by Rebecca Rose
“What the hell do you think I said?” Jake scowled at the floor. “I told her I am.”
“Jake, you’re my brother, and that’s why I think I can be honest with you. You’re screwin’ up your life for nothing.”
“It’s not for nothing. And it’s my choice.”
“You’re really going to let that bitch ruin your life?”
“That’s not fair, Dave. It’s not just because of her, there’s other things, too.” Jake stretched his arms across his broad chest.
“Damn, Jake. All you do is work out, eat, read, work out, eat, read. When’s the last time you’ve had some fun?”
“A few days ago when I woke up naked in the manager’s office. I still don’t know how I got that way.” Jake gave Dave a mischievous grin.
“Too bad Trixie didn’t take advantage of you.”
“Yeah, sometimes I miss that.”
“Well, at least I know the parts still work if you’re missing it.”
“Thanks, Dave.” Jake slugged his water and thought of the temperamental dancer with the big eyes. He hadn’t yearned for the company of a woman in so long that the sensation seemed foreign. Heck, what man wouldn’t want to be around her? She was beautiful, had a wicked sense of humor. Her slow smiles always brought butterflies swarming in his stomach, and he sometimes found himself stumbling over his own tongue when talking to her. If he was looking for a good time—which, he assured himself, he wasn’t—he would definitely be sniffin’ around Sophie. She had looks, personality, all the right assets and… his body stirred and his loins began to throb. Shit. He really needed to think of old women, hairy men, and gross, rotten food. Otherwise, he was going to give everybody in the gym a show of his manhood.
“So Jake, now that there’s a manager in the office taking over your job, are you going to stop comin’ around?”
Jake shrugged. “Naw, I think I might stand behind the bar a few hours every night. Give myself something to do.”
“Or the opportunity to look at someone?”
“Dave, I’m really not interested.”
“Whatever you say.” Dave shrugged. “I gotta go. See ya later?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Jake turned back to the workout machines behind him. Maybe he did spend too much time there. What else did he have to do? After everything was settled, Jake found himself without the woman he loved, short a kidney, and with no place to belong. For a while he thought about traveling, but the prospect of doing it alone seemed depressing. What kind of good time can a solo person have when haunted memories follow him wherever he goes?
He pushed through the locker room doors and went for the showers. The strong smell of powder and ammonia triggered Jake’s mind instantly to the notion of sterilization, hospitals, and wounds. He fought with the storm cloud trying to blanket his consciousness. He knew what came next, and he desperately fought to stay in reality.
The shower spray felt good on his skin. Purifying his soul as his memories manifested themselves into a hallucination. Jake was back in the hole. He could feel the weight of his armor and weapons as he crouched down to stay hidden from his squad’s objective.
Without warning a flash of bright light blinded him while a piercing sound left him deaf for what seemed like an eternity. Jake covered his ears and went down to his knees as water sprayed over him, much like the dirt that rained down in his delusion. Gasping for air, Jake forced his mind to see reality instead of the moment that changed him forever. He looked down at his hands; water ran through his fingers much like the blood had when he rolled one of his comrades over to check for life. It was then he knew he was in trouble. All his men were wounded or dead.
What the hell happened? Why did I live? He asked the questions over and over again, but the answers always eluded him. The plan had been to get in as quietly as possible then out the same way. But wasn’t that always the plan? Except, this time the adversary had been waiting for them, as if they’d known.
Jake pondered many nights wondering if there’d been a mole. Each time the answer came back no. It was only a line of attack gone wrong, plain and simple. But Jake never made a plan that didn’t work out perfectly. He was the best at what he did, and he couldn’t accept that this time he hadn’t been right about the strategy. He was missing the whole story, and his subconscious wouldn’t let him see what his mind wanted to show him.
