by J. R. Tate
“Bite me,” Michael shot back, not even missing a beat. Turning back to Carlson, he asked again, “So, I’m guessing from the stupid look on your face that you are absolutely clueless.”
“I uhh…” Carlson ran his hand down the back of his neck, his cheeks turning a bright red from being put on the spot.
“Damn probie, you’re making this too easy. Follow me.” He walked back into the kitchen, going directly toward the coffee maker. “Two things you must always remember in this firehouse. Don’t speak to me until I’ve had at least one cup of coffee and two, the paper is mine first. I don’t like it all crinkled up and out of order. Once I’m done it’s up for grabs. Pretty simple, right?”
Carlson nodded as his eyes went from the coffee pot and back to Michael, appearing like this was a huge test he had to study for. “Yes sir, pretty simple.”
“You’d be surprised how many probie’s come through and forget.” Michael clapped his palm on Carlson’s back and walked off.
Gregg watched as McGinnis went back to the beds and waited until he was out of earshot. “Mikey’s not a complete ass. It’s just how we do things here. Probie’s get the brunt of all the bullshit and grunt work. We just reciprocate the favor after all of the hell we were put through when we were in the same shoes you’re in right now.”
Carlson swallowed hard, eyeing where McGinnis once stood. “They warned us about it in the fire academy, but I guess you can never be fully prepared for the real thing.”
“Kinda like fires. They can run you through every scenario imaginable but when you’re in the belly of the beast is when you really find out if you’re made for this job or not. Lots of probies drop out quickly.” Gregg paused and made sure Michael wasn’t coming back around. “Not only do you need to know what every man is particular about around here, but you need to know who you want right by your side. Every man in this damn firehouse will stand by his brothers, but Mikey, I tell you what…” He shook his head. “I haven’t worked with him much myself, but he’s a guy you want on your side in every situation. He comes off as a hard ass at times, but he’s got the biggest heart of anyone in the FDNY. You listen to every piece of advice he has to offer. You take advice from any of these guys. It’s better than anything you learned in the academy by far.”
***
“So you and Mikey finally got engaged?”
Eva stared out of the window of the coffee shop, watching as the rain fell hard on the sidewalk. Umbrellas popped up out of nowhere, as if people magically made them appear. She didn’t even know rain was in the forecast. She was so preoccupied with Mikey going back to work and the engagement that the rest of her world had been on pause.
“Yeah, finally. I suspected it was coming, but it still caught me off guard.” She sipped on her latte, savoring the warmth of the frothy beverage. She decided to meet up with Janet, an old friend from paramedic school for some long overdue girl talk.
“Where is he tonight?” Janet asked, her gaze following where Eva had been staring.
“He’s working a little late. Covering for a guy who is late for his night shift. Poor guy is bored. Said they’ve had nothing but crap calls pretty much all day.”
There was hesitation on Janet’s face.
“What, Janet? Spit it out. I can tell you want to say something.”
“His past doesn’t worry you?”
Eva had forgotten how much she had told Janet about their relationship. They always went months without talking, but when they got together it was an information overload for both of them. “Are you talking about the drinking?”
Janet shook her head yes and wiped her mouth clean with a napkin. “Isn’t he a pretty bad alcoholic?” She ran her fingers over the lid of her drink like she was ashamed to ask.
Eva tried to keep her cool. It was a good question, but one she didn’t want to think too hard on. She had seen Mikey overcome it. She had also seen him relapse. But she knew the man he was and the man he was becoming.
“He’s in recovery. He’s been sober for quite a while. I think about it, don’t get me wrong, but he’s the man I’ve fallen in love with. We all have our faults. He’s a good man.”
“Sometimes love is enough. It overcomes all obstacles," Janet replied.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right…” Eva trailed off, her mind running a mile a minute. Janet’s words hovered over her. Love was important. Both Mikey and she came with so much baggage – him with his addictions and most of all, the dangerous job they both went to everyday. It was a doubt she had carried with her from the moment she felt more than just friendship with him.
“I’m sure the sex is amazing,” Janet winked as she sipped her drink, a loud laugh escaping her lips.
Her friend’s blunt statement shocked Eva, and she wasn’t sure how to respond. It was nothing new. Over time, that’s how they got, but it struck a nerve with her. “You sure you don’t have some vodka in that coffee?”
“Oh, c’mon Eva! You’re no prude! You used to never have any problem sharing stories about your sex life. Why all the sudden are you blushing and acting like some school girl virgin, cause honey, you and I both know damn well you’re far from that.”
Eva shook her head. “Since we’re on the subject, how are you and this new fling of yours? It go any farther than just hopping in to bed?”
“Oh no, hon, we’re talking about you. A guy as hot as Mikey has gotta be awesome between the sheets too, no?” Janet cocked her head to the side, and Eva wanted to slap her, but at the same time, it was nice to talk freely. She had no idea why she was being so bashful about the subject. Maybe it was love. Other men she had been with never made her clam up about how things were behind closed doors.
“Alright, I guess I better answer you or you’ll never shut up.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and swallowed the last bit of coffee in her mug. “Yes, of course he’s great. If you want details, you’re not getting them. Let’s just say, it’s the best ever, okay?”
