She could barely keep the tears from her eyes. What was it—the people or this day, the anniversary of the day he’d met Sharon? He probably didn’t even remember, but for her, this was a day of quiet mourning. The day she’d lost him.
Now, thanks to Jonas and the people of Kutringal, the day was reborn for her. But if Adam knew what they’d just done …
She watched Adam smile, obviously touched by the solemnity of the old man’s simple words. ‘That’s why I’m here.’
‘Don’t let her down, boy, because she’ll never let you down. She’s that kind.’
‘I know.’ As she struggled against fresh tears, Adam lowered his head, much as she’d done. ‘I swear to you I won’t, sir.’
Minyenbarra put a hand on his shoulder and smiled. ‘I believe you. Come and visit us next time she comes. You’ll be welcome.’
Adam put his hand over the elder’s, smiling, but Elly could almost feel the lump in his throat. The lack of a father’s affection was something else they had in common. A workaholic lawyer, Stephen Jepson had never tolerated his wife, Susan, even hugging her sons in his presence. Stop making sissies of them, he’d say in his harsh way. It’s past time they became men.
Funny how she’d forgotten that until now.
She got into the back of the plane with Scott, the boy with suspicious headaches, as well as his mother and one of the hypoglycaemic women. Adam had to sit in the front to balance the plane. The trip home consisted of treating her patients, talking to them in quiet mix of languages she knew he couldn’t follow. She could see he was burning to ask what the little ceremony had been about, but she couldn’t face it yet. The day had changed too much for her, turning established pain on its head, bringing unexpected gifts. Unlocking something she’d rather have kept inside her heart, unacknowledged.
Adam went home alone, taking their gifts with him. Elly had accompanied her patients to the small hospital in Macks Lake, remaining with them through the night. On evening shift, Simon took the station pager and offered to stay with her, to allow Adam to take Zoe home instead of arranging for a sitter. After the attacks at his own home, he couldn’t risk his daughter to a teenager.
The house remained unmolested while Elly wasn’t in it, but once Zoe was asleep, it felt cold and empty, as it had before Elly landed like a comet back into his world. Too tired to accept Rick’s offer of watching the cricket over dinner, Adam found himself prowling the house, knowing he’d rather tackle the problems that came with the sunshine of her laughing, giving presence in his life than endure another day alone.
Simon dropped her home at six-thirty the next morning. She came in the door holding an envelope. Her eyes had heavy shadows beneath them, but her smile was cheerful. ‘Sorry I’m late. I delivered a baby while I was there, a man came in with a broken leg from a motorbike accident on his farm, and a child with a spiked temp came in about three. It’s been a hectic night.’
And you’ve put a spotlight on yourself for Danny Spencer to see. But the words were as hurtful as they were useless; she couldn’t be anything but what she was, and though he needed her to be safe, he didn’t want to change a single thing about her.
‘How are the others we took in?’
‘Scott’s fine. We’re sending him to Dubbo base hospital for a CT scan this afternoon, but Dr Schumacher agrees that he probably needs strong glasses. They’ll be on their way back to Kutringal by tomorrow. The fly-in nurse will go with them.’
‘What about the diabetic woman?’
‘She’s unstable at present, but that’s to be expected. Once we have her on a diet and insulin plan, she should stabilise.’ She held out the envelope with a grin. ‘I found this under the door. Got a dark rendezvous on for tonight, Claudius?’
He grinned as he sniffed the envelope. ‘No perfume, my imaginative Elly-May.’ He opened it and, as he read, his brow twitched.
Watch out for Janie Larkins. She’s lying about her name, and she’s not as good as she acts. She got off on grog one day and killed a patient.
‘What the hell—’ He held out the note to her. ‘Who knows your real name here?’
She took the note. He watched her face as she read it. She was a good actress; her face gave nothing away. ‘Oops. Looks like my dark secret’s caught up with me,’ she said with a light laugh, returning the note to his hand. ‘You’re the D, Claudius. You’d better investigate, see if I need that cell you threatened me with.’
His frown deepened. ‘If someone else knows who you are, we’d better find them before Spencer does.’
