Tyson downed three mouthfuls before he slowed enough to ask, “How was the drive?”
“Good. Fast. I’m late because of Kendall. She and Joel are fighting.”
“Not good.” Two more bites disappeared.
“I’m really afraid you’re going to choke,” she said.
He laughed. “Just making sure I have time after lunch to kiss you.”
“Oh, yeah? And what makes you think I’m going to kiss you?”
He leaned over the table until their noses practically touched. “Because I can see it in your eyes.”
Saffron glanced around, and although no one seemed to be watching them, she felt reluctant to kiss him here in public—and guilty somehow. “What about Jana? What if . . . isn’t this awkward for you?” Had he kissed Jana here like this? And how recently?
He pulled back and ate another bite, his face thoughtful. “It’s awkward if I think about it, because I don’t want to hurt her. But when I’m with you, I forget about her, if that makes sense. It feels like . . .”
“Like we’re kids again.”
He nodded and continued eating. “This is actually good.” He indicated the broiled chicken. “You going to try yours?”
Saffron cut off a piece and savored it. “It is good.”
After another two minutes, Tyson’s eating slowed. “Ah, that’s better. I should have eaten more for breakfast.”
The conversation wandered to their planned date tomorrow night, which led to a discussion about his dad’s therapy and the story of his cousin, who was forty and still lived in his mom’s basement playing video games all day.
Then Tyson’s phone rang. He sighed, taking it out from his pocket. “Oh, no.”
“What?”
“I have to go. The patient I told you about? He’s getting weaker, and his mother is freaking out. I need to push his surgery up.” He stood. “I’m so sorry. This doesn’t usually happen. They only alert me if they absolutely need to.”
“It’s okay.” Saffron waved his words away. “I’m glad you’re putting your patient first. I guess I see why you eat so fast.”
“Only when I’m working. Just in case.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek. “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.” His voice was low and sexy, sending shivers down her spine.
“Good. I’ll expect a nice, interruption-free evening.”
He winked. “It’ll be better than that. Remember, your ride will be there at three to pick you up.” With another kiss to her cheek, he grabbed his tray, dumping it on his way out the door.
Saffron toyed with her vegetables, her appetite gone. If she and Tyson continued their relationship, she’d have to get used to the days when he was on call. But after his residency was finished, he should have a lot more say in his schedule. They could also move from this town so he wouldn’t be working with Jana. The anxiety inside her faded away with these practical thoughts, and she was finally hungry enough to eat. By the time she’d finished the rest of her food, the cafeteria was bustling with people.
A tray landed on her table. “Do you mind if I sit here?”
Saffron looked up to see Jana. Her eyes were slightly reddened and the skin around them pinched. The guilt Saffron had felt earlier returned in a rush. “Sure. I’m actually leaving to meet up with my friends.”
“Slow eater, huh?” Jana jabbed her fork into a mound of rice. “Like me. My boyfriend says—” She broke off. “Never mind. Anyway, I still really like your necklace.”
Maybe it was her foster mother’s influence or her guilt at disrupting this woman’s life, but Saffron unfastened the necklace and held it out. “You know what? I’d love you to have it.”
Jana blinked and put her hand up in a stopping motion. “Oh, no. I’m sorry if you thought I was fishing for something. I have a blouse similar to the one you’re wearing, and I can never figure out how to accessorize it. Now that I know, I can buy something similar.”
“Not like this, you can’t.” Saffron set it next to Jana’s plate. “I made it, and I can always make myself another one. Please, I’d like you to have it. You doctors do so much good here, and I know it can be a thankless job, especially for those doing residency.”
Jana’s smile was like the sun coming up after a good storm—quick and surprising. “Well, thank you. That’s really nice of you. But how did you know I’m a resident?”
“Lucky guess.” Saffron stood, gripping her tray. “Have a good day. I’d better go find my friends.” She turned and walked quickly away.
