Havard watched my hands, since I’d been gesturing with them when I spoke. “Let me touch your arms. It’s been so long since I’ve seen the sky. That you want these removed is a wonder to me.”
When I extended my arms, his hands gripped my wrists like shackles, dragging me into his body space. I panicked for a second, but muscled through for the sake of acting civilized. His grip was hot, like he’d just dipped his hands in fire. I squirmed with discomfort.
Watching Havard observe my arms as they glinted of their own volition was precious. He was dazzled by every movement, his lips parted at the macabre beauty.
“No,” he finally said. “No, I won’t remove the siren blood from your skin.”
“But you said—”
“These scars read like strength and power to your enemies. I’ll not strip you of that. I can reduce it, though, so it’s not such a bother to you.”
I hung my head. “Whatever you can do, I’d be grateful.”
Havard took my right arm, spat in his hand, murmured something in a language I didn’t understand and wiped his spit on my forearms. To my credit, I kept my cool, glancing at Jens with a “what the crap” face that he merely shrugged at.
“Dip your arms in te träd oil, and most of the stars will wash away now.”
“Really? Thanks. That’s a big help.”
He did not release my wrists, but held them shoulder-width apart, examining them and me as he spoke. “About your other requests. Curses are not easy to lift. I cannot just say words and make an entire nation cured. But there is a poison you can make. Whoever ingests it will have their curses removed.”
“Um, won’t a poison kill them all? Because I don’t want that.”
Havard shook his head. “No. This poison only attacks a curse, polluting the foreign element until it dies, not its carrier.”
“Okay. Cool. Will it take the wall down in my mind, so I can access my abilities?” I asked hopefully.
“No. Your wall is not a curse, little siren. It is a protection on you and those around you. This will remove the Fossegrim curse on whomever drinks it, and will also work on Prince Jamie to take away his birth curse.” He motioned to his white hair. “You’ll need to take a lock of my hair, and the hair of a cursed Fossegrimen – any will do. Under the red moon, dip them in the blood of a live siren. That would be your blood,” he said to me.
“How much blood?” Jens asked.
“Enough to fill a cup. The fresher the blood, the better. A drop of the mixture is enough to cure half the island.”
The wheels in my head were turning. “So if we put a few spoonfuls into a vat of Gar and serve it at a party, we’d cure the nation?”
Havard nodded. “Do you have a knife?”
Jens pulled one from his boot and handed it to Havard, who finally dropped my wrists and sawed off a thick coil of his hair for me. I wound it in a knot and, for lack of a better place, I shoved the hair into my pocket. “Thank you,” I said. “What about the laplanding bond? Can you fix that?”
“You can,” Havard informed me. “Was this blade forged in Elvage?” he asked Jens of the knife he still held.
“No, but this one was.” My beautiful boyfriend slid a second knife from his boot, and I loved him for the espionage of it all. He exchanged it with the other.
“Dipping a blade forged in Elvage into siren blood blesses it. Go to the Darklands and fill your bellies with långsam död berries. Then take that knife and cut an X into your skin over your heart. Then have your mate do the same. If you both wish the bond to be cut, it shall. Use caution, though. The berries are poisonous, so purge them from your bodies as quick as possible. Anything longer than a minute, and you’ll both be dead. It weakens the bond just enough for the blood and the blade to cut through it.”
I swallowed my nerves. “Thank you. That’s everything we need. I wish you could come with us to see how it all turns out. I think you’d be happy to see the Fossegrimen curse lifted. You’ll be changing a nation.”
Havard smiled at me, his pink lips opening slowly. “Your requests require payment.” He turned to Jens. “Yours needs my magic straight from me, so you’ll have to kiss me if you want the blessing of the strength you’ll need to protect her as you’d like.”
Jens paled. “I… What, now?”
I grinned like I’d just won the lottery, recalling that my mother had kissed Havard to receive the ability to wield a bit of his magic.
Havard inclined his head to Jens like a gentleman. “That’s how it works. If you want magic straight from the source, that’s how it’s given. Unless you’ve changed your mind?”
