Beautiful Monster: a standalone age-gap romance

by Sara Cate

  When I turn my head to see Liam, his face is already turned toward me.

  Our lips are inches apart, and I start to pull away, but he's already kissing me. His lips are soft, and my mind starts to replay the kiss from Alexander as Liam presses his tongue into my mouth.

  His hand skims my stomach over the thin material of my sundress. Winding his hands around my back, he pulls my body against his.

  "You okay?" he whispers.

  I nod.

  But I don't understand why he asks that. Am I okay with what? Kissing him? He'd know it if I wasn't.

  Suddenly his hands are exploring my body, cupping my breasts through my dress and swimsuit, squeezing and kneading them in a way that I'm sure he thinks feels good.

  The kissing is nice, and I can't say I'm all that surprised he's a good kisser. I expected him to be. But when I open my eyes and see Liam's boyish face, I'm a little bit disappointed, so I close them again and imagine it's Alexander's lips touching mine.

  "Let's go to your bedroom," he whispers as his hands glide down my body toward the hem of my dress, pulling it up with his soft touch.

  When I turn toward Cadence and Fischer, I notice they're already gone.

  "They went to Cadence's room," he mumbles against my neck. The kiss there sends chills down my spine, and I move without thinking. Standing up, I follow Liam down the hall toward my bedroom. Once we reach the doorway, I stop. The light is on and the window is wide open.

  My breath is caught in my chest. What if Alexander is watching? What if he can see Liam standing in my bedroom.

  Before I can think about it another moment, Liam is kissing me again. He moans lightly against my lips as he pulls the hem of my dress up, rounding the curve of my ass with his fingers.

  "Let me know when I should stop," he says in the silence, and I smile against his mouth. Part of me keeps screaming, do not stop. Never stop.

  But this is Liam. Not Alexander. And if it wasn't for that kiss today, I would rule out any possibility of Alex and me, and I would let Liam take me to bed without another thought. I'm ready to let go of my virginity. The overwhelming fixation on my innocence is suffocating. It feels as if I'm standing on one side of this door, ready to walk through and live my life, explore what is out there waiting for me, but also knowing that once I walk through, I can never walk back.

  Liam presses my hips against his with a groan, and I feel the thick hardness there, grinding against my stomach. I'm suddenly desperate to touch it, see it, feel it against my skin, but I don't move toward his zipper. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but I feel so fucking inadequate at this moment.

  Liam's fingers move toward my bikini bottoms, dragging his finger along the lining toward the center, and it sends chills to my belly.

  I'm overwhelmed, and I want this to feel good, but I'm too lost in my head about what I should or shouldn't be doing that I can't focus on the way his hand feels cupping me over my bikini bottoms, grinding the palm of his hand over my most sensitive part.

  This is for the best, I realize at that moment. I like Liam and I trust him, and Alexander wants nothing to do with an inexperienced virgin in bed who won't touch him or move because she has no fucking idea what to do. I would be mortified if this was how I felt with him.

  "Can I take these off?" he whispers with his face in my neck and his fingers tugging on the fabric between him and my sex.

  "No," a deep voice barks from the doorway.

  Liam and I both flinch and turn toward the doorway. There in his gray sweats and white T-shirt, looking stern and angry as hell is Alexander-fucking-Caldwell. I feel my heart pick up speed as his eyes travel down our bodies toward Liam's obvious erection and the center of my body where I can still feel Liam's touch vibrating like my body is just now reacting to the contact.

  "I think it's time for Liam to go home," Alex says without any emotion on his face.

  Sweet, innocent Liam doesn't even consider putting up a fight. With a sheepish look on his face, he bolts out of the room without another word.

  “What are you doing?” I say, watching Liam run from my room like he expected a beating if he stayed another second.

  “Saving you from giving away your first time to a guy who doesn’t know the first thing about making you feel good.”

  A rush of heat floods my cheeks as I stare at him. Alexander peeks down the hallway, seeing that it’s dark and mostly quiet except for the subtle movement and low moans coming from Cadence’s room. Then, he closes my bedroom door, shutting us in together. My heart begins to beat itself out of my chest. This can’t be happening.

