by Stuart, Amie
He untangled his legs, wishing he could do the same with his mind, his life, and stumbled to the bathroom. With a twist of the lever, ice cold water poured from the tap. He scooped handfuls of it up and doused his face. The water helped but still wasn’t enough.
Ty scrubbed his face and hands dry, then met his own reflection in the mirror, startled at how pale he looked. The hand towel slipped from his fingers and fell into the running water. He flicked the lever off.
Where the hell was Bettina? Down the hall.
In the bedroom, he paused in front of the bed he’d shared with Rhea for twelve years. Tomorrow, he’d take the damned thing out, pour gasoline on it and watch it burn. No wonder Bettina hadn’t wanted to sleep with him.
The damn thing was evil and tomorrow it was gone.
Decision made, he grabbed his extra pillow, planning on spending the rest of the night with Bee. The only reason he hadn’t slept with her was because she needed her rest. He headed out the door and in five short steps stood at the door of the room Bettina had taken over. Even in the dim light, the room looked like her. Cluttered, bright and cheerful.
At the side of the bed, he hesitated. What if she didn’t want him here? She didn’t seem angry, but what if? She looked so pretty lying there, one fist tucked up under her chin. He pulled back the covers and slipped in beside her, instantly feeling better. This felt nice.
She mumbled in her sleep and he shushed her even as his eyes roamed her face. He fought the urge to trace the contours of her cheek with his finger. He didn’t want to wake her up. Didn’t know how she’d feel about him being there or if he could stand a rejection tonight. Not after another nightmare and not after the near-miss they’d had with the baby.
* * *
Ty woke slowly this time. Somehow, in the night, he and Bettina had shifted and she lay sprawled across him, in her usual position. One arm thrown over his chest, one leg thrown over his.
He studied her, his fingers gently running through long blonde curls. She really was beautiful, even with no makeup. He loved her so much it made his heart ache. He burrowed down under the covers until he had her securely wrapped in his arms. There wasn’t a part of him that couldn’t feel every soft inch of her, and his body responded accordingly, despite his best intentions.
"You look awful serious there." She caressed his stubbled chin with a finger, her touch light and soft.
His morning-time erection returned full force.
"Just thinkin’," he replied, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. He gasped when he felt the palm of her hand brush against his erection through the soft cotton. "You can’t."
"I know." Her smile held a hint of regret.
Oh God. He inhaled sharply, leaned over and brushed her lips with his, a mass of curls clutched in his hand. He groaned, "Why is it all so good with you?"
He gave her another tiny kiss, not waiting for or expecting a response.
"I don’t wanna get up," he whispered against her lips.
"So don’t. It’s Sunday."
"How are you feeling?"
"Tired—" she shrugged, "—still a little crampy."
Maybe just a few minutes. No, he needed to get himself under control. He had a lot to do today. The bed. With a nod and one last kiss to her forehead, Ty rolled out of bed.
He returned a few minutes later with his coffee and a cup of the tea for her. The sight of Bettina in just her panties brought him up short, and he stopped in the doorway of her room, uncaring of the hot cups in his hands.
Not one tan line marred her creamy skin, and her blue paisley bikini panties clung to her lush hips. He sighed, unable to move. Then felt himself blush as she looked up and caught him watching her through the mirror. She smiled, obviously not embarrassed at all, and finished dressing.
He mentally shook himself and set the cups on the nightstand, embarrassed at being caught acting like a sixteen-year-old. As if he’d never seen a naked woman before. Though, to be frank, nobody could hold a candle to Bee. He smiled at the thought, feeling good despite last night’s nightmare.
She slipped between the sheets and patted the spot next to her. He couldn’t have resisted if his life had depended upon it. Ty climbed in, the feel of her against him warming his blood all over again. They lay together a while, silently sipping their drinks. But he needed to get up.
He reluctantly broke the easy silence. "I need to get moving and feed you."
She nodded and leaned back, some of the light fading from her eyes.
