“Who did eventually tell you?”
He explained about the base chaplain pulling him from mess hall one morning and informing him that he had been granted immediate leave to go home. He shook his head with a bitterness that brought an ache to Brenna’s heart. “A handful of people stateside knew,” he said. “Until the military chaplain, no one said a word to me. It was as if Lori convinced everyone that my goals and safety were more important than her life—or that she believed I thought they were. She let herself grow worse every day, alone, so I would keep my mind on staying safe and not give up any of my stupid benefits.”
His indrawn breath was shaky. He looked at the ceiling. “To this day, I still can’t figure out what kind of man she thought I was. Did she think I wouldn’t be able to handle it, that I’d fall apart? Did she secretly not want me there with her? Did she believe I didn’t have the right to know?” He scrubbed his hand down his face. “Or did she believe I was so selfish that I wouldn’t want her suffering to interfere with my plans?”
“No, Mike,” Brenna said. “Anyone who’s met you knows that you are an unselfish person.”
“Yeah, well ask my daughter what she thinks of that opinion.”
“She’ll come around. Carrie knows that you’ve sacrificed so much to bring her here, where she’s not bombarded with bad memories every day. She knows you’re helping with the football team, the Cultural Arts Center.” Brenna placed her hand on Mike’s knee. “You’re a giving man, Mike. Carrie will appreciate that someday, even if she doesn’t fully now.”
A smile trembled on his lips. “If I live that long. Anyway, Lori left me out of the most important aspect of her life, of our lives. She didn’t trust me with the truth, for whatever reasons she had for doing that. I asked her when I finally did come home, but she was so weak by then...” He clenched his hands between his knees. “I live with that every day. With the realization that she didn’t want me to know.”
Brenna gave his knee a gentle squeeze. “I’m so sorry, Mike.”
“I’m a big boy,” he said. “I’m coping with this a little better every day. Someday maybe I’ll even be able to forgive her and myself, for not seeing the signs, for not knowing.”
“That’s the first step.”
“At the end, at her bedside, she just gave me daddy lessons, made me promise to protect our daughter.”
That explained a lot. “And you’re fulfilling your duties as a dad. Protecting Carrie as your wife asked you to. You can’t keep blaming yourself because you didn’t know your daughter as well as you could have,” Brenna said. “You’re a good dad. Carrie wouldn’t be coping half as well as she is if it weren’t for you.”
“That’s up for debate.”
“Not at all. Look at the strides she’s made in a few short months. She’s reached out to me, made friends, might be on a pathway to calling Charlie her boyfriend. She’s a normal fifteen-year-old girl, Mike, complete with mood swings and obstinacy and the typical view that her parent is clueless.”
“Yeah, she’s all that.”
Brenna rubbed her palm along Mike’s bare arm. “What can I do to help?”
He turned on the bench and looked into her eyes. With his free hand, he cupped her cheek. “You already have, Brenna. You’ve listened, and you’ve said some things that will stick with me.” He smiled at her. “Too bad you have this goal to avoid involvement in people’s lives. Contrary to what I thought at first, you’re pretty good at interfering.”
She smirked. “Only where you’re concerned.” She leaned into his hand. “For you, my friend, I would gladly be Miss Buttinski whenever you need me to be.”
His eyes reflected an inner anguish. “As long as certain lines between us are drawn, you mean?”
Suddenly the lines he was talking about seemed insignificant. He was hurting, and she desperately wanted to help. But that wasn’t all. His hand on her face felt so good, so natural. It would be so easy to close the few inches between them and kiss him. It was what he wanted. It was what she could give him. What could one more kiss matter? She leaned toward him...
“There you are!”
Mike dropped his hand as if it had caught fire. Brenna jerked away from him, spun around. “Alex! How long have you been there?”
“Just walked in the door. I went to your house and it was closed up tight.”
Mike clasped his hands and released a long, trembling breath. Brenna checked her watch. Yikes. “We were working,” she said. “I lost track of time.”
“Luckily I remembered you said you’d be here,” Alex said, approaching the bench. “So I came to drag you out before we both starve to death.”
He stuck his hand out toward Mike. “You were at the Riverview, weren’t you? Mike, is it?”
“That’s right.”
Alex grinned. “Looks like Bren has met her match in the volunteer workaholic department.” He reached down, took her elbow. She rose and stared down at Mike.
“I’ll see you soon,” she said. “Carrie and I are going shopping tomorrow, so you might want to polish up your credit card. She’s talking about making this a birthday to remember.”
“I think letting her buy what she wants is the safest way to please her.”
The reversion to the safe topic of Carrie had seemed awkward, and Brenna’s efforts to make her goodbye seem lighthearted fell far short of her goal. She resented the slight tug Alex administered to her arm. Yet an unbidden relief flooded her. She’d almost given way to temptation, abandoning her goals. Her life was well thought out. Certain things mattered to her. And she’d do well to remember that honorable, steady Mike Langston couldn’t ensure that she’d never go back to that trailer.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE NEXT MORNING at ten o’clock, Brenna pulled in front of Mike’s house. After feigning a headache the night before and sending Alex home early, she felt rested and ready to traipse through the shopping mall with Carrie. And ready to see if Mike was okay this morning.
