by Ali Parker
"You're not going to like what I have to say, and you're going to shut it down before I can get it out of my mouth, so no. I'm not telling you a damn thing about my thoughts this morning. My life is the same old shit all the time. I figured out a way to liven it up a little," I paused as she groaned loudly and pressed her palms to her eyes, "and keep myself safe doing it."
"You don't know the meaning of safe." She sat up. "Remember last summer when we were filming in the Bahamas and you went on that hang-gliding tour without checking into the company at all?"
"That was a fucking blast. You're just salty that you didn't come with me."
"No. I'm still pissed that you almost died, Ethan. This isn't just about your career. It's about your life."
"Which, by the way... sucks." I straightened my shoulders, not willing to back down. "Money and fame buy you one thing. You wanna know what it is?"
"Happiness?" She gave me a sheepish grin.
"Right. Try again. Loneliness."
"You're choosing that life because you refuse to trust anyone's intentions, Ethan. Not every woman is after your money or your man-beast." She glanced down at my lap. "Some of them might actually love you."
I snorted. "That's rich. They can't love me, Deza. They don't know me. They've watched me wear a million masks. Why am I the only one that gets this? Right, because it's my life."
"Tell me what you're thinking about doing, and I'll support it if I can."
"You don't. I promise." I moved toward the door as we pulled up to the hangar bay where the plane sat ready for us to take off.
"I will try. Just tell me. Trust me." She gripped my arm and softened me with the look on her face. She cared about me without a doubt, but part of that care was her overprotective side that drove me batty. I was a grown-ass man. I didn't need someone taping bubble-wrap around me every goddamn morning. It was getting old, and so was I - alone.
I got out of the car and walked to the back to pull out my luggage. The driver looked a little surprised when I refused his help and lugged the large suitcase out on my own.
"Ethan. Please?" She took her bag from me and walked on my left as we approached the plane. "Please."
"Fine." I turned to face her as we stood at the bottom of the stairs. The plane opened the door for us, and I lowered my voice just in case. "Riley and I were talking about how hard it is to travel and not have companionship. It's one thing to sleep with someone you know and take your chances, but to do it with a stranger in another country or some crazed-ass fan... it's just getting old, D. Okay?"
"What did you guys decide would work best?" Her face visibly paled.
I laughed. "Nope. See that right there. That look says that you're going to shut me down."
"Did you decide to be fuck buddies?" She gripped my arm and jerked me toward her. "That's not happening."
"We didn't decide anything. I offered and she failed to respond."
"Good for her. You know as well as I do that lust is a precursor to love."
"No, I don't know that story at all. Lust has been nothing but lust for me. Just another warm body to try and fuck only to end up miserable and alone." I pulled from her angrily. I shouldn't have said anything.
"I'm sorry you're going through some shit, Ethan, but this is a no go. It's not happening. Period."
I glanced up to find Riley standing in the doorway in a pair of short white shorts and a pink tank top. She looked good enough to eat.
"Morning. You guys okay?" She leaned over to look down at Deza. "What's a no go?"
"Nothing. Morning, beautiful." I moved past her into the plane and left her to talk with D. She could let the pretty bombshell know that my offer was void, not that she'd taken me up on it in the first place.
I wasn't that lucky...
Chapter 10
Riley
"What was that all about?" I moved back as Deza walked into the plane, looking less than thrilled to be there.
"Same old shit." She paused and seemed to force the smile that moved across her face. "How are you? Everything go okay with getting away for a few weeks? Your professors weren't assholes about it?"
"Most of them were good to me." I reached over and grabbed her bag as she tried to take it from me. I laughed and walked back to the small, but open space where a handful of leather chairs sat. "Morning, Ethan."
I lifted Deza's bag as he turned and took it from me. "How are you? Ready for us to get this show on the road? Nervous at all?"
"I'm excited. I've been waiting my whole life for something like this, but on a smaller scale." I moved back and dropped down in the seat closest to me.