Hopefully she’d understand.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
NOT ALONE
Ty left me alone after setting me up with breakfast. Delaney showed up around nine and sat with me all day, and Angi came with her but didn’t stick around for very long. Around lunch time Cassi showed up with a passel of movies, a bag of books and a deck of Skip-Bo cards. No one would let me out of bed or explain the strange noises I heard late that afternoon. Not even Jessa when she popped in with dinner. Nothing distracted me on my slow journey to stir-crazy, and I didn’t know whether to scream or laugh.
Toward sundown Angi came to kiss me goodbye, then disappeared taking Cassi, Jessa and Delaney with her. I only had the tantalizing scent of Jessa’s turkey tetrazzini for company. I was lying there stewing in my own juices when Ty showed up, a smile on his freshly shaved face. His hair was still damp from a shower, and even from three feet away, I could smell the clean soapy smell of him.
I’d missed him.
"How are you feeling?"
"Tired and crabby," I snapped.
"Cramps?" He frowned and came to sit on the edge of the bed.
I nodded, biting my tongue at his obvious concern. I was still worried about the baby, despite the sonogram, and had done my best not to think about it all day. But that was like ignoring a zit on prom night. Impossible. “They’re not too bad.”
"Hungry?"
"Not really?"
He kept stealing glances at me from the corner of his eye and fiddling with his fingers. "I got you something."
The slight quaver in his voice blew my anger away. I scooted closer and lightly scratched his back. "What’s that?"
He stopped rubbing his hands together long enough to look at me. "In the other room. Would you..." He pointed.
I nodded and let him help me up. Down the short hall we went, stopping in front of the closed door to the master bedroom.
Puzzled, I frowned up at him, but only got a small smile and a quirked eyebrow for my troubles. He fumbled with the doorknob and pushed the door open, his arm tightening at my waist.
Smart move.
My knees nearly gave way at the sight of my bedroom furniture and my queen-sized Shaker bed all made up with my summer quilt. The one we’d conceived Baby B on. "How...how?" I turned to face him, my arms outstretched in question.
He leaned against the doorjamb, never taking his eyes off me. "You were right, and I don’t wanna sleep without you. Honestly, I wanted to burn the other one, but Daddy said it’d smolder for days, so I donated everything to a shelter Dr. Ritter does counseling for."
My arms fell to my sides, suddenly heavy. Unable to form any sort of response, I stood there, staring at him.
"Angi helped." He gave me a quick little smile. "You can get in. I made it up. You should lay down and I’ll move your TV." He crossed to the bed and pulled the quilt and sheets back. I followed and placed a hand on his back. He turned and kissed me, but not before I’d seen his suddenly-red eyes.
"I love you," he whispered against my lips. "I love you and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy." He kept kissing me and rubbing his face on mine, whispering it over and over again.
I clung to him, suddenly drowning in my own tears. It was all just too much. We curled up together under the covers, nearly nose to nose, like we had been a few nights ago. "Thank you."
"You don’t have to thank me. I’ll do whatever I have to—"
My fingers on his lips quieted him. I propped myself up
on my elbow. "You listen to me, Ty Boudreaux! You don’t ever settle. You don’t...you don’t—" I took a deep breath and pushed forward through the tears choking me. "You don’t have to do things to make me happy, you only have to make you happy. Understand?"
"But I want to make you happy, Bee." He sat up so we were nearly eye to eye.
"You can't make me happy. That’s not your job. That’s my job. Your job...you love me?" The thought still boggled my mind. Except for Angi, I hadn’t heard those words spoken to me since I was a child.
He nodded as one lone tear trickled down his cheek. "I know we’ve only been married a few weeks, but...Bee."
I could see him struggling for words and his eyes pleaded. "Remember the sixth grade dance?" I whispered.
He frowned and leaned back as his eyes cleared. "Jimmy Merk. You ripped your dress."