Jens glared at my coughed-over giggle, rolling back his shoulders and gearing up for a fight he looked like he’d rather run from. “For the record, this is how much I love you, Mox. So, you know, shut up about it when we get back up to the surface.”
I shook my head. “Not a chance. Pucker up, big daddy.”
Havard smiled at Jens’s discomfort and pulled him forward.
If you ever have the chance to watch your boyfriend kiss another dude, I’m not sure I recommend it. It was… weird.
The subsequent blast of light that filled Jens seconds after he pulled away was a thing of beauty, though. His skin glowed, his eye sockets lit like he had his own personal sun stuffed inside, and when his mouth opened, a burst of sunlight shot out from him.
That was when I realized Jens was in pain.
“What’s happening? What did you do?” I asked, lunging for Jens, who thrashed around as he howled in agony, writhing in the water.
Havard’s arms went around me, restraining me from even touching Jens. I panicked and screamed for Jens, and for Havard to release me. “Stop! Let me go! He needs me! What’s wrong with him? Jens!” Hearing the man I loved cry out as unseen forces tortured him tore my heart in two, knocking down the mental wall I’d put up to get some privacy from Jamie.
What’s happening? What’s wrong with Jens? I’m coming down to get you! Jamie cried, and I saw him in my mind’s eye drop into the water.
Havard pulled back my hair that floated around him and spoke into my ear. “His body is remaking itself. He has many injuries, and they must be healed. His muscles must rebuild so they’re fit for the task of protecting a domslut.”
“I’m not in that much danger!” I lied. “Stop this! He’s hurting! You’re hurting him!”
Jens! Jens! Brother, I’m coming!
Havard was unperturbed. “It’s what he asked for. Hopefully he won’t need to use any of his enhancements, but they’re there, all the same. He’ll be the best vakt that ever was. Skin tougher than arrows, speed fast as a horse, intuitive to your state alone, keener senses and a sharper mind. He’s the best gift I could give you.”
Despite the explanation, I struggled to get to Jens. “Jens! I’m here! It’s okay, baby! It’ll be over soon! Hang on!”
Havard marveled at my plight. “A domslut siren with no access to her magic who’s in love with her vakt and married to a Grimen? Strange times, indeed.”
“Help him!” I demanded, lunging toward Jens to no avail.
Havard watched me with a look that was confusion mixed with admiration. He waved his hand in the water, and Jens went limp. The tears let loose when Jens sank to the bottom of the river, his body resting in the muck. “He’s merely sleeping now. His body will continue rebuilding itself while he rests through the worst of it. Does that quell your fears?”
I slumped in Havard’s grip. “Yes. Thank you. I can’t stand it when he’s in pain. He’ll wake up and be okay?”
Havard looked affronted, his white eyebrows furrowed. “My work is never merely ‘okay’. He’ll be everything you’ll need to survive.”
I was shaken after watching Jens go through that horror. I didn’t protest at all when Havard turned me in his arms and hugged me, pressing his lips to a sensitive spot on my neck. I was suddenly very aware that he was naked, and gently pulled away. “Thank you. Can I take him up now?”
“After my payment, yes.”
I geared up for a kiss that Jamie screamed in my mind wasn’t worth it. I slammed my mental door in Jamie’s face and locked it tight. He’d never be able to find us in the dark of the murky abyss. “What do you need?”
Havard stared at the stars on my arms wistfully. “For all my magic, I cannot escape the darkness of these waters. My life is an endless sea of nothing, and before that, it was interrupted only by violent deaths – the kind you and your mother almost suffered.”
“Thank you for saving us,” I voiced again.
His words came out slow, like honey dripping over his pink lips. “If you’re to take my magic out of this river and use my wisdom to free yourself from the bond and others from their curse, I require one thing of you.”
My mouth went dry, despite the fact that I was underwater. “Yes?”
His aqua eyes met my hazel ones as he spoke clearly. “I want you to take that elfin blade and run it through my heart.”
Twenty.
