I shuddered to think of how many men Jade and my other friends had been with while I was busy working or studying. “I hear what you’re saying, I do. But I’m in a different situation than you are. I was in a relationship for so long, it’s nice just to be single, not to have to worry about checking in with anyone or compromising to make someone else happy.”
Jade stepped back, slapping her palm against her forehead. “You’re missing the whole point. Random hook ups are all about being anonymous. For that night, you get to be or do anyone you want without having to worry about what comes next. Come on, Jaci. You can’t tell me you don’t miss sex.”
I did miss it. A lot. “I’ll think about it. I promise.” Though I knew random hook ups would never be my thing no matter how hard she tried to sell them. I had to know and like someone before I crossed that line with them. I knew Nex. I liked him. Maybe Jade was right. He was the perfect candidate to take the edge off.
Just as she was about to continue, the cell phone on my bed rang. Scott. It was his birthday, and I’d sent him an e-card to let him know I was thinking about him. He was probably calling to thank me.
“I should get that.”
“What you should do is tell your ex to stop calling you so you can both get on with your lives.”
Jade had never been in a serious relationship, so she didn’t understand it wasn’t always easy to cut those final threads. “You hit the shower first, but save me some hot water,” I said, swiping my finger across the screen to connect the call before I lost it.
I waited until Jade was out of the room before I said, “Hey, Scott. Happy birthday.” Wishing each other a happy birthday had been a ritual of ours even while he was away at school and we weren’t a couple, so I saw no reason to end that tradition this year.
“Thanks. It’s so good to hear your voice.”
Uh-oh. The last few times I’d talked to him, his mood had been melancholy, making me wonder if he was doing as well with the breakup as he’d claimed. He told me he was putting himself out there and dating again, and I wanted to believe him since he deserved to be happy, but he wasn’t making it easy.
“Yeah, yours too. So what have you got planned for today? Are the boys taking you out to celebrate? Hot date, maybe?” I knew I was really and truly over Scott because I could ask that question without a twinge of jealousy.
“Dinner with my family, drinks with the guys,” he said, sounding as though he was talking about a root canal instead of a celebration with the people he loved.
“That sounds like fun,” I said, trying not to let his bad mood bring me down.
“How about you? What have you got going on tonight?”
“A party with my roommates.”
“I hate the thought of you living in a strange city, partying with people I’ve never even met.”
I sank down on the edge of the bed, knowing it was time for another one of our talks about moving on. “Scott, the whole reason I moved here was to meet new people and start over. I’m trying to do that. I think you should do the same.”
“You know how I feel about moving on.”
He felt it was pointless to try, since he was convinced we were going to be getting back together someday. “I would hate myself if I felt I’d led you on in any way, so I need to say this again…” I took a deep breath, wishing I didn’t have to have this conversation every other month. “It’s over. We’re not getting back together. I love you as a friend, nothing more. If you’re not okay with that, then we need to think about going our separate ways, which means no calls, no emails, no—”
“No!” He sighed. “I don’t mean to make this hard on you, Jaci. It’s just been one of those days. Birthdays, anniversaries, they bring back a lot of memories for me. I think about the way things used to be when we were happy, and I want that back.”
“You’ll have that again,” I said, wishing I could wave a magic wand and make him deliriously happy again. “With someone new.”
“I don’t want someone else. I want you.”
There was only one way for me to get through to him, and I’d sincerely hoped I’d never have to play this card. “Scott, I’ve met someone else.” God, I felt like the lowest form of life, telling him this today of all days, but I couldn’t let him go on wasting his time pining over me.
“What? When?”
“A few months ago.” I hadn’t even been on a date with Nex. We’d only shared a few kisses, yet I was trying to make him sound like the other man. “He’s a customer at the bar.”
“A biker?” he said, sounding disgusted. “You’re dating a biker?”
Scott was a straight-laced suit-and-tie who’d probably take one look at Nex, with his colorful tattoos and tricked-out motorcycle, and deem him suspect. “He’s not a biker. He does ride a custom motorcycle sometimes, but only because that’s his business.” It was ridiculous that I felt the need to defend Nex’s choice of transportation to my ex-boyfriend.
“So you’re dating a biker.”
“That’s not the point. The point is I’ve met someone who interests me, and I wanted you to know so hopefully you’ll see it’s really over.” After an agonizing minute of silence, I said, “I just want the best for you, Scott. We don’t work together anymore. We haven’t for a long time.”
“But you think this biker can make you happier than I did?”
I closed my eyes, flopping back on the bed. “It’s not about finding a man who makes me happy. It’s about figuring out how to be happy on my own.”
“If that’s true, then why are you dating?”
I knew Scott would prefer if I were living in a convent instead of a bustling city with an active nightlife. “I’m dating because once in a while, it’s nice to go out for dinner and have good conversation with an interesting person.”
“Have you slept with him yet?”
My eyes shot open, shocked by his audacity. “That is none of your business. I don’t ask you about your sex life, and I’d thank you not to ask about mine.”
“For years, I was your sex life!”
