by Coco Simon
They must be wondering, Who is this Katie? I thought. She must be pretty awesome to have people here holding up such a big sign for her.
So the game started, and I learned that when you’re playing at another field, they have to let you go first. Which meant we were up at bat first.
Luckily, Coach Kendall had me batting sixth.
Maybe I won’t have to bat this inning, I thought. Maybe everybody else will strike out.
As soon as I had the thought, I felt terrible. Of course I didn’t want anyone to strike out. I wanted us to win. Right? Of course I did. Winning was the goal here, wasn’t it? Or was it just to have fun, like Mom and everyone kept telling me?
Tanya, the girl who batted first, struck out. I felt really guilty that my first thought was “Good, at least someone else struck out before me.” But then Beth got up, and she hit a grounder to left field and made it to first base. Sophie was up next, and she walked, so there was someone on first and second. Then on Lucy’s turn she hit a ball way into the outfield. It bounced once, but the fielder got it fast and threw it back to the pitcher, so Beth couldn’t make it home and was stuck on third base.
The bases were loaded. My palms were starting to sweat like crazy, and Sam wasn’t even around. I held my breath when a girl named Sarah went to bat. She ended up striking out, too.
It was the first inning of my first game, and it was bases loaded with two players out. If you’re a superstar hitter, this is your dream situation. But if you’re a not so great hitter, like me, it’s pretty much your worst nightmare. So you can imagine how I felt.
The fuzziness in my head was worse than ever, and I swear I could have filled a gallon milk jug with all the sweat from my palms. I was so frozen with fear that when the first pitch came at me, I didn’t even swing. Unfortunately, it was a perfect pitch.
“Strike!” the umpire called out.
Swing, I willed myself. Just swing next time!
So when the next ball came, I swung—way too early, like I do when I’m not focused.
“Strike two!”
When the third ball whizzed at me, I tried to stay focused. But I should have wiped my sweaty palms on my pants, because even though I swung on time, the bat slipped a little in my hands, and I missed the ball.
“Strike three!”
The other team started running off the field, and I was confused for a second until I realized the half was over. We had lost our chance to score, all because of me.
“Good job, girls!” Coach Kendall called out. “Now let’s get out there!”
I was still standing at home plate, kind of dazed. “It’s okay, Katie!” I heard, and I looked behind me. It was Maggie. “Just shake it off!” Was Maggie pulling a Ms. Chen, telling me to just shake it off? “You’re doing great, Katie!” yelled Maggie. Wow, was Maggie actually being nice to me? I was so surprised that I kept standing there.
“C’mon, Katie!” called Coach Kendall.
I put down the bat and helmet, grabbed my glove, and jogged over to my position on second base. I quickly glanced at the stands, where Mom, Grandma, and my friends were still smiling and cheering. Didn’t they just see me strike out?
Sarah, the girl who had struck out before me, was pitching. I braced myself as the first Fieldstone batter came up to home plate. She looked about six feet tall and had muscles like a bodybuilder. Okay, maybe that’s not exactly true, but that’s how she looked in my mind. I was convinced we were playing a team of professionals in disguise.
The Fieldstone batter made contact on the first pitch, whacking the ball way into the outfield. Tanya was out there, and she missed the ball, but Sophie ran and scooped it up. I saw the batter touch first base and figured that was the end of the play.
Then I heard Sophie cry out, “Katie! Katie!”
I turned and saw her throwing the ball to me. To my horror the batter was making her way to second!
My heart was in my throat as I quickly got under the ball and caught it. For a second I stood there, frozen.
“Katie, tag the runner!” Coach Kendall called out.
I had forgotten all about that part. I ran to the Fieldstone player as fast as I could and touched her with my glove about a second before she got to the base.
“Out!” the umpire called, and I almost fainted with relief. Everyone in the stands cheered. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Grandma jump up. Oh boy, I really hope she wasn’t yelling “Yay, Katie-kins!” That would be harder to live down than Silly Arms.