She shut down her engine, checked her hair in the rearview mirror and started to get out of the car. If Mike invited her inside for a cup of coffee, she’d take him up on it. Alex had walked into the center at an inconvenient time, and Brenna wanted to at least make sure the lines of communication between her and Mike were open. But he didn’t come outside to greet her.
Wearing a short denim skirt and blouse, Carrie came out the door, her shoulder bag thumping against her hips. Her hair was in a ponytail that hung just over her bare shoulder. “Bye, Dad!” she called as she came down the porch steps.
Brenna, fighting off stubborn disappointment, sank back into the driver’s seat. No coffee. No Mike. Okay.
Carrie got in the car, and Brenna put the gearshift into Reverse. No point hanging around. Maybe after she dropped Carrie off...
As she drove away from the cabin, she saw Mike in her side mirror. He stood on the porch dressed in jeans and a short-sleeved T-shirt. He had a coffee mug in his hand. He’d obviously seen her looking in the mirror. He raised his hand for a slight wave. She honked her horn.
“So, you ready to shop till we drop today?” she asked Carrie.
“Yeah, I even got the credit card. Dad said I could spend a hundred on stuff for my room and a hundred on clothes.” She smiled. “I haven’t even had to remind him too many times about my birthday. I think he remembered.”
“Sounds like he’s being very generous,” Brenna agreed.
“I figure we should go to a really cheap decorating place so I can fix up my room and still have most of the money left for clothes.”
Remembering what she’d told Mike yesterday, Brenna smiled back at her. Carrie really was a normal teenage girl. Mike didn’t need to worry all the time. “You’re the boss today, Carrie,” she said.
“Are we going to the mall in Libertyville?” Carrie
asked.
“I thought we would. It’s closer than Athens or Augusta, so we’ll have more time to scope out the stores.”
The girl settled back in her seat and gazed out the window. “Good. They have really excellent clothing and decorating places there.” After a moment she said, “Can I turn on some music?”
“Sure.” Brenna hit the four-lane road to the bigger town and drummed her fingers on the steering wheel in time to a young singer with a sweet voice. “What’s your dad doing today?” she asked when the song ended.
“Oh! I forgot to tell you!” Carrie’s eyes were bright with excitement. “Dad said maybe we can get a dog. He’s measuring the backyard for a fence, and he might go to the home improvement store to get posts and stuff.”
Good for you, Dad. “I think that’s great,” Brenna said. “Have you started looking?”
“We’ll go to the shelter tomorrow. Dad said I have to limit the dog to under thirty pounds.”
“That still gives you lots of options.”
“Why don’t you go with us? That would be so cool. If you and I both agree on the same dog, even if he’s bigger, Dad will have to agree to take him.”
Brenna felt a surge of temptation. She’d never had a dog as a kid so hadn’t really thought about having one. But it would be fun to be in on the experience. Common sense soon won out over her inclination to say yes, however. No, Brenna. You’re not part of this family.
“I don’t think so, Carrie.” She laughed. “You’re not talking me into being a coconspirator in this deal. You and your dad are on your own.”
They talked about school and activities and cafeteria food as the miles ticked away. Brenna carefully broached the subject of Charlie with an innocent question about how their friendship was progressing.
Carrie answered with a sigh and silence before finally admitting that she really liked Charlie. “He’s as cool as any of the guys in California,” she said. “And he’s so cute.”
“I guess I have to agree with that,” Brenna said. She’d always had a special fondness for Diana’s son. He was a good kid, exactly what she’d told Mike that night in the pizza shop. “Your father doesn’t mind you hanging out with Charlie?” she asked.
“My dad minds everything,” Carrie said. “But he has loosened up on the Charlie thing a little. And the dog thing. He may actually become human if he keeps this up.” She twisted her purse strap in her hand. “And I’m trying, too,” she said. “Just like you told me the other night. Dad’s not so bad, really.”
“No, he’s not, and I’m sure he appreciates your efforts.”
When Brenna asked about the girls she’d introduced Carrie to at the football game, Carrie was still enthusiastic. “They are all so much fun,” she said. “They go places and do the coolest things. And they have parties and hang out all the time.” She frowned. “I’m not allowed to do all the stuff they do,” she said. “But when I’m with them, it’s such a blast. They know how to have a good time without parents constantly looking over their shoulders.”
“I’m sure their parents keep a close watch on what they do,” Brenna said. At least she hoped that was true. Anyway, how much trouble could a few teenagers get into in quiet little Mount Union, Georgia?
* * *
FIVE HOURS LATER, her feet aching from walking the length of the mall at least three times, Brenna pulled up to the cabin. She figured Mike would be anxiously standing at the door keeping vigil, but he was nowhere to be seen. Carrie thanked Brenna for taking her, jumped out of the car and grabbed sacks from the backseat. She ran onto the porch.
