I know I should tell her, I should lay everything out now, but I can’t. I forgive her for her and Erin’s stupid game, but the one I’ve been playing is far worse. I know there would be no coming back.
“I do,” I say softly, kissing her forehead. “I forgive you.”
I feel her weight fall completely into me and I hold her tighter, letting her know I’m there. As I hold her, I go over the words in my head. The words I’ll say when we dock on Tuesday and I call my dad. Once I tell him, it’ll all be over. Skyler and I can be together without any lies, without any games, without any thing, period, standing between us.
Suddenly, her words come back to me. In the midst of her apology, of her confession, of her fighting to keep me – she said she loved me.
I told Erin I loved her that summer we were together when I didn’t know any better. Since then, I haven’t said it to anyone but my parents. I pull back, still holding Skyler in my arms but tilting her chin up to face me.
“I love you, too,” I say softly and her lip quivers, more tears falling. She smiles, shaking her head as I wipe them away with the pad of my thumb. “I don’t deserve you, I’ll never be good enough for you, but I love you nonetheless.”
I lean down and softly press my lips to hers, tasting the salty-sweetness of her lips mixed with her tears. Skyler crying is one of the most painful things I’ve seen, especially knowing it was because of me. I say a silent promise to myself to never be the cause of her tears again. From now on, I’m only here to wipe them away.
I move both hands to the side of her face and kiss her with everything I have, letting all the anger and pain melt away in the heat between us. She pulls me closer, fisting her hands in my shirt and deepening our kiss and my body reacts to her instantly. Groaning, I grip her waist tighter, turning to press her back against the railing as I kiss from her lips along her jaw and down to her neck.
“Take me back to your room,” she says quietly, breathless. The moon is so bright tonight we might as well be standing under a spotlight. The way the soft blue light catches Skyler’s eyes makes me want to find a pen and write about it. This is a scene that should be remembered, that should be cherished, a moment everyone should see. I thought she looked amazing in the morning light, but in the darkness and the cool glow, she’s something… more. Beautiful.
So devastatingly beautiful.
I wrap my arm around her and pull her close to my side as we walk toward the elevator. She laces her fingers with mine around her hip, leaning into me, and I swear the electricity between our bodies is intensified at just the thought of being closer.
When we reach my room, Kade is inside. He smiles when he sees us, but his eyes are questioning, curious. He wants to know what happened between us, but neither of us feels like talking right now.
“Get out,” I say firmly.
Kade nods, a shit-eating grin on his face as he grabs his flask from the dresser on his way out. As he slides by us and stands at the door, he gives us both a wink that makes me roll my eyes and Skyler turn a soft shade of pink. I’m kind of jealous that blush didn’t come from me.
When we’re alone, that same electricity buzzes to life. The air feels tight, hot, charged. I walk to the small dresser and grab my phone plugged into the charger. “Do you like Ed Sheeran at all?”
Skyler shrugs, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I don’t know, I’ve never really listened to him, honestly.”
I press play and Tenerife Sea starts to pour softly from my phone’s speaker. Turning, I pull Skyler to her feet and place my hands on either side of her face again before slowly pressing my lips to hers. I kiss her soft at first, the tear stains on her cheek reminding me of the pain we both felt just minutes ago, but then she starts to move with me, her mouth opening to let my tongue inside.
Her hands are in my hair and every touch clouds my head more, every kiss blinds me from the rest of the world. I grab the hem of her hoodie and gently pull it over her head. When I realize all that’s left is her bra underneath, I smile against her lips.
“Were you planning on taking this off at all tonight?”
“I was hoping you’d be the one to do it,” she breathes, biting her bottom lip a little.
I take my time slowly unbuttoning her jeans, my mouth still fixed on hers, before tugging them down around her ass, her thighs, and finally letting them fall the rest of the way to the floor. She backs up a little, her eyes locked on mine, and hooks her thumbs in the strap of her thong before slowly sliding it down her thighs. When it joins her jeans on the floor, she steps out of them and stands completely bare in front of me, her breasts pebbled in anticipation.