I tried to concentrate. Almost messing up the play really bothered me. I kept thinking about it over and over, and so when the next batter hit an easy pop-up, I let it bounce out of my glove. The rest of the inning was brutal. Each Fieldstone batter was stronger than the next, and by the time the inning ended, they had scored two runs.
Lucy tried to psych us up as we ran back to the dugout for the next inning. “It’s just the first inning!” she said. “We can come back strong!”
But the game was a total disaster. Every time I was at bat I either fouled out or struck out, and lots of other girls were striking out too. The more runs the other team scored, the worse we played.
We had a chance in the third inning to score some runs. We had a runner on third base. There were two outs. Lucy was up.
“Go get ’em, Lucy!” I cheered. But then the catcher called time out and went to the mound to speak to the pitcher. The pitcher nodded, and the catcher trotted back to her position behind the plate. Then the catcher held her right arm straight out. The pitcher threw the ball to her right hand, far away so the batter couldn’t swing. She did this four times; it was an intentional walk. Lucy trotted out to first base.
At first I didn’t understand why the pitcher would intentionally want to put another batter on base. And then I understood. They intentionally walked Lucy to get to me because they figured I would be an easy out. Wow, these girls were just as bad as Sydney! Why would they be that mean? I knew it was about winning, but boy that made me even more determined than ever to get a hit. But I was overeager and swung at everything. Three quick strikes, and I was done.
The Fieldstone team didn’t even need to go up to bat in the seventh inning, because they had already won the game: 12–2.
We didn’t just lose—we lost badly. But I didn’t mind losing as much as I minded how badly I had played. Mom told me to do my best. If that was my best, I was in trouble.
Coach Kendall gave us a pep talk in the dugout. “This was a good first effort, girls,” she said. “We’re still learning how to play together as a team. You’ll see—we’ll do better each time we play.”
“When’s our next game?” someone asked.
“Monday night,” Coach Kendall said. “We’ll meet an hour early, so we can practice beforehand.”
Another game in two days? My stomach hurt just thinking about it. And every time I thought about the pitcher walking Lucy to get to me, my face burned.
But something else was upsetting me even more. Grandma Carole had come out early just to see me play. She had so much confidence in me and was sure I would do well. I felt like I had let her down. She must be so disappointed in me. How could I face her now?
Maggie was trying to cheer everyone up. Maybe she should have tried out for cheerleading after all, I thought grumpily.
“Hey, Katie, nice work!” she said. “You really went down swinging!”
I tensed up. Was she making fun of me?
But when I looked at her she looked friendly. “You weren’t going down without a fight!” she said.
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
Maggie hadn’t even played in the game. Maybe that’s why she didn’t feel so badly. None of the strikeouts were her fault.
“See you on Monday!” she said with a wave.
“See you,” I said. Then I turned to face the stands, where my fan club was waiting for me.
CHAPTER 16
I Learn Something New About Grandma
After Coach Kendall finished he
r speech, I slowly walked to the stands. Mom, Grandma, and my friends were all coming toward me, smiling.
“It’s all right, it’s okay, you did a great job, anyway!” Mom cheered, and at that moment I wished the ground would open and swallow me up.
“Well, I wouldn’t say ‘great,’ exactly,” I told her.
Grandma put her arm around me. “It’s just first-game jitters, that’s all,” she said. “I’m sure you’ll do great at your next game.”
My next game. The thought made my stomach flip-flop again.
Mom turned to the Cupcake Club. “Can you girls join us for some pizza?”
Vinnie’s Pizza was just a few blocks from the field, so we walked there. We couldn’t have all fit in the car, anyway. Mom and Grandma walked ahead of us. Thankfully, we started talking about cupcakes instead of going over that disaster of a game.
“You know, now that your grandma is here early, it will be hard to surprise her with a cupcake cake,” Alexis pointed out.
