“What potential? An endless existence of loneliness?”
A soft chuckle sounded.
“You will not be alone forever. I can smell the scent of your destiny on you, even now.”
Clarissa closed her eyes for a few seconds. The months spent here at Cleaver Keep had isolated her from any other form of life, as she’d spent most of her time at the graveyard amongst the dead. It had helped her prepare for what she wanted to do. Was she strong enough to try and live again? Was it true? Could she find true love again? Could Jessica one day open herself to the prospect of love again and maybe come to love her?
She opened her eyes and saw the answer in the deep, dark depths. Maybe it was worth a try. Maybe all Jessica needed was a little nudge and an abundance of time. She felt her heart clench at the thought of the grey eyes one day looking at her again with bold desire and her hands touching her with infinite tenderness and…love. She would never admit this to anyone, but she had to confess that the first time her lips brushed against Jessica’s, a slight doubt had settled in her heart. Dying hadn’t seemed such an attractive option anymore. She wanted to have more nights like that, create more memories like those. But she was scared, terrified of hoping and being disappointed.
“What if it never happens?”
Jonas Bedreynoff shrugged his massive shoulders; his dark eyes were warm.
“I am rarely wrong, youngling.” He lifted his hand and Clarissa felt the invisible shackles fall away. “Now, come. This will be the first day of a great life for you. The others are awaiting your return.”
Clarissa blinked. The others? Even though she was thousands of kilometers from them, they’d been aware of her struggles. I have never really been alone. Jonas stepped closer still, his hulking body dwarfing hers.
“Are you ready?” He held out his hand and Clarissa stared at it for a while before placing her hand in his large one.
“Yes.” Without looking back, she walked with Jonas and disappeared into the shadows.
†
The empty wine bottle fell out of her hand and rolled over the carpet-covered floor, coming to a stop a few meters away. Jessica registered the sound of the bottle hitting the floor, but her grey eyes just stared straight ahead. Hours had passed since Rissa left and, still, she just sat there staring at the dying fire. The symbolism was startling. Their liaison had started with fire and heat only to end in dying embers. How could two nights of passion make her doubt in her decision to never allow another woman to get too close to her again?
After Gabriella had left her standing there in the green room at the Woman’s World studio; she’d sat in stunned silence long after Gabriella left with her new partner, tortured by flashbacks of the years they had spent together. She’d cursed herself, over and over again, for not practicing enough restraint where other women were concerned. The saddest part was that she hadn’t even enjoyed having affairs. Nevertheless, she had them, many of them. Screwing that model in their bed was the last straw. Gabriella hadn’t deserved to find out that way. Her sleazy alter ego and the life it led were never supposed to touch the wholesome, loving union she had with Gabriella.
Her heart still ached when she thought about her. She’d paid the highest price ever for her stupidity, but with it had come the realization that she had to stop and take stock of her life. She’d finally got her life back on track, but with one major drawback.
Fear.
She was afraid to open up again, but she was more terrified of reverting to the person she was eleven months ago. She inhaled deeply. She couldn’t remember ever having felt so free since her breakup, and somehow, she believed it had a lot to do with Rissa’s refreshing honesty and her childlike wonderment when they were making love. Jessica smiled at the memory. It was really endearing.
She rubbed over her eyes and came to her feet. It was almost daybreak and they had another hectic schedule planned for today. She needed to lie down for a while.
She had barely closed her eyes, when Howard banged on the door.
“Jess, you need to wake up. We have a situation.”
Blinking a few times to get rid of the blurriness, she sat up and groaned. She stumbled over to the door and found Howard standing there with a worried expression on his face.
“What’s wrong?” she barked, and Howard jumped slightly.
“It’s Greta. We found her sleeping outside in the garden.”
She frowned. “Where is she now?”
“The other girls took her to her room and we called the village.”
Then she remembered the events of a few hours ago and she glanced at her watch.
