by Pippa Jay
He gave her a twisted smile. “But at least I know you’d make sure I die in ecstasy.” His words stung.
“I’d kill the Su that tried it.” Her own admission surprised her, and his head jerked up.
“Does no one ever commission an Inc-Su to assassinate themselves?”
“I’ve never heard of it. Why would anyone do that?”
Zander shrugged and put his glass aside. His movements seemed sluggish. How much alcohol had he drunk? He’d never struck her as the kind of guy to drown his sorrows in a chemical haze, and yet he swayed as he sank back.
“Zander, what’s wrong with you?”
“Wrong with me?” He lurched to his feet and she matched him. He was so close that the alcohol in his breath made her light-headed. “Look at me!” He held her face, the grip painful. His aura flared red in anger, but beneath it she felt his shame swallow up the light. “Look at my face! I’m a shadow of what I was. Scarred and crippled. That’s what the assassination did to me. It took half my face—and half my soul with it.”
He was trembling. For all his bravado, she knew what he really wanted. What he needed.
She grasped his wrists, pulled them free, and then stepped in close to his shaking body and placed his hands on the small of her back. Before he could protest or pull away, she seized his face and drew him down, kissing her way over the scars that tracked up the right side of his neck and cheek. He went rigid then suddenly melted under her kisses, his body relaxing into hers as she linked her aura to his. He wanted this as badly as she did.
As they shared body heat, his mouth met hers, hungry and demanding. She responded with equal force, slipping her fingers into the hollow above her collarbone and touching the control for her shielding. As it deactivated, the full force of his desire swept over her, and she moaned into his mouth, her knees trembling at the strength of it. His grip around her waist tightened, pulling her harder into him, so she could feel the firm muscles beneath his clothing. It wasn’t enough. The need to feel his skin made her ache. She tugged at the seal of his robe, almost ripping the fabric in her haste.
D’joren released her as if stung and dropped his hands. The same scars that wrapped the right side of his face scored all the way down that side of his body too, farther than she’d realized. They wove an irregular pattern of raised, knotted skin down his chest, curling round his ribs and almost completely encircling his waist in streaks like flames. Synthaskin gleamed at the shoulder where too much of his own had been ripped away by the explosion that had killed Mirsee.
“Now you can see for yourself.” His voice sounded broken, a reflection of his spirit. They had done more than kill his wife and damage his body. His soul was shattered too.
Tyree stepped closer to him. “Yes, I can.” Without hesitation, she leaned in and kissed her way from the thickened ridge at his shoulder, down his chest until she knelt at his stomach. Zander groaned and knotted his fingers tight in her hair. “Stop...”
She kissed her way up his torso, running her hands up the smooth curve of his back and across his broad shoulders. “You don’t mean that.”
“No...I mean yes. Tyree...”
She silenced him with her mouth, curling one hand around the nape of his neck. With her other, she reached for the seal on his pants and slid inside his clothing. His breathing stuttered but she refused to let him break free. Inside, she smiled. Oh, she could feel how badly he wanted her, how hard he was trying to resist! Guilt, shame, abhorrence for his own body all washed through her. She drew it out of him and replaced it with the desire they both felt, the desperate need. She had only ever used her talent to kill before, to take life at the moment of ecstasy. This time she could use it to heal. Every thread of energy she took from him she replaced with some of her own, a mutual exchange that heightened their perceptions of each other.
It broke Zander’s resistance. As she opened the seal and pushed his pants down, he completed the job by shaking them from his ankles, and then fell back hard onto the sofa behind. Tyree lifted her shift, revealing her nakedness.
For a moment, he simply stared at her, his gaze traveling from her face down the length of her body. He opened his mouth, as if to protest once more, but she gave him no chance, sitting astride his lap and increasing her molecular density in one swift move. It pinned him to the sofa.
“Tyree, no...”