“I didn’t think of that,” I admitted. “The party’s Friday night, so we should bake on Thursday.”
“We can probably do it at my house,” Mia offered.
“Cool,” I said. Then I remembered something. “Mia, aren’t you with your dad next weekend?” It made me sad to think she would miss the party.
“Dad said I could come out Saturday morning instead,” Mia said with a grin. “So I can bring the cupcake cake with me Friday night.”
“Double cool,” I said.
We found a big table in the pizza parlor, and Mom ordered one plain pie and one pie loaded with veggies, Grandma’s favorite. The pizza was delicious, and of course we ended up talking about softball.
Grandma held up her glass of water. “Cheers to Katie! I’m so proud of you for playing your first game.”
Everyone clinked their glasses together.
“I was so nervous,” I admitted. “I couldn’t focus. And besides, we lost—in a major way.”
“You can’t win all the time,” Alexis said. “Our soccer team lost our last three games. That’s just how it is sometimes.”
“But don’t you get nervous when you play?” I asked.
Alexis shrugged. “Not really. I just play.”
I saw Mom and Grandma look at each other. Then Mom got up to pay the bill. Grandma smiled at us.
“I heard you girls are making a cupcake cake for my party,” she said. “I can’t wait to see it. Maybe you can give me just a little hint about it?”
I shook my head. “Sorry, Grandma. We want it to be a surprise.”
“One hint is that it will be delicious!” Mia said.
“Oh, I’m sure it will!” said Grandma.
“Katie told us you used to bake professionally,” said Alexis.
“Yes,” Grandma said. “But that was a long time ago. And now I’m happy you girls are baking for me. I like eating cupcakes more than I like baking them!”
We left Vinnie’s and walked back to the field. Grandma Carole pointed to the grassy lawn, where a gray bird with a black head and a red belly was hopping on the ground.
“There it is! The first robin of spring!” she said. She looked at me. “It always brings me good luck. And I think it’s extra lucky that I saw it with you.”
Grandma walked ahead, and I looked at the Cupcake Club and smiled. We had definitely designed the perfect cupcake cake for her!
But when we got back home, I wasn’t smiling anymore. I kept thinking about Monday’s game.
“Katie, come sit down at the kitchen table with us,” Mom said.
Uh-oh, I thought. I must be in trouble for something. Maybe they were going to tell me all the things I did wrong in the game.
But Mom asked me something I wasn’t expecting. “Katie, Grandma Carole and I have noticed that you are not yourself today. Is something bothering you?”
“Well, I guess …” I didn’t want to disappoint them.
“It’s okay, Katie,” Grandma Carole said. “We’re here to help.”
I took a deep breath. “It’s like this,” I said. “I know I’m okay at softball. And I like playing catch with my friends and even having batting practice with Matt. But being on the team … it’s so much pressure. I’m not having any fun at all.”
“I understand,” Grandma Carole said, nodding, and I was kind of surprised.
“You do?” I asked, surprised.
“I do. There’s a reason I quit baking professionally,” she said. “I love to bake, but once I started doing it as a business, it wasn’t fun anymore. I felt all this pressure to make things perfect. One day I was making a cake and I realized that I was hating what I was doing. That’s when I knew I had to stop and end the business.”
“That’s exactly how I feel about softball,” I said.
“I figured that because I recognized the look on your face,” Grandma said. “I’m sorry if I pushed you into sports at all.”
“You didn’t, Grandma,” I said honestly. “I wanted to try. It wasn’t just about making a team. I just don’t want to stink at sports anymore. I don’t want to be the worst kid at everything in gym class.”
“You can be athletic without being on a team,” Mom pointed out. “You can still play with your friends for fun. And I’ll throw a ball around with you whenever you want.”
“And I won’t make you play tennis anymore,” Grandma said with a grin. “The important thing, Katie, is that you do things that are good for you and make you happy.”