Janet smirked. “Oh yeah, you’re head over heels over this boy. You’re blushing.” She pointed her index finger at Eva. “I’m truly happy for you! It’s written all over your face.”
“Thanks,” Eva replied. “I’m truly happy, too.”
***
Michael was glad to see his apartment at the top of the stairs. His duffel bag was heavier on his shoulder than usual, and his feet dragged behind him. He wasn’t sure what he was thinking when he agreed to take extra hours during his first tour back. His recent injuries from the Texas fires felt like they were flaring up and a long and hot shower sounded amazing. It was a little after ten PM when he finally walked through the door, tossing his duffel bag to the side and ripping his jacket off.
“Eva?” He looked around the corner into the kitchen, but all of the lights were off. Trekking down the hallway, he realized she wasn’t home. Pulling out his phone, he dialed her number and leaned back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as the line rang.
“Hey Mikey!”
“Hey, babe. Just got home. Where are you?”
“Just finishing up here at the coffee shop with Janet. I’ll be home in about ten. You still gonna be awake when I get there?”
Rolling on his side, he buried his face into the sheets on her side of the bed, taking in her refreshing scent that lingered in the fibers of the fabric. Michael closed his eyes and stretched his legs out. “I can’t guarantee anything, babe.”
“Well, I’ve got a surprise for you if you’re awake when I get there.”
His smile grew into a grin, and he rolled over, facing the ceiling again. “I guess I better fight through this exhaustion then.”
“Okay, hon, I’m gonna get off of here and tell Janet bye.”
He tossed the phone to his nightstand and kicked his shoes off. He was now even too lazy to climb into the shower. He wanted hard to stay awake and see Eva and what her surprise might be, but his imagination pretty much knew what she had in mind. Dozing, he felt his body relax complete
ly into the mattress, his body heavy against the soft covers and pillows.
“Mikey?” A bright light crept into his vision, like a nail to his forehead. “Guess you don’t want your surprise.” Eva’s legs straddled either side of him, her body above him. Her hair draped all around him, and he breathed her in. Small kisses trailed his cheeks and down his neck, pausing at his collar bone where she paid most of her attention.
He let out a low moan. “Damn it…” He trailed off, his hand cupping the back of her head. Michael wanted this, but he had zero energy. Enjoying her passionate embrace a few more seconds, he batted her hand away as it trailed down his chest and to the button on his pants. His fingers intertwined with hers and he brought it up to his mouth, kissing the back of her hand.
“What’s wrong, Mikey?”
Leaning forward, he kissing her on the lips. “It’s been a hell of a day…” he trailed off when she went back to kissing his neck. “Eva, please…”
She pushed herself off of him and sat beside him on the bed, brushing her hair out of her face. “You okay?” Arching an eyebrow, she ran her fingers through the front of his hair.
“Yeah, I’m good. I just don’t think I have the energy to… you know…” he motioned his hands in front of him.
She lay down, nestling under his arm. “How was your first day back?”
“Boring at first. Busy toward the end. Ready to do it all again tomorrow. How was yours?”
He felt her shrug and hoped he didn’t disappoint her. “As normal as could be.” Her hand rested at his belly button, her fingers trailing over his skin.
“You know just what buttons to push, don’t you?”
“You make it too easy.”
Laughing, he leaned in to her touch. “No means no, Miss Crisante.”
“Is that right?” Her beautiful smile made Michael’s heart skip a beat. He never thought it would be possible to love her more than the minute before, but with each second that passed he proved himself wrong. So many women had come into his life, but she was the only one who could melt his heart with just a simple smile. Screw being tired. He had waited too long for this. There was no looking back.
Chapter Four
Casey stared out of the front window of the sober living facility he had checked in to after rehab. He had mixed emotions about staying in Texas, but knew for everyone, himself included, it was probably the best decision he could make about his recovery. He made new friends there, friends that set the same goals as he had. If he had gone back to New York with Mikey, he would have been exposed to the same crowd that he hung out with before he got clean. He sometimes wondered how his older brother was able to go back and remain sober. He was certain Eva had a huge hand to play in it, and while he was glad of his brother’s engagement, a part of him was also jealous.
Folding his arms over his chest, he felt the heat on the window. At eight AM. It was time for fall to come around and the temperatures were still blazing. At least the wildfire season was coming to an end and most of the departments were getting everything under control. After witnessing everything the men and women had gone through, he told himself he’d consider joining a volunteer department if he had completely decided to put roots down. It was a big decision, and something he pondered more often than not. Mikey had even mentioned that it would be good for him and allow him a sense of worth. Waking up knowing he had a purpose would be good for him. He liked the thought of the idea.
“You headed to work?” One of the counselors popped their head out of their office.
“Yep. Leaving here in a sec.” He had obtained a part time job at a grocery store. It didn’t pay much and he didn’t get as many hours as he would like, but it gave him a steady paycheck to help with making ends meet.
“Transportation on their way?”
Casey nodded and stared out the window. One thing he did miss about life outside of the rehab facility was his freedom. In New York he could just walk where he needed to go. Down in Austin if he needed to go somewhere, he had to wait on transportation from a driver that worked there, or walk, and in the heat of the day and the far distances between things, it was frowned upon.