"You walked me home, then blacked his eye." I smiled, stroking his face with my fingers.
"I didn’t black his eye." Ty shook his head and frowned again, and I did likewise. "I remember the black eye but I didn’t do it."
I went from shock to laughter in three seconds flat, falling against the pillows and overcome with hysterical laughter. Ty watched me, a puzzled smile on his face, and I took a couple of deep breaths, struggling to recover. "Oh, baby, I love you so much." I pulled his face down and kissed him, sweet, soft kisses as I continued to laugh and cry. "All these years," I whispered between giggles, "I thought you defended my honor."
He grinned and chuckled and his chuckles turned into a full-blown belly laugh. "I didn’t do the deed, baby, but I know who did."
I quirked an eyebrow in question.
With a smile he whispered, "Tim," against my lips. "While I was walking you home."
I giggled again and settled closer. "You’re kidding?"
He shook his head and switched gears on me, suddenly turning serious. "Do you really love me?"
"Absolutely." I grinned and pulled him close for another kiss. "I have since the sixth grade."
"Since the dance?"
I nodded, my cheeks hot with guilt and embarrassment, but this was Ty. And I could admit things like this to him.
"I wish I’d known sooner," he whispered, a dark shadow crossing his face.
"Oh Ty, how could you let her do that to you, sweetheart?"
He looked away and stretched out on his back beside me.
I refused to let him get away this time and pinned him down with one leg, curling up as close as possible. "I’m not...I just don’t understand."
"She needed me. Even when she was little. She was always difficult, hard to please, high strung. Hmmpf." He shook his head and continued, "For her, life was one big drama. Sometimes I think she hated needing me. Dad didn’t raise us to hit women. So I never hit back. When things got really bad, I just prayed they’d stop. I didn’t know how to ask for help, I didn’t know how to make it stop, I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want anyone to know. Including you, which is why I didn’t tell you. I was ashamed."
I lay there, quietly stroking his face and taking it all in as he talked and talked and talked. First chance I got, I was hiring me a hitman. Okay, well, not really. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in jail, but it was the thought that counted.
"I just didn’t want to ruin our first holiday together, so I waited. Dr. Ritter says everything happens for a reason. Even bad stuff, and sometimes, you have karma with someone you have to take care of or a lesson you need to learn. But then sometimes we aren’t supposed to understand why things happen, just accept that they have and move forward."
* * *
I spent two days laying around being catered to and hating every minute of it. Angi refused to go back to school and put in calls and emails to all her professors. She’d been adamant about staying until at least Wednesday, when I had the second sonogram. In the meantime, she cooked, cleaned and smothered with the help of my husband and every other female in the family. The way the Boudreaux women banded together to help Ty and I left me speechless...and a touch weepy. And I’d never again nag at Angi after this week. Talk about a payback.
I said, "relax" but no one listened. We’d heard the heartbeat, after all. Everything would be fine. Right?
I forced myself to think positive thoughts and follow the doctor’s orders. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared.
Ty barely left the house and did his own share of hovering every evening when Tara showed up with the mail and bills. As if he were afraid I’d overdo via check signing. As if anyone would let me. After I snapped at him for the umpteenth time Tuesday night, he gave me his wounded puppy look and took off for Tim’s.
Wednesday dawned cold and rainy—not a good sign. They were predicting flash floods.
The drive to Marilyn’s office was silent and tense, the only sound in the car for the longest while the squeak of windshield wipers.
"Relax," I said softly, squeezing his bicep. "Everything will be fine."
"What if it’s not?"
I turned to watch him as he drove, thinking again how handsome he was. Even if he did have a tendency to mother hen.
"Then we’ll just...muddle through the best we can."
Once we reached the building that housed Dr. Toombs and Marilyn, Ty dropped me off, and I waited under the awning for him to park and join me. Hand in hand, we silently rode the elevator to the second floor where Ty pulled me aside.
