by KT Morrison
Geoff got his wallet and he touched Dino’s shoulder and he looked up to him while he talked to his wife. Geoff waved bye and Dino nodded and waved his fingers back to him. Geoff turned and left the room to get Odie the fuck out of here before she ran into the tall man who was her boss’s brother.
GEOFF
His sweet troika felt threatened but helping Dino mitigated it. It made no sense.
Dino had arrived at their door, he said he was there to talk. He was there to fuck Nia. He was drunk and belligerent. He fucked Nia. Came all over her. And in the morning, when Dino was confronted with the external consequences of his actions Geoff could have let him suffer. Given his wife’s revelation he should have let him suffer.
Taking the phone, calling Stacy and helping made him feel good. Was it to inspire some compassion in this powerful man who held a righteous place in his wife’s life? Humanizing himself before this bully he feared could take his woman from him. Was it to curry the favour of his wife? Help her boyfriend so she would notice him. Ugh, he’d done that for a few girls in high school. He’d been used by pretty girls. Nia wasn’t using him. Preeminent in his thoughts was an apparently honest notion that he wanted to continue a threesome. He wanted all three of them to have some sort of relationship. He didn’t want to be bullied or mistreated. He wanted to be a loving husband with an average body and an average penis who loved his wife and was loved by her and they had an arrangement whereby she would fuck other, more appropriate, men.
“Talk to me, Geoff.”
He turned to her, sitting in the passenger seat of the BMW. The wind tossed her hair, she wore her sunglasses. Despite all the obstruction he saw the concern in her expression.
“About what?”
“You’re so quiet.”
He shrugged. There was a lot for him to perpend and Nia had to realize that. The wind was loud when they were on the highway and now, just because they’d slowed on a road near the venue, it didn’t mean he was ready or needed to talk about what had transpired.
He’d snuck Odie out for a surprise Daddy-Daughter breakfast that made his little girl squeal. Odie loved surprises. So when Daddy snuck in her bedroom and whisked her off to the bakery for French Toast and maple syrup she was giddy. He’d left the two lovebirds to get themselves sorted in his absence. They’d both been naked. They were old friends and lovers and as cool as he wanted to be about that it still bothered him. He didn’t want her to shower with Dino. Dino had put his penis inside her last night, made her come, then stroked his contents onto her waiting, writhing body. But he was bothered by a mutual shower? She said she wouldn’t, saw how serious he was, and he guessed she would refrain. But during breakfast he couldn’t shake the notion that they were together in his house while he was away.
He texted Nia from the bakery and she gave him the all clear. When he and Odie went home Nia was preparing to leave. Geoff had his shower and he put on his suit and Nia gathered Odie’s things and got her cleaned up. She was spending the day at Kelly’s again. A pool party there in Agincourt while Geoff and Nia attended the wedding of Donna Vitolo and Anthony Colombo.
It was an hour and a quarter out to Agincourt, then an hour and a quarter across to Vaughan to the hotel where Nia and the bridesmaids would have their makeup and hair done. She sat, clean and showered, in the car with him, in cotton sweats and T-shirt, bridesmaid dress in fluttering plastic folded behind the seats.
They arrived at the hotel, pulling under the covered entrance so he could let her get to her friends before he parked. He stopped and looked at her, waited for her to hop out but she just stared back.
He sighed. “Look, I’m glad it cheered you up. It was a bad week. I was worried about you.”
“It made me feel better, I guess. Not so lost, alone.”
“Thanks...” he said, and couldn’t help rolling his eyes. All he did for her, it took a roll in the hay with her ex to straighten her out. Apparently when she was just with him she felt alone.
“Don’t do that. I’m trying to be honest with you and you don’t want to hear it. I know what you do for me, don’t act like I just want to get fucked now. I’m not some fucking whore as much as you like to imagine I am.”