I grinned back. “I just remembered something. There is one sport that I’m good at, and I don’t ever need to be on a team. And the two of you are really good at it too.”
Mom and Grandma looked at each other, confused.
“Running! Anybody want to go for a run?” I asked.
Mom and Grandma both stood up.
“You bet!” Grandma Carole said. “Let me go get changed.”
A few minutes later the three of us were jogging through the park, under the trees.
And I didn’t feel nervous at all! In fact, I felt great.
CHAPTER 17
My Moment in Gym Class
When I woke up Monday I knew what I had to do, and it wasn’t going to be easy. Instead of taking the bus, I asked Mom to drop me off at school a few minutes early. I had practiced what I was going to say with her. “Take a big breath,” she said as I opened the car door. “It will be fine.”
“I know,” I lied.
“I love you, sweetie!” she called out, and I waved and shut the door fast. I love my mom, but you do not want your mom yelling “I love you” in front of the entire middle school, for goodness’s sake.
I took a deep breath. Then I went and found Coach Kendall in the gym office.
I knocked on the door. “Coach Kendall?”
“Oh, hi, Katie,” she said, looking up at me. “Come on in.”
I sat in the metal chair on the other side of her desk. Then I took another deep breath.
“So, I think I need to quit the team,” I blurted out. That is not how I planned to say it, but it just came out.
“Is everything okay?” the coach asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine, except that I just get too nervous when I’m playing,” I said. “Everybody says to relax and have fun, but I can’t.”
“But you’ve just started, and you’ve got talent, Katie,” Coach Kendall said. “I’m sure you’ll feel more confident the more you play.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. It’s a lot of pressure. I just don’t think I can do it. I like playing in the backyard with my friends, but I really hated playing during the game. I got nervous, and I didn’t sleep the night before the game. And, honestly, I just kind of hated every minute of it. And I know we just had one game, but I thought about it all weekend, and I don’t think softball is for me. Honestly, I almost threw up thinking about playing a game tonight. I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t disappoint you.”
Whew, well, at least I finally got out what I practiced with Mom.
Coach Kendall frowned a little and nodded her head. “Competitive sports aren’t for everybody. I certainly don’t want you to be unhappy. But if you change your mind and feel like trying out next year, I’d be happy to have you on the team.”
“Thanks,” I said. “And thanks for understanding.”
Then I left the gym, and even though I felt kind of bad about quitting, I also felt like a big rock had been taken off my shoulders. Like I could float or fly. What a relief!
Now I just had to tell my friends.
At lunch I waited until Alexis and Emma sat down with me and Mia. Then I just spit it out (not my lunch, my news).
“So I quit the softball team this morning,” I blurted out.
“Oh no!” Emma said. “But you tried so hard.”
“I know,” I said. “But I can’t take the pressure. I was miserable. I like playing for fun. But for real in a game, it’s not for me.”
Mia nodded. “Yeah, you looked pretty miserable on Saturday. Like all of your Katie energy was sucked right out of you.”
That’s why Mia is my new best friend. She totally gets me.
“Exactly,” I said. “Anyway, thanks for helping me out so much, you guys. And I’ll still play ball with you and stuff. I just don’t want to be on a team.”
“So does this mean you’re not going to find another after-school activity?” Alexis asked.
“Well, I have one new activity. I am running now,” I said. “I go with my mom or grandmother. I really love it. I just put my sneakers on and go, and there’s no pressure or anything. And I feel great afterward.”
“Hey, you should try out for the track team!” said Alexis.
“I don’t think so,” I said. “That’s the thing about running. It’s just me and my legs taking me along. I’m not worried about teammates or letting anyone down or who is watching me. It feels great to just run.”
“We do track as a unit in gym,” said Emma. “Just think about how great you’ll be!”
“And we have softball, too,” said Mia. “So that’s a bunch of gym classes you should ace!”
“I hadn’t thought about that,” I said. But it was true. Some worry-free gym classes wouldn’t be too bad.