She grinned. ‘Unnecessary, my worrisome Claudius. They gave you the note, not the media. We’re still safe, for today at least.’
She knew who’d written the note, he’d stake his life on it, but she didn’t want to talk. If he helped her to relax, though … ‘Then how about that picnic? It’s a perfect day.’
Her tired face lit. ‘Sounds just what I need. A long drive in my red baby, and a lazy picnic with you and Zoe.’
He hesitated. ‘It’s Friday. If you want peace, we can drop Zoe at preschool.’
Her eyes widened in indignation. ‘Picnics, paddleboats and fun without Zoe? Never!’
His heart turned to mush. He forgot about interrogating her. He hadn’t even realised the test he’d given her until she’d aced it. She’d kept her promise not to take a small, insecure child’s daddy away. A promise most adults would dismiss without problem, she refused to break.
Because she’d been that child. Elly understood his daughter, as even he did not. Last night, Zoe had asked at least ten times when Annelly was coming home. ‘I miss her,’ she’d sighed. He’d had to restrain himself from saying, So do I.
She’d make a great mother.
Oh, hell. He wanted the whole package: dedicated doctor, reckless, stubborn, feisty woman. She accepted him—all of him—as no one ever had. With Elly, he never felt inadequate. No changes necessary. She even loved his daughter—the child of a woman who’d openly disliked her.
He wanted to make her laugh when she was suffering. Making the shadows in her eyes vanish was more important to him than having her in his bed. She was much more to him than the quiet woman or the Koori doctor everyone else saw. After a thirteen-year emptiness in his life, she was still the best friend he’d ever had. And he loved her. He didn’t know if this love was what it should be, or if he could give her what she needed, but he did know he’d never tire of her in a lifetime. No amount of guilt would change that.
Despite the danger, more than his untamed streak had resurfaced. He was alive again. His wild child filled his heart to overflowing with simple joys he’d almost forgotten existed. She even made his desire for her a joyful thing … and her returned craving for him was pure magic. For the first time he wasn’t merely a cop, or a Jepson, he was her best friend, just as he was hers—and she wanted him.
The shadows of emptiness were fading to white.
As if reading his mind, she looked him up and down, taking in the slim-fit jeans and simple dark green T-shirt. ‘No wonder the bunny lady’s got it bad for you, Claudius. You’re a hot babe.’
The pounding beat of his heart filled his ears. ‘Look who’s talking.’
‘You think so?’ Looking surprised, she glanced at the marked and grubby cheesecloth skirt and white long-sleeved top she’d worn to Kutringal the day before. ‘I wouldn’t describe this outfit I have on now as anything approaching hot.’
‘You’d make me hot if you wore a sack.’
‘You’re not alone.’ With a tiny sound of distress she wrapped her arms around his neck, and brushed her mouth over his. ‘Please, Adam. I’ve got to know, if only once.’
His final shreds of resistance falling in a screaming heap, he returned her caress, no more than a hesitation, so damn afraid of the rejection to follow. But she whimpered against his mouth, holding on to him as if she were falling down.
Aching to slam his mouth against hers with all the pent-up hunger in him since his first sight of her
three days before, he was about to do just that, when he remembered her face as she showed him the scar Spencer had left on her; defiant, pain hidden, so sure of his rejection. And he remembered the violence she’d seen too much of in the past two years.
Another tender brushing of mouths. It physically hurt his whole body as he waited for her to take the lead, but it was—hell, ‘beautiful’ seemed such an overdone word for the glory of what they were together. Another soft whimper, and her fingers wound in his hair as she pulled him down. Begging or demanding—he didn’t care. She wanted him, his Elly wanted him.
The second woman he’d kissed in thirteen years, and God knows, he had no confidence in his technique, but when he deepened the kiss at last her arms tightened around his neck and her mouth opened as if she were made for the purpose of kissing him. Her whimpers of desire filled his throat and touched his heart; her body moved against his in heady arousal. She slipped her hands under his shirt, curling her fingers in his chest hair, dragging her nails down his back, not so much drinking him in as gulping him down. When he pushed her against the wall, one of her legs hooked around his, dragging him as close to her as he could be without being inside her. And all the while their mouths were locked, tongues meshed in a kiss that was deep, scorching hot and animal wild. They were devouring each other, starving for more—
And he’d never been happier in his life. At thirty-three, at last he’d discovered real passion. So blinded for so long … if only he’d realised what had always been between him and Elly, right from the start. A meeting of minds, and glory of body, heart and spirit as true, right and perfect as the dishevelled red-ochre glory of the outback after a storm.