Jana called out something, but she pretended not to hear. What was she doing, ensuring Jana would remember her so well? When Jana finally did see her with Tyson, she might be even more hurt, especially at the fact that Saffron had known who she was all along.
Saffron continued her brisk walk until she’d nearly reached the doors to the hospital, where she sank down on a bench. Why couldn’t Jana be a rude, arrogant doctor with a chip on her shoulder, not someone who might have become a friend?
She was still sitting there twenty minutes later when Halla and Kendall returned. Kendall took an off-white baby outfit from a sack. “Isn’t this cute? I’m pretty sure the baby will be a girl, but a boy could wear this too, don’t you think? With a blue shirt.”
Saffron waited for a flash of pain, a memory of her son, but all that flooded her was happiness for her sister. “Really nice. Looks expensive, though.”
Kendall smirked. “It was. But I still have one of Mom’s credit cards. She hasn’t canceled it yet.”
Saffron frowned. “You sure that’s a good idea? I mean, if you’re trying to do this on your own, we can find another way to get what you need.”
“I don’t want to do it on my own.” Kendall returned the outfit to the bag. “I want Mom in my life, just not controlling it.” She made a face. “But I’m sure she’ll cut me off soon.”
Saffron wondered why their mother hadn’t cut Kendall off already. She sure had been quick to tell Saffron she needed to obey or get out. Maybe Halla was right that she’d changed.
“What happened with Tyson anyway?” Halla asked. “You look a little depressed.”
“Oh, nothing happened. Well, except that he was called back to work.”
Halla hooked her arm through Saffron’s and pulled her to her feet. “I think what she needs is the beach. Let’s go cruising for some hot guys, ladies. I mean, I’ll do the looking since I’m not taken, and you two can help.”
Saffron felt her spirits rise. Later, she’d tell Halla about the necklace and her second encounter with Jana, but for now she’d forget about it and revel in the beautiful day and the fact that Tyson loved her.
19
After a little over an hour on the beach, Saffron was ready to leave. The afternoon was too hot for enjoyment, and though she’d changed into her suit, she felt hot and sticky and sure that the little bit of sunscreen they’d applied wasn’t doing a thing.
As they arrived at the inn in Temecula, Kendall’s phone began ringing. “Oh,” she exclaimed. “It’s Joel! I’ll meet you up in the room.”
“Actually, I’m taking off now,” Halla said. “My stuff is already in the trunk. I’m only going inside for my snacks, courtesy of Tyson’s mother.”
Kendall answered her phone. “Hi, Joel? Just a minute. I’m saying goodbye to Halla.” She lowered the phone and said to Halla, “Mrs. Dekker was always giving food to Joel and the guys. She’s a great cook. Anyway, it was so nice meeting you. I’m sure I’ll see you again.” She gave Halla a one-armed hug.
“I’m sure we’ll see each other,” Halla said. “I hope you move to Phoenix, but even if you don’t, I’m always in touch with Saffron.”
Kendall nodded. “We’ll see. Goodbye.” She turned and walked a few feet away, bringing her phone to her ear.
Halla stared after her. “Maybe Joel’s changed his mind about having her go to the concert.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Saffron said.
Kendall was talking animatedly,
heading toward her car. She covered the phone and yelled, “Be back later! I’m going to see him.”
Of course she was. Saffron and Halla tromped inside the inn and took the elevator to their room. “So what happened at the hospital?” Halla asked, going to the refrigerator.
“I saw Jana again. She’d been crying.”
Halla clicked her tongue. “Sorry about that. But really, none of this is easy. At least they weren’t engaged.”
“Not yet.” Saffron sighed as she sat on her bed. “That’s not the worst part.”
“Oh? Don’t tell me Tyson saw you together. Look, we did plan to run into Jana, but we didn’t want that.”
“I knew you guys did something. How did you do it?”
“Kendall called up pretending to be a patient to ask about her schedule and when she might be where.” Halla wrinkled her nose. “She may have dropped Tyson’s name. After that it was just a matter of walking up and down that hall until we ran into her. We got lucky.”