“I don’t think you—”
“Seriously, Geoff, I try and open up and be real and you take every opportunity to mope and complain and say Woe-is-me, my wife has lovers, but they’re your lovers too. This is us together—sometimes you’re into it and sometimes you can’t get enough, come in your pants like a grade-schooler, and then, when you want me to be the bad guy you fuckin punish me and suddenly play the victim. Fuckin stop it. You’re not the victim, stop seeing this only one way for fuck’s sake...”
Three middle-aged couples in dresses and blazers crossed in front of the car, laughing and talking, heading into the hotel. They sat quietly and watched them pass.
“Geoff, go, go park...” she said, keeping her seatbelt on and waving her hand towards the parking lot.
He put the car in gear and coasted out from under the canopy. “I’m sorry, Nia...I don’t—”
“Stop. I know you’re sorry. You...the way you act it’s like you’re pushing me away—like you want me to be the reason you feel bad. I can tell you a million times I love your dick, I love the size of it, that you’re all I need, but you don’t hear it, you don’t want to know that you’re good enough. Are Rocco and Dino better in bed? Yeah, but so what? If I looked hard enough I could find a guy who was even better than them but I’m not interested. One night in the spring you rubbed my feet and then took your cock out and we got dirty and you just came out with this idea that you wanted to have me sleep with other men. You did that. I didn’t ask if I could fuck better guys, Geoff. You wanted this. You did. Do I want it? Yes. Do I enjoy it? Yes. Do I want it to continue? You bet I do. But I want you to stop rolling back on your heels and blaming me when your feelings get hurt. I can’t tell you enough times how much you mean to me. How great you are. Get some fucking self-esteem. I was trying to say right now how much I love you, how huge what it is we’re doing and how grateful I am to have you in my life. I know you took care of me every day when Rocco fuckin fired me. You think I’m stupid? An ingrate? You think I take you for granted? I never take you for granted. Every meal you make me, every time you stroke my hair, tell me a joke, rub my back, my feet...my heart bursts for you. Can’t you fuckin see it in me, don’t I express love to you, for fuck’s sake?”
He pulled into an empty spot at the back of the lot and pulled the parking brake, staring up at the blue sky. “You do, Nia, I know.”
“What is it about you? Why do you do this to yourself?”
“Do what?”
“Beat yourself up. You have me, we’re in this together. I know this hurts you but I know you like it too. Is this a part of it?”
“What?”
“Part of your kink? Wanting to hate me for it.”
“I don’t hate you.”
“You're trying to. You're sticking a wedge between us when you do that. I’m not the bad guy. We're the bad guys. But if we're in it together it's not bad. Geoff, I like this. You like this. Please, get it together and take responsibility for your part.”
“You're fucking right, I know. Sometimes it does hurt. Part of it...I don't want to like this but I do...you know what it's like to see you with another man?”
“You want it.”
“I do, but do you know what it feels like? The chemicals in my body go crazy, my hormones, my heart, my blood pressure. It consumes me...”
“I tried picturing it. You, I mean. With another woman. It made me mad. I know the feeling, I know what it does to your heart. For me, it makes me homicidal, not aroused.”
“Do you think there's something wrong with me?”
“No, Geoff. Not at all. Baby, don't say that. I love you. I'd never think that. I feel like this was meant to be. All our rough edges fit together so well. Let them come together. We can make this work for us.”
“Pa
rdon me,” he said, holding a hand up. “You think our pieces fit together because I was curious to see you with another man, and you want other men?”
“You fuckin hate me for that.”
“It hurts.”
“Geoff, this is so fuckin circular now,” she said and she leaned in to his side of the car. She put her hands on him, looked him in the eye, showed him love. “This is who we are. You started this and you still want it. When it gets tricky for you don't blame me. Hug me, kiss me, help me help you, but don't you fuckin dare push me away. I love you.”