Jake came back to reality wedged in the corner of the shower stall. His body shook violently while he tried, once again, to clear the illusion before him. This time it worked, and he found himself exhausted. Turning off the water, Jake rested his head against the cool ceramic tile. He evened his breathing and did a mental check of himself—every limb still attached and no wounds visible. Standing with shoulders rolled back and his head high, Jake walked into the quiet locker room and dressed. His body dragged while his mind tried to clear. Jake hadn’t experienced a flashback in a long time, and with each one he bounced back a little bit better and remembered a little more about the night his life changed. “Pieces to a puzzle,” his therapist told him. “When your mind is ready, they will all fit together and you will remember.”
Jake scrubbed his hands over his face and told himself, “Gut up, Gunny. Gut up. You’re alive.”
* * *
Sophie knocked on the door enthusiastically. She didn’t know how he would hear her with all the noise coming from the small house. She recognized the tune and sang along in her mind as she waited for an answer.
The plan had been a simple one: go to Dave’s and find out the password to the company computer, go home and talk to Kathy for a while, then soak in a deep bath of bubbles with Mozart playing softly in the background. Instead, Sophie discovered, after an hour of trying to contact Dave, that Jake had changed the password when he took the finances over, and Dave had it “written down somewhere”—but it would be easier if she just asked Jake.
“HA.” She laughed at the lunacy of it all because now it was Jake who wouldn’t answer his phone or door. “How the heck did they run this business without me?” she asked herself.
At first Sophie hesitated, then with more effort than needed, she pushed his door open and called to him. Realizing she couldn’t be heard over the music, Sophie searched out the source of the riot. In his living room she found a huge fifty-two-inch DSL television and a state-of-the-art music system. Next to it were stacks of CDs, which, after closer inspection, looked all to be in alphabetical order. Little OCD, Jake? With a tentative hand, she found the Off switch to the music system and felt the vibrations in her body cease immediately, but the ringing in her ears continued.
“It’s like being at a damn concert,” she murmured to herself.
“That’s the way I like it. What the hell are you doing in my house?”
At his deep voice, Sophie screamed and jumped around with a hand to her chest. “You could have let me know you were there!”
“I just did,” Jake said.
His smile infuriated her, but she couldn’t say if the blush she felt on her cheeks came from fury or from the fact Jake stood before her half-naked. Jean shorts rode low on his hips, his top button was undone, and his chest was bare. She eyed the long scar across his torso and wondered how it could make him look sexier.
“You do realize its fifty degrees outside, right?”
“Yeah, I’m warm-blooded. Why are you here?”
She watched as he approached her. His effortless saunter gave her the impression of a panther in the moonlight. His eyes were dark and intense, as the shadows of the ending day gave his face a dangerous appeal. What had she gotten herself into? Did she really think she could handle this man? He stopped within inches of her. The powerful animal magnetism between them gave way to a low purr escaping Sophie’s throat.
“I’ve never felt this intense of an attraction toward someone before. I’m not quite sure what to do with it,” he told her.
She went with her desire and brought a hand up to his chest. Sophie watched in f
ascination as his muscles jumped at her touch. “You have the most incredible body.”
“Please.” He took a sharp breath and twined his fingers in her hair. “Sophie, please stop.”
“But you’re pulling me to you.” She gazed up into eyes that looked as confused as she felt. “I don’t understand, Jake.”
“I’m only playing in good fun, Sophie. I’m—”
“—not involved with anyone.” She stepped forward so their bodies brushed. “We work at the same place, remember?” Feeling daring, Sophie stretched up to her toes and nibbled on his chin.
“I don’t think this is a smart idea.” He shifted his face to nuzzle her neck. “I really don’t want to start any kind of—”
“Don’t tell me you’ve never done something that wasn’t part of a plan,” she whispered.
“I… yes, no… Damn, I can’t think.”
“Where’s your brain, Sergeant?” He smelled amazingly male, and the touch of his lips on her neck and ears combined the sensations together to create a firestorm of need. She hadn’t stopped thinking about him or their meal at the restaurant. The connection developing between them seemed to grow stronger, even in their absence from each another.
