by Bianca Vix
Kal practically slams his glass down on the table top. “How? What could that possibly matter? Your personal life has nothing to do with your career and where it’s going. And you’re going all the way to the top, Jana. I know you are.”
“Kal. I want to. Becoming a partner in the firm has been my dream ever since I became a lawyer. And I might have a real chance, since there’s strong talk about two of the current partners retiring soon.”
“That’s pretty amazing.” I’m impressed. “That’d make you the youngest partner there, by miles. If not the youngest partner in history.”
She beams at me. “It would. And that’s why it’s critical that I do everything I can to make it happen. You get it, don’t you Ryker?”
I nod just as Kal shakes his head sharply. Jana shoots him a look like she knows this could easily turn into an argument. Before I can speak up to defend her, Kal’s going off.
“There’s nothing wrong with being involved with two guys instead of just one. Nothing illegal. Nothing immoral. You’re not breaking any laws. Hell, you’re not even cheating, and that’s more than most of your colleagues could say.”
“That’s all true.” I cut in. “But you know perfectly well that image matters. Way more than reality, these days. You can’t say it’s not unusual. A threesome, that is.”
Kal sits back in his chair, his mouth a firm, thin line. Maybe he really doesn’t get it. He could be too used to being in charge. I spent a lot more time than he did working for other people before I became my own boss. Kal only worked in one other place. Maybe not enough to really get office politics.
Jana’s not saying another word. The air between us has gone from sparking with sexual tension, to just tension. I can’t think of a thing to say to break it.
“I let you go once, Jana. I’m not about to do it again.” Kal leans forward, hands on the table. “What if we’re not open about it? We could easily keep it a secret, just for awhile. Until you make partner.”
“That could take awhile. Just because there’s a chance now, doesn’t mean I’ll be the one they choose.”
“You’ll get it.” He folds his arms across his chest. “So what do you think?”
Chapter 12
Ryker
I’ve always liked the way Kal gets an idea in his head, and goes with it like it’s an absolute certainty. Except for now. I don’t think he’s on the right track this time.
“What do I think about hiding our relationship?” Jana’s downhearted. “Can you do that, Kal?”
It’s a valid question. Kal can barely keep his hands off me in the office. I don’t care that much. But Jana’s situation is completely different.
“Of course.” He grins like it’s all settled. “No problem.”
I swallow the rest of my drink. “If he could, Jana, would you be on board with it?” It’s not the best idea in the world. But I don’t have another one.
“I don’t know. It doesn’t seem right somehow. But I suppose it could work. If you’re okay with hiding it too, Ryker?”
I shrug. “I can do it. Especially if it’s not forever.” Anything to keep this going, as long as we can, is fine by me.
She still looks doubtful.
“Jana,” I begin. “Do you want to be with both of us? Or would you rather be with just Kal? That would make things easier for you, that’s for sure.”
Kal’s hackles rise, but I ignore him and continue. “I want to know. Do you want us both?”
“Of course I do. That’s not even a question.” She seems upset that I’m even asking. But hearing her answer is like having a weight lifted off my chest.
“Great. Then it’s up to you to decide just how far you can go to make it happen. Kal and I will do anything to be with you. What about you?”
And for once, Kal manages to stay quiet and wait. Even he seems to sense how important this is for Jana to decide for herself. Because that’s one big way that she’s similar to me. Once she’s committed to something, she goes all in.
And that’s the only way that being together, and keeping it a secret, is going to work.
Jana’s considering carefully. As much as I want her to just say yes without thinking, I’m happy that she’s taking it seriously.
I don’t think it takes her long, but time’s gone all out of whack as I wait. Kal’s about to have a fit from the strain of trying to keep quiet for more than a minute. The way he’s starting to squirm around is really funny but I can’t laugh because of the growing tension inside me.
Jana takes a drink of wine and sets her glass down on the table firmly, as if she’s made a decision. “Yes. I want to be with you both. If keeping us a secret is really okay with you, I can do it too.”
“Great.” Relief washes over me as I lift my glass. “To us.”
“Good choice, Jana.” Kal smirks like it’s not a big deal, but he’s just as relieved as I am. “Now let’s get some food.”
We’re just finishing up our dinner when a couple of men walking past our table stop abruptly.
“Jana. I didn’t know you’d be here.” The man seems friendly enough, but Jana’s almost gone pale. He glances between Kal and I, a slight frown crossing his brow. “I thought you said you had a hot date tonight.”
“Gerard, John. This is Ryker and Kal. They’re friends of mine.”
We shake hands briefly.
“So, out with friends. Did you get stood up? The guy must be a jerk to do that to you, Jana.”
Her jaw tightens almost imperceptibly. “Guess so. But I’m all good for tonight. See you tomorrow, guys.”
“As always.”
Then he actually leans down to kiss her on the cheek. She tenses, obviously not wanting him to touch her, but she’s trapped in her seat and she can’t duck away.
Possessive anger rises up in me like a tidal wave. My fists clench as I force myself to stay calm. Kal’s barely holding back from springing out of his chair and going at the guy. If either one of us says or does anything, both of these guys will know that we’re more than Jana’s friends.
