To Love You More

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To Love You More Page 4

by Wayne Jordan


  And then she stopped and turned around. She must have heard his footsteps.

  Time stopped and he saw the woman he’d once loved more than life itself.

  White-hot anger burned him, but immediately he felt like laughing. The whole situation seemed a bit ridiculous.

  He wasn’t sure about her reaction, but the eyes that looked back at him now were dull, indifferent.

  George tried to say something but wasn’t sure what the right words would be.

  She solved the problem by speaking first.

  “George.” She smiled briefly, very briefly.

  “Rachel,” he replied. “You’re the last person I’d have expected to see this bright Monday morning.”

  “I returned to the island a few weeks ago. This is my first day in court.”

  “You’re with a law firm?”

  “No, I’m a prosecutor.”

  “Why am I not surprised? That’s what you’ve always wanted to do.”

  “And need I ask? You did always make it clear you wanted a private practice.”

  “Yes, I’m a partner in a law firm.”

  “That’s good. I always knew you would be successful,” she responded. She glanced down at her watch. “It was nice seeing you, but I have to go. I don’t like to be late getting into court.”

  “That’s fine. I have to be going too. I’ll be seeing you around.”

  Her expression told him that she didn’t think seeing him was something to be thrilled about. And she was right. He didn’t think seeing her was good for his equilibrium.

  She nodded politely, turned and walked away, her stride purposeful. She didn’t look back and he felt a pain so intense that he wondered how having her back in Barbados was going to affect him. If his current reaction was any indication, he still had strong feelings for her.

  She was beautiful. In fact, she was more beautiful than she’d been those many years ago. In that short moment, he’d noticed so many things about her. She’d definitely changed. She was still tall and slender, but she’d filled out in all the right places. There was a maturity about her that made her more sophisticated—and sexier.

  Her hair was longer. Back then she’d had trouble keeping the long curly mess from her face, so she had cut it into the cute, short afro he remembered. Now it was shoulder-length and the curls were gone.

  He headed to the courtroom. She’d shaken him up and it took all of his willpower to regain his composure.

  Five minutes later, when he stepped into the courtroom, the sight of Rachel sitting on the prosecutor’s side stopped him in his tracks.

  Damn, his day had suddenly gone from bad to worse. How on Earth was he going to do a good job with Rachel across the room from him?

  And then he realized it would be easier than he thought. All he had to remember was that she had dumped him for a man almost twice his age.

  He sighed heavily and stepped confidently into the room. All eyes turned in his direction, but he was staring at one pair of eyes, which, flashing angrily, stared back at him.

  Rachel was as unhappy as he was!

  * * *

  An hour later, George exited the courtroom. Fiery anger surged through his veins. He’d never felt so embarrassed before. He couldn’t believe he’d lost the case. He had not lost a single case since starting his own firm. His record of being an “arrogant son of a bitch” was in tatters. And the case wasn’t a difficult one either. Not that his client would get any jail time, but the fine he would have to pay was more than they’d expected.

  And all because of Rachel. He should have congratulated her afterward, but he’d been too shocked at his loss.

  When she’d made her closing argument, she was calm and forceful, a ready smile on her face for the jury and judge. By the time she’d concluded, they had been eating out of her hands. She had been good, really good, he admitted grudgingly.

  He’d been good too, but she’d been better.

  Behind him, he heard the sharp clip of a woman’s heels, and then her husky voice called his name.

  “George, George.”

  He stopped. Didn’t she see that he was not in the mood for talking to anyone? Especially her?

  “What’s wrong? You come to rub your victory in my face?”

  She stopped suddenly, the look on her face one of literal pain. Immediately, he regretted his reaction.

  “I can see it makes no sense trying to speak with you on a professional level,” she said, her voice cold. “I won’t take any more of your time.”

  “I’m sorry,” he replied, reaching out to touch her hand as she turned to walk away. The spark of awareness startled him.

  She stopped, her body stiff with the tension. She turned slowly to look at him. Her expression was veiled. He could no longer tell what she was thinking. She’d recovered quickly.

  “What can I do for you?” he asked, trying to remain as polite as possible.

  “I’ve been away for a long time and just wanted to clear the air.”

  “Clear the air. What for?” he scoffed. “I’m cool with what you did. I’m over it.”

  “If that were so you wouldn’t be acting as you are now,” she reasoned.

  “Maybe I’m just being human,” he retorted.

  “You were the one who broke up with me,” she said. He couldn’t understand how she could be so calm when his anger threatened to explode.

  He paused for a moment. What she was saying was true, but he still felt as if she’d betrayed him.

  “I know that,” he finally said. “But it didn’t take you long to get over me.”

  He looked at her and noticed a flash of uncertainty. But almost immediately the confident woman he’d seen in court was back.

  He wasn’t sure he liked this Rachel. She was different. The Rachel he’d grown up with had been warm and friendly. Yes, she had been quiet and introverted, but this woman in front of him was cold and distant.

