Chapter Two
Jaci
Being in a car alone with Nex, breathing in his scent, was making me crazy. This was the first time we’d been alone together, and if I thought trying to control myself in a bar full of people was hard, that was nothing compared to how hard it was to keep from jumping him when we were alone together.
“This is it,” I said when we pulled into the driveway of the little house I shared with three roommates.
He looked up at the single-story, white clapboard house, frowning. “You should keep some lights on.”
“Porch light is burnt out,” I muttered, twisting my purse strap in my hand. “I guess the girls forgot to leave a light on inside when they left. It’s fine, I’ll—”
“I’m walking you in,” he said, holding his hand out for my keys.
I’d never be able to resist Nex within a few feet of a sofa or bed. Hell, even a wall would do at this point. I hadn’t had sex in eleven months, and the celibacy thing was starting to get on my nerves, especially since my girlfriends came home every night bragging about their sexual escapades.
But Nex was the guy my mama always warned me about: sexy, always with a ready line, popular with the ladies, and money to burn. Falling for someone like him could only lead to heartbreak—if I was looking for a relationship. Which I definitely was not.
I sighed when I realized he wasn’t budging until he’d seen me inside. Dropping the keys into his hand, I jumped out of the car before he could open the door for me as he had in the parking lot.
His long strides made a joke of my short ones, meaning he met me at the front of his classic muscle car before I could run up the stairs. Reaching for my hand, he turned me to face him. “Why are you always in such a hurry to get away from me, beautiful?”
Because you scare me. “I’m not.”
“I think it’s because you’re afraid of this.” With his free hand, he gestured between us. “You felt it the first night we met, and you can’t deny it’s been building ever since.”
Yeah, like a tinderbox about to spontaneously combust. “I think you have an overactive imagination,” I said, trying unsuccessfully to tear my gaze from his. He had the most incredible blue eyes I’d ever seen. Every time he looked at me like that, as though he were thinking about all the dirty things he wanted to do to me, I was tempted to let him take me on the spot.
“Maybe I do.” He leaned in, his hot breath fanning my cheek. “Maybe right now I’m imagining how amazing I could make you feel if you’d just let me.”
I held my breath to suppress the helpless whimper bubbling up inside. “I told you I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?” he asked, tipping his head back to look at me.
“Can’t, won’t, what’s the difference? The answer is still no.”
“Hmm,” he said, curling his hand around my hip. “So you’ve said. But the way you kiss me says something else.”
That was the problem. Every time he kissed me, I was putty in his masterful hands. That was what convinced me that giving in to Nex would be a very, very bad idea.
I braced my hands on his powerful shoulders. “I don’t want a boyfriend.” I knew one night with Nex could change all that. I’d told myself I wouldn’t get tied down in college the way I had in high school. I’d enjoy the experience, free and single, with no one to answer to but myself.
“Did I ask to be your boyfriend?”
I was grateful there were no lights to illuminate my embarrassment. “No, but…”
“But what?”
“I’m not very good at the whole casual sex thing.”
He squinted those eyes, filled with mischief, that I could get lost in. “I had a feeling.”
“But I bet you are.” I didn’t have to ask, I knew guys like Nex had revolving doors in their bedroom.
“Do I like sex? Yes. Do I appreciate beautiful women? Absolutely. Give me both and I’m a happy man.”
I tried to take a step back, but he caught me before I could get away. I didn’t appreciate his flippant attitude about sex. I knew my religious upbringing had a lot to do with it, but I still believed the act of sharing your body with another was special, sacred even.
“Why do you do that?” he asked, forcing me to look at the ink decorating his powerful biceps instead of into his eyes. If not for the full moon overhead, I wouldn’t have been able to see a thing. Perhaps that would have been better.
“Do what?”
“Shut me down like that. It’s obvious how I feel about you, and you can’t deny you’re attracted to me.”
“The only thing that’s obvious to me is that you want to get me into bed.”
He took a step back, raising his hands. “I get that you’re not that kind of girl, Jaci.”
Oh, but I could be with him. And that’s what worried me.
“So how ’bout we start with dinner and see where we end up?”
I knew where we’d end up. In his bed, with me trying to sneak out in the middle of the night to avoid an awkward morning-after scene where he promised to call but never would. Once he got what he wanted from me, he wouldn’t want me anymore, and I’d be left berating myself for not trusting my instincts.
“I don’t think so.”
I made it up the three steps leading to our front door before he was crowding me against the weathered, splintered wood.
“Just tell me why not. The truth.”
I curled my hand around the knob, knowing I couldn’t open it without the key I’d given him. “You want the truth?” I asked, turning to face him. “All through high school, I dated one guy.” I held up my index finger to emphasize the point. “Everyone, including my mama, thought we’d get married.”
“What happened?”
“I woke up one day feeling like I couldn’t breathe.” I’d never forget the day I realized I had to get out of my small town and see more of the world, to experience all the things I’d never had a taste of before. I suddenly wanted wild parties, alcohol, hot sex, sexy guys, and life without my mama breathing down my neck and weighing in on every decision I made. “I knew I had to get out of there, to get away from him… and her.”