“Luck doesn’t seem to have had much to do with it.” Saffron was too tired to be upset.
“So did she see you with Tyson. Was there a confrontation?”
“No, it was after he left. But what happened is I gave her my necklace.”
“You didn’t!” Halla’s jaw dropped.
“I felt so bad, and she admired it, and I couldn’t offer to make her one or she’d see my name and probably throw my card in my face. Well, if he’s told her my name and she recognized it.”
“She wouldn’t have done that. She’s too refined.”
“Maybe.”
“But it was stupid. It’ll be awkward when she learns who you are.” Halla removed the lunch she’d put together and a water bottle from the refrigerator, packing it in Lily’s cooler.
“I know.”
“You’re not mad at me for us running into her, are you?” Halla asked.
“Not exactly. I guess I was curious about her, and I’m glad I met her. But please don’t do anything like that again.”
“I won’t. Promise.” Halla tossed her the key card. “Well, I have to leave now.”
“You want help with the cooler?” Saffron rose from the bed, but Halla shook her head.
“No, it’s not that big. I got it. You should get into the shower now. A cold one. I’m pretty sure you’re burnt.”
Saffron’s skin was feeling kind of hot and tight. She’d take that shower and then sit in front of the air conditioner. When Kendall returned, she’d send her out for something to slather her skin with. Hopefully, she wasn’t too burned. She had to be okay for her date tomorrow with Tyson. A date she’d been both looking forward to and dreading for eight and a half years.
“Okay. Give me a hug,” Saffron said.
They hugged and Halla whispered, “I hope you don’t plan on staying here long.”
“I won’t. I really can’t afford it.”
“I know, but don’t let a lack of funds make you rush things. It would be too easy to stay here and let Tyson take care of you.”
“And what’s so wrong with that?” Saffron had been taking care of herself and helping Lily with other teens for so long that she didn’t remember what it was like to have someone devoted only to taking care of her.
“It’s not wrong—unless that’s the main reason you stay.”
“Point taken. You don’t like Tyson very much do you?”
Halla rolled her eyes. “Of course I do. He’s sweet and hot, and I wish there was one exactly like him out there for me. I think he’s wonderful. As long as you’re sure that’s what your heart is telling you, I’ll be the first one to dance at your wedding. Even if you make me wear stupid high heels and a dress.”
“Thanks.” Saffron hugged her again.
“Bye.” Halla lifted the cooler, waved goodbye, and headed out the door.
Saffron lay back on the bed, feeling suddenly sleepy. But no, she wanted to take that cold shower, even if too much time had passed to help her skin any. Then she’d read a book until she was tired enough to take a nap.
In the bathroom, she pulled her shirt off and stood before the mirror in her swimsuit and shorts. Sure enough, the skin on her upper back and shoulders was decidedly pink. She’d definitely do what she could to soothe that before tomorrow night. At least it wasn’t painful to the touch—yet—and it wasn’t a deep red. Picking her shirt off the edge of the sink, she folded it over one of the towel racks. If she didn’t step on it, it was clean enough to wear the rest of the day.
She was starting the water when someone knocked on the door. Kendall wouldn’t be back already, so Halla must have forgotten something, though that wasn’t usually her style. Most days, she was over-prepared.
“Coming,” she called, leaving the water running.
She pulled the door open, a mocking smile on her face—a smile that died the instant she saw her visitor. The last person she wanted to see, and certainly the last person she’d expected: her mother.
“Where is she?” Her mother demanded. Pieces of wilted hair had escaped her customary knot, and her gray blouse was rumpled as if she’d been carrying something heavy.
“Where is who?”
“Kendall. I know she’s with you. I am not in the mood for games.” Her nostrils flared and her eyes resembled cubes of ice. “I had to practically threaten the workers below to give me your room number. The idiots. I even had to show my ID!”
Saffron didn’t think that was typical, so her mother must have made a fuss and irritated the employees. She’d have to apologize to them later. “She’s not here.”
“I don’t believe you.”