But the tension’s so strong, this guy can’t help but notice. I keep my expression neutral as he glances between me and Kal to try and figure out what’s going on here.
“Goodbye, guys.” Jana’s tone is firm. At least he finally takes the hint and the two of them leave.
“Who the fuck does that guy think he is?” Kal’s practically got smoke coming from his ears. “Kissing you like that.”
“Gerard’s in the running to make partner too. When he’s not competing with me, he’s hitting on me. Well, his idea of hitting on me. It’s been going on for awhile. I thought that telling him I had a date tonight might make him back off. But probably nothing will.”
“What an ass. You’re a lawyer. Surely you can put a stop to it. Isn’t that workplace harassment or something?” I’d like to make him stop in a less legal way myself.
“Gerard is an ass. Unfortunately he’s a lawyer too, so he knows how to go right up to the line without crossing it.” Jana looks miserable as she continues. “I think he could tell there was something between us.”
“No way.” Kal barks out a laugh. “How could he possibly think that? No-one would ever assume that three people together are…you know. Together. It’s way too uncommon.”
“Gerard’s dumb in many ways, but he is a sharp lawyer. He’s very good at getting to the truth. And with the way you guys reacted to him, he knows something’s up. He might not know what, but I don’t think he’ll let it go until he finds out. It’s how he is. Makes him a good lawyer, if not a great person.”
I squeeze Jana’s hand. “It doesn’t matter. He won’t see us together again.”
“So we have to hide as well as lie? I just don’t know if I can keep that up. And Gerard’s pretty relentless when he wants to be. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. Us being together.”
What? “A few minutes ago, you thought it was. He’s just a jerk, Jana. Who cares what he thinks?”
&nbs
p; Jana gives a resigned sigh. “It’s not about what he thinks. It’s about what he’ll do. He’ll start probing into my life. Focus on me more than he already does. It’ll come out about us, one way or the other. I don’t think I can do it. I’m sorry.”
Kal and I exchange glances. He’s as stunned as I am. And neither one of us can come up with a solution.
Chapter 13
Kal
I can’t stop pacing around. Normally once Ryker arrives, our clothes are on the floor in seconds. Now he’s sitting on my sofa, staring off into the distance.
“What are we going to do?”
Jana’s gone. She hasn’t returned any of my calls, or Ryker’s. She rushed out of the restaurant right after her jerk-off colleagues left.
And we haven’t seen her since.
Ryker turns his dark brown eyes to me. “Maybe she needs some time.”
“She’s had time.” More than enough time. Every single day I wait for her to get back in touch. And that’s not me. I don’t wait. I take action.
I can’t stand this.
I’m never at a loss about what to do in a tough situation. Ryker and I have each other, at least.
Although that’s not going so well either.
Like he’s unaware that my head’s going to blow off, Ryker goes back to drinking the whiskey I gave him when he got here. He’s never been a moody fucker. Not until now.
Losing Jana is killing us both.
I still can’t believe she could walk away from us the way she did. I really thought she could handle this.
As if he’s reading my mind, Ryker speaks up. “You can’t blame her.”
My eyebrow lifts. “Why the hell not? She’s the one who walked away.”
“Yeah, but she has her reasons. And they’re real. She’s not set up for life like we are. You and I could stop working tomorrow if we wanted to, and never work again. Jana has to climb the ladder to get to where she needs to be in her career. You know that just as well as I do.”
I know it. I respect it. Doesn’t stop me from hating it to death. “Then maybe she should find another career.”
Ryker snorts. “After all the time and money she’s put in for her training? That’s not so easy to give up.”
“People leave the legal profession all the time.”
“Right. Except Jana is a lawyer. It’s who she is. It’s the exact right thing for her to be doing. Can’t you see that?”
My grip around my beer glass tightens. Of course I can see it. “Then what the fuck do you suggest we do?”
“I don’t know.”
That stops me short. In the back of my mind, I’m expecting Ryker to come up with the perfect solution. Given enough time, that’s what he always does. He’s never at a loss, always knows what to do. Him not knowing how to fix this is as shocking as the way Jana did that 180 and left us.
“How can you not know?”
It’s a dumb question, but I’m grasping at straws now. I want this to end. The nights I lie wide awake staring at the ceiling for so long, I’ve memorized every damn inch of it. Of everything being not only fucked with Jana, but between Ryker and I too. If Jana’s not going to be with us, I’m still in love with him. I can’t lose him too. But I don’t know what to do about that either.
It really is like we’re both destroyed. Nothing left, nothing that’s real anyway. I love my work. So does Ryker, it’s a big part of why we got so successful so fast. Since Jana left, we’ve both been like robots. Going through the motions just to do what we need to so everything stays on track.
“I just don’t. She’d be here if she wanted to be.”
I don’t want to believe that he’s right. “There has to be something we haven’t thought of. I want to do something.” Usually my stubborn persistence gets under Ryker’s skin by this stage. Tonight, he’s not fighting me, not pushing back until we work through whatever the problem is.