“Good. Please get her agency on the line for me.” What a way to start the day. She took a quick shower and popped into Greta’s room to see how she was doing. She was shocked to see the state in which the girl was. Greta was as white as a sheet and sat cowering in a corner. Jessica waited with her until the doctor came and was relieved when he gave her a clean bill of health. As she saw the doctor off at the door, she heard hurried footsteps coming towards her. She did not turn around.
“What is it this time, Howard?”
“The land overseer caught three men snooping around in the forest and called the police.” Howard was out of breath.
“And why does that concern us?”
“The men had lots of photographic equipment with them.”
Jessica spun around. Paparazzi. Just when she thought they had avoided detection. “Please, get me a couple of aspirin, Howard, and tell the overseer to lay a charge of trespassing. That should serve as a warning to them.”
She looked at her watch, it wasn’t even eight yet and already she was having a day from hell. She prayed that it didn’t get any worse, but it did.
An unexpected power failure had them rushing to the village to buy a generator. By the time they had it connected, the power came back on again and the shoot was delayed by three hours.
The night didn’t fare any better, Rissa didn’t show up, even though she waited until midnight. She fell asleep, her dreams overrun by a tall, gorgeous blonde with chocolate-brown eyes and a cleft chin.
Chapter 4
Cologne, Germany
Three years later …
The room was quiet, except for the soft rustling sounds of clothing brushing against skin. The woman sitting on the rumpled bed got up and walked out onto the balcony where she inhaled deeply of the crisp night air. The city was rather subdued for a Friday night – unlike New York. She felt a presence behind her and turned around, leaning back against the balustrade.
“I’m leaving.” The woman’s voice was as cold as her blue eyes.
To think, she’d thought the girl sweet and innocent the first time she’d seen her. The woman turned out to be a bloody shrew.
“See you tomorrow.” She murmured and saw the girl’s eyes narrowing to slits. Yep, she was pissed, but there was nothing she could do about it. “Goodnight.”
The woman turned on her heels and swept through the hotel room like a tornado, making sure she ‘accidentally’ bumped a few desk lamps and ornaments to the floor, as she made her way to the door. Definitely a shrew, she thought when the door slammed shut so hard that the whole room shook. Caroline will never forgive her for what transpired, or should have transpired, in this room tonight.
Alone at last, she re-entered the room, pulling the balcony doors closed behind her. On the way to the minibar, she picked up the remote and flicked on the TV. Even though most of the broadcasts were in German, it was better to have the TV on than to listen to the quiet emptiness of the room. She poked her head in the bar fridge and took out four small bottles. She unscrewed the cap on the gin and downed the contents in one go, coughing as the lethal tasting liquid burned down her throat. She unscrewed the second bottle, but having learned her lesson with the first one, took three swallows before tossing the empty bottles in the trash can nearby. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she eyed the two other bottles. Drinking alone was no fun at
all and her initial idea of going down to the hotel bar seemed to be an attractive option, all of a sudden. She grabbed her wallet and left the room.
As she walked down the long corridor to the elevators, she glanced at her wristwatch. It was only seven and the bar closed at twelve. Enough time to get a couple of drinks and maybe still go for a short stroll. Caroline had mentioned a lesbian bar situated nearby. Maybe she could meet a drinking buddy there, but she’d try out the hotel bar first.
She reached the elevator and pressed the call button. She saw it was still down in the basement. It would be a couple of minutes before her ride arrived. Another option was to take the stairs, but she didn’t really feel like exerting any energy now. She turned and looked down the corridor to where her room was. Maybe she could just watch TV and …
The doors leading to the stairs swung open and she turned with a smile to see who the brave person was, tackling the fifty or more stairs to get to the fourth floor. Her jaw dropped at the sight of the woman.
It was her!
Those eyes. She’d never forget those eyes. The woman came to a stop and was staring back at her. Jessica tried to look away, but those mesmerizing eyes held hers captive. It was only when the woman broke eye contact that Jessica quickly looked away. The elevator arrived with a loud ping and she quickly stepped in as she felt the woman’s eyes boring into her back. Phew! What rotten luck running into her here!