  “You don’t have any say in who I sleep with. You’re not my...”

  “Not your what?” he cuts me off, stepping up to me, his body flush with mine. The back of my legs hit the bed, and if he inches any closer, I’ll be forced onto it.

  “Not your dad? Is that how you see me, Sunny?” His eyebrows are creased, and his face is contorted in anger, but his breathing is shallow. I know this look on him. He’s at war with himself again, fighting his demons and losing.

  I shake my head slowly, not sure how he wants me to answer. Does he want me to treat him like my dad? That kiss he gave me earlier certainly says no. A flutter of warmth pools in my belly just thinking that. It’s too dirty, too obscure to admit...the idea of him filling both of those roles. The one who protects me, punishes me, pleasures me. My eyes nearly roll back in my head just thinking about it, and I have to bite my lip to keep from moaning.

  “I’m not your boyfriend either, Sunny.”

  The coldness in his statement cools the heat in my body. He’s not my boyfriend, and judging by his tone, he never will be.

  His fingers touch my chin, lifting it up until his eyes meet mine. “I am a man, Sunny. And Liam is a nice guy, but I know what he’s thinking about you. I know that if you let him, he would shove his dick into you, but he wouldn’t know the first thing about giving you what you need.”

  A gasp escapes my lips at his words. Alexander has never spoken so vulgar, so dirty, and yet...I feel the moisture between my thighs.

  He steps an inch closer and I fall back, sitting on the bed before he nestles himself between my knees.

  “Lie down,” he commands, and I listen. My mouth feels dry, and the only sound I can hear now is the thrumming in my ears and the shaky intake of our breaths.

  Alexander leans over my body, placing a hand next to my head while the other travels up my thigh. “Has anyone touched you here, Sunny?” he asks, his voice shaking.

  “No,” I cry, pleading with him to touch me. “Please,” I beg.

  “Please what?” he asks, looking into my eyes.

  “Please touch me,” I gasp, feeling so vulnerable.

  “I will,” he says, teasing me, drawing circles between my legs. “Know why?”

  “Why?” My voice is strained.

  “Because I want you to know how it’s supposed to feel when a man touches you.”

  Leaning down, he nestles his face into my neck, kissing a line from my collarbone to my ear. Meanwhile, his fingers are creeping up my dress to the wet bikini bottoms between my legs. When they finally reach the moisture there, he lets out a low growl. He nips at my jaw, slipping the fabric to the side and running his thumb from the sensitive nub at the top all the way along my slit to the very back.

  My back arches from the contact, and I let out a deep moan.

  He lays his body against me, grinding his erection into my leg.

  I’m about ready to beg again when his thumb finds that sensitive spot again and flicks it gently, sending bolts of pleasure through me. Another finger perches along my entrance before slowly sliding. He keeps the pressure swirling around my clit, and my gasps in his ear are frantic. Every touch feels like an explosion.

  I cannot fucking believe this is happening.

  “You’re so wet, rain cloud,” he groans, sliding his finger in and out. When he works in a second finger, I feel my body building toward something that threatens to
shatter me. All I know is that I never want his touch to leave where it is right now.

  My head is spinning. Suddenly, his weight is off me and his fingers are no longer buried inside me. I gasp, until I feel both of his hands running along my inner thighs. He kneels between my legs, and his lips travel the same trail from my knees to my center. Hooking his fingers around my bikini bottoms, he pulls them down, letting them fall to the floor. The motion stirs an arousal in me.

  For a moment, I feel so exposed, afraid to let him see that part of me, but then his fingers are back to my center, teasing and exploring in such a way that I know he knows exactly how to please me.

  I cry out when his tongue runs from the bottom to the top. My feet lift off the floor, wrapping around him as the warmth of his tongue floods my senses. His mouth closes over the top of my mound, his tongue circling my clit, sending me flying. I never want it to stop, but I need this release so bad I would die for it.

