by Claire Angel
After thinking about it for a moment, I knew that the difference was, I was not where I was supposed to be. That bothered me. My mind tried to replay the night before and it was hard to do so. There were images that came back to me, but they did not run in any particular order. In fact, some of the things I remembered, did not seem to be true or make any sense.
When I was finally able to open my eyes again, after slowly letting them get used to the light, I saw that I was not alone in the room. The room was not my room, but I suddenly knew whose room it was.
Everything stopped for me. I could see Richard Grant, sitting in the chair beside the bed. His bed. The one I was sleeping. I couldn't believe that I was here and more than that, I was afraid that I was going to wake him up.
I tried to get up slowly and softly, just so that I didn't have to have a conversation with him, but that didn't do any good. It hurt so bad to get up, that I suddenly had a huge headache and the only thing I could think to do, was lie back down. I winced a little too loud and his brown eyes popped open. They held mine for several moments, before I finally looked away.
“It’s good to see that you are up.”
I looked outside and wondered how late it was. I knew that we had a breakfast that we're all supposed to go to around ten with the rest of the staff that came for the conference. It was more like a brunch. The way the sun was looking in the sky and the heat that was coming out from the windows, made me think that it was later than that.
“What time is it?”
He looked at his watch and told me that it was a little after nine.
I wanted to ask him why I was in his bed. There had to be a good reason and I had already figured out that I had my clothes on. If nothing else, at least I wasn’t naked or something.
“So, I guess I need to go get ready for the breakfast.”
“Yeah, but steady yourself first. I bet you have one hell of a hangover this morning. I didn’t think you would be able to put away as much as you do. It’s quite remarkable.”
“It doesn’t feel remarkable right now. Do you have some fancy rich way to take care of this hangover?”
“Usually, I just take a shot of whatever I was drinking the night before. That seems to fix me right up.”
Even the idea of that made me up-chuck a little bit in my mouth. I just shook my head and walked towards the bathroom. He apparently found that funny, because he started laughing as I shut the door to the bathroom. What the hell happened last night?
I remember being filled with rage because of Amber. That stupid bitch had taken my presentation and used it as her own. The more I thought about it, the more upset I got, and I had to remind myself that was the only reason I felt like death warmed over. Because of Amber. I couldn't let her get the best of me. Not again.
So, I washed my face and tried to pull myself together. I had to at least convince my reflection that I wasn't going to lose my shit, before I left the bathroom. I still wasn’t so sure, but I was more hopeful.
“Well, thank you for letting me stay over here. I take it, that you had a good reason. Everything's a little blurry from last night. Is there anything that I need to know?”
I was worried that I had done something stupid or said something that I wasn’t supposed to say. It wouldn’t be the first time that a little bit of alcohol had made matters worse. I didn't want it to be the case this time. And if it was, at least I wanted to know about it.
“No, not really. I found you at a bar. I was meeting a friend there and you were already on your way to being drunk. There were a few men sniffing around, so I brought you back here. I didn't want to have to explain why I was carrying you into your room. I didn't think it would look good, so I brought you here.”
I tried to imagine it in my mind and it just made me blush. The last thing I wanted to think about, was being so vulnerable with Richard. He was my boss, and I certainly didn't want him to see me that way. I don't know what had gotten into me. But I knew that I had to get myself together and hopefully forget about this. I was afraid that there was several moments, that I would rather not remember.
“So, we didn't do anything though, right?”
“What do you mean by anything?”
He had this look of mischief on his face and a glint in his eyes. For one reason or another, I could imagine that he was just messing with me. He wanted me to freak out, because he liked that reaction. I still wasn't sure what to think of him. Richard was hard to pin down and right now, I was really hoping that he was just joking. He better be.
“I mean, anything.”
“We kissed.
“You kissed me?”
“It wasn’t exactly like that. You kissed me. You actually tried to get undressed several times in front of me and I had to stop you. I was being quite a gentleman last night.”
The way he looked at me now, made it very easy to believe what he said. I could see the lust that was building up inside of him and it made me sit up in the bed. I was no longer feeling exactly safe where I was.
“Thank you for being a gentleman. I don't know what got into me last night. I really don’t drink all that much.”
“Are you sure that you don't know why?”
I was debating if I should tell him about Amber or not. The problem was that I didn't want to seem like a tattletale. I was an adult and I didn't want to run to my authority figure to fix everything for me. I wanted to take care of this myself. But at the same time, it was really hard to do it, when I couldn't get myself together. Maybe I wasn't ready for all of this.
“No, it's just been a lot. I miss my friends and having someone to talk to. I hate living with other people, especially the interns. I miss my parents, my dad especially. He would be able to help me calm down more. He always has the perfect advice.”
He looked like he was going to say something for a moment, and then Richard stopped.
“If the accommodations aren't working for you, you can always fix them if you want. There is nothing to say that you have to live there. It is just an option.”