"You're just going to have to jump from commercials to the big time. It's going to be an adjustment, but you'll love it." Deza sat down on my left and let out a sigh. "We'll be here to help you through it all."
"I'm going to call Frank to see what's taking the old goat so long," Ethan butted in and turned, walking to the front of the plane with a stiffness in his stride that didn't belong there. I prayed like hell that he wasn't pissy. A few wrong comments from him, and I'd be crawling in the pit with him.
Having to try and pinch pennies that morning with Charlotte to pay rent only to come up short had me wanting to lay down in the middle of a busy road.
"I appreciate your support. I think it's time I had a long talk with Darren though. I haven't released him yet, but it's probably better that I do if I'm going to be getting paid soon. He gets a cut of that, and he's honestly not done shit to deserve it." I reached down and buckled my seatbelt as my eyes moved up to covet Ethan's strong back and sexy rear as he hovered near the front of the plane.
The pilot walked out and they shook hands before he had Ethan sign something for his daughter.
"Let's just keep him on the payroll for now. I'll work as your agent, but we'll let him have the benefit of being listed as such. He's going through a hard time." Deza ran her fingers through her long hair. "I shouldn't help him out, but I'm not sure I have a choice."
"Why is that? You still love him?" I pulled my legs into the seat with me and shifted a little to give her my full attention.
"Yeah, I think I do." She shrugged and laid her head on her shoulder. "He's all I knew as a young girl, trying to make something out of myself. He helped me a lot in the beginning and loved me through some really tough stuff. I feel like I almost owe him something back in return."
"What happened to you guys?" It was none of my business and yet I couldn't help but dig a little. I wanted to help bring them back together if it meant both Darren and Deza could find love. It was a fleeting emotion for me, but like anyone with a beating heart, I wanted love to win somewhere in my world. Even if it wasn't directly connected to me.
"We were kids when we got married, and he honestly pulled me up out of a bad situation. I'd gotten into drugs and sleeping around, and his younger brother was my boyfriend at the time. Awkward, I know." She smiled.
"Wow. And was he into that stuff back then too?" I glanced up as the guys huddled at the front. Frank was standing near the cockpit with them, which was a good sign. I had to assume everyone else on the crew was taking a different flight, or was already out there, which wouldn't have surprised me much. There was a ton of work that went into setting up the scenes before we ever stepped foot on the sand.
"No, he graduated with his degree in criminal justice. He was going to be a cop." She let out a shaky sigh as her eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry. So many good memories."
"No, it's okay." I reached out and ran my hand over her arm, squeezing softly. "I love getting to know more about you guys."
"I just wish I'd made some different decisions back then. Once he got me cleaned up, we both found out that we had a love for drama. We would go to plays all the time, and one thing kept emerging that forged our future."
"What was that?" I released her, but leaned in a little.
"The actors in those small independent films were sometimes so much better than the ones in the A-list movies. It
was crazy. Getting noticed, as you know, is almost impossible. Darren and I fell in love with this one kid that played most of the lead roles in the community center back in Detroit where we were from, but couldn't catch a break. I don't know, we just came together... the three of us and figured it out. After that, Darren and I picked up and moved here to LA with the guy and started our careers as agents. He was with us until he died in a plane crash on the way to a set." She gave me a look. "Sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have-"
"No, it's fine." I awarded her with a warm smile. "I figure if this thing is going down, there isn't much I can do about it."
"True dat." She laughed. "Anyway, after that, I contracted another big name actor, and because of the hours we were spending together, I fell in love with him. He was good at what he did, if you know what I mean. Acting the part, that is." She glanced down as shame filled her face.
"It's easy to be fooled by someone that doesn't have skills. Someone that does? Impossible to get away unscathed, right?"
"Yes." She wiped at her eyes. "Anyway, I left Darren for him, and when that relationship fell apart a few weeks later, I decided I was working with females of any age or boys only from then on. No more seductive men for me."
