As she passed a mirror, she caught her reflection and gasped.
Thin strands of silver shone among her dull blonde hair. Stardust from her dream. Her hair was longer, too, reaching to her lower back, and silkier than she remembered. She ran her hands through her hair, uncomfortable with the ease with which Nadra had altered her looks. That the gods could manipulate her features, or enter her mind without her consent troubled her. She was accustomed to living with free will and wasn’t about to give it up for the whims of a few capricious deities.
Just as she finished lacing her breeches, there was a soft knock on the door, and the page entered with their meal. Taryn took the tray from him and placed it on the balcony table. She was pouring their grhom when Rhoane appeared in the doorway.
“It is not even light yet. Are you always this motivated in the morning?”
The sight of him made every nerve in her body dance. “Yes. Especially when I have things to do. Now, sit down and have some breakfast. I’ve been thinking, and I need your help.”
Rhoane took a seat beside her, stretching his legs. “What is so important it could not wait a few bells until at least the birds are awake?” He motioned to the still dark sky. “And why are we out here when you cannot see anything?”
Several songbirds began their morning greetings, filling the air with their trills and whistles.
“You were saying?” She teased and lit several candles she’d placed around the ivy-covered alcoves. “It’s my favorite time of day. Everything is fresh. Anything is possible.”
Rhoane yawned loud enough to wake the sea king, shaking his head. “Then by all means, share whatever it is that has you so motivated.”
Even on the road, Taryn had not seen him so disheveled. He’d never complained of the early hour before, or spoke in grumpy tones. She took her seat and sipped some grhom, easing into her planned conversation, allowing him to wake up before showing him the looking glass.
“I was thinking maybe I’d visit the library and see if I can find more information about the prophecies. They might help direct me in my path.” Rhoane nodded absently and she took that as a good sign. “Then I was thinking I might want to sit in on a few Privy Council meetings.” At his look of alarm, she added, “Not right away, but sooner rather than later. I can’t possibly understand everything that’s going on, but I have to start somewhere.”
Rhoane swallowed a bite of his eggs. “Just remember, there are those in power who will try to use you. They are clever, these courtiers. Do not be deceived by their false grace.”
“Trust me, I know. Now that I have a crown, they’re all going to want to be my best friend. That’s why I want to observe at first. Get a feel for how they work. I’d also like to tour as much of Aelinae as I can to learn about the various races and cultures.”
“Lliandra will never allow it. A tour like that will cost too much and right now she cannot spare the coin.”
“Who said she was invited?” Taryn said around a sip of grhom. “I was thinking maybe an extended trip with just you and me. Baehlon and Faelara, too, if you think we need the protection.”
Rhoane shook his head with a devious smile. “Your mother will not like the idea, I can guarantee it.”
The sun was breaking over the horizon when Taryn took a deep breath and pulled the looking glass from her pocket. “Okay, fine. We’ll table the trip for the moment. But there’s something you need to see. You aren’t going to like this.” She eyed him skeptically. “Show me the intruders.” The glass glowed to life, showing Marissa moving through Taryn’s rooms.
Rhoane’s gaze was tempered, but his jaw tightened, his nostrils flared.
“There’s more.” The ball flicked to Zakael entering her room through the secret doorway. When he stood over the sleeping Taryn, Rhoane’s fists clenched. When Zakael brushed his lips over hers, Rhoane pushed away from the table.
“Enough.” He paced along the balustrade. “What madness is this? To enter your rooms? To accost you so?” He spun around, looking at her, his glare accusatory. He kicked his chair closer to the table and sat back down. “Show me the rest.” The ball sparked again, showing Zakael trying to break into the warded cupboard. Rhoane exhaled slowly. “Why wait until now to tell me?”
“I was going to tell you yesterday right after it happened, but then we were training and later, in the orchard, it slipped my mind.”
“Slipped your mind? Something this important? So that is why he left in such a hurry.”
“He’s gone? Where?”