“Who are you talking about?” he asked, frowning. “Your mother?”
“Yeah, and my boyfriend.”
He took a step back, clearly curious about the man I’d never mentioned to him before. “How long did you guys date?”
“Since my sophomore year of high school. We broke up when he went away to college but got back together when he came back two years ago. He started pressuring me about getting married, and I just couldn’t do it.” I felt the wave of nausea wash over me again as I saw the disappointment on Scott’s face when I told him it was over.
“When did you break up with him?”
“Right before I moved here. The plan was for me to go to the University of Georgia since we lived in Hartwell, not far from Athens…” I stopped talking when I realized I was babbling.
He smiled, encouraging me to continue.
“He was devastated.” Tears burned my eyelids. “I felt terrible. Scott was one of the nicest guys I’d ever met. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him.”
He reached around me, unlocking the door before pushing it open. As soon as we were inside, he flicked the switch, bathing the small entrance in light. “I want to hear more about this Scott guy. Why haven’t you told me about him before?”
I shrugged, wishing I hadn’t mentioned him now. Scott was a part of my past. I’d moved to Tampa to reinvent myself, to start over. “I didn’t think it was important.”
“It’s obviously a big part of the reason why you don’t want to get involved with me, so I’d say it is pretty important. Do you still love him?”
A part of me would always love him, but that didn’t mean I wanted to go back to the life we had. For the first time, I finally felt I was alive, doing things I never would have dared before. Like working in a biker bar and dressing to turn heads.
“I’
ll always love him, Nex. That’s the way it is when you spend so many years with someone.” I didn’t expect him to understand. I had a feeling the milk in my fridge had longer expiration dates than most of Nex’s relationships. “But I want a different life now. I want to push the boundaries, to experience things I never have before.”
He stepped back, brushing a hand over his short black hair with a frustrated sigh. “They say timing is everything. Seems to me like I met you at the worst possible time.”
“What do you mean?”
He made strong eye contact, failing to blink. “I’ve done all the things you claim to want to do. I’ve partied, drank too much, slept around. Now I want more, and I want it with you.”
It was difficult to breathe as I tried to fight the magnetic pull drawing me to him. “I never said I wanted to sleep around.”
“No, but you never said you want to sleep with me either.”
It would be so easy to say “I do,” because I did. But one night would lead to another, and before I knew it, I wouldn’t be able to get enough of him. “I want…” I rested my hands on his chest, captivated by the solid beat of his heart under my hand. It reminded me that Nex was human too. He had a heart that could break as easily as mine could, and while I wasn’t arrogant enough to think I would ever be the woman capable of breaking him, that reminder prompted me to be more sensitive. “I want my freedom. That’s what I need more than anything now.”
He dropped his head, bracing his hand on the wall above me. “And you don’t think you could be with me and have your freedom at the same time?”
Some things were too good to be true. That was one of them. “No, I don’t. I’ve seen how you get when a guy hits on me. We’re not even dating and you’re already territorial. What would it be like if I agreed to go out with you, or worse, we slept together?”
He flashed a quick grin, the panty-drenching kind. “That wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen to you, trust me.”
I tried to smile, but my lips couldn’t move with his eyes locked on them. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be. Still, it’s not a good idea.”
“After hearing your story, I can’t even disagree.”
Huh, he’s giving up just like that? Guess he isn’t as interested as I thought. I knew I should be relieved, not disappointed, but I couldn’t deny it stung. “Good. Then we’re in agreement.”
“I didn’t say that.”
His lips hovered above mine, daring me to take what I wanted, but I refused to make a liar of myself. No matter how badly I wanted to.
“You might be right. You. Me. Might be a bad idea, given where you are, where I am.”
I wanted to ask where he was, what he wanted, but that would make it seem like I was wavering and I wasn’t. Was I? It was hard to make sense of anything with his mouth so close to mine.
He curled his large hand around my hip. “See, here’s the thing. I’ve tried getting you out of my head, and I just can’t seem to do it.”
I know the feeling. Ever since I’d met Nex Steele, he’d had the starring role in my dreams.
“I know that if I got you in my bed, I wouldn’t want to share. Knowing you’re out partying every night, getting drunk with your girls, getting hit on by guys…” He shook his head. “That wouldn’t sit well with me.”
He was talking about taking away my freedom, my right to choose, just like Scott and my mother had tried to do. “That’s why I can’t do this.”
Before he could object, our attention was drawn to a fit of giggles on the porch, followed by a dull thud and a muffled curse, which led to more giggles.
Apparently, my roommates were home. I didn’t know if I should be relieved they were saving me from finishing this conversation or pissed they had lousy timing.
“Seems we have company,” Nex said, stepping away from me to open the door he’d closed behind us. “Hey, girls, need a hand?”
They reacted the same way I had the first time I laid eyes on him—utter shock. No way could any man be that perfect. But after months of looking for any tiny flaw, I knew he really was that perfect. Damn him.
“Oh. My. God.” Jade’s jaw dropped. “Nex. Steele. What are you doing here?”