  “Sunny, you’re so beautiful,” he murmurs against my core. “I want to worship you, my little rain cloud.”

  I let out a moan in reply. The words ‘I love you,’ hang on my lips because at this moment, I do.

  With his mouth on my clit, his fingers slide back inside, curling inward and hitting a spot that makes me see stars.

  “Alex,” I cry out, arching my back and digging my fingers into his hair.

  Without letting up, he applies more pressure to my clit, driving his tongue in circles and sucking while his fingers do that magic, and from there it doesn’t take much more before my toes are curling, my thighs are squeezing around his body and my breathing stops. I feel this orgasm from the tips of my toes to the top of my head, buzzing through me like electricity.

  I would cry out if I could breathe.

  It takes what feels like hours before my muscles release, and I relax heavy into the bed. Reaching for Alexander, he kisses the inside of my legs again, then pulls my dress down, covering my bare sex.

  He won’t meet my eyes as he stands. “Please don’t leave,” I breathe. I don’t know where this puts us now. Have we crossed a line or will he go right back to treating me like a piece of forbidden fruit?

  “Get under the covers,” he says in that same commanding tone. When I move to pull my dress off, he barks again. “Keep your clothes on.”

  “Alex—” I start to protest, but he glares at me, jaw clenched, so I stop. How does this man go from giving me the best pleasure of my life to scolding me in one second?

  “I’m going to stay here tonight because I don’t trust your sister’s horny friends. We sleep though, do you understand?”

  I nod, biting my lip. I don’t care if we do anything else, but his body within reach is all I really need.

  Quickly, he flips off the lights and crawls on the bed next to me. It’s not as big as his bed, so we’re forced to sleep with our bodies together.

  My heart can’t catch up, and I try to slow my breathing, but I’m still reeling from what he just did to me. Alexander touched me. He kissed me...down there.

  And now he’s going to act like nothing happened.

  “Alex,” I whisper, reaching for his hand in the dark. He wraps my fingers with his.

  “Go to sleep, Sunny.”

  “I can’t,” I cry.

  I hear his low laugh hum against my fingers. “Don’t say I didn’t give you anything for your birthday.”

  A smile creeps across my face. “Aren’t you going to let me give you something in return?”

  “No. Go to sleep.” He leans forward and presses his soft lips to my forehead. I breathe him in, desperate for him to put his mouth on mine, but he doesn’t. He just leans back and stays still until I hear his breathing change.

  It takes me at least an hour before I fall asleep.

  Alexander

  I slipped out of her bed before she woke up this morning. It wasn’t easy. I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her beautiful face while she slept. My morning wood wanted it even more than I did.

  But I kept it under control.

  What I did last night should have left me feeling like shit, but I was too busy reliving the way she panted and cried out my name while I was tongue-deep inside of her.

  In my head, I separated what we did with sex. I meant what I said. Sunny deserved to know pleasure in bed, and Liam—bless his stupid fucking heart—wouldn’t know the first thing about giving her an orgasm. I would have given her a hundred last night if that one didn’t almost break me. I had to put her to bed just to keep myself from pulling down my pants and burying myself to the hilt.

  I felt the way her legs nearly swallowed me whole when she came. That girl would be coming back for more. She’d be an idiot not to.

  Now, in the light of day, I know things have to go back to the way they were. No more sleeping next to each other and toeing the line like we have been. I know what a stupid idea that was.

  My struggle is about to get a whole lot harder. I came to this neighborhood to straighten up. Settle down and stop fucking everything that moved, including my too-young neighbor.

  Although, Sunny has become more than that now...hasn’t she? The girl I hired to paint my pool house isn't just a lust magnet for me. Sure, her perfect little lips keep my attention, but it’s the way she looks at me, the way she talks to me that keeps me grounded. She listens to me. I mean, she came over in the middle of the night to make sure I didn't drown in my own goddamn pool for fuck’s sake.

  I can’t go back to being the guy that lusts over her. We’ve made it so far with her staying with me, and I had an inkling that the full, satisfied feeling in my chest might be pride. For once in my life, I’m taking care of someone else with absolutely nothing in it for me.

