t read her eyes, but her mouth is hanging open and that’s good enough for me.
“Well, hello there, handsome,” Erin says, predictably. I can always count on her superficial bullshit. I’m sure she couldn’t give two shits about what happened Friday, about me, about Skyler, or anyone else for that matter. She changed after the summer we spent together. Gone is the cool, relaxed girl who liked to listen to me play on my keyboard. She’s been replaced with someone fixed on popularity and making her parents happy. I can’t for the life of me understand people who care so much about what others think.
But then again, thinking of my current situation with my father, I guess I’m not one to talk.
“You girls need a drink? We’ve got a cooler up by the volleyball net.”
Jess lifts her tumbler full of light pink liquid. “We’re all set, thanks.”
I offer a smile. “Well, if you run out, you know where to find us.” I try to keep my eyes trained on Erin, but again I’m thankful for the dark tint on my shades because Skyler couldn’t be any more distracting in her bright pink suit. Although, I can’t help but wonder if it’s actually hers or just something her sisters dressed her in. Pink doesn’t strike me as a color she would pick out on her own. Regardless, her skin is catching a nice glow from the rays and that tight stomach of hers glistens in the sun as just a tiny film of sweat gathers. Her legs stretch out into the sand and her hair is flowing freely around her face, catching in her mouth that’s still hanging open as she stares at me.
“Erin.” I turn my focus and put on my charm. “Are you free tonight? I was thinking maybe we could catch up. I haven’t really had a chance to talk to you since I got here and before that it had been at least two years since we had a conversation. What do you think? Wanna grab a bottle of Jack and reminisce on the good ol’ days of harvest?”
Her eyes light up and I feel kind of like an asshole for dragging her into this, but she’s a reliable pawn in the game and I need her for now. The last thing I want to do is hang out with her, but regardless of what Skyler says about her and Adam, I know she cares about me. There’s no better way for her to realize that than to see me with another girl. Especially if she knows that girl and I have a past.
“You bring the bottle and I’ll make my grandma’s famous sandwiches. They’ll be the perfect ingredients to travel back in time,” she says, still smiling.
I nod. “I can hardly wait. Pick you up at seven?”
Erin bites her lip a little, a gesture that used to turn me on as a junior in high school but now just makes me want to sprint in the opposite direction. She may be reliable, but she’s still crazy as far as I’m concerned. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know I was playing
with fire here.
“It’s a date.”
I smile and offer a slight wave to the girls before trudging back up the beach to my brothers. Adam’s standing with Kade now and I know he’s the next person I need to cross off my list. I need to fall back under the radar, get right with everyone and play the rest of this game with my head on straight.
Turning back one last time, I catch Skyler watching me over her shoulder. She quickly turns back around, adjusting her glasses and taking a sip from her cup. I smile, feeling a little relief set in. Dad said to rattle her, right? Push her buttons? See what gets her worked up?
Something tells me I might have just figured it out.
“Are you sure the heels aren’t too much? I’m still not sure what we’re doing and I want to appear nice but not eager,” Erin asks for the seventh time, twisting to view her slim frame from the side in her full length mirror again. I’m lying on her bed looking up at the ceiling and don’t even bother leaning up.
“Big, you look amazing. Trust me, don’t change anything.”
“I agree,” Cassie chimes in. “You’re killing it in those heels, G-Big. I don’t know how he’s going to keep his hands off you. Those shoes paired with those shorts make your legs look fantastic.”
A small pain aches in my stomach at the mention of Kip touching Erin, but I’m growing used to it. It’s kind of comforting, actually. At least I’m not numb. At least I feel something.
“Touché, Baby G.” Erin struts over to her dresser and snatches up a small clutch, stuffing it with lip gloss and her ID essentials. When she finishes, she drops down into the chair and stares down at her fingers nervously. “I’m scared for tonight. We’ve hung out all week and things have been amazing, but this is the first actual date we’ve been on since high school.”
There’s that sickening pain again.
I chew my lip, trying to find the strength inside to hold it together. I knew this was coming, but I guess in a way I didn’t think I really had to prepare for it. I knew I wouldn’t have Kip, but after hearing the way he talked about Erin, I didn’t think her plan would ever work out the way she wanted. I thought he would ignore all of us, go hang out with his brothers and let me hate myself in peace. Hell, there was even a part of me that thought maybe after Erin realized he wouldn’t be with her, she’d move on and I could start talking to him again. Not like he would ever want anything to do with me, but I could dream, right?
None of that mattered, though, because I was wrong. He’d waited a whole thirty-something hours before asking Erin out. And he did it in front of me. Maybe he wanted her all along.
Shit, was he the one playing me?
“Ex, I’m going to smack you so hard your Grand Little will feel it if you don’t quit,” I say, leaning up and forcing a smile to mask my true want to slap her right now. Yes, I know that makes me a shitty Little, but right now I’m in a strange place. “You look beautiful and clearly Kip is into you. He’s been with you all week and anytime you’re not together, your phone is going crazy with texts. He wants to see you and he’s going to have something amazing planned. So stop being crazy and start being excited.”
She smiles, moving to join Cassie and I on the bed. Wrapping me in a fierce hug, she says, “I love you so much, Little. Seriously, so much. I can’t believe what you did for me.” Erin pulls back, her hands still on my shoulders as she studies my eyes. “You’re going to be a phenomenal president, Skyler. I’ve only been doing this a little over a month and I already know you’ll be twice the president I am. Hey,” she adds excitedly, snapping her fingers. “What are you doing tomorrow after class? Come to the PanHellenic meeting with me. I want the other sororities’ officers to get to know you. You could start shadowing and seeing what it’s like. What do you say?”
I smile, but shake my head. “I don’t know, I was kind of hoping to just hang out tomorrow.”