“Gunnery Sergeant, and it went south along with all my blood.”
Daring herself to be bolder, Sophie told him what she felt. “You know, Jake, I didn’t come here with this intention. Yet I always seem to find you without clothes on, and it’s making me do things I would never ever think of doing with someone I barely know. This is crazy. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
With his hands on her shoulders, Jake stood her at arm’s length and stared deep into her eyes. “I’m going to go put a shirt on.”
Sophie took a deep breath. “Okay, maybe you’re right. Space, breathing room, umm—” She smiled to herself when he turned and appeared to sprint away. That was her first instinct, too, but what was the use in running when they would only find themselves pulled together again? As her thoughts processed, she wandered into the kitchen, where a large pot on the stove held simmering sauce. Next to it, his spice cabinet door was left open, showing all the jars were displayed smallest to tallest, faced forward and in alphabetical order.
“You’re very organized, Jake.”
“I like knowing where things are. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Sophie looked at the spice jars. “I suppose not. Could you come and organize my kitchen? It’s a mess.”
“Sure, why not. I was just about to make some pasta. You want some?”
Jake reached up and closed the cabinet with a slam while he pulled his other hand through his hair. He looked a little uncomfortable with her standing in his kitchen, so Sophie stepped back to give him more room and mustered up the courage to ask, “Are you asking me to dinner, Jake?”
“After you tried to molest me in my own living room I should kick you out on that firm ass of yours, but I won’t.”
“I wasn’t the only one doing the molesting, big boy.” Playing, Sophie went for a grab at the front of his shirt and Jake maneuvered away from her.
“Hands to yourself, little lady.”
“Okay, but you started it.” She turned back to the stove and picked up the spoon next to the pot.
“Here, let me.”
Sophie connected her eyes with his when he brought the spoon of sauce to her lips. She blew gently then tasted. “Mmm. Jake, this is delicious.” When she licked her lips, Jake rolled his eyes to the ceiling.
“Why am I in this situation?” He gently wiped stray sauce from the side of her mouth. “I should be concentrating on so many other things,” he told her after licking the sauce off his thumb.
“Maybe you’re just attracted to dancing accountants,” she laughed.
“Never was before,” he said with a smirk. “It could be interesting.” With haste, he grabbed a pot from the hanging rack above the stove and filled it with water. “So, have you heard from your friend?”
“Friend?”
“The one with the fresh black eye.”
“Ohhh. Yeah, he called my parents and they called me. My mother is disappointed I showed my anger. Apparently, it wasn’t very ladylike of me to lose my temper.”
“I thought it was one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen.” He salted the boiling water then added some oil.
“I’ll let her know that next time I talk to her. My father was more concerned with ‘the bar’ I’m presently working at.”
Jake grinned at her, “It’s not really a bar.”
“I know. But they don’t understand that.”
Jake leaned against the counter and watched her. “What are you doing here?”
“Having supper.”
“Sophie…”
“I needed the password for the computer. Dave didn’t know it.” She smiled and batted her eyes lashes at him.
* * *
Jake turned to stir the pasta while shaking his head. “You have the most beautiful smile.”
“Really? Thank you.” Sophie walked to the kitchen hutch and started looking at the photos set next to the dishes on the shelves. “But it doesn’t seem to have an effect on you.”
“What makes you say that? Because I didn’t throw you on the couch and make love to you?” He wanted to. Lord knows how much he wanted to. But after so many years of celibacy, Jake found himself as nervous as a teenage boy in the backseat of a car for the first time.
“Well, yeah.”
He felt her move toward him, so he turned and pointed at her with a grin on his lips. “You said you wouldn’t touch me.”
“I’m not going to,” she told him, tongue in cheek.
Her playful demeanor made his nerves dance, awakening his libido. When she took the wooden spoon from him and smacked the side of his butt cheek he yelled, “Hey! What are you doing?”