GEOFF
The events of the day were a mirror for how he’d felt towards Nia this morning. Together, but separate. She’d disappeared with her girls, laughing and hugging, bridesmaid dress folded over her shoulder. Off to their private suite to have their hair and makeup done. He sat in the hotel café for a while, working on his iPad and getting some ideas together. Ang came to him at lunch and she asked if he could run some errands and he said he would. He was glad to. He came early with Nia so he could be helpful. He took Lisa’s quiet husband out to the church with some flowers and a box of cards and he left him there, then went and picked up cigarettes and a bottle of rum. He didn’t ask why.
He ate lunch by himself at the restaurant in the hotel. He had a Reuben with fries and a beer. Then he had two more beers sitting at the bar by himself. He had his iPad but he didn’t feel like working anymore. He regretted now coming in the same vehicle. He’d pictured the day a little different. He could have spent the day with Odie, maybe hung out at his sister’s, gone swimming, and come up for the ceremony.
At two o’clock he got a special treat. Nia as a breathtaking bridesmaid was revealed to him. Presented on the arm of a tall, swarthy, handsome Italian groomsman. Nia’s hair shone in long bouncing ringlets. Like the other bridesmaids, her makeup was powerful. It looked amazing. Not as much black as she was used to wearing around her eyes but they all wore the same shade of deep burgundy lipstick with a base of vibrant blood. All of them were stunning but none of them more so than his wife. She looked appropriate on the arm of the other man. They posed for pictures at a park near the hotel, partway between there and the church. Geoff stood in the shade of a tree and watched with rising discomfort as the photographer put her in all sorts of positions with this other man, assuming wrongly, of course, that they were a couple. They took pictures together, her with her tanned knee slipping through the slit in her long champagne dress, her perfect toes pointed in a classy heel. The groomsman was a gentleman, he didn’t make any play or act cute, he behaved. Probably had a wife in the bridal party or a wife who would see the pictures or have his behaviour reported back to her. Without a doubt, he would think of Nia later. Maybe masturbate to her, remembering her feel under his big hands, her smell, her smile. And he was the kind of man who his wife would have slept with twelve years ago. Maybe she had too. Maybe the two of them were acting coy for their audience, both of them aware of some drunken but passionate evening twelve years ago at University, where they jacked their tongues into each other's mouths and those hands had gone all over her naked body, his assuredly large penis had spread his wife and he’d come inside her. It wasn’t impossible. Two hot young Mediterraneans living in Woodbridge, their naked paths could have crossed.
It twisted him. He wished his mind didn’t work this way. Nia’s recent boudoir activity wasn’t what made him feel like this. He always felt like this. Even when they were friends he would watch her with a guy, watch where that boy put his hands, he would fantasize about what they had done together. He’d always been like this. Now that he was engaged in his crooked lifestyle with her it would be nice if he’d become inured. It would be nice if his heart grew a hard protective coating. It was almost like he was becoming more sensitive.
After the photos she was taken from him yet again and he was left to fend for himself. She gave him a smile and a friendly wiggle of her fingers, mouthed Bye, then receiving his miserable visage in response she frowned and her brows curled like she might cry. Just before her groomsman helped her into the waiting Range Rover she mouthed I love you to him. He was stone. He let her suffer.
Then in the hour before the ceremony he regretted it. He drove the BMW to a different park and he took a walk around. Regretted being like he was. Being a lump in her life. She was here today to celebrate her friend’s marriage and selfish Geoff had moved his mean attitude to the forefront of the poor girl’s mind.
He texted I love you. She didn't respond.
The wedding was held at St. Mary Immaculate, an austere stone church nestled in trees in an older part of the village. It had a fountain and there were white painted saints on pedestals at the entrance that stood about eight feet tall. Geoff sat near the middle, at the aisle. When the music started, he turned and waited to see her. She was third in the procession, walking her careful, choreographed step to the altar in her champagne dress. She found him, their eyes caught and she looked at him warmly. She was the most incredible living thing on earth. She was grace and beauty and female perfection and as she passed she let her hand slip from her pale rose bouquet and touch his arm even though everyone was watching. It meant everything.