“Dad! Don’t come in my room!” she hollered in the front door. “I want to put everything out on my bed, then you can see.”
Well, good, the shopping expedition had been a success.
Brenna got out of the car and waited, her keys in her hand. Maybe Mike would come out. She hoped so.
She heard water running from the side of the cabin and gingerly stepped over the gravel pathway to see what was causing the noise. Mike was definitely home. He stood near the side of the house, one hand flat against the log wall for support. His other hand held a garden hose over his head. Water sluiced over him, soaking his bare chest and the waistband of his jeans.
She cupped her hands around her mouth, and when sufficient air had filled her deprived lungs, she shouted, “Hey!”
He looked up, dropped the hose and twisted the faucet handle. “I didn’t hear you drive up,” he said.
“Oh. Ah...” Words, Brenna. You know what they are. Combinations of letters formed together to make sense. “We just got here,” she said.
He reached for his T-shirt hanging over the back of an old lawn chair.
“How’d everything go?” he asked, slipping the shirt over his head. “I hope Carrie didn’t wear blisters on your feet.”
“Not at all, and I think the shopping went really well. We tortured your credit card.”
He smiled. “I thought you would.” He walked closer to her. “So I can put a check mark in the success column for the fifteenth birthday?”
“You can.”
“Pardon my appearance. It’s hot today.”
Indeed it is. “No sweat. What have you been doing?”
“Got a few fence posts in. Looks like we might be getting a dog tomorrow.”
Exhibiting her ignorance, she said, “Why the fence? Can’t you just let him run? As Carrie points out, this is the boonies.”
“Really shouldn’t. There are panthers and other critters out here. Besides, I want Carrie to help me put in a garden, and I need to keep the deer out.” He looked over Brenna’s shoulder. “Where is she, anyway?”
“In the house. She’s putting everything on her bed so you can see what you bought.”
He laughed. “Swell. I take it I’m supposed to think everything is way cool.”
She smiled. “If you know what’s good for you.”
He continued to the front of the house, and Brenna fell into step beside him. Even after his dowsing, she could feel the heat radiating off his bare arms. Or maybe off her arms. Either way...
“Thanks for doing this,” he said. “And by that I mean thanks for getting me out of doing it.”
“No problem. I usually don’t have to be persuaded to go shopping.”
“Well, I’m sure you did a better job of advising her than I would have.”
He climbed the steps to the porch but didn’t invite her to follow him in. “We’ve got a game tonight. You’re coming, aren’t you?”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” she said. “You know how I love football.” She smiled at the familiar sarcasm, only now the sentiment didn’t seem all that sarcastic.
“You can come in if you want. I’ve got to grab a quick shower and get dressed in my official gear, but it won’t bother me if you’re here.”
Why did his sudden disinterest get under her skin? Isn’t this exactly the kind of relationship she wanted with Mike? Casual, friendly. Hang out or don’t.
“No, I’ll get going,” she said. She wanted to tell him that she’d passed on an invitation from Alex to see a small theater production in Athens tonight so she could attend the game. She’d had to promise that she’d go with him to a wine tasting and jazz concert on Sunday, though. But right now Mike didn’t seem as if he’d appreciate her sacrifice.
He waved from the front door and went inside. Brenna got in her car and backed away from the cabin. The rest of her weekend was looking bleak. She’d never really liked jazz.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
DURING THE NEXT two weeks, Mike decided that no one seemed happy, least of all him. The Ravens football team had lost their most recent game, and Bobby Montgomery was taking the heat from the townspeople. Even Charlie, the star running back, was moody, and his reticence caused Carrie to worry
that her first love was going to dump her.
“What does dumping even mean?” Mike asked Brenna one night at the center. This particular night, he was even more down than usual because Brenna looked exceptionally cute in shorts and a tank top and with her hair up in a funny twisty thing with cherries printed on it. They’d been working for days to get the old building ready for the teens to enjoy it, and now that they were in the homestretch, he was sorry the project was nearing completion.
“Come on, Mike,” she said. “You know what dump means in dating terms, don’t you? Or have you never been dumped, and it’s not part of your vocabulary?”
“Oh, I’ve been dumped,” he said. “Plenty of times. But you have to be going steady for that to happen. Do you think Carrie considers that she’s been going with Charlie?”
Brenna tried to wiggle the soundproof partition she’d been bolting to a wall of the library. Apparently deciding it was secure, she turned her attention to Mike. “Open your eyes, Dad. Everyone knows Carrie and Charlie have been going together.”
He carried a stack of chairs into the classroom space blocked off by Brenna’s partition and began putting them in rows. “So they’ve been kissing and stuff like that?” A stupid question, but he’d been doing his best to avoid thinking about any physical part of Carrie’s relationship with Charlie.
“Considering I saw him kiss her in front of her locker the other day, I’d say that’s a safe bet.”
“And he gave her a necklace with her birthstone in it for her birthday,” Mike said. “Seemed a little too personal to me.”
Brenna didn’t comment.
Mike made a growling sound deep in his throat. “What am I supposed to do now that you’ve given me this information?”
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