She felt in her pocket and contemplated opening another bottle to steady her nerves. The elevator doors slid open and without looking around, she made a beeline for the bar.
The area was sparsely occupied. She walked to the farthest corner and ordered a glass of red wine. While she waited for her order, she turned in her chair and scanned through the patrons. Besides the long, solid oak bar, big comfortable couches filled the interior. It gave the bar a warm, comforting feel. Maybe she’d have a drink or two and later moved to the couches. Her eyes fell on a couple at a nearby table who sat close to each other, their heads almost touching. The woman slipped her hand through that of her companion and smiled up into his eyes. Jessica felt a slight pang of jealousy at seeing the couple so happy together. Maybe moving to the couches was not such a good idea after all.
The past three years had been very difficult for her. Career wise, she’d made massive strides and amassed quite a small fortune, in addition to being hailed as the photographer most sought after by all the big fashion houses. But it all came at a price. She had to work extra hard to live up to her clients’ expectations and there’d never been time to pursue a meaningful relationship of some sort, with anyone. Not that she was motivated enough, should be added.
Tonight had been another failed attempt at trying to revive her wilting libido. Caroline’s disgust at her inability to get aroused was a sign that maybe she should give up trying so hard, before rumors reached the tabloids. She had an image to uphold after all. The only times she’d experienced stirrings of passion were when she took matters in her own hands, thinking of the time spent at Cleaver Keep. Specifically, those two magical nights spent in the arms of the mysterious woman. The couple leaned in for a kiss, and she quickly looked away.
“Your drink, ma’am,” the bartender said in heavily accented English and she smiled her gratitude. She took a long sip from her wine and gently put the glass down. After the Cleaver shoot, she’d twice been back to England. There was the Lilac perfume shoot in London and another in a small village outside of London. It was while they were on a daylong break that she’d hired a car and driven all the way to Cleaver, hoping that maybe she would still be there. Mrs. Darcy was pleasantly surprised to see her and had cooked her a wonderful lunch.
Afterward, while they sat on the patio drinking tea, Mrs. Darcy discreetly questioned her impromptu visit. It turned out that the hunting cabin had been unoccupied for almost ten years and that no one had ever rented the cabin from them. Even Charles Hutchens, the overseer, attested to the fact that the cabin had been locked up for close to a decade. Puzzled, she’d asked if there were anyone fitting Rissa’s description living in the nearby village. They couldn’t give her a definite answer. Just as she was about to leave, she had quickly popped into the stables, to the stall where she’d last made love to her. The stall was squeaky clean and it looked so cold and sterile, compared to that night three years ago when a soft stack of fresh-smelling hay served as a cozy love nest.
She hadn’t been back since and doubted she would ever go back again. It was as if Rissa had disappeared off the face of the earth. Nothing was left of her, but the memories she was carrying around and the haunting dreams, threatening her sanity.
Someone slipped onto the barstool next to her. A whiff of a very seductive perfume engulfed her senses and Jessica smiled her appreciation. A woman who smelled nice was a great turn-on, even if she wasn’t planning on getting laid.
“Could I please have a glass of red wine and another for the lady?” a soft voice said and Jessica turned to look at the woman. She blinked in utter shock.
Sitting next to her, looking absolutely gorgeous, was Gabriella. She was practically glowing from happiness. Her amber eyes twinkled as she stared back at Jessica with a wide smile. “I hope you don’t mind me buying you a drink.”
Jessica struggled to keep from staring, but failed miserably. Like an idiot, she could only gape at her ex-girlfriend. What the hell was I thinking, cheating on her? She took in the sleek, dark locks, which gently framed the exquisite face.
“You’re staring, Jess,” Gabriella said with a smirk and Jessica blinked quickly as heat spread up from her neck.
“You…you look fantastic, Gaby,” she gushed and pulled Gabriella into a fierce hug. Sitting back, she once again looked at her. “I must’ve been all kinds of stupid for letting you slip through my fingers.”