I couldn’t believe his tone. Scott had always been so laidback and easy-going. Now he sounded like an irrational freak on the verge of coming apart. “This isn’t getting us anywhere. I thought we could be friends since we remained cordial during our last breakup, but its obvious things are different now. I think we need to consider a clean break.”
“No!”
He was starting to worry me. I’d have to call my mama tomorrow and find out whether she’d heard any rumors circulating about Scott. Maybe he really was coming unglued. “Okay, calm down. Why don’t we just agree to take a little break, maybe lay off the calls, emails, and texts until school lets out. I really need to stay focused on school right now anyhow. I can’t afford any distractions.”
“Isn’t your new boyfriend a distraction?”
I should have known he’d circle back to Nex eventually. “I need to make this clear. This break has nothing to do with Nex. This is about you and me figuring out how to be apart. We’ve never really given ourselves time apart, and maybe that was unfair to you. I didn’t want to be mean, refusing to be your friend, but if this friendship has given you false hope, I’m truly sorry.”
“We belong together. You may not see that now, but you will eventually.”
There was a time I would have agreed with that statement, but if these months apart have taught me anything, it was that I was happier being single. “You’re wasting precious time on me. Go out and find someone who wants the same things out of life that you do.” Our town may be small, but Scott was considered a catch. It wouldn’t take him long to find someone if only he was willing to put himself out there again.
“You want the same things I do, Jaci. What about all the hours we spent planning our life together?” He chuckled. “Mrs. Rourke promised me she won’t sell the old house to anyone else. She’s saving it for us.”
We’d both fallen in love with an old Victorian that belonged to a wido
w. It was much too big for her, but she said she wouldn’t sell it to anyone. Apparently, Scott had convinced her we’d be buying it from her someday. “She shouldn’t do that. We won’t be buying that house. Not now, not ever.”
“How can you say that?” he asked, sounding more desperate. “You know you love that house. You said you wanted us to live there, to raise our kids there. It’s right across the street from the school, so they could come home for lunch and—”
“Scott, stop. Please don’t do this. I know we talked about those things. But it’s just not going to happen.” I felt terrible quashing his hope, but I’d feel even worse about myself if I let him go on believing in a future that would never come to pass. “I’m sorry.”
“You will be, Jaci. I promise you will be.”
Chapter Five
Nex
It was great to see my brother Brody again, but I couldn’t deny I was distracted. We were hanging out at my place since his date had bailed on him, and I couldn’t stay focused on the baseball game we were watching or the conversation.
“What’s up with you, little brother?” Brody asked, tossing a kernel of popcorn at me to get my attention. “You’ve been in and out all night.”
I glanced at my watch. Midnight. I knew it was too early for Jaci to call, but I couldn’t help wondering what she was up to. “Sorry, man, got a lot on my mind.” Hoping to take the focus off myself, I asked, “Who were you supposed to go out with tonight?”
“Riley.”
“You’re shittin’ me.” Riley had been his high school girlfriend, and we all thought he was going to go off the deep end when she dumped him after graduation. “Since when?”
He shrugged, staring straight ahead at the screen. “On and off for a while.”
I didn’t know whether I should tell him I’d run into Riley at a benefit last month. Her date was a doctor who was being honored for his groundbreaking research. “Uh, is it serious?”
“No, just a hookup. You know, whenever I’m in town.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Glad to hear that.”
He raised an eyebrow while looking at me out of the corner of his eye. “Why do you say that? I thought you liked Riley.”
“I do like her. She’s great. But I saw her with this guy last month and—”
“What guy?” He leaned forward, setting the popcorn bowl on the coffee table. “When? Where? Did you talk to her?”
Judging by the fact he was firing questions at me like missiles, I had to assume their arrangement wasn’t as casual as he claimed. “Some benefit,” I said, thinking of the best way to downplay the interaction. Only problem? The doctor had seemed really into her, and she hadn’t been the least bit uncomfortable crossing paths with me. She had to know I’d tell my brother once I found out they were seeing each other again, but she obviously didn’t care.
“For what?”
“Pediatrics wing of the hospital. We donated a bike for the silent auction, so Ryker asked me to go to represent.”
“What was he like?” Brody asked, sinking back into the cushions. “Did she seem happy?”
Damn, I’d had no idea, after so many years, my brother, the player, would still be carrying a torch for his old flame. “He’s a doctor,” I said, clearing my throat. “I don’t know if it was serious. She—”
“Of course it’s not serious, dumbass,” he said, scowling at me. “If it was, you think she’d still be hooking up with me?”
I didn’t want to point out that she had cancelled her date with him and her doctor friend might be the reason. I was pretty sure he’d already come to that conclusion on his own. “You guys ever talk about, you know, maybe getting back together?”
“Not an option.” He glared at the screen when the opposing team scored a run. “You know my schedule. I’m on the road more than I’m here. Riley would hate that. She’s a homebody.”
Yeah, and any man in his right mind would want to stay home with a body like that, but my brother’s penchant for high-stakes poker took him all over the world, competing for his next million. “Yeah, but while you’re out there, she’s back here hooking up with good-looking doctors who wouldn’t mind quiet nights at home with a girl like Riley.”