“Back to Caer Idris, for all I know. He and Valterys departed while you were at the beach.” Rhoane gave her a sidelong glance. “I found out last night before we met at Fae’s.”
A pang of rejection sucked at her heart. Valterys, her father, had left without saying goodbye. She tamped down the feeling and said brightly, “I wonder how Zakael explained his hands.”
“I am sure he will be wearing gloves for a while. That was very clever of you.”
“Thank you.” Her tone became serious, again. “Rhoane, Marissa knew exactly where to look for the seal. That means she’s been spying on me the whole time. What should we do?”
He poured the last of the grhom into their cups and said, “We need to secure your rooms, and then I am afraid we must tell the empress. She will not like what she sees.”
“Will you find out when Lliandra has time to see us?”
He stood and nodded, pulling her to him. His lips were on hers before she could stop him. She stiffened in his arms. “Is something wrong?”
“There’s one more thing about Marissa I need to tell you. She’s bedding Zakael.”
Anger flashed in his eyes. “How do you know this?”
“Hayden and I found them.” A shudder of disgust went through her at the memory. “The first night we arrived in Talaith, but Hayden didn’t know it was Zakael.”
He stepped away from her, and a chill invaded the space between them. “She would not dare.”
Taryn didn’t like the tone of his voice or the feeling of jealousy that pinged in her gut. “He was at Paderau, remember? With Marissa. Rhoane, is there something going on with you two that I should know about?”
“Of course not. My concern for Marissa is that of a brotherly sort. I do not have romantic feelings for her, if that is what you are asking. I just find it hard to believe she would be involved with Zakael in that way. You must be mistaken.”
Taryn glared at him. “You know what, Rhoane? Fuck. You. You’re just like everyone else around here. You think you know what’s going on, and so everything I say must be a lie.”
“I do not understand what you are saying.”
“Of course you don’t.” She moved closer to him, lowering her voice. “You have no idea what I’m going through or how hard this is for me.”
The emotions she’d fought hard to bury deep within her came bubbling out before she could stop them. “Do you have any idea what I left behind? It was amazing and terrible and uneventful in ways you’ll never understand. I had a life. Sure, it was an average, insignificant life, but it was mine. No one told me how to dress, where to go, or who I was going to marry. Then I step into the cavern, and suddenly life as I know it is gone. Done. Over. There are all these expectations now.” She thudded him on the chest. “You, for one.”
She paced the balcony, the words tumbling out, “You’ve had your whole life to get used to the idea that you’ll be stuck with the ‘Eirielle.’” She made quotation marks in the air. “I’ve hadone day. For what it’s worth, I don’t take much stock in prophecies and I prefer to make my own destiny, thank you very much.” Forcing herself to take a deep breath and stop talking, she climbed onto the ledge and dangled her legs over the side.
Rhoane stood where she’d left him, and she hated him for his inaction. She wanted him to hold her, but at the same time, to leave her alone. Her anger wasn’t for him but for the brutal way she’d been forced into her position.
In a quiet voice, she s
aid, “I’m supposed to protect all these people, but I saw their faces the other day. In the throne room and again on the street during the parade. Some of them fear me, which I can handle, but others hate me.” She looked at him through unshed tears. “I felt it in waves as powerful as your ShantiMari. I’ve never known such hatred—have you?”
She stared at the ocean, longing for the simplicity of her former life. “I don’t know what they want from me, and I’m scared. Of my power, of my feelings for you, of the responsibility that’s been thrust upon me.
“You tell me I’ve got friends who love me and won’t let anything happen to me, but no one protected me the other night. Marissa or Zakael could’ve killed me, and no one would’ve known it was them. How many others out there want me dead? How soon will it be before one of them is successful?”
Saying it out loud did nothing to diminish its potency. Instead, it made her more vulnerable than she’d been before.