  Why can’t she and I just have that relationship without all the goddamn lust involved? Why can’t I just be a normal fucking guy who plays the guardian instead of thinking with his dick all the time?

  After a quick shower, I decide to tackle the guest bedroom. My sister gave me a spare bed and a few extra pieces of furniture to make it a proper room for the kinds of guests that don’t actually sleep in my bed.

  The bed is already put together, and in the boxes Charlotte left me, I find the bedding, some decorations, and a few candles. By lunch time, I have the space looking like an actual guest room. I even have a few extra pieces of artwork and a lamp my decorator bought before she quit on me—another casualty of my behavior.

  I get the abstract hung above the bed when I notice movement in the pool house.

  “Good morning, birthday girl,” I say, standing in the doorway, watching her set up. She has her long, wet hair set in pigtail braids with denim overalls over a sports bra. The pants are baggy and rolled up to her knee. I find myself smiling at her even when I don’t mean to be.

  “Morning,” she echoes with a smile, peeking at me over her shoulder.

  I was afraid things between us would be awkward or what we did last night would change the dynamic between us, but Sunny seems unfazed, getting back to work on the upper half of her mural. The bottom is bright with color, reflected in the light, and I know it’s going to be perfect when it’s done.

  “Can I show you something?” I ask.

  She smiles hesitantly as she follows me toward the guest bedroom. At first, her face lights up when she sees the warm glow from the lamp and the cozy cotton aroma from the candle. Then, I see the smallest sign that she’s disappointed.

  “This is for me, isn’t it?” she asks.

  “You need your own space, Sunny. I want you to be comfortable, and I know that might sound ironic after what happened last night, but...it’s for the best.”

  “It’s perfect,” she says with a smile. “Thank you.”

  Then, she walks away, back toward the pool house, seemingly more okay with this than I expected she’d be. I thought she’d put up a fight like she always does. “You’re in a good mood today,” I call after her just as she reaches the sliding glass doors.

  She turns aro
und with a mischievous smile. “I wish my birthday came around a lot more often.”

  My lips cracked a smile, watching her walk away. After finishing up a few more things in the guest room, I head out to the pool house. She’s already deep into her work today. I figured Sunny might be working on a hangover, but she looks fine.

  “Let me know if you need anything today,” I say, walking to the fridge.

  She giggles quietly at my statement, and I stop, realizing what I just said holds a certain connotation after last night. “I didn’t mean it like that,” I laugh back.

  She giggles harder.

  “I’m going to the store. You need anything?” I ask.

  “No, thank you,” she answers without looking back.

  “Alright.” I’m standing only a couple feet away, and I feel the need to touch her. I settle for tugging gently on one of her pigtails. She swats at me after I do.

  As I walk out, she turns and calls toward me. “Oh, get me some of those chickpea snacks you had the other day. Please.” She throws me a toothy grin, putting dimples in her cheeks. I’d buy her all the chickpea snacks in the world if she did that.

  “You got it, rain cloud.”

  The solo trip does nothing to clear my head. All I can think about the whole way there and back is what I did last night, wondering if we could ever come back from that. No matter how much I keep trying to convince myself that my intentions were good, that I’m not a fucking creep who wanted to be the first tongue on that pussy, I still feel like one. Corrupting a sweet girl like Sunny because I didn’t want a fucktard like Liam to be the one to do it.

  And of course, the other thing I can’t stop thinking about is that I want to be the first one to fuck her. Not because I have some fantasy about virgins but because I should be the first one.

  Sunny feels like mine, and the thought of anyone else there, no matter how old or stupid he is, makes me want to drive this Audi straight into a wall. No, Sunny doesn’t just feel like mine. Sunny is mine.

  When I get back from the store, there’s a car in my driveway. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up when I think about Sunny in there alone and one of my dickhead “friends” showing up unannounced to find a gorgeous young virgin who never wears enough clothes prancing around my pool house.