He feared relapsing more than anything else. He had regained trust with Mikey. It was a feat that seemed almost impossible just a few short months ago. A relapse would only mean that the trust would be ripped away, never to be felt again. With his older brother beginning a family, losing contact with him would be even more painful than all of the times before. He wondered if he’d ever be able to go back up to New York. Would he ever get to visit Mikey and Eva in their home? Would he get to see his nieces or nephews if they decided to have children? It made his stomach churn at the thought that he’d be weird Uncle Casey, a family member they rarely saw except for when they were able to visit wherever he decided to put roots down. That is, if he could stay sober. Every day seemed like a bigger challenge than the day before, and he couldn’t help but think that the rehab stint he was in was just prolonging the inevitable. When it came down to it, he was weak. He craved it constantly. The only thing saving him was the life within the walls of the facility. Out in the real world, he felt as helpless as the day he decided to go to treatment.
“Casey, your car is out front. Better get a move on or you’re gonna be late.”
“Thanks.” He forced his legs to move forward, fighting the sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. When he let the negative thoughts take over his mind, he went to an emergency session with a counselor. Right now, it was out of the question. He couldn’t call in to work – he was too new and didn’t want to lose the job.
Giving a small wave to the driver, he clicked his seatbelt and leaned his head against the window beside him, eyeing the road as they drove toward his destination. If he couldn’t get in to a counselor when he was done with his shift, he’d call Mikey. He didn’t want him to worry, but for some reason his brother always knew what to say. Since they were kids, he was always the best person to talk to when shit got heavy.
“Looks like it might rain,” the driver said over his shoulder.
“Yes sir. We sure do need it.” Casey fought through the small talk, thankful that the silence was broken. Swallowing hard, he put on his game face. The real world was a tough place, but he had to rise above it all. Cravings were just cravings. Having a relationship with his family was priority.
***
“Hey Mikey, we’ll be out early enough to catch a Mets game tonight. They have a late game with the Cubs. What do you say?” Gregg asked as they finished up a secondary search on a vacant warehouse fire that turned out to be a quick extinguish.
Ducking back from some soot that fell around them, Michael adjusted his hat. “I gotta make sure Eva doesn’t have anything planned.” Eva would definitely be fine with it, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to spend nine innings with a guy he didn’t know that well. He was more Eva’s friend than his.
“You serious?” Gregg arched his eyebrow and kicked through some sludge. “You gotta loosen the leash, man. You have plenty of years ahead of you where she’ll tell you what to do. You’re not married yet.”
Michael let out a sarcastic laugh. “This, coming from a guy who’s been divorced, or so I’ve heard.”
“Who told you that?”
“You kidding me?” Michael asked as they made their way back out to the street. The fresh air was refreshing after breathing in the remnants of smoke that lingered after the blaze. “Take away the testosterone and all of the firehouses in this city are damn slumber parties. I know more than you think.”
“Eva can come too. It’ll be fun. Knock back a few cold ones, have a hotdog. Maybe the Mets will pull their heads outta their asses and win it. Either way…”
Michael held his hand up and cut him off. “If you knew me like you thought you did, you’d realize exactly what was wrong with that statement.” He pulled himself up onto the truck, flashing Gregg a smirk. A baseball game did sound nice. Down in Texas all he heard about was how awesome t
he Rangers were. The Mets were definitely in a dry spell, but it had been so long since he’d been at the ballpark. “I’ll talk to Eva after the tour. We’ll go from there.”
“That’s what I’m talking about!”
By the time they finished up on scene and got back, it was time for shift change. Michael was fortunate enough to sneak out without being cornered by Gregg, and decided to talk to Eva when he got home. She was watching TV on the couch when he got there, slightly dozing off. He sat down hard on the couch, jolting her from her mild sleep.
“Damn it, Mikey, you scared the crap out of me!” She slugged his arm and leaned in for a quick peck on the lips. “Heard about that warehouse fire. They had something brief about it on the news.”
“It was vacant. Not bad at all.” He sat up and scrubbed his palm down his face. “Listen, Gregg asked if I wanted to catch the Mets game tonight. Is it okay if I go?”
Eva glanced at him from the corner of her eye. “You’re asking me? What am I, your mother? Go if you want to!”
“Just thought I’d make sure you didn’t have something else planned.” The look on her face made him skeptical. She seemed hesitant. “What? You sure it’s okay?”
She slid the TV remote across the table and propped her feet up. “I just didn’t think you and Gregg really knew each other. He doesn’t seem like the type of guy you’d hang out with is all.”
“But he’s the type of guy you made friends with when I was gone?” It came out harsher than Michael had intended. His tone made him sound like he was jealous of the friendship Gregg and Eva had made, but it truly was not what he meant. The look on her face was enough for him to know she took it all the wrong way. “I didn’t mean it like that…”
“He was good support when you were out there. That’s all it was.” Her voice was low and she ducked her head.
“I know. I’m gonna go to the game with him. He seems like a good guy. I didn’t mean that any other way.”