She crosses the short space between us and pulls my shirt up just enough to rub her hands along my abdomen, her fingertips just tracing the hem of my boxers. My eyes roll back at the touch and I quickly remove my shirt as she unties my board shorts. I pull them along with my boxers down to my feet and kick them to the side. And then we’re both standing there, completely exposed, our breaths heavy in our chests. Something in the room feels different this time. Neither of us is in a rush. We’re desperate to touch each other, but each restraining against the urge to go faster. I let my eyes wash over her body, from her electric blue eyes all the way down to her slim ankles that I can’t wait to have wrapped around me. She does the same, her fingertips trailing a line along my jaw before dropping down my chest, my abs, and resting just above where I want her hands to be.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” I whisper, and I’m not sure why I don’t say it louder. It’s almost as if I’m afraid if I say it too loud, someone else will wise up and notice, too, and I might lose her.
She smiles, falling back to sit on the edge of the bed again. She crawls up to the pillows, her eyes on me as she moves. She’s sprawled out on the bed, her flawless body even more tan against the white sheets as she slowly lets her legs fall open before beckoning me with her index finger.
Starting at her ankle, I kiss my way up, touching every inch of her skin with my lips as I crawl on top of her. When I reach her mouth, I pull her bottom lip between my teeth and rub my hard on against her clit, making us both groan at the touch. I keep working, slowly rubbing against her until the friction is too much for both of us. Skyler reaches down between us, gripping me in her hand and placing me at her entrance. Just the feeling of my tip at her opening makes us both stop breathing, our bodies frozen until I close the space and slowly enter her, letting every inch of me feel her warmth.
And then the rest of the world is gone.
Skyler moans when I push all the way in, her head falling back against the pillows. I stay low and pressed against her as I move in and out, planting kisses on her neck, her breasts, her collar bone, her lips. She grips my arms tight, her fingertips holding on fiercely as she looks up at me from the sheets. Her dark hair is splayed all around her, her eyes wide, her lips plump, her cheeks flushed. She’s so fucking beautiful it’s almost too much to keep looking at her.
I reach down and pull her left leg up, hitching it over my shoulder as I slide in even deeper. Skyler moans louder at that and I close my eyes to refrain from coming right then. I’ve never been a fan of missionary, but with her leg draped over my shoulder and those fucking eyes staring up at me, it’s all I can do to wait for her to come first.
I pull her nipple between my teeth and bite, gentle enough to not hurt her but with enough force to make her moan. Her breathing is faster now, her heart beating hard beneath me. I know she’s close.
Quickly, I flip over, pulling Skyler on top of me. I want a better view of her when she comes. I need to see her blue eyes when she falls apart. But she smiles mischievously before turning to straddle me backwards, her hair falling down over her shoulders as she throws her head back and starts riding my cock slowly. I groan, taking her ass in my hands and helping her ride. This view is enough to fucking kill me, watching my dick disappear inside her over and over again. I reach up and grip her hair in my fist, tugging her head back slig
htly.
And then, she starts to gyrate.
On. My. Dick.
Her ass moves in my hands, bouncing up and down and rippling each time it slaps against my lower abs. I can’t handle it anymore. “Fuck, Skyler,” I growl, bucking up to meet her moves. I moan her name as I come inside her, every ounce of pain and pleasure releasing all at once as a shocking electricity rips through me. I can’t hear anything, I can’t feel anything except her around me. Leaning up a little, I reach around and press my fingertips to her clit, circling wildly to send her over the edge with me. She comes willingly and I feel her tighten around me as she screams, the pleasure rocking us both, owning us completely.
Breaths. Moans. Electricity.
And then just us.
As we come down, Skyler slows her movements until she’s completely still with me still inside her. I wrap my arms around her and pull her down into the sheets with me, kissing the back of her neck softly. She trails her fingertips up and down my thighs, her ass still pressed against me. And we don’t speak, we don’t move, we just lay like that, touching and kissing and existing together.