Saffron stood back and motioned her inside. “Check for yourself. She was with me until about fifteen minutes ago. She spent the past two nights here, though, and I’m assuming she’ll be back tonight.”
Her mother turned on her, anger glinting from her eyes. “You need to make her leave.”
Saffron folded her arms. “No, I don’t.”
“You’re not a stupid girl anymore, Rosalyn. You must have seen what kind of man he is.” Her mother’s breath came more quickly with each sentence. “He’s a disaster waiting to happen. He’ll only hurt Kendall. She’s better off without him.”
“That may be so, but it’s not your decision to make.” Saffron passed by her mother, detouring around Kendall’s belongings. She wanted to be on the other side of her mother to prevent her from coming any further into the room or staying longer than necessary.
“So it’s your decision now?”
“No, of course not. But I’m not going to force her to do anything. It has to be Kendall’s decision—or it will haunt her for the rest of her life.”
“What you mean is to let her do whatever she wants. After all these years, you swoop in and play the fairy godmother and save her from her wicked mother. Is that how you raise your son?”
Fury ignited in a space of two seconds. Saffron pointed at her mother. “Don’t you dare talk about my son!” With each word, she jabbed her finger closer until she was nearly touching her mother’s chest. She retreated a step, and Saffron followed.
“You have no right to talk about him,” Saffron went on. “Because of you, I lost the only man I’ve ever loved. Because of you, I nearly starved to death in the streets. I slept in alleys with strangers. I stole out of garbage cans to survive. And because of you I went into labor three months early and was all alone in a hospital crying my eyes out as I held my sweet son when his heart stopped beating. I said goodbye to my dead baby alone!” Saffron was screaming now, hands clenched into fists. “Alone! Because my mother—you—abandoned me!”
Her mother gasped, the color bleaching from her face. “I-I didn’t know.”
Saffron wasn’t finished. It was as if all the pain in her life had concentrated into this moment, and every inhibition had disappeared. “You killed him! Every bit as if you forced me to get an abortion. So, no, I didn’t go to dad’s funeral. I was having a private one of my own, one that forever bur
ied any loyalty I had for either of my parents. And then, after he was gone, there was nothing left. I had no one and nothing. I wanted to die. So I took an entire bottle of sleeping pills. Only a miracle saved me.” A miracle named Lily.
Saffron paused, taking a deep shuddering breath. “How could you? How could you throw away your own daughter like that? I would give anything to have my son alive. Anything!”
Her mother stared at her, stunned into silence, her shoulders slumped. She’d aged ten years in the space of a few seconds.
“So don’t tell me what I can and can’t do for my sister,” Saffron said. “My relationship with her is more important than forcing her down a path you want for her. It’s even more important than making her do the right thing. It’s her life, her choice, and the mistakes she makes are hers to overcome and learn from. You can’t change her. You can only support and love and advise—and be there to hold her hand if her world comes crashing down.” Saffron’s hands hurt with how hard she was clenching them. But the pain was nothing compared to what was in her heart.
She took a step forward, her movements deceptively slow. “I think you should leave now. There’s nothing more we have to say.”
Her mother fumbled backwards a step. “I didn’t mean for all that to happen. I thought you’d spend a few nights away and come back. That I could get you what you needed.”
“What I needed was a mother.” Saffron folded her arms again, not in defiance this time but to hold in the ache that threatened to burst forth. “I needed a family. But I don’t need that anymore. Or your excuses. I have a new family now.”
With that, she went into the bathroom and locked the door. She leaned against it, hoping the water she’d left running blotted out her quiet sobs. Moments later, she heard the room door click shut. She sobbed in earnest then, curled up on the floor by the tub.
She felt she was drowning, drowning, going under to that dark place that held no hope or love or light. If Halla had been there, she would have soothed her sadness. If Kendall had come back with her, they could have talked it out. But right now there was no one. Tyson was working, and Saffron didn’t want to force Lily to abandon her family and foster children to come save her yet again.
Broken Lies Page 18