by Alex Coleman
“Is he still mad about cars?”
“Oh, yeah. I think he always will be.” “And how’s his health? I’m dying to know.”
The word “dying” had been poorly-chosen. Tony didn’t seem to notice.
“Good, good. Not a bother on him.” “That’s fantastic,” I said. “I’m delighted.” We smiled at each other, briefly.
Then Tony turned business-like. “I don’t mean to be rude,” he said, “but I’m really under pressure. You said you had two questions?”
I was a little taken aback. We hadn’t even done the “How’s work?” bit. He really didn’t want to be there. That was fair enough, I thought. I could only imagine how I would have reacted if he’d shown up at First Premier.
“Okay,” I said. “If we had time, I’d lead into this more gently. But since we haven’t …”
He went for his coffee and took a fortifying mouthful, as if it was brandy. “Yes?”
“Don’t get alarmed now.” “What is it?”
“I don’t want you to have a fit or run off in –” “Jackie. What is it?”
“I want to ask your permission. To tell Gerry. About us.” He sucked air through his nose. His fingers went rigid.
“Are you nuts?” he whispered, leaning in. “No. No! Absolutely not. No way. No.”
“Why not?”
“Why not? Because he’ll fucking kill me, that’s why not. Have you seen the size of him?”
“He won’t kill you, Tony. I promise.” “Oh, you promise, oh, well then!”
“I know he won’t kill you because he’s in no position to. He’s just done it himself. Been unfaithful.”
This seemed to have an effect. The panic-stricken look slid off his face for a second – but then reappeared, good as new.
“That’s awful,” he said, still whispering. “I’m sorry for you, I really am. But the answer’s still no. Why, for God’s sake? Why would you want to tell him?”
I told the truth. “I’m going to be having a long and serious talk with him and I want it to be 100 per cent honest. This has to be part of it.”
“No, Jackie. No, it doesn’t. You can be as honest as you want about anything else, but not that. It’s not necessary. What’s done is done. Leave it alone. I’m with someone now –”
“Oh! I’m glad.”
“– and I don’t want anything to interfere with that.” “What’s her name?”
“Patricia.”
“And how did you two meet?”
“Why do you … Wine-appreciation. I’m doing a wine- appreciation course.”
“Really? I know someone in Dublin who got fixed up doing a cookery course. The two things seem to go together.”
His nostrils flared. “I really don’t have time for this. You can’t tell Gerry. Absolutely not. Now what’s your other question?”
I realised then that he wasn’t just panicked; he was angry. Maybe I reminded him of bad times with Jonathon. Or maybe he regretted that afternoon as much as I did. Either way, his past had come calling and he didn’t like it one little bit. I tried not to let his reaction annoy me. “Okay, Tony. Okay. When you and I … I never know what to call it. What do you call it, in your head?”
“Sex,” he said bluntly. “We had sex. Once.”
I took a little sip of coffee to give my mouth something to do. “When you and I had sex, once, I was all over the place. Mentally. I’ve been wondering how … Well. I’ve been … My second question, Tony, is this: with you and me … who started it?”
His mouth fell open. “You drove from Dublin to ask me that?”
“Yes. That and the other one.”
“Have you lost your memory or something?” “No. I want to hear your version of events.”
“Version of events, Jesus!” He leaned closer still. “What are you getting at? Are you accusing me –”
“I’m not accusing you of anything, Tony,” I cut in before he gathered further steam. “The whole thing was entirely consensual. I just want to know who started it, that’s all.”
He pouted like a four-year-old. “I don’t understand what difference it could possibly –”
“Tony, please, it –”
“I did, all right? I started it. Is that what you wanted to hear?” I’d thought it was, actually. I’d thought I wanted confirmation that he’d started it with me, just as Lisa had started it with Gerry. I’d thought it would make me feel better. But now I realised in an instant that it didn’t matter who had started it. I’d gone along with it. I was every bit as guilty as I’d always imagined I was.
Tony glared at me, awaiting my response. “Well?”
“It turns out,” I said slowly, as if chewing the words, “that it doesn’t matter.”
This statement was too much for him. He stood up and straightened his jacket. “I have to go now,” he said. “It was nice to see you again.”
I smiled up at him. “I have a niggling feeling that you don’t mean that.”
“Goodbye, Jackie.” He took a step towards the door. “Tony?”
He stopped and turned. “What is it now?”
“They weren’t really two questions. The second one was a question. The first one was … a courtesy. I’m telling Gerry.”
He fumed at me in silence for a few seconds then stormed off, muttering something. I didn’t quite catch it, which was probably for the best.