I gently squeezed his icy cold fingers and uttered my mantra again, "Everything’s going to be fine."
"I hope so." He gave me a tiny smile, his green eyes more solemn than usual.
Rather than squirm, I looked out the window at the sheets of cold icy rain falling.
"You love me," he said softly.
He was scaring me. I nodded and squeezed his fingers again while trying to tamp down the flutterings of fear in my stomach. "With all my heart."
"I love you, too. No matter what happens, I love you. Please don’t forget that."
I took a deep breath and willed away the tears that threatened. "Everything will be fine," I said, finally meeting his eyes with a half-assed smile.
"Let’s go." He wrapped an arm around me and we headed around the corner to the doctor’s office.
Once we’d signed in, Marilyn came out and sat with us.
"Are you going back with us, Marilyn?"
"You bet. How ya feeling?" she asked.
"Tired and frustrated."
With a laugh she patted my hand while Ty remained silent on my other side, his fingers permanently attached to mine. His knee bounced at about a hundred miles-per-hour until they called our name.
"Boudreaux?" Cindy stood at the doorway smiling at us.
The three of us followed her back. Once we reached the room, I kicked my shoes off and assumed the position, while Ty stood by my head. Marilyn pulled a stool up for him, but he shook his head no, so she sat and took my hand with a smile. Reinforcements. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear she was nervous, too.
Once they had me prepped, Cindy started. My eyes were glued to the screen as she searched out the baby. The machine was strangely quiet. Marilyn softly asked questions.
"Have you felt any movement?"
"Not since Thanksgiving. And only a little before then."
"Still spotting?"
"Yeah," I replied, my eyes on the monitor. I could see the baby but didn’t hear a heartbeat. I swallowed and took a deep breath. This wasn’t good.
Everything was supposed to be fine!
Marilyn squeezed my hand as I searched for Ty, struggling against a bubble of hysteria.
With my free hand, I reached for his fingers. "Honey..."
He swayed on his feet. Marilyn hopped up and guided him down on the stool, keeping a hand on the both of us. I watched Cindy’s eyes search for hers and nod.
It was over.
EPILOGUE
Two Weeks Later
Ty thumbed through a dog-eared magazine, sneaking glances at Bettin
a every now and then. She couldn’t seem to hold her knee still.
The last two weeks had been long and difficult for the both of them, and this was their first official trip out of the house. Fitting, probably, that they should be here, of all places.
He’d never loved Bee more or been more grateful for his family who’d taken the news in stride, then left them alone to grieve in private. His momma had cautioned him against letting Bettina shut him out, so he’d stayed close—as close as she’d let him. Marilyn had hugged them both and cried with them for an hour, then sent them home with words of wisdom: lean on each other. There hadn’t been many times in the last few weeks they’d been without one another.
Three days after the sonogram, it was truly over.
He never would have believed it, but to his surprise, his strong and sassy wife fell apart. True to her nature, she’d recently begun to rally—a little—but wasn’t ready to go back to work. He’d held her and cried with her. Kissed her and promised her more babies.
And they’d talked, a lot. Ty had held strong, and was her rock. But she always seemed to sense just when he needed her.
"Ty?"
At the sound of his name, Ty stood up and gently wrapped Bee’s arm in his. He forced himself to return Dr. Ritter’s smile and performed the introductions before she led them to her office.
"Do you mind if we sit on the couch?" Ty asked, his voice husky and suddenly thick.
"No, sit." Dr. Ritter grabbed her infamous pad and pencil.
They sat next to each other on the loveseat—made from the same nubby blue material as the chair he usually sat in, and waited.
"So, how have you two been? Good I suppose, since you’re here together?" She waited, an expectant smile on her face.
Ty and Bee looked at each other, and he tightened his grip on her when her lower lip began to quiver.
"Good and bad," she whispered with a shrug as the tears welled up in her eyes.
"We lost the baby." Who would have thought his life could have changed so much in a month. "But like you said, we’re here together."