He watched and shed a tear as Donna Vitolo became Donna Colombo. He cried at weddings and this one was no different. Made worse was the look of love on friend Donna and her new hubby’s faces as the moment was sealed. The twinkle in their eyes. The recent events had tumbled his heart around in his chest like a sneaker in a dryer and he was primed for a good cry. Seeing Nia up there, so fabulous and glowing, made his eyes tear and his breaths fluttered in his chest as he struggled not to let go in this church and embarrass himself. He kept it together, bore witness to his wife being escorted from the ceremony on the arm of her rugged groomsman, the two of them exchanging a look as they walked, and he gave her a brave face as she passed. This time she did not touch him.
At five o’clock he was having a cocktail. Back at the hotel now, head craning, waiting to be reunited with his wife. The events of the day had worn him, but he would be strong for her. As long as she was with him he would be strong. Finally, the couple was announced and they entered the event. Nia was there, trailing behind, no longer on the arm of her escort, and he clamoured for her like she was a starlet at a premiere. She took his hand and she walked with him through into the reception.
“You look beautiful,” he said.
“Thank you, baby...how was the ceremony?”
“I cried,” he laughed.
“You always cry,” she said and she kissed his cheek.
He was sat separate from Nia during dinner. She sat with the bride, at her right with the other bridesmaids, groomsmen on the left. No sweetheart table at this wedding, Donna’s parents were traditional. So Geoff got to sit at a table without his wife with eight people he didn’t know. When they asked him where his wife was he said she was in the bridal party. Someone said, Oh, which one? He said The one with the black hair, they said Third from the left? He said No, three from the bride, they said Nia? Surprised he would be the one married to the most beautiful woman in the room. Yes, he said, Nia is my wife. Someone’s eyes went wide with realization, he pointed at Geoff and said, Hey, wait, you're the guy that draws for a living.
He didn’t have any drinks during dinner but he wished he had. He could do with a couple of stiff ones even though he was a beer drinker. He had opted for the veal scallopini for dinner and it was excellent. He suffered the dinner conversation and tried to avoid being deemed morose. He ate with a heavy heart and he watched Nia carefully, he waved to her every chance he could. There was plenty of glass clinking to provoke kisses and he had a strong worry that someone would urge his wife to kiss her groomsman but of course it never happened. Didn’t stop the dread from weighing on him and tightening his ribs. Nia’s toast to her friend Donna was touching and heartfelt and his joke he’d helped her with brought an honest chuckle from the crowd and an affectionate head tilt and tears from her friend Donna. They held
each other's hands for a long moment before she sat down.
When dessert was done and servers began to clear the tables there was a commotion at the door. Geoff assumed it was the arrival of the entertainment but it was prolonged and drew a lot of the bridesmaids who gathered around and, in their traditional Italian way, blew whatever it was to gargantuan proportion. Thrusting hands while they talked amongst themselves, exaggerated expressions of calamity. One was sent from the flock as a messenger. She went to Nia. Geoff watched the disturbance being related to his wife. The two of them held hands in their long dresses and high heels, their hair done up for this special day, their heavy makeup. Nia’s face was concerned. She came to Geoff then, crossing the beautifully decorated hall and she whispered in his ear that Rocco was here.
NIA
“What’s he doing here?” Geoff asked her.
“I don’t know, baby,” she said. She only knew what she was told. “Athena said he wants to talk to me. She said he’s been drinking.”
Geoff stood now, said, “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to go talk to him.”
“Do you think—”
“He won't leave on his own, Geoff.”
“Do you want me to—”
“No way, Geoff. Stay here, baby. Don’t let him see you.”
“Why?”
“What if he’s mad about...” she tried to say it without saying it. Tried to telepathically say he might not be okay with you having watched him have sex.
“I don’t think you should, Nia.”
“I have to, Geoff.”
“What if he hurts you?”