“Thank you, I will really think about it. It has just been a big change. I have always wanted to live in New York, but it can be lonely, and it is a lot different than I thought it was going to be. I didn’t realize that my college enemies, would follow me here.”
I was rambling and I apologized. He’d asked, but I hadn’t meant to spill my guts like that.
His eyes looked over my body, and he agreed with me. I don’t think that he was even listening. As much as I wanted to believe that he cared, he was far more worried about my chest, then anything else.
“I don't think I will ever look at Chicago the same again either. All that has happened, you’ve changed New York as well.”
I wanted to ask him what else happened, that I didn't know about. It had to be better than what my mind was coming up with. Anything had to be better than that. Why was I so afraid, to find out what I had done last night?
I knew better though. I knew that if I was to ask him a bunch of questions, all it was going to do, was make matters worse. Maybe it was better just to let sleeping dogs lie. At least he didn't know how I really felt about him. Hopefully I had kept some of it in. Hopefully…
Chapter 17
Richard
What was better than watching Sarah sleep, was watching her wake up and get ready. She flitted around the room quickly, trying to make herself presentable. Sarah was convinced that she was going to be caught coming out of my room, so she wanted to make sure that it looked like she was there for business. It was hard to do, considering that she was wearing the same dress from the night before. The rest of the interns didn't know about it, but I did.
“Why don't you just let me go to your room and grab you something? I will make sure that no one sees me.”
“No, the last thing I need, is for you to get caught in my room.”
“So, you would rather get caught in my room?”
I did
n't really care either way. I could vaguely remember what Charles had told me, or rather reminded me about. He had brought up Yolanda, because he was afraid that Sarah was going to be the same way. There was that possibility, but I chose not to believe it. I wanted to move forward and figure out the maze of emotions that I felt when I was around Sarah. It was something that needed to be discovered.
I would rather us stay and not worry about everyone else. We could talk and get our own breakfast brought up in bed. It didn’t have to be complicated.
She looked out for a moment and I wondered if that was a good thing or not. When she looked back up at me, her eyes met mine for a moment and I knew that she was going to deny my request.
“I can't be seen after the debacle yesterday with the presentations. I'm not going to let anybody think that they've won.”
She was talking about Amber and I could tell from the determined set of her jaw, that Amber was in for it. Sarah was going to get her revenge from what I could tell. While Charles had insisted that getting involved would only make it worse, I was starting to wonder if that was even correct. The way that Sarah was looking right now, it was becoming clear to me that she was going to do something stupid.
The problem was, that I'd see that look many times before. Hell, I saw that look when I glanced into a mirror almost every day. It was something that I had to do, taking chances and the like, but it wasn’t going to help Sarah. Not to mention, I didn't want to make her go down that road. Not when I could stop it all.
“Who do you think is going to win?”
She smiled and waved me off. “You know what I mean.”
I didn't, but I knew that she didn't want to talk about it anymore. Sarah was very good at keeping her secrets and this was something that she wanted to keep to herself. Maybe I didn't have to show my true hand, to get the subject pressed. I could end this between the two of them and get a little bit of peace, bringing some much-needed peace and cohesion in the team. The interns were going to be with us for most of the year, so they needed to get along. I think it would be best if one of them was plucked out of the masses.
“Yeah, I guess I do. After a failure, you have to keep your head just as high. You can't let anybody know that the failure got to you, even if it's killing you inside.”
“And this is your expert opinion?”
“It is. I don't know how many times I have fallen flat on my face. The best part about all of that, if you are the type to find a silver lining, is the fact that I got to see their faces once they saw me rise again. Then I could smile, and they knew that I would never be broken.”
“That's actually quite beautiful Richard. You should put that in one of your speeches.”
“Not everything, is for everyone. You think that I am just going to share that with the world?”
“You know. I have been following you on social media for quite some time Richard, and I would beg to disagree with your sentiment. It seems like the right one, is definitely not something you're looking for. You are more into quantity than quality. You have a little bit of something, for everyone.”
“I have dated a lot of models.”
“Yeah, I'm sure that they are real pretty to look at. But how are they like to live with? Or to have a conversation with?”
“I was not looking for a conversation.”
“I know, that's what I'm saying. Never mind. I need to get out of here get dressed for brunch. I don’t know what I’m saying. I just don’t think you’re as choosey as you make it out to be.”
She had her hand on the door and I asked her if I was going to get a kiss.
She looked back at me, like I had just cursed her out and for the life of me, I couldn't stop laughing. I know that it just pissed her off. Her eyes got narrow and she looked at me through them. I had a moment of apprehension at her look.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because, you made it clear last night that you want to. I wanted to kiss you as well, only this time, I want you to actually remember it. I want you to think about it, like I’m going to.”