“Why are you bein’ a ballbreaker?”
“I’m just pointing out the obvious before it’s too late.” I knew it was my job as his brother to warn him if I saw danger headed his way, and judging by the way Riley’s doctor buddy had been looking at her, it could mean trouble for Brody. “How would you feel if she called you up tomorrow and told you she was getting married?”
Brody paled before clenching his fists. “She’s free to do whatever she wants. I don’t own her.”
“Maybe not, but you still love her. You’re still sharing her bed. Wouldn’t it kill you to know you’re not the only one?” Maybe it was the fact that I was thinking about the possibility of being exclusive with Jaci that had me wondering if Brody shouldn’t try to lock down the only girl he’d ever loved before he lost his chance.
“Riley’s not like that,” he said, staring at the screen. “She wouldn’t be hooking up with other guys while she’s sleeping with me.”
“Don’t be stupid,” I said, trying to get his attention. “How many times a year do you see her—six maybe?”
“I don’t know. What the hell’s it to you?”
Brody had a bad temper like the rest of us, but I was one of the few people unafraid to push him to the limit for his own good. “You really think a woman like Riley would be satisfied with that?” From what my brother had told me, she was a librarian by day and porn star in the bedroom. She liked sex just as much as he did, which was the one of the reasons Brody was still hooked on her after so many years.
“I’m done with this shit,” Brody said, jumping up. “I’m gonna hit the shower then go to bed.”
I would have tried to stop him, but Jaci picked that second to call, and since I was more concerned about my love life than Brody’s, I let him go.
“Hey, baby. You home?” I sat up straight when I heard her sobbing. “Jaci, honey? What’s wrong? Why’re you crying?”
“I don’t know where I am. They left me.”
My heart started thumping wildly as I imagined her drunk in some strange house with dozens of guys who’d like nothing more than to take advantage of her. “Who left you, sweetheart? Your girlfriends?”
She was sniffling when she said, “Yeah. They got a ride to another party with this guy in my economics class. I told them I had to go to the bathroom first, but they were so loaded they must have forgotten about me.”
“Okay, calm down, babe. We’ll figure this out. I’ll come get you.”
“I’m scared,” she whispered. “Some guy was all over me downstairs. He got really pissed when I told him to back off. That’s when I ran up here and locked myself in the bedroom. But what if he’s looking for me? He might come after me. There’s no lock on the door.”
I jumped up, grateful I hadn’t changed clothes when I got home, and slipped into my shoes and grabbed my keys. “Can you wedge a piece of furniture against the door?”
“I don’t know. I think the dresser’s too heavy for me to move.”
“Anything? A chair or nightstand, maybe?” I hated to think of her God knows where, under the influence and defenseless.
“I’ll try to move the nightstand.”
“I’ll wait.” I jumped into my classic Charger, thinking I’d have to fire a text off to Brody to let him know why I bailed on him.
“Okay.” Her voice was shaky when she said, “I feel better, but Nex, I just wanna go home.”
“I know, baby. Listen, go to Maps on your phone and check your current location.”
“I’m such an idiot,” she groaned. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
Maybe ’cause you’re drunk and scared? When I got a face-to-face with her supposed friends, I was gonna let them have it for leaving her high and dry. “Don’t worry. Just check the location on you
r phone and text me the address. I’m on my way.”
“Thanks, Nex.”
“No problem, sweetheart.” I waited in my driveway for her text since there was no point driving in the opposite direction. I just wanted to get to her as fast as I could before some drunk lowlife beat me to it.
While I was waiting, I texted Brody to let him know I had to pick up a friend who’d had too much to drink at a party and I’d see him in the morning. He was heading up to Ryker’s cottage early the next morning, but I hoped we’d have a chance to smooth things over before he left. I hated fighting with my brothers, especially Brody, who was on the road more than he was home.
I covered my mouth with my hand, feeling as though I could finally breathe when I got the text from Jaci, giving me her location. Punching it into my GPS, I was relieved to find it was only fifteen minutes away.
Be there in 15, I texted to her before I took off.
I turned up the pulse-pounding rock music to distract myself from the rage and fear coursing through me. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt more helpless or enraged. When I got that call, heard the fear and desperation in her voice, my only thought was of rescuing her. Then when I heard someone had tried to take advantage of her, I considered putting my fist through the wall but decided to save the sheet rock and pummel the guy who deserved it instead. I wasn’t leaving that house until Jaci pointed him out to me, then he’d better be prepared to beg for forgiveness, maybe even his life.
I’d grown up watching my old man hurt my mom, and I sure as hell wouldn’t stand by and let some dirtbag instill fear in someone I cared about.
It wasn’t hard to find the party. As soon as I turned onto the street, I saw cars lining the curbs on either side, while people spilled out onto the lawn of one house, dancing, drinking, laughing, and fighting.
Typical college party, the kind I wasn’t sorry to have left behind years ago.
I parked my car a safe distance away, knowing it would be a target for drunk kids who wanted to get a better look at the lovingly restored muscle car.
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