But he hadn’t.
His eyes had locked on hers for a heart-stopping moment. Her belly had flipped and then flopped. She had dropped her gaze to his mouth, instantly recalling how those firm lips and that searching, commanding tongue had wreaked such havoc with her own.
The seconds of silence had pulsed with sensual energy.
‘That was a close one.’ He gave her a wry smile as he rebalanced. ‘I was about to fall flat on my face.’
‘I wouldn’t have let that happen.’
He looked at her for another long moment. ‘Do you want to have dinner tonight?’
She arched a brow at him. ‘You mean you don’t have pressing paperwork or thousands of emails to see to?’
‘Dominique told me you’re lonely eating in the dining room all by yourself.’
‘I’m not lonely.’ Lily knew she had said it too quickly. It sounded far too defensive and prickly.
‘I’ll get Dominique to pack us a picnic.’
She blinked at him. ‘A picnic?’
‘You have something against picnics?’
‘No, of course not. I love picnics. It’s just I thought—’
‘Meet me down by the lake. There’s a glade on the western side. It’ll be sheltered there if the wind picks up.’
‘You don’t want me to push you down there?’
He gave her a look. ‘No.’
‘But how will you—?’
‘I have ways and means.’
* * *
The ways and means had four legs, a mane, a tail and looked terrifyingly skittish. Lily was waiting on a tartan blanket Dominique had packed along with the picnic when she saw Raoul coming towards her astride a glossy black stallion—she assumed it was the one she had seen him with before. He was leading another saddled horse on a rein and she recognised it as the gentle one called Mardi that Etienne had introduced her to that first day. Her heart gave a sudden lurch. What was he doing riding? How had he got on and what if he fell off? She sprang to her feet, almost tripping over the picnic basket as she did so. ‘Are you out of your mind?’
The stallion gave a snort and danced as if the ground beneath his hooves had suddenly turned to hot coals. Raoul kept his seat and soothed the horse in softly murmured French. The mare did nothing but look with considerable relish at the fresh baguette that was lying on the tablecloth. ‘I thought you liked horses.’
‘I do, but you’re not supposed to be riding!’
‘Why not?’
‘Because you could fall off!’
‘I won’t fall off.’ He stroked the stallion’s satin-like neck. ‘This is the perfect solution. I have four good legs instead of two bad ones.’
Lily gave him and the flighty horse a doubtful look. The stallion looked edgy and temperamental. Raoul was flirting with danger if he thought he could ride again as if nothing had changed. If he fell off he could damage his spine even more. The thought of him being injured further made her stomach curdle. Hadn’t he had enough to deal with without looking for more tragedy?
‘You’re mad. You’re asking for trouble. It’s too soon. You could end up worse off. If you fall off and break both your legs, don’t come running to me.’ She blushed when she realised the absurdity of what she’d said. ‘I meant that figuratively...of course.’
‘Of course.’ He grinned as he held out the mare’s reins. ‘Then supervise me. Come with me and make sure I’m being a good boy.’
She gave him a telling look. ‘You and that stallion of yours are about as far away from good as it’s possible to be.’
His eyes glinted at her. ‘He looks mean and he acts mean, but he’s a big softy underneath all that bluster.’
Lily took the mare’s reins after a lengthy hesitation. The smell of leather and horse took her back to a time in her life when everything had been settled and in order. Happy. She stroked Mardi’s shoulder as she prepared to mount. ‘Good girl. Nice girl. Steady. Steady.’ She managed to vault into the saddle without going over the other side like a circus clown, but it was a very near thing.
‘You have a good seat.’
‘Let’s hope I keep it,’ she muttered.
It didn’t take her long to find her rhythm. The mare was as gentle and quiet as a lamb and her gait steady and sure. Raoul’s stallion was anything but. He pranced and snorted but Raoul didn’t appear to be having any trouble in keeping his seat. If anything he seemed to be enjoying himself. He looked relaxed and happy, his smile making him appear younger and more carefree than she had ever seen him. Looking at him now, no one would ever know he was unable to walk. He looked utterly gorgeous; fit, strong and devastatingly handsome.
He was the most wonderful, decent, honourable man she had ever met.
Hadn’t the last two weeks confirmed that? He’d kept a polite distance, respecting her decision that night in the pool to refrain from committing to a physical relationship. He hadn’t pressured her to talk about her past. He had simply given her the space to be herself.
He made her feel safe.
Her heart gave a little squeeze at the thought of going back to her life in London when this appointment was over.
Back to her female clients.
Back to her lonely nights watching something inane on television to fill in the hours until it was time to go to bed.
Back to reading books describing experiences she would never experience first-hand.
Like falling in love.
Lily gnawed at her lip. Maybe she wouldn’t have to rely on books for that. Didn’t she already feel a little bit in love with Raoul?
It was sheer and utter madness, of course. Deluded wishful thinking. Lunacy.