I watched him go past the shop window and turned my attention back to my drink. Piercings and all aside, they did a very nice latte.
CHAPTER 29
I took my time on the way back to Dublin, stopping in Athlone for a late lunch. While I was there, I made two additional calls. The first was at a newsagent, where I bought my final packet of cigarettes. I performed the same ritual that I’d used the last time I’d quit forever. Standing over a rubbish bin, I gave a little speech, telling the fags that we’d had some good times, but it was over between us; it wasn’t them, it was me. Then I dropped them, unopened, in among the chocolate wrappers and apple cores. My second stop was at Dunnes Stores. I spent longer in there than I meant to but was happy with my small purchase.
According to the clock in the car, it was five precisely when I turned off the engine in the First Premier car park. I rang Eddie on his mobile and asked him to come down and meet me. He said he wasn’t sure, he had a lot of data to enter. I didn’t realise that he was joking; he had to tell me. Five minutes later, he appeared, looking slightly nervous. I waved to him from the bonnet of the car, where I had taken a seat. “Hello, Jackie,” he said, sitting down next to me. “Sorry – do you mind?”
“Of course not. How are you, Eddie?”
“Oh, I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about. Are you … fine?”
“Yeah. I am. So – full circle.” “Uh. I don’t –”
“The car park. This is where we got started, you and me.” “Oh! Right. Yes.”
“Not even a week ago.”
“I know. Imagine. It’s been eventful.” “You can say that again.”
He scratched the end of his nose. “About last night, Robert and the DVD. I’m sorry if –”
“No need to be sorry. I’m glad you said what you did.” “Was I right?”
“Yup.”
“Sorry”.
“And I want to thank you.” I put my hand on his and squeezed. For a moment, I thought he was going to die of embarrassment. Then he smiled and squeezed back. “I feel terrible,” I said then. “I ran out of your house last night and didn’t even find out how it went with Margaret. So …?”
His smile broadened to epic proportions. “It went well.
Very well.”
“Great. So you stayed tragic and mysterious?” “Yeah. She loved it.”
“I’m delighted, Eddie. Delighted.”
“But I’m going to come clean soon. Next time I see her, in fact. It’s not me – lying like that.”
“No,” I agreed. “Lying isn’t easy. Well, it’s easy enough to start – but it’s hard to kee
p up.”
“Yeah. Y’know, the whole thing would never have happened if it hadn’t been for you. Me and Margaret, I mean.”
“Ah, now …” “It’s the truth.”
“So we’re mutually grateful. Good for us.”
“Exactly. And, y’know … I’ve made a bit of progress.” “Have you now?”
“Yup. I mean, you know, one thing at a time. But she has the lips wore off me.”
I felt the happiness coming off him in waves. “You must be so chuffed …”
“I feel fucking brilliant!” he declared.
I’d never heard him swear before. It felt like a little treat. This, I decided, was a good place to end the conversation.
“OK, Eddie,” I said. “I’m going to scoot.”
“Yeah, I should get back up there. Will I see you on Monday?”
“I’ll be here.”
I declined to add a detail – that I’d be handing in my notice. “See you then,” he said.
I held up my hand. “Wait! I nearly forgot.” I slid off the bonnet and went round to open the door on the passenger side. When I handed Eddie the Dunnes Stores bag, he looked at it as if might bite him.
“What’s this?”
“Little present,” I told him.
He reached in and withdrew the tie that I had spent twenty minutes choosing.
“Should be an exact match,” I said. “Or as near as makes no difference.”
He held it up against his own and confirmed that they were indistinguishable.
“One to change the other,” I said. “Always good to have a spare.”
Eddie nodded his thanks and turned away. God bless him, I think he was getting choked up.
* * *
I hadn’t intended to call on Lisa right away, but when I saw her paint-spattered car outside the house, I decided I might as well talk to her now. In Tony’s time, the sound of the doorbell had been a long, low buzz. It was different now, a classic ding-dong. There was no answer to my first ring. The door opened on the dong of my second. Lisa was still in her work gear, a beautiful black trouser-suit over a crisp red shirt. She looked, as they say, a million dollars. I knew that I looked about a hundred and fifty, but I didn’t give a damn.
“Hello,” I said as she half-closed the door again, a barrier, I presumed against physical assault. “I’ve been away for a week, but I’m back now. I just wanted to drop by and let you know that you mean absolutely nothing to me, so you don’t have to worry about being axe-murdered or anything. I understand that you’re moving out soon?”
This was all too sudden for her, and too strange. I could see it in her eyes; they didn’t seem to be under her voluntary control.