  Those were the words he’d use…cold and distant. She had loved to laugh and smile. This Rachel didn’t smile much. He could tell.

  “I will make things simple for you. We can let bygones be bygones. Neither of us is to blame for what happened. We were just two young kids who didn’t know what we wanted out of life. We’ve survived the past thirteen years without each other. Maybe that’s an indication that we didn’t need each other.”

  “You’re right,” she replied, nodding, her face still expressionless.

  “We are just two lawyers on opposite sides of the bench. We can maintain a good business relationship since it’s inevitable that we’ll meet. If you can live with that, I’m game.”

  “Good. I’m glad we could resolve this,” she replied, smiling for the first time. “How are Troy and Shayne doing?”

  “They’re doing fine. Shayne is married to a wonderful woman, and Troy’s wedding is just around the corner.”

  For a moment she went silent, and he noticed a glimpse of sadness in her eyes. “I hope I get to see them,” she said.

  “I’m sure you will. The island is small. I’m surprised I haven’t heard before today that you were here. When did you get back?”

  “I’ve been back for about two months now. But I’ve been keeping relatively quiet at home with my mom and hoping that I’d get the job I’d been looking for. I started in the Department of Prosecutors a few weeks ago.” She glanced down at her watch. “I’m really sorry, but I have to go.”

  “Take care,” he replied. He watched as she walked away, and instinctively, the sigh of relief rushed for his body.

  This was definitely not going to be easy.

  * * *

  Rachel refused to look back, though her desire to do so almost overwhelmed her.

 
Physically, he’d not changed much. He was still as sexy as ever. He wasn’t as tall as the average guy, but she’d always been fascinated by the ripple of muscles that packed themselves into his physique.

  He’d always compensated for his height with the lethal sex appeal that had made her, and all of the girls in their class, ache to be his. When he’d chosen her, she could not believe it. But she had dealt with the situation rationally and logically.

  As she was dealing with her situation right now. Her secret weighed heavily on her heart and she wondered again if she should tell him, but she balked at the possible consequences.

  Later that evening, when her son burst into the living room where she sat reading, her confusion about what to do had not abated.

  “Mom, I hit two sixes today in the cricket match. The coach says I have a lot of talent.”

  She smiled, trying not to show her trepidation. Her son had ended up loving cricket, just like his father did.

  “I’m glad,” she responded. The most important thing was that her son was happy. When Edward had passed away she’d been reluctant to return to Barbados, but her mother’s pleading had finally convinced her to return home.

  She was worried about George seeing his son. Gregory favored George. In fact, Gregory looked so much like a photo of his father as a teenager, she had no doubt that George would know the truth the first time he saw him. The resemblance was uncanny.

  She was glad Gregory had settled into school so easily. She knew he missed his stepfather. When Edward had discovered that he was dying, he’d begged her to let him tell Gregory that he was not his father. Edward had not wanted to die with the lie. She’d relented. At that time, Gregory had accepted it without question. A few days after Edward’s funeral he’d asked if his father was still alive. She told him the truth, anticipating further questions. There had been none.

  She reached out a hand and pulled him onto the couch. He laughed as he landed on her lap.

  “Love you,” she said, putting her arms around him and placing a kiss on his cheek.

  “Love you too, Mom,” he replied. “So what are we having for dinner? I made sandwiches for Grandma and me when I got home from school, but she’s not feeling well. She has a headache.”

  “I’ll go and see her. Why didn’t you call me at work and let me know?”

  “She told me not to. She said it was only a slight headache.”

  “Okay, but next time let her know I told you to call. Have you finished your homework?”

  “Yes, but I’m doing some extra studying. I have a project that’s due next week. I want to do it now and get it out of the way.”

  “That’s great. So what do you want me to cook?”

  “Macaroni and cheese? Fried chicken?”

  “Okay, since you’ve been so good, but no pie—it’s too much.”

  “I work it off at cricket, so there’s no need to worry. I’m fit.”

  “Okay, go work on your project. I’ll call you when dinner is done.”

  She smiled as he raced out of the room. At times, she forgot that he was twelve years old, with the energy he had.

  She turned and left the room, walking down the hallway until she reached her mother’s room.

  She knocked on the door, entering when her mother didn’t respond.

  Glancing at her mother only confirmed her concern. Her mother appeared fragile and lethargic. She had tried on several occasions to get her to the doctor, but then she’d seem all good and sprightly…until today. She wondered if it was depression, but her mother’s occasional good moods would always negate those feelings.

  “You all right, Mom?” she asked, reaching the bed. She sat on the edge of the bed, and placed her hand on her mother’s forehead. No fever.

  “I’m fine, Rachel. Just a little headache.”

  “I’m going to take you to the doctor tomorrow. These headaches are becoming more frequent. We need to find out if anything’s wrong.”

  “Okay,” her mother replied. She was surprised. Her mother always found excuses for her ailments.

  “Good. Are you hungry? I’m going to get dinner started.”