“Darennsai.” He climbed onto the balcony ledge and faced her. “Sometimes I forget. In my mind, you have always been here, in some small way. We have spent so many seasons protecting the secret of your existence and now to have you returned—it is what we waited for, for so long.” He touched her face with his fingertips, and warmth bloomed under her skin. “It is easy to forget that you knew nothing of this world. You are so strong and confident.” He shook his head. “I suppose I did not want to admit that you might be frightened. That was ignorant of me.”
He looked to the sea, his face a mystery to her. “We are all afraid, Taryn. The empress, Faelara, Myrddin, myself. Underneath the everyday life on Aelinae, there are cracks forming that, if left unchecked, will tear this world apart. Someday you will see for yourself and understand what I am talking about. Until then, it is our job to prepare you for what is to come.” His shoulders sagged as he sighed. “I wish I could tell you what that will be, but I do not have the gift of foresight. I have accepted my path and never once have I thought that being by your side was akin to being ‘stuck with you,’ as you say.”
“What do you want from me, Rhoane?”
His voice was a whisper when he spoke, emotion raw around the edges. “I want to be with you in all things,Darennsai. In love and battle, in the quiet moments of the evening.” He took her hand and pressed their flesh together. Their runes melded into one design. “I want to be with you so completely that your thoughts are mine. I want to know your body better than my own, to know what pleases you and how to soothe your pains.” He closed his eyes, and their bonds glowed bright with his ShantiMari. “I want a smile to light your eyes every time you see me. I want to know you, your dreams, your desires, and your fears.”
He opened his eyes and stared into hers. “Prophecy says alone you fail. If you do not wish for this,” he let go of her hand, leaving her feeling hollow, empty, “I will not force you.”
“Rhoane,” emotion choked her thoughts. “I want all of that, as well, more than anything. But first I have to find out who I am and what I’m capable of.” She looked at him from beneath her lashes. “Everything hit me at once. I need time to make this all my new normal. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“Not really, no.”
“That’s the problem. I don’t, either. It’s all mashed up in my head right now, and I can’t sort one thing out from the other. I need to learn how to use my power. I need to make the empress happy. I need to figure out how to stop Valterys from taking over the world. I need to keep my sister from killing me. And if that wasn’t enough, I need to take a crash course in court politics so I don’t get used by anyone. Oh, and let’s not forget I need to find a way to satisfy a boyfriend while also training to lead an army. It’s a bit much, wouldn’t you say?”
“Taryn, you do not have to do all of this on your own. We are here to help and advise you. Do not make all of this your responsibility.”
A spark of anger lit through her. “Isn’t that what being the Eirielle is all about? Please don’t placate me, Rhoane. This burden has been put upon my shoulders, not yours or Faelara’s or anyone else’s. I know I have all of you to help me, but when it comes down to it, I’m the one who will be facing Rykoto in the end.”
“You mean Valterys.”
“That’s what I said.” Taryn shook her head to clear her thoughts. The morning had not gone the way she’d planned, and her emotions were spent. “We better get going. I want to meet with the sword master.”
He kissed her lightly on the lips. “I will, as always, be by your side, but I will not pressure you for anything beyond what you can give.”
She ran her hands through his hair, wishing things could be different. “What about Marissa?”
A shadow crossed over his eyes, and his jaw clenched. “We will take what we know to the empress and let her deal with her daughter.”
“So, you don’t really believe me? I know you took an oath, but I don’t want you here because of a promise you made before I was born. And I certainly don’t need you second-guessing me all the time. I want you to be with me because we’re partners. Equals who trust each other. I don’t lie, Rhoane. And I don’t hurt people to make myself look good. If we’re going to be together, you’re going to have to trust me.”
She left before he could deny her allegations. She’d already heard enough of his excuses.
THE summons came three days later. As she dressed to meet with the empress, Taryn fought her anxiety. She hoped Rhoane would be there, but because they’d not spoken since the morning she showed him the looking glass, she couldn’t be sure.