Men never said no to her. Come to think of it, neither had the two female targets she’d been sent after. She was playing as fair as she could by not using the pheromones at her command.
“Do you mean that, Zander? Do you really want me to go?”
He made a sound, part whimper, part moan. “No...”
She slid herself onto him, and he clutched her waist with a gasp. “Tyree...”
She gave a throaty chuckle. “Don’t worry, I won’t kill you. I’ll have you screaming my name.” She claimed his mouth, but soon he was moving down her neck, and a moment later he took one nipple into his mouth and teased circles around it with his tongue. Fire sparked deep into her core as the sensation sent her aura flaring. “Or perhaps I’ll be screaming yours...” she murmured.
This was new. This was true rapture. She moved against him and he matched her, thrusting up into her with increasing rhythm. Every sensation trebled as they merged into one another, body and spirit. Auric light, brighter than any she had sensed before, spiraled around them. His euphoria swamped her, and she struggled to keep the flow going, not to take it all. “Oh, Mothers!”
She grasped his shoulders, digging her nails in as climax came. With a shriek, she threw her head back. Heard him echo her cry as his own surged through her like white flame across her sight. For an instant, there was only the light as his soul merged with hers in blissful union.
Her head fell forward onto him as she gasped in air, hearing his own ragged breaths as his chest heaved under her. He cradled her; sweat-slicked skin pressed against hers. The aftermath of their mutual orgasm shivered through her, and she hugged him tightly, unwilling to move, to break their perfect unity. It had never been like that before.
“Ty?” he murmured at last, as their breathing and heartbeats eased into something less frantic. His fingers stroked out her hair, smoothing it down her back.
“Hmmm?”
“We shouldn’t have done that.”
She felt his regret shimmer across her senses, but it was a faint trace. “Too late for that now.”
“I should have stopped you.”
“You didn’t really want to.”
“No, but...” He sighed into her neck. “It’s an added complication.”
She giggled. “There’s nothing complicated about sex. It’s a physical need.”
“No, that’s not what I meant, I...” He sighed. “I had no right...I...I can’t allow...”
Right? Wasn’t I the one seducing him?
“If anyone had their rights violated, it was you, Zander. Not me.” She leaned back to look him in the eye. “Did I do wrong?”
He shook his head. “No...” But guilt still flowed from him, tainting the afterglow she felt.
“You feel guilty.”
“Yes.”
A seeping anger displaced her pleasure. Perhaps for all her talents she’d misread his needs. Confused them with her own. “You haven’t betrayed Mirsee by having sex with me. I don’t expect anything more from you. It was something we both needed.”
“Is that all it was?”
“Should it have been more? Your body wanted it.”
“Is need the only reason?” He sounded bitter. Regretful. What did he want her to say? That it was more? To admit it was him she craved, when she could have taken any suitable male in Neutrality? Because she’d had the choice, and she’d made it without hesitation. Did he expect her to love him as well?
“No,” she admitted. “If it was just need I could have used anyone. I wanted you.”
If anything, her words seemed to deepen his feelings of remorse and self-loathing. He wouldn�
��t look at her. Was it just because of Mirsee? Or was he ashamed of having sex with a Su? Of merely giving in to his body’s needs? A master of his emotions, was he so unwilling to be seen as human after all?
“This must never happen again,” he whispered. “Never.”
She lifted herself off him and gathered up her shift. Zander slumped forward, burying his face in his hands. Those fleeting moments of bliss with him died and soured in her belly. So much for sex without death. It had never left her feeling as sullied as this.
“I’m sorry,” she forced out. “I won’t trouble you again.”
“Tyree...” he began, but she Misted out and fled rather than hear another word from his mouth.
Chapter Eight
Zander called at her door early the next morning. The urge to flip into combat mode when she saw him was so strong she had to walk away from him, arms wrapped tightly around herself as she fought her instinct.
“May I come in?” The hesitant edge to his voice made it easier. Did he regret his words last night? Or the fact that he’d allowed her to seduce him?