This time it was Gabriella’s turn to blush. She smiled up at the bartender as he placed their drinks in front of them.
“It’s in the past now.” She said, before looking up at Jessica from under her long, black eyelashes. “How have you been? I only see you on Star News and in magazines.”
Jessica noisily blew out a long breath. She suspiciously felt like crying all of a sudden. “I can’t really complain. You?”
Gabriella smiled again and Jessica felt envious at the dreamy look that came over Gabriella’s face.
“I’m doing well.” She lifted her hand and Jessica saw the huge diamond ring on her finger. “I’m engaged.”
Jessica studied the ring. It must’ve cost a fortune. The girlfriend was not only ridiculously beautiful, she was obviously loaded too. She looked up into Gabriella’s eyes and knew that even if she’d tried, she wouldn’t have been able to keep the regret out of her eyes.
“I was truly stupid, but I’m really happy for you.”
Gabriella’s hand covered Jessica’s own, and she sighed deeply.
“Hey, don’t be so gloomy. Everything worked out well, didn’t it?” Her voice was gentle. “I’m sure you’ve also found someone else.”
Jessica took a sip from her wine and shook her head. “I haven’t been as lucky as you.” She was studying Gabriella closely as she said it, but the amber eyes looked back at her with gentle compassion.
“Well, maybe your luck will change soon. Who knows? You are well-known, rich, and very sexy; no woman alive can resist that. “
Except you, Jessica thought sadly, but kept the thought to herself. There was no need to make Gabriella feel guilty for having moved on. She’d practically pushed Gabriella out of her life with her affairs.
“I hope you’re right. So, how’s your other half doing? I bumped into her upstairs at the elevator and wondered if you might also be here.” She changed the subject quickly, not wanting to wallow in self-pity any longer.
Gabriella laughed softly.
“She’s fine too. We haven’t been on a holiday in ages and since she had business to attend to here in Cologne, we’ve decided to stay a few more weeks and do the touristy thing
.” She took a sip from her wine. “What are you doing here?”
“Work, as usual. People always think that going on photo-shoots and crisscrossing the globe are all-expense-paid holidays. They have no idea how tiring it can be. We work long hours and have to be up at the crack of dawn almost every day.” Talking about work was a safe topic. It made her forget about her nonexistent love life, especially when confronted by one’s gorgeous, soon-to-be-married ex-girlfriend. “But it pays the bills and it’s not boring at all.”
Gabriella looked passed her and her eyes suddenly lit up. Without looking to see whom the recipient of the brilliant smile was, she knew it must be the green-eyed woman. Jessica felt the woman’s awesome presence the moment she came to stand next to Gabriella. She slipped a possessive arm around Gabriella’s shoulder and then the green eyes swung in her direction. She held out her hand and Jessica shook it lightly. She was surprised to find her touch to be quite pleasant. Soft, yet firm.
“Nice to officially meet you. I’m Trinity,” the redhead said evenly.
“Nice to formally make your acquaintance.” No need to give her name. She was sure that Trinity knew her name by now.
Gabriella looked up into Trinity’s eyes, and the love they felt for each other was almost palpable. Jessica almost grinned at the shamelessly besotted look on Trinity’s usually impassive face.
“Baby, Jessica is here on business, just like you. Maybe we can go out for dinner sometime. What do you say?”
The green eyes settled on her again and this time Jessica swore they were a tad colder than earlier.
“Sounds good. Maybe we could go dancing tomorrow night.”
Jessica weighed her answer in her head. Tomorrow was her day off and since she wasn’t in the mood to spend the day indoors, she’d asked Howard to do a bit of scouting today, so he could take her on a sightseeing jaunt the next day. Going dancing with a couple of hot women afterward didn’t sound like a bad idea. Being around Gabriella always had a calming effect on her and the crew could do with a break from her cantankerous mood of late. If not for herself, she’d favor the crew and spend the evening with Gabriella and her disturbingly mysterious fiancé. She looked up and nodded.
A Guardian's Salvation Page 5