He’d missed her training in the yard, but that wasn’t unusual. However, when he failed to show up at Faelara’s, Taryn worried that she’d upset him more than she’d thought she did. She sent several notes to his room but didn’t receive a reply, which only heightened her concern. And made her doubt Rhoane’s insistence that his feelings for Marissa ended at friendship. Since he wasn’t speaking to her, she had nothing but her dark thoughts to keep her company.
She arrived at the empress’s lavish rooms early and was ushered into the empty sitting room. Lliandra entered, holding her hands out to Taryn. “My darling daughter. I am terribly sorry I haven’t made more time for you since the crowning.” Her Mari stretched across her face in a smooth mask, hiding Lliandra’s imperfections.
But Taryn saw them, just as she saw through her mother’s calculated concern.
“I treasure any amount of time you can give me. I know you are busy.”
“Still, I should be ashamed of myself. Here I’ve been pining for your presence for the past many seasons, and once you’re finally home, I all but ignore you.”
The same thought had nagged Taryn since her last visit with the empress. After her argument with Rhoane, she had plenty of time to sort out her situation, and one thing became clear—Lliandra was very good at public spectacles, but not at being a mother.
They made polite small talk while waiting for Rhoane, but after half a bell Taryn started to suspect he wouldn’t be joining them. She toyed with the looking glass in her pocket, hesitant to broach the subject. After discussing her desire to visit the libraries, which Lliandra favored, even going so far as to insist Taryn have a tutor, Taryn took a deep breath and held the looking glass out to the empress.
“This happened the night of my crowning.” Taryn started. The glass flared to life, showing Marissa and then Zakael moving around in Taryn’s rooms. Lliandra watched in its entirety, not saying a word until Taryn put the ball away.
“I see. Do you have an explanation for this?” Lliandra’s voice was neutral, as were her features.
“The only thing I can think of is that Marissa is spying for Valterys. They were obviously after the sword because the cupboard Zakael was trying to open held it, along with the crown.” She realized she’d not breathed since showing Lliandra the vision. Slowly, she let out her breath, taking a deep inhale.
“Your valuables should be locked in the treasury where they will be guarded
night and day. See to it that they are moved immediately.”
Taryn stammered a reply. “I didn’t come here to discuss the safety of my items. I’m more concerned with Marissa’s actions. Either you asked her to search my rooms, or she’s spying for Valterys.” The accusation was out before she had time to consider the consequences.
“Why would you think that?”
“Because she and Zakael are so, um, close.” Taryn looked away, embarrassed.
“You mean they are lovers? Do you have proof?”
Taryn was more than a little tired of people doubting her word. “Nothing I can show you, but I heard them.”
“Heard them? Explain.” Her tone became cooler, more distant, with each demanding question.
Heat flushed up her neck to the roots of her hair as she told Lliandra about her tour of the palace with Hayden, culminating in coming upon the princess and Zakael in a hidden passageway.
“Are you certain they were rutting?”
“Yes.”
“You say this was the very night we returned to the palace?” Lliandra’s tone held harshness still but took on an edge of indifference, too.
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“Who else knows?”
“Hayden.” Taryn almost told Lliandra that it was Marissa’s Mari on the sword at Ravenwood, and how her sister had searched her rooms at Paderau, but held her tongue. Unless she had proof, Lliandra wouldn’t believe her.
“Say nothing of this to anyone. I will deal with Marissa. Now, tell me what’s been keeping you busy.” Lliandra’s voice oozed with false cheer. The immediate change of tone, and topic, took Taryn by surprise.
“I, well, I’ve been training with the sword master and soldiers.” She fumbled for words. Her head was still swimming with the abrupt turn of conversation.
They spent the next bell chatting about everythingexcept Marissa and Zakael. Eventually, Lliandra stood, indicating the visit had come to an end. “Thank you, daughter, for your company. I look forward to seeing you again soon.” She gave Taryn a kiss on the cheek and a cold embrace. “Oh, and Taryn, whatever troubles you are having with the Eleri prince, resolve them.”
The Stones of Kaldaar (Song of the Swords Book 1) Page 27