I have no idea what comes next for us. I don’t know what I’m going to say to my dad when we get back, what her friends are going to say to her tomorrow, or if we’re even going to be together one year from now. But I don’t care. About any of it. The only thing I care about is this girl in my arms right now. She’s swallowed me down like a ten foot wave, pulling me under the current with her. She controls me, I’m hers.
I’m in deep. I’m drowning.
But I’m not asking to be saved.
“Ugh,” Kade groans, pulling his sunglasses down over his eyes as we walk off the ramp of the boat. “I think my hangover has a hangover.”
I chuckle, adjusting my carry-on bag on my shoulder. The sun is shining brightly today and it’s at least eighty degrees, which makes us all feel like Spring Break should last longer. Technically we don’t go back to classes until Monday, but our cruise is over, and everyone’s feeling the ramifications of the trip.
All the guys grumble as we shuffle toward Customs. “Those Fat Tuesday drinks are no joke.” I laugh, nudging Kade.
He groans and shakes his head. “I’m never drinking a frozen anything ever again.”
I smile thinking back to our last day of the cruise in Key West yesterday. It was the perfect day, all of my brothers together and Skyler by my side. Erin steered clear of us and we bar hopped down Duval street all day before spending the rest of the evening partying on the boat. Everyone went a little too hard, but it was fucking worth it. I’m definitely not ready to be back to reality.
There’s a term in poker for when a player is winning a lot of big hands in a row. They say he’s on a rush. And that’s exactly how I feel right now. Amazing trip, amazing friends, amazing girl. There’s not much more I could ask for.
Well, except for maybe a miracle.
Turning on my phone, my stomach lurches at the thought of the phone call I still have to make. Part of me wishes I could have gotten it over with before the cruise, but at least I was able to have a good time and not be thinking too much about my dad. Now, he’s all I can think about.
When my phone finally powers on, I have a few missed text messages from friends back home in Kansas and a shit ton of social media notifications, but nothing from my parents. The sinking feeling in my stomach intensifies. It’s not like my dad to go this long without talking to me, especially in the middle of his game.
“Morning, sexy,” I hear a smooth voice whisper in my ear. I smile as Skyler wraps her arm around my waist and pulls mine over her shoulder. She’s even tanner after our day in the sun yesterday, her light coral top falling off one shoulder and blazing against her skin. Best of all, her eyes no longer hold the pain of her secret. She’s genuinely happy.
She’s free.
And I’m all too eager to join her.
“Hi, beautiful. Feeling okay today?”
She groans, mimicking Kade and the rest of the guys. “I’ve had better mornings, that’s for sure. Nothing a spa day with the girls won’t cure, though.”
I lift a brow. “Oh yeah? Post-cruise massages?”
“And mani-pedis,” she clarifies, throwing me a wink. “Can I see you tonight?”
“Like you even have to ask.”
She smiles and pecks me on the lips quickly before turning to join her sisters that have gathered by the curb waiting for their bus. I reach out and snag her wrist and tug her back, pulling her into my arms and pressing my lips against hers once more. I kiss her slowly, nipping at her bottom lip and gripping her ass firmly in my hands before finally letting her pull back.
“See you tonight.”
Skyler blushes, her blue eyes sparkling as she backs away and finally turns, jogging off toward the group. I watch her go and for a minute, I’m not thinking about anything but her. Her hair is up in a messy bun, her makeup looks like it’s from last night, and she’s in jean shorts and that coral shirt than hangs off her shoulder. She looks casual. Comfortable. She looks like herself. And I can’t help but feel like I’m part of the reason she feels comfortable enough to be that way.
But Dad creeps his way back into my thoughts and I swallow, watching Skyler laughing with her sisters. I know once I tell him, it’ll all be over and we can move on without anything between us. But something in my gut doesn’t feel right. Something tells me we’re far from that moment. I just can’t figure out why.
