Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Elsie’s small hand reach for me, but she hesitated. At least she stopped crying. I continued my story. Martha picked me up at the police station but didn’t scold me. The trait continued as months crept by. Soon the police stations became farther away, but Martha always picked me up. My voice cracked when I told her that the last time I ran away she got me, brought me home, and made me my favorite meal – spaghetti and meatballs. She never yelled at me. Instead of thanking her for everything, I trashed my room and prepared to leave that night. That was until I walked past her and John’s bedroom.
A tear slipped down my cheek. I quickly rubbed it away.
“John was comforting Martha,” I said, shutting my eyes because the guilt was still very much alive in my heart. “Martha was hysterical because she knew I would leave again. She knew I hated them. She knew how I felt about living here, how I plotted against them. It made my heart ache, because I never let myself hear how much she’d already loved me.”
We sat in silence, listening to the sounds of the leaves rattle in the wind, while I gained control over myself again. I didn’t need to say anything more. I wasn’t here to promise Elsie a happy life. I just wanted her to know, I knew how it felt never to belong.
I don’t know how long we sat on the front step as the day drifted by. Soon my guilty memories gave way to the visions I’d foreseen. Images of the old man holding a bloody knife stole my concentration. The one of the beautiful young man ending my life unraveled, the old man growing young, and finally the latest one where I made a pact with a fallen angel.
Rubbing my eyes, I told Elsie that I was going to scavenge the freezer for some premade cookie dough. If she was interested in a snack, she could join me in the living room. Max greeted me like always when I opened the front door. Elsie stayed on the front steps. I refused to force her into our house.
Waiting for the oven to preheat, I listened to the voice message HomFree left. They detected no disturbances in our backyard last night, but they’d be sending someone out to make sure our security system was operating correctly. Propping my elbows against the counter tops, I massaged my forehead and tried to figure out the mess my life had recently twisted into when I heard a hushed clamor coming from the living room. The breeze seeping through a cracked window rattled the mini blinds. A white silhouette was running from the open window.
CHAPTER FIVE
Sand shifted under my back, as the world threatened to spin out of control. I rolled onto my side, dry heaving. The fleeting sunset warmed my clammy skin. I felt like I was being torn apart and put back together but incorrectly. I took a deep breath in. The warm air burned my lungs. I screamed out in agony.
Only when I hoped someone would save me, did I realize he was already there, comforting me. Jace held me as if he was afraid to let go. His body was like a hardened boulder; it emphasized a notation that he could protect me against anything; he could be my rock – solid ground. Gradually, I became whole again. My screams turned into sobs. His charismatic voice soothed me; it touched my soul in ways that shouldn’t have been possible. His hazy outline was the definition of picturesque – in a blurred, vague way.
“You found me in my dreams again,” I said, reaching up to stroke his hair.
The shape of his hair became more defined as I ran my fingers through it. It flowed freely over his ears. The cut was styled, but no product clung to the locks. He leaned his face into my hand. I opened my eyes, taking in the surroundings. Jace’s white silhouette was framed by dark, ridges – cliffs. This time, I hadn’t gotten ill from his bright presence, even though his figure had brightened from the last time I dreamed of him. The sound of waves crashing into the shoreline, made me believe I’d been dreaming of the tropical island I’d heard on the television.
My fingers trailed along his cheek bone and the hard line of his jaw. He might have been clean-shaven earlier, but not now. I hesitated to slide my hand up under his eye. Bree mentioned him having a scar under his left eye. If my dreams were authentic, I’d feel a thin line interrupt his skin. He turned his head away before I could confirm.
“I want to know what you look like,” I said.
“Why does it matter what I look like?” he asked. His silhouette flashed a fraction brighter. It made his figure clearer in my mind. The hazy outline sharpened but not enough to make out many distinctions in his appearance.
“I’m just trying to get an idea of how to picture you my mind’s eye,” I confessed.
Gathering me in his arms, he lifted me from the sand. They bulged, but he hadn’t been fazed by lifting me. I held on by wrapping my arms around his neck. When they rubbed against his bare collar bone, I realized I still wore my pajamas; he was, once again, shirtless.
Dreams could be so rewarding.
“How do you picture this?” Jace asked and spun around before lowering me into the cool ocean’s shore.
In contrast to the luminous water, the sand was as dark as night. The sun set on the ocean’s horizon. I pretended to see the shimmering reds, yellows, and blues glowing over the waves. Polished gray and black rocks rubbed against my feet as each wave hit my knees. Jace moved to my side, taking in the view with me.
“My world is sketched in shades of gray,” I said, not bothering to hide my frustration and disappointment.
He said nothing, calculating my response. My skin tingled as his white silhouette flickered brighter, only to dim immediately. I reached for him. His hand was clenched tight. The longer I traced my fingers over his skin, the more relaxed he became. I waited for him to conquer whatever thought stole him away from me.