Childhood mates, best friends, confidantes—and, at last, lovers. Janie and Adam; Elly-May and Claudius. Her yearning was his. Her need was his. To hell with taboos. At least for now.
‘Whoa,’ she murmured when they finally parted, giving him a dazed and unsteady version of her brilliant smile. ‘Now that’s what I call a kiss, Jepson. If you’d done that to me years ago, you could have won every argument we had without saying a word.’
He grinned, the joy she always inspired in him filling his heart and gut. She’d never know what those words meant to him. He kissed her throat, and felt her tiny purr against his mouth. ‘Elly, you’re driving me insane,’ he muttered, hand moving to her breast.
She arched into his hand. ‘Oh, Adam, don’t stop.’
The thrill of her mindless desire kickstarted a pounding beat of intense need. He took her hand from his back, kissing the soft flesh of her palm and inner wrist. ‘Let’s go.’ He opened his bedroom door.
‘Daddy!’ Zoe’s sing-song voice filled the air. ‘I’m wakey!’
He groaned, burying his face against Elly’s throat. She tried to pull away, but he restrained her. ‘I’m here with Aunt Elly, Zoe,’ he called, his voice hoarse.
Zoe skipped down the hall until she noticed them, and skidded to a halt. ‘Why’re you hugging Annelly?’
‘Because I want to,’ he replied without defence or apology, testing uncharted waters with his daughter. ‘You want to hug her, too?’
Suspicion and jealousy filled Zoe’s green eyes, along with haunting fear. It slugged him in the guts. Sharon had always looked like that when he brought up Elly’s name. And for the first time, he wondered if it had been something deeper than simple prejudice.
‘We’re going on a picnic by the river to look for paddleboats today,’ Elly said with a smile. ‘Want to skip preschool and come with us?’
A grin spread over Zoe’s features, and she ran into their arms. Adam swung her onto his hip, and she kissed Elly. ‘You can hug Daddy if you want, Annelly, ’cause you’re my friend.’
‘Thank you, Zoe.’ She blinked, hard and fast. ‘I don’t have a daddy, so your daddy hugs me if I need one.’
‘I will too!’ Zoe hugged her tighter, with another smacking kiss.
She took Zoe from him, holding her tight, covering her little face in kisses. ‘You’ve made me all better.’
‘Sometimes Aunt Elly needs lots of kisses, Zoe,’ he said softly, his gaze lingering on Elly, loving the traces of the passion they’d shared still in her face. ‘Can I do that, too?’
‘You said I was your best girl, Daddy!’
The pain in her baby voice alerted him. Turning, he saw the tears puddled up in Zoe’s sweet eyes.
‘You said you don’t wanna kiss no girls but me!’
‘That’s right, Zoe. I was so tired this morning, and a bit sad, and your daddy kissed me better—but if you don’t like it, it won’t happen again.’ Elly’s answer was all gentle acceptance for the child’s feelings. In the long silence, she lifted her pinky. ‘Remember, Zoe? I do,’ she said. ‘I love your daddy, but I love you too.’
Then Zoe lifted her pinky, and they renewed the pinky promise. In the gesture, Adam saw the farewell he couldn’t stand. I can’t lose you again, Elly. Not now.
‘I–it’s okay, Annelly—you don’t have a d–daddy, so you can share mine if you want, ’cause you won’t take him off m–me,’ Zoe hiccuped.
‘Never. He’s your daddy forever.’ With a final pump of their linked pinky fingers, she kissed Zoe’s cheek, nose and hair. ‘Thank you for sharing him, sweetie. You’ll have him all to yourself again in a few days.’