“Yes,” she said quietly. “Just over a month from now.” “Good. Moving in with your boyfriend, is that it?” She nodded. I nodded back. “Marriage on the cards?” She looked at her feet. “Maybe.”
“He probably thinks he’s a lucky man. And I suppose he is, in some ways. In others, not so much, wouldn’t you say?”
She didn’t reply. I wouldn’t have either.
“You’re not going to let him sue my son, are you?” “It’s not up to –”
“Because if you do, it’ll all have to come out, won’t it? The reason why Robert stopped at your table in the first place. I presume you told him – what – old boyfriend?”
Again, she didn’t reply, but her expression gave her away. “Thought so,” I said. “That lie wouldn’t last long once the lawyers got involved. But, I don’t know, maybe you’re thinking of toughing it out. I’d say you’ve a neck on you for anything. Just to be on the safe side, take a note of this: if Robert gets as much as a solicitor’s letter, I won’t think twice about telling Michael – that’s his name, isn’t it? – about telling Michael the full story. Won’t take me half an hour to track him down. Do you understand?”
She tossed her hair back, trying to compose herself. “Yes.” “Same goes for my daughter. She never hears from you about your car or your window. That remains an unsolved mystery. Correct?”
“Yes. Correct. I told Michael but I said I didn’t know –” “Good. OK, then. That’s all I have to say. See ya.”
I walked away. Her door still hadn’t closed when I put the key in mine.
CHAPTER 30
Gerry had come back to the house at some point. I knew that because the Cross-eyed Busker had been cleared away. The kitchen bin hadn’t been emptied, but that was a different kind of mess.
I sat on the sofa in the front room and, one last time, ran through what I was going to say. It boiled down to this: there was no excuse for infidelity. Maybe he’d done it because he was going through some private crisis of his own. Maybe he’d done it to prove a point to himself. Maybe he’d done it because she was gorgeous and he just couldn’t resist. I didn’t particularly care; I was going to give him hell all over again. Then I was going to tell him that I’d forgive him if he’d forgive me.
Things seemed clearer now, clearer than they’d been for years. I’d always felt that I had coped well with my parents’ deaths; as well as could be expected, at any rate. Now I saw that I had simply looked the other way – to a job I couldn’t stand and, briefly, a man I hardly knew. I’d been so busy looking the other way, in fact, that I had allowed my relationships with my son and sister to fall apart for want of a little common sense.
The question now was: what next? I would have a lot of free time on my hands and that would be nice, for a while. I had my restored relationships to explore, for a start. I could take up new hobbies. I could travel. But in the long-term, I would need something else. And I thought I knew what it might be: I could start a little business. The idea was not yet fully formed in my mind, but I had the gist. Cookery lessons for lonely hearts; learn a new skill and maybe meet that special someone while you’re doing it. Students could be paired up, male and female, swapping partners each week. There would be dating show-style games and quizzes along the way, and plenty of wine to loosen tongues. I could start small – in my own kitchen, if necessary – and see how it went. If it took off, somewhere down the line I could hire proper facilities. I might even need an assistant; a certain pink apron sprang to mind. The more I thought about it, the more excited I became.
Gerry’s key turned in the door at twenty past six. He’s a good man, I reminded myself. A good man who did a stupid thing. But we’re none of us perfect. I sat up straight and practised my opening line aloud, but ever so softly.
“First of all,” I whispered, “this sofa’s got to go.”
THE END
Also By Alex Coleman
Holly Christmas is a twenty-eight year old teacher who shares a small house in Dublin with her cat, Claude. She has always seen herself as a refreshingly honest individual who doesn’t suffer fools gladly.
When her current boyfriend tells her that it’s over between them, he goes to some lengths to point out that the fault is entirely hers. Holly tries to laugh it off, but when she gets back to her lonely little house, she begins to think … She’s heard this sort of thing from men before. Where she sees refreshing honesty, they tend to see shocking bluntness. Could this be the real reason why her love life is such a disaster?
When the school term begins, Holly’s finds that she has a new colleague, James. He’s a relentlessly cheerful, affable people-person. In short, he's everything that Holly is not. At first, she is merely intrigued by him. How does he do it? But intrigue quickly turns to attraction. And problems …
Read Little Black Everything Now
Did you enjoy
The Bright Side By Alex Coleman?
If so, Please consider leaving a short review on Amazon to tell us what you thought.
Thank You
Find More Poolbeg Titles
Available on Kindle
Table of Contents
(Untitled)
Note on the Author
Acknowledgements
(Untitled)
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
CHAPTER 26
CHAPTER 27
CHAPTER 28
CHAPTER 29
CHAPTER 30
Also By Alex Coleman