The Life I Never Wanted
Whatever I’d been expecting him to say, it was not that. “What? No! What are you talking about? I’m not going to kill you! What kind of a person do you think I am?”
He tilted his head to the side and motioned to my arms. “You’re a domslut. I can sense your spirit here. You’ve killed before. You’ve killed much, in fact.” He sniffed the water around me. “Hundreds, possibly.”
My fists clenched in anger. “That was my mother inside of me. I didn’t want to electrocute those sirens. Do you think this is the life I wanted?”
“Regardless, this is the end of life I want. I would do it myself, but I fear entering the afterlife with the stigma of having taken my own life. It has to be you, little siren. Not many are brave enough to face the river depths. I don’t know when I’ll get this chance again.”
“I can’t. I’m not who you think I am. I’m not capable of murdering someone who’s done nothing wrong to me.”
Havard’s eyes glinted. “I could do a great many dark things to you, young girl. I’ve seen enough down here not to second-guess what I’d be capable of. If you want me to let you climb back to the surface, you’ll do this for me.”
I shook my head, but my defenses were weakening. There was no way I could get myself to the surface with Jens if Havard tried to keep us here. I would run out of oxygen at some point, and would drown easy enough on my own. “I hate you for making me do this,” I whispered. “I had dreams of who I was going to be. I was going to be a peacemaker. I had ideals. Goals. Undraland ate them all, and now you’re asking this of me. It’s cruel to make me carry this around. You’ll be at peace, but I’ll be at war.”
Havard was unmoved by my plea. “Then your Tom and you will die down here with your morals. It’s your choice.”
I kept my mental wall up so Jamie wouldn’t have to watch. It was a lengthy debate, but in the end, I knew I couldn’t make any decision that would end Jamie’s life for him, not now that he was so close to getting everything he ever wanted. Tears pricked my eyes that I was actually capable of such a dark crime. I was meant for the Partridge Family, not slasher movies.
I pursed my lips, and finally nodded, hating myself as my head bobbed. “Okay. If this is what you want, you can have it. But then I’m taking Jens to the surface, and we’re setting your magic in motion. Agreed?”
Havard exhaled a hundred years of mental torment, his eyelids fluttering shut for a moment of sheer relief. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you.” He handed me Jens’s knife. “Use the elfin blade. It’s from my homeland. Seems fitting.”
“How do I… Right now? I’ve never stabbed a person before. How do I make you not suffer through it?” I shook my head as tears birthed from me. “I hate that these are the conversations I’m having! I’m still young! I should be shoe shopping and complaining about dropped calls! This shouldn’t be my life!” I cried, holding the knife up like a serial killer, aiming it at his breast with a shaking hand.
He brought the tip of the blade to his chest and wedged it between two ribs. “Right through my heart, Lucy. I’ll help as much as I’m able, but you’ll have to finish the job.”
I nodded, bawling all over him. My chest felt tight. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry you had to live down here and see all this awful.”
He gave me an understanding smile and pulled me closer into a hug, his thumb stroking my lower back like he was coaxing a sad song from a harp. It seemed like all my songs were sad these days.
He leaned against a large rock so there would be resistance when I finally got the courage to drive the knife through. “It’s almost over. Do it, young one. Let me rest, and then go change the world.”
I readied myself, ensuring the mental door was still shut tight between Jamie and I, so he didn’t have to see this.
Havard kissed his thumb, and then brushed it over my forehead, a familiar tacky feeling dragging over the skin.
“What did you just do?” I stiffened, speaking through gritted teeth, though I knew the answer.
“It’s my arv.” Then his aqua eyes softened as he pushed my hair back from my face, the strands dancing gracefully in the water. “I have another gift for you. Perhaps my grandest blessing of all, reserved for the woman who’s setting me free from the torment of eternity.” He pressed his lips to my forehead and murmured too many foreign syllables for me to keep track of.
Then Havard did something maybe I should’ve been prepared for, but my squeak informed both of us I was not. Havard’s lips parted mine, confusing me more than anything. I knew he’d had to kiss Jens to give him some of his power, so I braced myself for something crazy.