Jade had seen Nex in the bar a few times and told me if I didn’t want him, she would be happy to take him off my hands. Uh, yeah, no thanks.
“Just seeing Jaci home. Can I give you girls a hand?” he asked, grinning at Miranda, who was leaning heavily on the house as though she needed the support to maintain an upright position.
Miranda glanced at his hands before skimming her fingertips down his muscular chest. “Hmmm, I know what I’d like you to do with those hands.”
She did not just say that! “Uh, get in here,” I said, stepping forward to usher my drunk friends inside. “You’re letting the bugs in.” Helping them inside meant my back was pressed to Nex’s front, giving him the opportunity to rest his hands on my hips. Not that I minded. If his hands were going to be on anyone tonight, I wanted them on me.
God, that man had me so confused. He had me wavering between possession and freedom every other minute.
“Do you need help getting to your room?” I asked, gripping Casey’s, my third roommate’s, arm as she stumbled through the door.
“I can handle it,” Jade, who happened to be the least drunk of the bunch, said and linked arms with Casey and Miranda. “You just say good night to your man.”
“He’s not my…” It was no use. They were already halfway down the hall, laughing about something that happened at the party they’d attended. “Sorry about that,” I said, looking up at Nex. “They tend to get a little carried away.”
“How about you?” he asked, skimming my cheek with his hand. “Do you like to get carried away too?”
I’d drunk more in the months since I moved to Tampa than I ever had in my life, but my roommates still thought of me as a lightweight since I couldn’t put away as much as they could. Nor did I want to. I really enjoyed my new life—partying, having fun, meeting new people, stepping out of my comfort zone—but I could always hear my preacher’s voice in my ear, warning me about the perils of excess.
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“There’s no better feeling in the world than letting go,” Nex said, brushing his lips against my neck. “But you don’t need alcohol to do that. You just need to clear your mind.”
Hmmm, I saw his point. Right now the only thing on my mind was how long it would take to get out of our clothes and whether we had the restraint to make it to my bedroom. “How do you suggest I do that?”
He chuckled, the deep sound sending chills chasing each other all over my body. “I’d rather show you than tell you. Do you work this weekend?”
I worked every weekend, but when I agreed to take Kelly’s shift tonight, she said she’d work for me Saturday night. “I have Saturday night off.”
“Any plans?”
I was sure my friends had a good time lined up for us, but I couldn’t kill my curiosity about what Nex might propose. “I’m not sure yet.”
“Have dinner with me.”
It wasn’t a request. He didn’t sound uncertain the way most guys did when they asked me out on a date. He sounded sure of himself, as though he’d been waiting for me to concede, certain I would eventually.
“You could say no again…” His words were a whisper on my skin, causing me to sink my teeth into my lips to suppress a soft moan. “But we both know you don’t want to. Not this time.”
“Fine,” I said, drawing a shuddering breath. “One date.” I would have several days to change my mind or at the very least to remind myself of all the reasons I absolutely could not sleep with him.
He looked smug when he moved in for a kiss. I expected it to be deep and probing, but it was brief, leaving me wanting more, which I was sure had been his intent. “I’ll call you tomorrow. We’ll decide when and where.”
“Okay.” I watched him take a step toward the door before he surprised m
e by reaching for my hand and bringing it to his lips.
“I won’t make you regret it, Jaci.”
I was already regretting it, but not because I didn’t trust him. I didn’t trust myself.
Chapter Three
Nex
Ryker and Mac invited me for dinner, and since I’d considered going back to Jaci’s workplace for the third night in a row, I accepted their invitation to resist temptation. “Thanks for having me,” I said, grabbing my sister-in-law’s hand and kissing it as she reached over my shoulder to set a salad bowl on the table. “I haven’t had a home-cooked meal in ages.”
“You really should learn to cook,” Mac chastised, claiming the seat beside me, her husband on the other side, at the head of the table. “Eating takeout day after day isn’t good for you.”
“I can grill a steak,” I said, shrugging as I reached for the platter of pasta my nephew Zane handed out to me. “So I won’t starve.”
“Are you holding out?” Mac teased, nudging me in the ribs with her elbow. “Hoping you’ll find a good woman to cook for you?”
Ryker laughed. “He’s still got his eye on that little waitress from Downlow.”
Mac wrinkled her nose. “The pretty blonde waiting tables at the biker bar we went to a few months ago?”
“That’s the one,” I confirmed, handing her the platter as I reached for the warm bread my nephew Cole offered. “God, that smells good,” I said, inhaling deeply as the aroma of fresh-baked bread teased me. Ignoring the rest of the offerings, I slathered the bread with butter and took a huge bite. “Tastes even better than it smells.”
“I made an extra loaf,” Mac said, touching my arm. “Remind me to give it to you before you leave.”
I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “You are an angel.”
She laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re so easy, Nex. All it takes is baked goods to win you over. I want to hear more about this girl. What was her name again?”
“Jaci.”
“That’s right,” Mac said, smiling. “I remember that sweet Southern drawl of hers. Where’s she from?”
“Georgia.”
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