My lack of sight was a personal battle only I could fight. It wasn’t anything anyone could restore. I shouldn’t have known better – I shouldn’t have known what I missed, since I’d been blind since I was an infant. However, my visions teased me with the possibility of color and depth. Long ago, I’d fallen in love with facial expressions and subtle gestures. Nevertheless, I’d only see them in my mind, never in real-life.
“Shall we add a little color then?” he asked as he took my hand and led me deeper into the ocean.
The water darkened the further we walked out. Only when the cold waves splashed over my stomach, did we stop. He tightened his grip around my waist, keeping me steady against the force of the ocean’s waves. When I didn’t move away, his hands ventured further until they slid along the backside of my legs. Effortlessly, he pulled me up against him, holding me just above the surface. Waves slapped noisily against the shore, but I swore his heart beat louder. He leaned close, but before his lips caressed mine, he pulled away. It made my mouth water for a taste of his kiss.
Tease.
“The brown in your eyes reminds me of the sand along this shoreline. The brilliant blues in them mimic the ocean itself – sea blue with a touch of hazel. Gazing into your eyes is like stealing a glimpse of heaven,” Jace whispered as his lips brushed mine ever so slightly. “I find myself reminiscing of a time long lost when I look at you now, so full of youth and fight.”
In the cool water, my leg suddenly warmed. A tiny flame danced just below the surface, just like it had in my vision. Jace raised his hand. The dark flame flickered. I didn’t see the color; I didn’t have to. In my heart, I knew it was blue. Just like I didn’t have to know what Jace looked like, I knew he understood the way I felt about him. Unable to stand the distance between us, I closed the gap between us. He kissed me like he was drowning in my fervor. I felt his enthusiasm I craved the taste of it on my lips.
***
I woke in my bathtub the next morning. Why I filled the tub with water and slipped into it fully dressed, was beyond my wildest dreams…not my wildest dreams, but at least it made sense why I dreamed of Jace bringing me to the sea in my sleep.
As I peeled off my wet clothes, I knew what I had to do. Jace was invading my life on two fronts. I had to stay far, far away from him; otherwise, I’d be tempted to make my dreams a reality. However, ignoring him the foll
owing week was about as impossible as disregarding the urge to pee after downing a super-sized slurpee, but I had to try.
I soon found out that reality fizzled into a meaningless memory when the lights were off. I couldn’t keep him from visiting me in my dreams, but I could keep my distance during the day. Often there were times I wished reality and fantasy matched each other more consistently. At least I didn’t want to gouge my eyes out with a pen after every class we shared. Either he was getting bored torturing me, or my resistance simply improved – well, in real life anyway. When sleep washed over me, I’d taken a liking to indulging in the temptations he offered…
***
Immediately after the final bell sounded, I made it to the McKesson High parking lot. Knowing I was a loud beep on Jace’s radar, I’d only have a small window of time before he’d figured out that I had already left school, before he had a chance to talk to me.
The parking lot was a glorified death trap after dismissal. The sidewalks were overrun with impatient students who acted like I wanted to be blind for the sheer joy of slowing down their lives. My cell vibrated as I walked along the outer edge of the lot.
“I wanted to catch you before you bolted,” Bree said and then proceeded to snap her gum several times. “A couple of us are going out to a party after the game tonight, you in?”
“Sure, I have an errand to run and then a bag to punch first,” I said, happy for normal activity and a life where I could pretend I didn’t have visions that brought me to my knees, a life free of foster care and cold-case problems, and one where people weren’t watching me from the windows. The added bonus was that game time meant Ryker would be on the field, and I’d have a couple blissful hours alone with my best friend. “I’ll call back as soon as I’m done and let you know if Martha okays it.”
“Tell Mrs. T hi for me,” Bree said, and then started giggling like a star-struck grade schooler. “Someone wants to talk to you.”
His voice came over the phone. “Hello dearest,” Jace said, his voice was thick, longing for whatever it was that I refused to give him.
In the background, Ryker commented that he couldn’t believe Jace hadn’t given up after striking out every day since we’d met. I wanted to hang up, but unknown forces kept the phone glued to my ear. His deep breath came over the cell’s speaker, making me shiver. He waited long enough to speak that by the time he actually spoke, I longed for every word.
“Remember what I told you? The ones who fight the hardest are worth the chase,” Jace said, deliberately pronouncing each word slowly enough that I wanted to finish every word by licking them directly off his lips.
The phone went silent while I clutched to it, like it was a lifeline. How did the eight-second phone call go from me wanting to hang up on Jace, to him ending the call, leaving me white knuckled, wanting more? I stood, unable to move until the sound of a persistent car horn jarred me back into real life.
Taking the first side street I could away from the hectic traffic, I continued my way to the local library. My mind wandered, trying to figure out an effective way to deal with Jace. He clearly wasn’t getting the bigger picture that I wanted nothing to do with him. Yet, he was still gaining ground and finding ways to be with me.