He wouldn’t have looked twice at a girl like her if he hadn’t been stuck with her at his château as a physical therapist. She had searched on her smart phone for a photograph of his ex-fiancée, Clarissa Moncrieff. Beautiful didn’t even come close to describing the slim blonde woman with endless legs and a toothpaste-commercial smile. Looking at that photograph had made Lily feel like a small brown moth coming face-to-face with an exotic butterfly.
Sure, Raoul had kissed her a couple of times, but that didn’t mean anything. Why would it? He’d kissed hundreds of women. He probably would have slept with her, too, if she’d given him the go ahead. He was used to having flings. Up until his relationship with Clarissa he hadn’t spent more than six or eight weeks with the same partner. His interest in Lily had more to do with propinquity than anything else.
And she had better not forget it.
‘Do you fancy a canter to the copse and back?’ Raoul’s voice pulled her out of her miserable mind wandering.
‘Does Mardi have that particular gear?’
‘If you give her plenty of encouragement.’
She gave the mare a gentle squeeze with her thighs and after a slow start the horse went from a trot to a lovely smooth canter. It was exhilarating to feel the breeze against her face as she rode towards the copse of trees. It brought back happy memories of a time in her life when things were hopeful and positive.
Raoul kept his stallion at a sedate pace but after a while he let him open out and stretch his legs. Lily watched as the horse’s satin-clad muscles bunched and fired as he shot past. Raoul looked in his element, like a dark knight riding his finest steed.
He brought his horse to a standstill as he waited for her to catch up. ‘All good?’
Lily couldn’t keep the smile off her face. ‘Wonderful.’
‘You look beautiful when you smile.’
She felt beautiful when he looked at her like that. His eyes were meltingly dark and sexy as they held hers. She felt her stomach pitch when his gaze dropped down to her mouth. It never failed to stir her senses. It felt like a vicarious kiss each and every time.
‘Are
you hungry?’ he asked.
‘Starving.’ Was he talking about food? Was she?
‘But first I need to dismount.’
‘How will you...?’
‘Watch.’ He made a clicking noise with his tongue and the stallion bent his forelegs to the ground. He eased himself out of the saddle and, using the horse as a prop, he came down on the picnic rug. For a fraction of a second it looked like he actually took all of his weight on his left leg. Lily was sure she hadn’t imagined it, unless it was her wishful thinking back in overdrive. Had he been aware of doing it? He issued an order to the stallion in French and the horse moved away and started grazing as if butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.
‘Wow, that is impressive. Has he always done that or did you just teach him?’
‘I taught him ages ago. I just didn’t realise how handy it would turn out to be.’
Lily could hear the strain of the last few weeks in his voice. Progress of any sort could be demoralising if it wasn’t as fast and as perfect as one had hoped for. She had seen so many clients struggle with the emotional side of rehab. That final acceptance of limitation was the hardest thing to deal with. Some people never got there. They just couldn’t cope with not being able to do the things they used to do. ‘You’re doing so well, Raoul. Did you realise you took your weight on your left leg just then? I’m sure I didn’t imagine it.’
He gave her a grimace that fell short of being a smile. ‘No, you didn’t imagine it. I can stand for a few seconds, but I can’t see myself walking into that church for my brother’s wedding, can you?’
‘The only thing that matters is your being there. I’m sure that’s all your brother and his wife-to-be want.’ Lily slipped out of the saddle and released the mare to graze alongside the stallion. ‘You have to be there, Raoul. You don’t really have a choice. You’ll hurt Rafe and Poppy too much if you don’t show up.’
He frowned as he picked a strand of grass and started toying with it. His right arm was still showing signs of the muscle wastage and topical dryness from being inside the cast and, though it was still swollen, his fingers were moving freely and seemingly without pain. ‘I stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Rafe at our parents’ funeral. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.’ His frown deepened as if he had time-travelled to that dark, tragic time in his head. ‘I put my feelings aside so I could support him. I swore on that day that I would always stand by him and Remy. That’s what brothers are supposed to do. They support each other through everything and anything.’
‘You don’t have to physically stand by someone to support them. There are lots of ways to show you care about someone.’ Like taking them on a picnic and arranging a quiet horse to ride so they get their lost confidence back.
Stop it. You’re reading far too much into this.
His hazel eyes met hers. ‘Rafe relies on me to back him up. Remy is like a loose cannon. I guess it’s because we spoilt him so much. He was so young when our parents died. We tried to protect him and as a result he takes a hell of a lot for granted.’
‘You did your best under terrible circumstances. No one could ask more of you than that.’
‘I can’t let Rafe down, but I can’t bear the thought of only being half there.’
She reached for his left hand lying on the rug and squeezed it in her own. ‘You won’t be half there. All of you will be there. Can’t you see that? You are much more than your physical self. Much, much more.’
He picked up her hand and brought it to rest against his chin. She felt the prickle of his stubble against her fingers and a wave of longing rolled through her as his eyes meshed with hers. ‘I wish I’d met you before my accident.’
Her heart gave a sudden kick against her ribcage. ‘Why?’
‘I think I could’ve fallen in love with you.’
Like you have a choice?
‘What’s stopping you now?’ She could not believe she’d just asked that! What was she doing, asking for a slap down? Hadn’t her self-esteem taken enough hits? Why would he fall in love with her?