She glanced up and smiled as Ethan walked toward us. "This turd was the first one they handed me, and seeing that he's still a kid... I'm safe."
Ethan sat down across the aisle from us and leaned forward to look at Deza. "You'll always be safe with me. Duh."
I chuckled and let myself relax a little more in the presence of the strangers who would soon become like family. I turned my face back toward Deza. "Did Darren not give you another chance?"
"What? You told Riley about you and Darren and you didn't tell me?" Ethan let out a childish sigh, and I chuckled, but kept my eyes on Deza.
"He was heartbroken, as he should have been. We couldn't even look at each other for four or five years, me from shame and him from anger." She shrugged. "Life became a competition after that for a while where we were going after the same performers. After a while, I backed off and mostly focused on Ethan."
"Smart move." Ethan leaned forward, and I turned to let my eyes run over his handsome face.
"I'd say so." I rolled my eyes and leaned back in my seat as the pilot came over the loud speaker and asked for his co-pilot to get in there and Frank to sit down.
I laughed and closed my eyes, letting out a soft sigh.
"You need me to hold your hand?" Ethan's voice was soft, but teasing.
"No," Deza barked and leaned forward as I opened my eyes to see what had gotten into her. "I'll hold her hand. Behave yourself."
I glanced between the two of them. "Something I should know about?"
Frank dropped down on the other side of Ethan and waved at me. "Morning, girls. You excited?"
Ethan shook his head and leaned back. "There's nothing to know. Deza promised to be open-minded about something I wanted to do, but as usual, she lied."
"I'm going to come over there and strangle your scrawny white ass if you don't stop." She leaned across me and swatted at him.
"Okay. Well, things are normal if nothing else." Frank smiled at me over the top of Ethan's head as he swatted at Deza's hand. "This is how they always act. You'll get used to it. They'll kiss and make up shortly. Gotta get the tension out from time to time."
"I see that." I swatted both of their hands away and crossed my arms over my chest as I closed my eyes.
"Did you say you quit your job?" Frank had to be talking to me.
I turned and opened my eyes, realizing that getting a nap was probably out. "Yeah. I quit before the party last week, though I shouldn't have."
"Why not?" Ethan snorted. "You couldn't have made much of anything. It was a waste."
"A waste that paid my bills. I've yet to get my advance on the movie and honestly don't know the timing of anything because my agent isn't really an agent." My tone had darkened a little thanks to the tension in the air.
"Then tell Deza to find out for you. You don't need to concern yourself with silly shit like a restaurant job or school, really. Why are you still trying to graduate? You've done what most people could only dream of doing." He lifted his hands dramatically.
How I could feel like I was falling off the cliff of love with him one minute and wanting to pick up rocks and stone him to death the next was confusing, but it was the truth. He looked so cute in his t-shirt and jeans when he'd walked onto the plane all puffed up. Now there was very little attractive about him as he acted flippantly about my life.
"It might be a matter of principle, Ethan." Frank leaned forward and winked at me. "I'm proud of you for wanting to graduate. It's been a long three years I bet."
"Yes, it has. I want to say I completed the journey. With it only a few months away, I plan to."
"Just don't let it get in the way of your performance. It's not worth that." Ethan crossed his arms over his chest and gave me a cocky look. Was he pissed at me or Deza? Sure felt like his directed aggression was being shifted from her to me.
"I'm aware of that, but being raised in poverty, saying that I have a college degree and knowing that I had to use scholarships to get there is a big deal. Some of us weren't raised on a silver spoon." I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it.
"Oh, fuck," Deza mumbled beside me.
Had I hit a nerve? Good. I hoped I would. He was being a cock to D and now to me. Frank was up next, no doubt.
Ethan's expression tightened, aging him quickly. Handsome didn't hold a candle to how good he looked in the moment. Something about the way he watched me in his anger unraveled my insides.