“Yes.” The word came out with more snap than she’d intended, and she bit her lip. This had to be dealt with.
“Tyree, last night—”
“Was a mistake.” The words burst from her, fueled by anger, but she held back the tears she felt edging into her eyes. How had he done that to her? Su never cried, not even in extreme pain.
But this is a new kind of pain...
“Perhaps.”
She turned to face him. He had his eyes downcast; his hands were clenched at his sides. Normally so poised, so certain, the shadows in his face this morning told her how he was struggling to keep that diplomatic veneer.
“You wanted me as badly as I wanted you. You can’t lie about that. I felt it.”
“I...” He seemed shaken, perhaps embarrassed. Inwardly she sneered, although her heart twisted in sympathy and she hated herself for that. Some humans had such peculiar hang-ups about sex. She couldn’t understand it at all.
“I broke the Rules of Decorum. Neither side gave verbal permission.”
Tyree snorted. “You’re pissed because I didn’t ask your permission?”
“No!” He clasped his hands together, as if forcing himself back under control after his outburst. “No. I am concerned because I didn’t have your permission.”
She laughed. “Zander, I gave my permission the moment I kissed you.”
“That is not the correct procedure.”
“Procedure?” She stalked up to him. “Do you think Inc-Su obey your blasted Decorum? Do you think my targets do?”
“Is that how you see me? As a target? No permission necessary?”
“You know you aren’t my target.”
“Then what am I?” He stepped in closer. “Why did you come to me last night? Why did you—”
“Seduce you? Have sex with you?”
“Yes.”
Tyree took a breath. “I was checking our quarters. That is part of my assignment. Keeping you safe.”
And a piss poor job I’ve done so far.
“And sleeping with me?”
“No.” She grinned, though she didn’t find it funny right now. “That was a perk.”
Zander flushed red. “Is that how you see it?”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it. I won’t need to read your aura to know that’s a lie.”
“I can’t deny my feelings last night,” he admitted. “I question the wisdom of it. This mission is imperative, and my actions may have compromised it.”
“Your mission?” Tyree stared up into those brown eyes that sent quivers through her abdomen even in her rage. “Is that all that matters to you, Zander D’joren. Is a diplomat all you are now?”
“Yes.” The intensity in his voice shook her. “The day I woke—the day they told me Mirsee was dead—it became the only thing I had left.”
Some of the anger wound out of her.
Zander sighed. “When they told me, I...lost my sanity. It took several sessions with a psyche moderator, weeks strapped to my bed with a cocktail of suppressants before I was even coherent again, let alone safe to release. I wanted to...” He swallowed hard. His composure seemed shaken. “When that insanity passed and they judged me fit to release, the only thing remaining to me was the intention to complete the treaty no matter what. The thing I didn’t confess to my psyche moderator was the desire to seek out the assassin personally once that mission was complete. Those two needs are the only things that help to keep the nightmares at bay, that keep me sane when all else threatens to overwhelm me.”
Although he kept his words measured, his voice level, the torture he had suffered made her ache. He wasn’t asking for her sympathy or understanding, she realized. Just telling her the truth. “But it must not happen again.”
“Why? Worried you’ll sully yourself frigging a dirty Su?”
“We need to work together. I don’t believe it should be more than that.” He held his hands as if begging her. Or perhaps praying. An odd gesture. “I think if you intend to continue your patrol, I must ask you to stay out of my room.”
Tyree snorted. “So you don’t trust me—” She stopped herself shy of saying ‘either’ and possibly betraying Pevanne’s suspicions of her. “If it worries you so much, why don’t you Tether me?”
Zander reached into a pocket and threw something onto the bed. A Tether device. Tyree shivered.
“The Terran council sent it to me as soon as they knew about you,” he told her.
“Why haven’t you used it?”
“Because I trusted you. From the moment we met.”