The smell of aged paper and worn covers greeted me after I crossed the library’s threshold. The first time John took me to check out their blind peeps selection was ages ago. Yet, every time I pushed through the heavy wooden door, the laws of the metaphysical world shifted like I’d wandered into an unguarded room of heaven. Hector was a saver of old books and refused to throw any away – no matter how worn or beaten.
Hector instantly took to me, offering to read any book if he couldn’t find in an audio or Braille version. His passions soon became mine. It wasn’t long before I acted like his shadow, following him to KnockOuts. He changed my life, showing me how easy life could be if I simply let it. It wasn’t as hard to let go of all my hurt knowing he was there watching over me like a big brother – which was exactly why I needed him now.
Even though Hector spent most of his time dabbling in how-to books he was handy. He might be able to figure out how to install some kind of locking mechanism on the doors and windows without John knowing. The service charge for HomFree filtered into John’s email, leaving him anything but pleased. I knew I should have told John about the two people I’d seen or that I suspected someone had been inside the house, but I highly suspected Jace was behind it and he was a problem I was going to deal with myself.
Originally a bank, the two-story library only had few windows to let in natural light. However, I could maneuver around without problems from all the time I’d spent between the shelves. I folded Stella and slipped it into my backpack. I listened. Only my footsteps echoed through the old building. Architecture from the early 1900’s tended to creep me out, making me feel like I was being watched by ghosts or another supernatural force that was just as farfetched.
“Hector, quit playing around. I need your help.”
“Who’s Hector?”
I jumped; I hadn’t heard anyone moving in the building and hadn’t expected a stranger to be wandering around. My sight was acting up and now my hearing was no longer reliable. I should have been able to hear him walking around.
Turning toward the direction of the voice, I peered around the oldest shelf in the building. The mammoth dark shadow, who had a nervous twitch, flipped through a book. From the rate at which he was tossing the light gray pages across, he couldn’t have been reading. I (the beep) must have shown up on his friend’s radar, too. Perhaps Jace’s intentions of calling me must have been to slow me down enough for his surveillance buddy to find me or to activate some navigation device in my cell. Again I was probably just paranoid, but it was all the more essential for me to meet up with Hector. Maybe there was a book on disarming a phone bug, just in case Jace had bugged my cell.
“Who are you?” I said, walking a little closer to gauge the actual size of him when I smelled it. His fragrance smelled like a familiar spice that I could taste on the tip of my tongue.
“Your knight in shining armor?”
A headache began to set in, which I couldn’t mark up to Jace being around. Unless he was hiding somewhere in the building, but I would’ve seen his brilliant white silhouette, wouldn’t I? Perhaps it was just men in general that made my brain hurt. Gritting my teeth, I rubbed my temples.
“Jace said you’re pulling this amnesia act, but he wasn’t kidding about your tolerance. It’s a little better than non-existent. Even after a couple months of following you around like a lost pup, you still wouldn’t be able to handle more than one of us right now.”
Excuse me? A couple months? It’d only been a couple weeks since Bree drug me to the bowling alley.
“Especially not Analee, she’d never make it easy for you,” he grunted and slipped the book on the third shelf, closest to the end. He kept his finger on the book, tapping it lightly before tucking his arms across his chest. “Well, at least we know he wasn’t jerking us around saying that your tolerance wasn’t up to par. And here I was thinking he just wanted more time to bait you.”
“Bait me?”
“To become an Addict,” he said like it made perfect sense. “Not really his style, but time changes people, ya know?”
Dismissing the thought about Jace trying to make me an addict, I tried to place this man’s scent. I’d smelled it once, long ago. I was about to ask him when images of the future stole my attention.
The sun shined through a charred knot hole, no bigger than my slender finger. It was the only light in the enclosed, narrow box holding me captive. My hands were smooth and polished, not gnarled or wrinkled; I had years of life ahead of me so why was I buried alive in a coffin? Sweat formed beads on my brow. They dripped down my face. A pungent stench choked my lungs as the heat rose inside my coffin.
Death and decay grew stronger as a set of shuffling feet skimmed the top of the wood. A spicy aroma, his fragrance, int
ertwined with the rot, took over my senses. I heard two feminine screams. One echoed in my mind while the other cursed out loud. I peered out the tiny hole and caught a glimpse of my captor in her white dress – the girl who looked like a fallen angel. Her unforgettable golden-colored eyes flickered black, as she smiled down at me. Her beautiful voice beckoned, enticing me out of my personal cell if I’d only swear to bow down to her.
“You’ll regret this, Chronicler. This is positively unnecessary. You’ll give me my wish if I have to kill you for it to be granted, and you know I will.” she said and brushed back her silky blond hair.
“My death is insignificant compared to what you’re asking.” My voice as innocent as hers.
A massive man with deep red hair appeared behind her, when nothing but empty space was there a second before. He kissed her lightly-tanned cheek before paying any attention to me. His green eyes deepened in color until they were just as black as the woman’s eyes. While his eyes shifted colors, his rotting stench grew stronger. He smelled like death.
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