“So call her. Again.”
I can’t. I can’t call her again. She left me once already, and now I have to wonder if she’s truly just not that into this. Into me, or Ryker, or being three. Whatever it is. That it was something she just wanted to try. I can’t force her to have the kind of passion I have for her and him. It’s there or it isn’t. Right now, I wish like hell it was gone from me too. If this is love, it’s fucked. It hardly seems worth it.
I collapse down beside Ryker, and we sit in silence for I don’t know how long. There’s nothing to say.
It’s dark by the time Ryker and I climb into bed together, and all we can do is lie side-by-side until we fall asleep.
This is the worst thing ever.
Chapter 14
Kal
“Let’s get going.” Ryker’s all ready for work. Sexy and handsome in his dark suit, he’s perfectly put-together. As usual.
“Fine.”
Things are getting back to normal now. At least, between Ryker and I. Our new normal of being together, just the two of us. After what happened with Jana, we’ve been keeping it low key. Discreet enough at work to be professional. People still figure it out on their own, since we’re not making a real effort to keep our relationship hidden. But they sure as hell aren’t going to hassle us about it in any way.
I straighten my tie and we head out. Things are looking up. Now that Ryker and I are spending most nights together, I’m finally getting some sleep again. Plus we’re now in a position to buy out one of our main competitors. Everything’s moving forward on that deal today.
Yeah, it’s getting better. Even without Jana. I never let myself think about her anymore. It’s just too painful when I do.
Reaching the office in good time, the elevator doors slide closed behind Ryker and I. “How long is today’s meeting going to take?” We’re alone, so I give Ryker’s ass a good squeeze.
“All day. If we’re lucky, it won’t go into the night.”
“Great.”
“It is. Once we get through it, it’ll be the last big one for awhile. After we sign today, there’ll just be the details to hammer out. So no need for any more in-person stuff.”
I hate meetings, so that’s good news. I work my hand around to Ryker’s crotch, feeling for his cock. He lets me grope him for a couple seconds, knocking my hand away right before the doors open to our floor. Walking out behind me, he gives my ass a hard pinch.
We make it to the main boardroom before almost everyone else. There are only a couple of people already there waiting. My assistant, and Ryker’s. And someone who looks familiar. The blinds are wide open and the sun is extremely bright this morning. I squint against the light shining behind her, trying to make out the familiar figure. I take a sudden step backwards, bumping into Ryker when I see who it is.
Jana. It’s Jana, right here in our boardroom.
What the fuck?
All I can do is stare as she crosses the floor, heading towards us.
“Hello, Kal. Ryker.” Jana’s standing right in front of me. And of all things, she shakes my hand. Then Ryker’s.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I glare at Ryker. Did he know about this? But he’s as blindsided as I am. I force my expression to go neutral. It’s not easy. I can’t speak. All I can do is stare for a second until I catch myself and rearrange my expression to look impassive. It’s definitely not easy. Even aside from the rush of emotion that catches me up in a hurricane, Jana looks damn good. How she can always manage to look hot when she’s also dressed super-professional is beyond me.
I can’t imagine what she’s possibly doing here. Although I suppose we’re still using her law firm, so it’s not totally out there. But still. She removed herself from our company business a long time ago. There’s no shortage of lawyers to take her place in dealing with us.
There’s no more time to think about it. The room has filled up with everyone who needs to be here. And this meeting has to get started, or we won’t get out of here any time soon.
Even as we all get down to business, the tension in the r
oom shoots right up. Jana’s avoiding looking directly at Ryker and I, but I’m staring at her way more than I should be. Everyone here is a professional. Nothing is going to be noted or commented on. Still, it’s not easy to focus on the issues at hand. Even Ryker’s thrown. Tension’s radiating off him in waves that ripple throughout the room.
Guess we aren’t as over her as we thought.
However. It’s just one meeting. One fucking long, aggravating meeting, and then she’ll be out of our lives once again. For good. I can’t imagine she wants to be here either.
Many hours later, Ryker leans back in his chair. “Okay.” He folds his hands across his chest. “That’s it. We’re done here.”
The boardroom’s a mess. Used coffee cups and plates dusted with crumbs are scattered all over the table in between piles and piles of papers. Right away everyone starts gathering up their belongings, shrugging on coats and disappearing after a flurry of handshakes all around. Like they want to get out fast before something else comes up.
I stifle a yawn as Ryker stretches his neck.
“Glad that’s over with.” He drapes his arm around my shoulders and I check the time.
“Christ. It’s only seven thirty? Feels like it’s midnight.”
“Good thing it’s still early. That means we’ve got lots of time to celebrate a done deal.” His arm drops down to my waist and I turn to face him. We’re about to kiss when a voice interrupts us.
“Excuse me.”
Fuck. What now?
I turn my head to find Jana, framed by the doorway as she catches sight of us. Immediately she averts her eyes, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink. I can’t help but laugh. She’s embarrassed by this?
“Forgot my sweater.” Keeping her eyes away from both Ryker and I, she hurries back to the chair she’s spent most of the day sitting in.