  “Gregory made sandwiches, but yes, I’m a bit hungry.”

  “Okay, give me an hour or so. I’ll send Gregory with a glass of juice. You took your medication?”

  “I did.”

  “That’s good. You just lie here and rest yourself. You’ll be all right in a bit.”

  “I’m sure I will. I’m sorry I couldn’t cook dinner.”

  “It’s fine, Mom. I just want you to be well.”

  “Gregory finished his homework?” her mother asked.

  “You know you don’t have to ask that. He always does his homework.”

  “Yes, he’s a good boy. Intelligent for his age. A bit too serious for my liking, but hopefully he’ll lighten up now he and Marjorie’s son are friends. Jonathan can talk nonstop. I’ll bet he talks in his sleep.”

  “Gregory will be fine. Now, you rest yourself.”

  She bent and kissed her mother’s forehead. When Grace closed her eyes, Rachel left and headed to her room, where she quickly took a shower and donned shorts and a T-shirt.

  In the kitchen she prepared dinner, but she struggled to keep the images of George from her mind. He hadn’t changed much and her response to him was a cause for concern. She didn’t want to be attracted to him, but her body seemed to have a mind of its own.

  He was just as handsome as he’d always been. Time had been good to him. With the exception of a few gray hairs at his temple, he didn’t look a day older than when she’d left.

  He was still muscular but not the bulging muscles like before. Instead, his body was lithe and made him seem taller than he actually was.

  His height had never worried her back then. In fact, she’d been glad to find someone who was not too tall. She didn’t have to strain her neck looking up at him. The George she’d known had always been confident and a bit arrogant. That part of him had definitely not changed.

  In court today, he’d exuded confidence and she’d admired the way he had handled the witnesses. She’d felt like a novice, but she’d had one up on him with her evidence so she had not been surprised at her win. She suspected that George had allowed his overconfidence to get in the way.

  The look on his face, as the verdict had been read, said a lot. The next time they faced each other in court, she would not win so easily.

  * * *

  George watched the final moments of the game then turned the television off.

  He rose from the sofa, glancing at the clock on the wall.

  It was midnight. Time for him to get to bed. But he knew sleep wouldn’t come tonight. Not after the events of today.

  He’d not even called Troy or Shayne to let them know the news.

  He was still smarting from the embarrassment of losing a case to her, especially one as minor as this one.

  But he still couldn’t get over seeing Rachel after thirteen years. He had tried to bury her in his memories but had failed. There were too many places in Barbados significant to them. It was difficult to avoid.

  Anger boiled inside. He thought he hated her for what she’d done to him, but today he realized he didn’t hate her, couldn’t hate her.

  His attraction to her was something he had not expected, but maybe it was just feelings based on nostalgia, on those tender memories from his past. In a few weeks, he’d be accustomed to seeing her. He just needed to remember that she had married another man.

  The phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. He glanced at the display.

  Shayne. His friends always seemed to call at the times he needed them most.

  “You’re all right?” So Shayne had heard already.
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br />   “I’m good. Is this about Rachel?” he asked.

  “Yes,” Shayne confirmed. “A lawyer friend called me today. Told me she saw your ex-girl in court.”

  “Already? That was fast. By now the whole island must know.”

  Shayne laughed.

  “Did she tell you Rachel wupped my ass too?”

  “She did? You actually lost a case?”

  “Yes. Her first case since her return and she beats me.”

  “She must be good. You haven’t lost a case in ages.”

  “She is good,” George replied. “I underestimated my opponent… .”

  “That’s good. Rivalry like old times. She should keep you on your toes.”

  “You’re trying to say I’m not doing my job well?” he scoffed.

  “No, definitely not.”

  “So what do you mean then?”

  “You’ve changed. You’ve lost your passion for your work. Oh, you’re still doing what you have to do, but you used to be on fire for each of your cases. I don’t see that anymore.”

  George didn’t reply at first. He didn’t want to admit it, but what Shayne said was true. Every day he felt as if he were going through the motions. Maybe he needed a break.

  “Maybe you need a break,” Shayne echoed his thoughts.

  “Maybe I do,” he replied.

  “Sorry to cut this conversation short, but my son is calling me.”

  “You go ahead, Papa. I have some work to do. But we have to get together sometime.”

  “Definitely. I’ll call you in a few days.”

  He put the phone down, feeling a sense of loss. He needed to go and see his godchildren. He hadn’t seen them for a couple of weeks. And with Troy’s fiancée, Sandra, pregnant too, there were more godchildren on the way.

  Years ago, he’d expected that by now he’d have kids. He’d spoiled it all when he had made it clear that his career came first. He had given up love for a dream—one that didn’t even give him satisfaction anymore.

  He imagined what it would be like to have a child. His son would probably be going off with Shayne and his son to play cricket. He’d make sure his son loved cricket, even though he wouldn’t have to. Any son of his would have cricket in his genes.

 

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