Erin rolls her eyes. “Oh come on. You’ve been ‘hanging out’ every day since the dance. I barely even got you to come to the beach with us on Sunday. Pretty please? It’ll be Big/Little bonding time!”
“You should go, Big,” Cassie chimes in and I give her pleading eyes to back me up, but she doesn’t relent. “It’ll be good for you to get the hang of this stuff before you take office. You’ve seen how hard it’s been for Ex this past month and she’s basically a pro at everything.”
“Aw, thanks Baby G!” Erin beams at Cassie before turning back to me. “So, what do you say? You in?”
My head is starting to spin with the change in Erin’s attitude toward me. Ever since Friday, the evil glares that I was so unaccustomed to have been replaced with the Erin I used to know – the familiar, kind, fun Big I’ve loved since the moment I rushed. But now it’s me pulling away, and over what? A boy?
Boys make girls do really stupid things, sometimes.
“Okay,” I say, smiling. Erin squeals and claps her hands together just as Ashlei and Jess burst through the door.
“Yo, El Presidente,” Jess says as she jumps into bed between me and Cassie. “Loverboy is waiting for you downstairs.”
My stomach lurches.
“Ah!” She jumps up and grabs her clutch before adjusting her tits in her top one more time. “Okay, wish me luck, girls!”
They all shout different variations of “have fun” and “good luck” and I just keep smiling because I’m afraid if I open my mouth, nothing will come out. Nothing that should come out, anyway. Once Erin disappears behind the door closing shut again, Ashlei’s eyes immediately snap to me.
“So, on a scale of one to Amanda Bynes, how close are you to a meltdown right now?”
I sigh, grabbing one of Erin’s pillows and holding it tight to my chest. “I think I’m holding strong at a Tom Cruise pre-Oprah-couch right now.”
“Well, as long as we keep you off talk shows, then, I think you’ll be okay,” Jess says, laughing, but then her face steadies out and she grabs my hand. “Seriously, are you okay?”
“No. But it doesn’t really matter, does it?” I lift my head to face her. “I have to suck it up and figure out a way to be okay, right?”
Ashlei sighs and sits at the foot of the bed by Cassie, folding her hands in her lap. “It’ll get better, Sky. Just give it some time. I’ve learned there’s nothing time and alcohol can’t fix.”
“Well, we seem to be missing one ingredient in that recipe,” I point out.
Jess hops off the bed and scurries down the hall before returning with a bottle of wine. “Have no fear – J-Love is here.”
“How the hell did you get that in here?” Cassie asks, grabbing the bottle and opener from Jess’s hands. She opens it quickly and takes a sip before passing it to me.
“It’s not rocket science, Little Miss Innocent. You just shove it in your book bag. It’s not like Mom Cindy is checking anything around here.”
Mom Cindy is our sweet, but not completely there house mom. She channels her inner hippie from 1974 when shopping for clothes and has a “natural remedy” for just about anything. Although, her hangover tea is pretty amazing. “Little Nug is just too well-behaved for her own good,” I say, lifting the bottle to my lips. It’s a sweet, light pink, fruity wine and not really my taste, but it’ll do.
She crosses her arms defensively. “Whatever. I just know the rules and don’t like to take the chance of getting kicked out of the sorority.”
“Yeah yeah, Goodie Two Shoes.” Jess snatches the bottle from me and tilts it toward my Little, toasting. “Here’s to taking a walk on the wild side.” She takes a big drink and we all laugh.
My phone buzzing makes me stop short, my heart in my throat. Every time it goes off I can’t help but hope Kip’s name pops up on the screen, but it never does. I glance at it hopefully again, but feel the same disappointment wash over me.
“Adam again?” Ashlei asks, nodding toward my phone as Jess hands her the wine bottle. I nod, placing it face-down on the bed again.
“He’s been pretty persistent since Fri
day,” Jess notes.
“Yeah, well,” I say, leaning back against the sea of pillows on Erin’s bed. “He’s the only Alpha Sigma brother talking to me right now, so there’s that.” Adam has texted me every day since the dance and we talked for a while on Sunday at the beach, but he hasn’t brought up what was said Friday night and I’m not sure if it’s because he doesn’t feel that way toward me anymore or because he’s waiting for me. Either way, I’m grateful for the temporary escape.
I notice my Little is quiet now, sipping from the bottle when it’s passed her way but keeping her eyes down otherwise. I can’t help but wonder if she’s upset that Kade hasn’t talked to her since the dance. It’s my fault and we both know it, but neither of us bring it up.
“Are you going to hang out with him?” Ashlei asks.
I sigh. “I don’t know. I guess I probably should after the shit I said Friday night but it was all a lie, so everything’s just going to get messy if I see him. I doubt he still has feelings for me but if he does, then it’s not like we can just hang out as friends like we have been.”
“So you don’t like him that way anymore?”
“No, not even a little bit.” I shake my head, taking a long slug from the bottle. It’s already half empty at this point and I feel the buzz setting in.
“You need to be honest with him then,” my Little says, finally looking up from the bed. “You can’t lead him on, too.”
I frown. “I’m not leading him on, Little. But I can’t just tell him that was all a lie. He’d tell Kip and then there’d be an even bigger mess than there is now. I just have to play this stupid game a little longer. Maybe hang out with Adam a few times and then tell him it’s just not working out or something.”
Her lips purse together. “I don’t think that’s fair to Adam. He doesn’t know about this sick game and he shouldn’t have to be involved like that.”
I can’t help but feel the sting from her words paired with the glare she’s giving me right now. “Little, I’m not trying to hurt anyone. Adam will be fine, we’re friends and we have been since the first time we broke up. He will probably feel the same and it’ll be mutual just like before.”
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