The dark image of two dead bodies, dumped for carrion in the vast Australian desert, created a bleak aura between them. Ugly. Insuring the farewell, and he wanted to punch something, someone.
Elly stepped out of the group cuddle. ‘I need a shower.’
He nodded. ‘I’ll pack the food, and get Zoe ready.’
She offered him a weak smile. ‘I’ll get a plastic cover for your stitches from my kit, so you can swim.’
Adam dressed Zoe, responding to her bright chatter on automatic pilot. He understood Elly’s withdrawal only too well. Danny Spencer’s ugly acts were as tangible a barrier between them as the memory of Sharon and Zack’s deaths. She wouldn’t allow herself any form of a normal life while that mad dog hunted her. She’d loaded those deaths onto her overburdened conscience. They were two of a kind, all right—because he could do nothing about clearing her of her burdens until he could find out how to work a similar miracle for himself.
Despite their recent passion, he felt the doubt in her ready withdrawal. She still couldn’t trust him not to hurt her … and given his track record, he couldn’t trust himself.
But neither of them could afford to trust anyone else.
Grimly, he went to call Sarge about their trip, and to request one of the station’s two satellite phones.
Charleville, Far Western Queensland
Serenity was such a wondrous feeling. Breathing it in, he took a minute to just enjoy the precious moments. One step closer to Janie.
I told you we’d feel better, Monster said. He had to go.
Danny looked at the body of the pilot, the handsome face twisted in terror, slack mouthed and stupid in death.
You wouldn’t like him so much now, Janie, Monster commented.
No! No! She’s going to be so upset with me! Funny how the scream was so loud it filled his entire body, but didn’t make a sound. Janie, Janie, I’m sorry. Please come and save me!
I’ll save you, Danny. I’m here. I’m always here.
No! Granddad put you inside me. You’re a spy. You’re here to keep Janie away from me!
I’m the only one who loves you, Danny.
Shut up! I’m not listening to you any more!
He’d already taken T–Trevor’s car keys. He hopped out of the plane and took the Fiat out of the hangar—now this was a more appropriate ride for him than trucks—before he locked the hangar. The ride wouldn’t last—someone in the tower or office would want to know why T–Trevor hadn’t signed out after landing—but even an hour or two was precious. He’d have time to sell the car with the new ID Granddad said was waiting for him at Charleville post office, and buy a new car. A few more precious hours he had t
o waste, when he could be finding Janie.
Granddad knows, Monster said. We need to make him tell us.
He’d called Granddad on the plane. He said she’d headed south. Last known whereabouts in Broken Hill. Sure, Granddad, I believe you. You know exactly where she is—and if you don’t tell me soon, Monster’s going to tell you something you really don’t want to hear.
I’m going to tell him anyway, Monster said. Trying to control us this way!
T–Trevor had sworn he hadn’t hit on Janie, that she was just a ride—but who’d believe that? Married men had eyes, were as sleazy as any other when it came to pretty women—and by the end, T–Trevor would have said anything to stay alive.
The world was a cleaner place without men like that. Women were safer. Janie was safer.
South of here, Broken Hill was calling him. He felt it, her presence there. And from there—
Granddad knew.
Granddad would tell him soon. He just had to hold on, be obedient just a little longer.
CHAPTER
13
The hour-long drive south to the river bend was uneventful. Handing Adam the car keys, Elly pushed the passenger seat as far back as possible and slept through Zoe’s excited chatter until he pulled up at the cool, grassy stretch beside the river, a popular spot for picnics and camping.
The mighty Murray was a sad sight compared to its heyday. Drought, damming, farmers’ irrigation licences and industrialisation upriver had taken its toll. Yet it was still beautiful—a wide, fast-flowing slipstream of cool water shaded by eucalypts and willows, still deep enough after hard rain for the river’s famous paddleboats. The scent of red earth, scrub and eucalyptus filled him with a sense of peace, as it had from the day he’d discovered this spot. Despite being born in Sydney, he’d be happy to spend his life in Macks Lake.
‘We’re due for more rain tonight or tomorrow, but we won’t see any paddleboats today.’
‘It’s lovely, even without them,’ Elly breathed, her eyes aglow. ‘Can we swim?’
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