“Foolish and sentimental.” She grasped at her anger in desperation. She couldn’t let him see how much the device bothered her. Couldn’t show her fear and uncertainty—such weakness. “Just because I’m Mirsee’s clone doesn’t mean I’m like her.”
“You’re not like her. Not a bit, aside from your face. But that’s not why I trust you.” Zander stopped, as if unwilling to let slip anything more. Even angry, he kept himself under greater control than any Inc-Su or human she had ever met. Only the red flush in his cheeks and the pinched look to his face betrayed him. “Tyree.”
He grasped her hand, and though she could have Misted out and fled again, she didn’t. Warmth flowed into her from his touch, and she felt her will dissolve as surely as if one of her Inc-Su siblings had shared her aura. But he wasn’t Inc-Su. He was human. And he wasn’t afraid of her, of what she was.
“I know you’re not Mirsee. Please don’t mistake my concern for you as some hope of having her back with me in some way. I...fear for your safety more than my own. But with the treaty to negotiate...” He folded his other hand around hers. “I cannot make any promises I might be forced to break. And right now, I couldn’t bear to lose someone else dear to me. That pain goes unhealed, just like my scars. Do you understand?”
She stared down at his hand holding hers. He cared about her?
“Tyree, please.”
“I understand.” She almost choked on the words, but they were true. Everything was stacked against them right now, and they had a job to do.
“Good. That’s...good.” He released her. “Then perhaps you’ll join me for breakfast shortly?”
She nodded, her throat too tight to speak. But as he turned and made for the door, a terrible thought wormed its way into her mind. “Zander?”
“Yes?”
“When both your missions are complete, what will you do?”
He held very still. His head turned toward her but she couldn’t see the expression on his face. So softly she could barely catch the words he murmured, “I don’t know.”
***
Tyree looked at the dress Visaya had brought for that evening. “You have to be frigging joking.”
Heavy copper velvet hung in huge folds from the shoulders to the cuffs, slits cut along the sleeves so that a ton of fabric had been used yet would hide very little of her sk
in. The skirt would sweep the floor, and she’d be lucky if she didn’t catch her legs in it and fall over. Elaborate brocade crisscrossed the bodice, a corset-style top that would hold her in so tightly she doubted she’d be able to breath. “I am not wearing that!”
Visaya looked like she would burst into tears. “But this is the dress the Lady Mirsee commissioned.”
Mothers and Fathers, how I hate you now, sister clone of mine.
“Can’t I wear the blue dress? The one I had for the inauguration?”
“I am afraid that was destroyed when they cleansed the sanctum after the attack with the cleric.”
Tyree glared at the dress. Flawed. The stupid woman had definitely been flawed, both mentally and physically. The dress was her worst nightmare. “I won’t be able to move in the damn thing!”
“Of course you will, my lady.” Visaya reached to remove Tyree’s night robe.
Tyree let her, but even as it left her naked, she made a decision. “I’m going to wear my Su tunic underneath.”
“But, my lady—”
“No.” She pulled out the silvery black mesh garment and tugged it over her head. “None of this stuff of Mirsee’s Mists out with me, and I’m not running around Centralis naked again.”
“Why would you need to?”
“Why would I...” Tyree spluttered to silence and gave up. Even now, Visaya didn’t get it. Assassin and bodyguard first. A ponced-up Skiv second. “Just do it. Please?”
Visaya obeyed.
***
Zander met her in the main foyer, accompanied by two Paladins just as she had been. He raised his eyebrows as she approached. Forced to regulate her pace to tiny steps to avoid tangling her legs in the extravagant robe, Tyree must have looked like she was creeping around with something to hide.
“It is rather spectacular,” he commented, gesturing to the dress.
“It’s a pain in the...” Tyree stopped herself. Decorum at all times now, she scolded herself. “It’s fitting for the occasion.”
The smile Zander gave her showed he knew exactly what she meant. “Are you ready?”
“No. But I guess we can’t be late.”