Crazy, indeed. I felt a jolt of cold electricity from where our lips were connected and tried to pull away. Tried, but failed. Panic choked me when Havard held the back of my head, his eyes boring into mine as his lips remained firm on mine. I’d never kissed anyone with my eyes open, and the feeling was like being naked in a dream I couldn’t control. I tried to yank my head away, but Havard scolded me with his eyes as light from his stomach migrated up to his mouth. As his tongue stroked mine, the ball of icy light was fed to me much like a baby bird getting a worm from her mother.
Please tell me this is the sexiest visual you’ve ever had of two people kissing. I know, barf.
The light was cold, but felt like freshly pulled taffy as it slid down my throat and disappeared into my body. I wanted it out, but Havard sealed it inside of me with one final kiss before he pulled away with a look of pride at the good work of his hands. I knew this was a big thing, whatever just happened, but it was like the millionth time someone had given me an arv without even asking me what I wanted, and the billionth time I’d been kissed without permission. “Dude, not for nothing, but do that again, and you’ll find yourself on the business end of my fist. If you’re going to adopt me and then kiss me, a conversation would be nice.”
When he gazed lovingly into my eyes, he looked tired, like he’d just put some of his energy or something inside my body. The light in his belly was at half-power, which felt like a bad omen. “You’ll be my last kiss, and that was the most power I’ve ever sacrificed. Part of me will live on through my viktigast död sköld that’s now in you.”
“Awesome,” I deadpanned. I vowed to make up a language that made sense to nobody, and speak in it as often as possible. It would grant me the freedom to walk up to someone I didn’t like, trip them, and blame it on some ancient blessing so they’d thank me afterwards.
Then something began popping and sizzling through my veins like carbonation, making me jerk like I’d just gotten too many body chills in a row. Then the incoming surge grew weighted, filling my body with what seemed like a slow-moving oil before returning back to normal.
My words came out like thick molasses. I was careful as I tested the strength of my fingers to make sure I was me again. “I’ve had an arv given to me before, but it didn’t feel like that. What did you just do?”
&nb
sp; “You have my arv, plus a viktigast död sköld. My protection on you. If there’s anything left of my estate, take it. My mark will offer you strength when you most need it.” He sniffed near my cheek before nodding with certainty. “I can sense the other elfin arv in you.”
“Alrik? My uncle gave me his mark. Do you see him in my aura or something? Is his spirit in me, like my mom’s?” I wasn’t sure if I was hopeful or just plain curious.
Havard kissed my cheek. “No, beautiful girl. But I can see his protection on you was used not too long ago. You were near death, and his blessing on you kept you from that fate.”
My mouth dropped open. I had been almost dead. I’d seen a flash of my Uncle Rick’s face just before the final electro-torture had started. The sirens had nearly killed me with their cruel experiments. That my uncle, in some bizarre way, had come to me in my hour of need touched a long closed-off part of me.
In that moment deep under the surface of the river, I decided to release my hold on the grudge I’d been harboring against Uncle Rick for letting me go through all of it. I wanted to remember him as the man who gave me green Skittles and pretended my stupid jokes were funny.
Havard traced my face with his pale fingers. “The arvs give you some security when you’re at death’s door, but my viktigast död sköld will make it so you won’t get quite so near death next time.” He rubbed his chest. “It cost me a portion of my spirit, more than a mere echo, so you must kill me now. I won’t live with half myself to last me an eternity.” He shuddered at the thought.
My mind was swirling with too much information. “I… You just gave me… But you don’t even know me! What if I was a mean person or a bank robber or something?”
Havard grinned at me, despite the fatigue I could see starting to set in around the edges of his eyes and his smile. “I know your quality. That you asked me for favors for everyone besides yourself shows the woman you are. Take my viktigast död sköld and live a life free of the fear I can see has haunted you.” When his gaze held mine, I can’t explain it any better than to say that it felt like he kissed me with the tenderness of his stare. “One of us should be free,” he ruled.
Lucy at Last Page 11