She was a nondescript brown moth, not a beautiful butterfly.
His fingers moved against hers. They seemed to be relaying a message that was at odds with his words. ‘Reason. Rationality. Responsibility.’
‘The three Rs.’
‘You’ve been reading about me and my brothers.’
Lily decided there was no point pretending she hadn’t. ‘Rakes. Rich. Ruthless. Everyone’s been calling you and your brothers that for years.’
He frowned as he looked at her fingers encased in his own. ‘We’re one down on the rakes. Two, if you count me.’
Lily wondered if he was thinking of his ex. Even if he hadn’t loved Clarissa he must surely be missing the sex. He was an intensely physical man. Virile. Potent.
Irresistible.
He brought his eyes back to hers and her belly did a complicated gymnastics manoeuvre. ‘Do you realise this is the longest period I’ve been celibate?’
‘Wow, must be some sort of record, huh? What is it, six or seven weeks?’ Her face was hot. It felt like it was on fire.
You’re discussing his sex life?
What is wrong with you?
He gave her a grim smile. ‘Nine.’
‘Wow. That’s a long time. It’s like a decade for someone like you, right? Maybe more like a century. Or a millennium.’ Shut up!
His thumb traced a lazy circle over the back of her hand. ‘I guess it’s been even longer for you.’
Lily looked down at their joined hands. Her hand was so small compared to his. Her skin so light. It was like a physical embodiment of everything that was different about the worlds they came from.
Hers was plain and boring.
His was colourful and exciting.
The silence ballooned until it seemed to suck all the oxygen out of the air.
‘Have you...?’
‘I haven’t.’
They had spoken at exactly the same time.
‘You go first,’ Raoul said.
Lily blushed and looked down again at her hand within his. ‘I haven’t got back on the horse, so to speak. It wasn’t that I was all that good at it to start with. I’d had a couple of relationships but I can’t say I ever felt that certain spark everyone talks about.’ Like the one she could feel now as his thumb did another circle on her hand. ‘I guess I’m not a very passionate person. As a sexual partner, I’m what you’d call vanilla, not rocky road.’
His eyes went to her mouth. ‘I hate rocky road. Vanilla is simple and uncomplicated. Understated. Elegant. And it’s a perfect blend with other flavours. It goes with just about anything.’
Were they still talking about ice-cream?
Lily willed him to look at her. Couldn’t he see how much she wanted him? Her body was humming with need. It was a wonder he couldn’t hear it. It was like a roaring sound inside her ears.
Her blood was racing with it.
Firing with it.
Heating with it.
Exploding with it.
She wanted him.
It was a powerful, overwhelming feeling that was at odds with everything she had previously clung to. Pride, safety and security were nothing when it came down to the wire.
She wanted to feel like a woman. She wanted to be his woman.
He looked at her and the universe seemed to take a breath and hold it.
Lily saw the heat and the longing. She saw the need and desperation she felt in her body reflected in his gaze. She reached for him as he reached for her.
‘I want you.’ They said it in unison.
‘Are you sure?’ he said.
She stroked his stubbly jaw, mesmerised by the way his gaze had softened. ‘I’ve never been surer. I want this. I want you. I don�
�t want my bad memories to haunt me any more. Give me good ones to replace them.’
To store away and revisit when this is all over, as it surely will be all too soon.
He cupped her face in with his hands, his gaze dark, concerned. Conflicted. ‘I’m not the right man for you. I’m not the right man for any woman right now.’
Lily gazed into his warm green-brown eyes. ‘I think you’re the perfect man. It will be like the first time for both of us.’
‘I can’t offer you anything but this.’ His mouth was already nudging hers, his breath mingling with hers in that hotly intimate way that made her shiver and shudder with desire. ‘You have to understand and accept that.’
‘This is all I want.’ Liar. You want the whole shebang. You want the fairytale you keep reading about: boy meets girl, boy loves girl, boy rides with girl off into the sunset. ‘I want to feel passion again. I want to feel alive again.’
‘I want that, too.’ His voice sounded deep and tortured. ‘You have no idea of how much I want that.’
‘Show me.’ She breathed the words against his lips. ‘Show me...please?’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
RAOUL HAD BEEN making love—having sex was probably a more accurate way of putting it—with women since he was seventeen. He knew their bodies. He knew what turned them off and what turned them on. He was a master at seduction. He knew every move, every caress, every touch and stroke that would make his partner feel as if he was the most amazingly competent lover in the world.
But with Lily Archer he felt like he was starting all over again. He didn’t have a clue. He felt out of his depth. He was floundering. Worried. Terrified he might hurt her or make her scared.
Her mouth felt like soft velvet under his. It was so responsive, hungry, searching and yet hesitant, as if she were still feeling her way with him. Relearning the steps, tasting, touching and feeling. Her shyness mixed with her simmering passion made his body throb and ache with need. The way she touched him, the way her arms came around his neck, the way her fingers threaded through his hair made his desire for her roar inside his loins.
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