That made her cheeks flame red and she looked down at the ground. I had embarrassed her again and the innocence cut into me like a knife. I wondered if she knew how beautiful she looked in that moment. Undoubtably, I suppose that she didn't.
I was standing in front of the door and if she would have persisted, I would have moved out of the way. I would have been reluctant of course, but I would have done it. But she didn't ask me to move out-of-the-way. Instead, she took another step towards me and stopped, looking up at me.
“Is that really all you want, a kiss?”
“I'm not going to say that I don't want more, but a kiss would certainly set me off in the right direction.”
“Don't you think that it will just complicate things?”
“I saw you pull your dress up twice yesterday. And then I have seen you with almost nothing on, laying on my bed for hours last night. I think that it's already complicated, Sarah. Don't you?”
She visibly shook in front of me and then her arms encircled my neck. She started to go to her tip toes, but she didn't have to. I grabbed her up and folded her into my arms, holding her high against me until her feet was no longer on the ground. If I was going to get just one kiss, I was going to make sure that it was worth it.
Her lips were soft against mine. She was not as insistent as she had been the night before, when liquor had run through her blood, but it was so much of the same feeling. The gentle touch of Sarah's lips against mine, was more than I was able to handle. I could feel my own body trembling now. I don't know if it was for the same reason as her. Mine was from pure need. It felt like the last two weeks had drawn on forever. It was just not enough.
I rubbed myself against her, because she was already touching most of her body against mine. Her legs had straddled my waist to hold herself up and it wasn't hard to let her slip down a little bit more.
Then she could feel how much I needed her. If she didn't already know, though I'm pretty sure she had picked up on that. It wasn't like I was keeping it very secret from her.
I heard her moan and knew that she wasn’t going to let me have her the way I wanted, not yet. I was still going to have to work on her. It felt like I had done everything to catch her eye, but apparently, I had a whole lot more to do. I wasn’t quite there yet. Sarah melted against my body, but there was something else that I was looking for. She hadn’t submitted fully, not yet.
When I pulled away, her eyes were still closed, and I had to help her right herself when she was set down. It was more than she could handle, I could see it in her eyes and that was one of the best compliments that I could think of. Nothing made me feel better.
“Alright, I will see you at brunch.”
She agreed, but she had a look of lust on her face when she left. It was exactly what I wanted to see right now. It was exactly what I needed to see. I needed this and now I was going to have it. Soon. Very soon.
It took her a minute to leave and that made me smile even more. I wasn’t the only one affected, which was good. It meant that she wouldn’t be able to hold off for all that long. I was finally going to get what I wanted and needed from her. It was about damn time.
Just a little bit longer. Soon, I would have everything and everyone out of my way. Then I would have Sarah and her mind wouldn’t be clouded with nonsense.
Chapter 18
Sarah
I was so worried about Amber and the brunch, that I somehow, let Richard slip in when I wasn’t looking. He was suddenly kissing me, and I was kissing him. It did feel like we had done it before. I don’t know how much of what he said was true, but this kiss, couldn’t have been the same.
When he had put me down and it was all over, I wanted more. Really bad. He hadn’t though. He had looked almost bored, as he told me he would see me later. I was so turned on, dripping wet and he had let me go.
So now, I was going to this brunc
h, with my mind all messed up. How was I supposed to be able to think straight, when he had just kissed me and basically screwed me up for the rest of the day? How was I supposed to think about anything, other than the hard piece of meat that had been pressed against me?
But I went, because I wanted to prove to Amber that she hadn’t gotten the best of me. She thought she had gotten away with it and maybe she had, but that didn’t mean that I was going to let it get to me. I couldn’t. I still had a job to do and even though what she said about Richard may be true as well, it didn’t matter. I had to smile in her face and pretend like nothing was wrong. She didn’t get to bother me.
Amber was surprised to see me, and she said so. I made it a point to sit next to her.
“Nice presentation yesterday Amber. I hear that it did well with the rest of the company. You must be proud.”
She looked at me funny for a moment and then there was some dread in her expression. Was she really worried that I would tell on her?
“I am glad you liked it. Now maybe, you will be able to put something together and present yourself.”
“Maybe. I have learned something from you Amber.”
I leaned in. “There are apparently no rules now.”
I started eating my breakfast and I ignored the looks coming from her the rest of the morning. It was a time to congratulate everyone on their hard work. I wasn’t supposed to be there. It didn’t feel like I belonged, but if it showed Amber what I wanted her to see, then it was worth it for me.
It was about halfway through before Richard came down. He sat on the other side of me and several times, his legs brushed up against mine. I would search his face for the answer, but he would just smile back. He didn’t look at me most of the meal. It was only when people were leaving, that he gave me any attention.
“It’s a strange person you put yourself next to.”
He was referring to Amber, but I wasn’t going to talk about her. I didn’t want to say too much. I was still trying to figure out how I was going to deal with her. Myself. It wasn’t something that I could leave in the hands of others.