I got up from my seat as the plane took off and walked to the back, whispering, "Excuse me."
My hands shook as I pulled down a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet above the flight attendant’s work station. I'd filled up my glass halfway and was working to get ice in the cup when the delicious scent of Ethan's cologne wrapped around me.
"That wasn't fair." His voice was soft as he stood just behind me.
I turned and lifted my glass before taking a quick sip and groaning as it burned its way down my chest.
"Nope, nothing is fair in love and war, right?" I offered him a smile, but he didn't return it.
"I didn't come from a silver spoon. That's a shitty assumption to make." He took my glass, finished the liquor and took a step toward me. "You don't know anything about me. No one does."
"And that is because you refuse to share yourself." I poked my finger into his chest and moved around him. "Maybe you need to work on getting a bigger cock cup."
He snorted and glanced over his shoulder. "Always about my dick."
"I wasn't referring to your dick." I paused and glanced over my shoulder. "I was talking about something big enough to hide your personality when it goes from pleasant to shit in a moment’s notice."
Chapter 11
Ethan
She fell asleep a few minutes later as I sat in the seat next to her, steaming. I was so pissed at Deza for being an ass about me and Riley sharing ourselves with each other. Was it dangerous? Yes, but so was humping the next stranger I ran into when we got off the plane.
Why everyone had to complicate everything was beyond me.
Silver spoon. Anger burned through me, causing my skin to heat and a slight sheen of sweat to collect at my brow and above my lip. My parents hadn't been around enough for us to have spoons. It was a miracle that Liam and I not only made it out of our childhood alive, but that we made something of ourselves. We were nothing but tools to two money-hungry people with the hope of grandeur and more greed than anyone should have to bear.
"You okay? You're sweating." Frank pressed his shoulder to mine and watched me with concern.
"I'm good. Just not feeling too hot." I stood and smiled down at him. "Or maybe feeling too hot. Just a little fever I guess. I'll be okay."
"Let me know if you need me. Go splash your face with cold water." He gave me a fatherly smile and le
aned back in his seat.
I glanced over at the girls to find Riley still asleep, looking like an angel, and Deza staring out the window.
"Hey. I'm sorry." I reached over Riley and brushed my fingers down D's shoulder. "I'm just tense with all the shit going on. You know I suck at change."
"I'm sorry too. Love you." She reached out and gripped my hand, brushing her cheek by it. "You running a fever?"
She started to get up, but I motioned for her to stay still.
"I'm good. Just a little hot is all. I'll be all right. Stay there." I turned and walked toward the back of the plane as I forced my anger and hurt back into the tight box I kept them in. It was no one's fault that I'd suffered some crazy shit as a kid. I'd almost take it all again to keep the relationship Liam and I had forged out of the madness.
A shiver ran through me as I walked into the moderate-sized bathroom and turned on the cool water. After splashing water on my face several times, I dropped down on the toilet and let my head fall back.
Deza was right. Offering myself to Riley was fucking stupid, but it didn't matter much. The pretty girl hadn't taken me up on it, nor had she mentioned it again. She was too focused on keeping her old life intact and moving into a new one. I couldn't blame her. I'd not have diverged from the path to reach super-stardom for anything a few years back. Now it felt like a ball and chain most days.
"Hey. You okay?" Riley's voice was filled with concern as she knocked on the door.
"Yeah. Just feeling a little feverish." I reached up and unlocked the door.
She opened it and moved to stand in the opening. "You look like shit."
I chuckled and closed my eyes. "Awesome."
"Well, you look incredible, but your looking like shit is someone else's best day." The sound of the water starting brought an odd calm over me.
"I'm fine." I blinked slowly as my heart slowed down a little. I was fine until she moved to squat in front of me. She was too close, the scene was too intimate. I could almost hear the porn music cued in the backdrop of my thoughts.