The bus ride is short, the port only being about twenty five minutes from campus. We all pile out at the house and most of the guys lazily maneuver their way inside while the rest head toward their cars or set off walking to their on-campus housing. I give Kade a hard clap on the back and he gives me a half-conscious wave before I start off toward my apartment.
I take the long way, stopping at the fountain in the middle of campus. My mind temporarily flashes back to watching Skyler run her fingers over the top of the water. I sit on the same bench where she sat that day and drop my bags to the ground, pulling my phone from my pocket. My dad smiles up at me as I hover over his contact, my thumb just centimeters away from hitting the call button. The picture is from my high school graduation. Dad has his arm around my shoulder and he looks so damn proud of me, even though I’m not entirely sure he felt that way at all. I know what would make him proud of me, and I’m about to tell him I won’t do it.
I take a deep breath and swallow down the lump in my throat before letting my thumb drop the rest of the way, hitting the call button.
Every ring makes my stomach sink lower, my throat tighten more. I feel like I’m about to take the biggest test of my life while jumping off a seventy-story building. The phone rings six times and I’m pretty sure I’m about to get voicemail when I hear a soft click, but nothing else.
“Hello?” I ask, the silence doing nothing to soothe the knots settling deep in my gut.
“Kip, honey,” I hear my mom’s voice say. I try to swallow but fail miserably. “How was your cruise?”
My mom and I hardly ever talk on the phone, and she definitely never answers my dad’s phone. Something is wrong. Her voice is low and scratchy, and when I hear her sniffle on the other end, I know she’s been crying.
My mind races with possibilities as I lift myself from the bench. Something tells me I should be sitting down for what I’m about to hear but my legs are anxious, my body wants to stand, to move.
“Mom?” I ask cautiously, almost as if approaching a wild animal. “What’s going on?”
Silence again.
Crying.
A long sigh.
“It’s your dad. He…” she chokes on a sob. “Oh God, Kip.” An ache rolls through me as she gives in to another cry, causing my knees to buckle and take me back down to the bench. The sun shines high in the sky, mocking the way I feel and burning down on the skin of my neck. I grip the phone tighter, waiting for her to say something else. Anything else. After a moment, she lets out another shaky brea
th, calming herself enough to speak just two words.
“He’s sick.”
“I love lazy Sunday nights with you girls,” Ashlei says, snuggling deeper into Jess’s bed. Cassie is in mine and all four of us have been watching Pretty Little Liars all day, getting out of bed only for bathroom breaks and junk food runs. We all know that once school starts back up tomorrow, the rest of the semester is going to fly by and before we know it we’ll be moving our stuff out of the house for summer. Next fall, I’ll be a senior and Cassie a junior. It’ll also be the last semester for Jess, Ashlei, and my Big.
Not that I care much about my Big right now.
They all stayed an extra semester so that they could hold their positions. Our chapter votes on new roles at the end of fall semesters, so that means their terms are one calendar year, not school year. If I get elected next fall, I’ll have to do the same.
But now, I’m not so sure I care to take the throne.
“I do, too. I’d like them even more if Cassie and Sky would give us some details about their sexcapades.” Jess throws us a glare and we both laugh. “My lady blue balls need some lovin’.”
“Go get a sex life of your own, J-Love,” Little quips.
Jess sighs. “If only it were that easy. I’m giving up sex for the rest of the semester. Boys, too. I’m over their shit.”
We all exchange glances and Ashlei rolls her eyes and mouths, “Yeah right.” We all know Jess is a little too boy crazy to abstain for that long.
“How are things with you and Adam, Little?” I ask, my voice lower than the TV.
She shrugs, blushing a little as a huge smile spreads on her face. “I don’t know, we’re good I guess. It’s nice knowing that he feels the same about me. And, no offense, but with you out of the picture, things are working out a lot better.”
I laugh, nudging her. “None taken. I’m sorry I got in the way in the first place. That whole game was… stupid, to say the least. I should have never agreed to it and I definitely shouldn’t have pulled other people down with me.”
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