“Spanking you.”
The glint in her eyes made Jake rethink the living room couch, but the kitchen counters were closer. Instead, he grabbed the spoon back and smacked her ass good. “How’d that feel?”
She leaned forward so their lips were a whisper apart. “Wonderful.”
“You’re driving me nuts, Sophie. Listen… I’m just going to be right up front with you. I haven’t been with a woman in two years.”
One of her eyebrows lifted. “Is there someone you wanted to be with?”
“No.”
Her bottom lip puffed out, just a tiny bit. “I’m screwing that up, aren’t I?”
He studied her. She wasn’t questioning his confession, but she didn’t ask why, either. He found that fact very interesting. “Yes, you are messing it up.”
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I promised not to touch you anymore.” She smiled at him. “I think you need to drain that spaghetti, Jake.”
Looking down, he saw the pasta was almost overdone. “Right. Umm, it was a personal decision.”
“Did it have to do with the things you needed ‘to take care of’?” She opened cabinet doors until she found dishware for them to eat off of.
“Yeah.” He wasn’t sure how ready he was to talk about something so private, but without her pushing it seemed he could go at his own pace. “You want mozzarella on this?”
“Yes, please.”
He spooned two bowls of pasta and sauce with fresh grated cheese and brought them to the table. When they were settled, Jake looked into her eyes to search her soul. He saw she had been waiting for him to talk. “When I got back from the war I was wounded, a little messed up in the head, and my girlfriend left me for her boss. They’d made plans to marry while I was deployed. I mean real plans. The dress, church, reception, honeymoon, you name it, it was all in order. All I had to do was get home so she could tell me. But seeing that I came home early with a few bullets, she offered to postpone the wedding.”
Surprise and detest crossed Sophie’s features. “Wow. That was very sweet of the hussy.”
Despite himself, Jake laughed. “Yeah, I guess you�
�re right there. Anyway, she was married for about a year when she realized that she really did love me.”
“This just keeps getting better. Let me guess.” Sophie batted her lashes and made a sad puppy dog face, then sniffled, “Jake, I’m sooo sorry. I was lonely and he comforted me when you weren’t here. But, I was thinking of you every time… what’s his name?”
“Asshole.”
“Every time Asshole and I were together. Can you forgive me and take me back?”
“No!” Jake said, smirking. Then he did something he never thought possible. He reached across the table and cupped Sophie’s chin in one of his hands as he stretched over to her, seconds before their lips touched. The kiss was sweet and over before it even began, but it left Jake muddled. Sophie must have been muddled, too, because her eyes looked mildly shocked.
“I didn’t touch you,” she told him.
“No, you didn’t. Thank you for understanding.”
“Kiss me one more time and I won’t tease you for the rest of the meal.”
“How about just because I want to?”
She shrugged, and Jake asked himself how her mere presence could cause him to feel and try things that he had wanted to do for years. He brought his lips back to hers, but this time he moved his hand from her chin to the back of her head. He kissed her deeper and longer, allowing his body to respond how it wanted. No, he hadn’t forgotten how to do this, and it felt wonderful having his lips on hers. Their tongues danced, and he felt her hand on his cheek.
“You’re touching me,” he said against her mouth.
“I can’t help it,” she whispered. “You’re lucky I’m not pulling you over this table and ripping off your clothes.”
Jake rested his forehead on hers. “If you’re a good girl, maybe someday I’ll let you.”
Chapter Five
“Hey, Gunny. How do you like working for your big brother?” Louie teased.
“Who said I’m working for him?” Jake’s eyes wandered to the office down the hall. As he wiped down the beer counter he wondered if she would ever come out. Sophie had been hiding in there all week “organizing.” He didn’t realize there was so much to do. In his mind, she needed only to look at the books, make some changes to how they spent their money, and then rearrange a few things. Nothing to it. Then again, that could have been why they hired her, because Dave and him were doing just that, and it wasn’t working.