So he stopped sending her sexy work e-mails, but he always figured out a way to make a connection with Lorraine.
As a matter of fact, even as recently as several hours before, when she first woke up that morning, she turned on her iPhone and realized Posse had sent her three texts. The first one came in at 12:01 a.m.
U sleep?
Then at 1:10 a.m., Posse wrote:
Missin’ U
Then at 2:05AM he texted:
Miss Kissing U
(-}{-)
When she saw the symbol he drew, she knew he was thinking of sex, dreaming of kissing her, and remembering how he used to love stroking her body with his large hands and rubbing her clit till she ordered him through clenched teeth to, “Stick it in me. Now!”
Ha! If there was one thing she missed about Posse, it was the sex. She couldn’t understand how any woman who’d been used to having sex could go without, especially if the woman had been in a marital relationship where sex was a given. Lorraine knew of some ladies who’d ended their marriages, gotten divorced, and then decided to be celibate. No sex. For years. No way. She mused that if she ever got married and things didn’t work out, she might get a divorce but she’d be divorcing her husband, not sex.
As she reflected on the past, her mood went from happy to gloomy. Why do people have to break up, be alone, and remain with sorrowful memories of what used to be? Maybe it’s because they never should have hooked up in the first place. Let’s face it, some couples just weren’t meant to be: Sophisticated Robin Givens and unruly Mike Tyson? Obviously a mismatch! Lil Wayne and Lauren London! The talented actress clearly summoned up the courage needed to lay down with that tatted-up reptile plus bear his child. Didn’t a pretty girl like her realize she was too good for a rapper? And Kanye West paired with any woman was an automatic mismatch. But unusual pairings were what gave the world a distinctive and compelling flavor. If Lorraine depended on finding a so-called 100 percent perfect match, she might end up being alone for the rest of her life.
She thought of her ex and how he tried hard to stay connected to her. Although it stoked her ego, her heart advised her that Posse could text her till her cell phone exploded, but she was ready for her new possibilities. If Wendell Holmes was the road to something new, she was ready to begin that journey.
5
Nobody Is That Perfect
During her first day back at work after the vacation, she and Wendell barely crossed each other’s paths. He was tied up in a couple of hour-long meetings on and off site, and she was occupied finishing up the details of a PowerPoint presentation. But the following day when Lorraine let herself into the office, she was ready to stay professional. Some of their conversation the day before had left her feeling uneasy and she thought the best approach was one that avoided conflict.
She entered their office and yelled “hello” to Wendell from behind the wall of her cube. But he didn’t reply. She dropped her briefcase to the floor with a thud and went over to his desk to greet him. The surface of his workspace held the typical mouse pad, printer, pencil cup holder, stapler, and wire mesh in-box.
He’s a neat freak.
It disturbed her that not a single stack of paper sat on his desk.
Too good? Can’t be true!
Lorraine promptly abandoned all thoughts of Wendell and concentrated on her work.
Later that afternoon, she received an MS Outlook meeting invitation titled, “Sandcastle Competition.” She instantly wondered what it meant. She’d just returned from lunch with Natalie Kruse, a freckle-faced, African-American second-year architect who worked on the fourth floor. During their hour break, they visited a Thai food restaurant in midtown and were joking around and having a good time. Natalie was one of the few people she’d met in Houston with whom she could let down her guard.
Lorraine glanced at her e-mail invitation again, picked up her office phone, and dialed Natalie.
“Hi there, girl. Your suite mate there? S-w-e-e-t?” Natalie teased.
“Shhh,” Lorraine said with mild annoyance. “I called you about something entirely different.” During lunch Lorraine had felt disappointed that she hadn’t seen Wendell all morning. She felt on the verge of exploding inside, so she took a risk and casually questioned Natalie about him. Natalie read between the lines and by the end of lunch, she pegged the two as a new couple.
“Be serious, Natalie. I got a meeting invite,” she said and began to explain the description.
“Oh yeah, I worked on the team last year,” Natalie responded. “It’s a whole lot of fun. We get to brainstorm and come up with ideas about what type of sandcastle we’re going to build that best represents EDC. We’ll get to hang out at Galveston, work on our project, and interact socially instead of being concerned about work.”
“Well, I guess I’ll accept and see what this is all about.”
“Sounds good. See you later.”
An hour later, ten employees sat around a conference table. A data projector was set up and a white projection screen hung from the ceiling. Employees milled about holding bottled water or sipping from soda cans until the meeting commenced. Lorraine was seated next to Natalie. She felt a jolt of electricity when Wendell silently slid into a chair on the other side of her. He nodded and smiled and she felt her tongue get stuck to the roof of her mouth. Even though they shared an office, it wasn’t like she got to see him a lot. He’d be busy doing his thing, and she’d be doing hers.
Lorraine managed to get ahold of herself. She calmly smiled at Wendell and waved. She felt Natalie give her a slick kick, but she pretended to ignore her.
Soon the meeting facilitator began explaining that for this year, EDC was asking five employees who previously worked on the sandcastle project to rejoin the team.
“And we enlisted the help of five other staff members who’ve never participated to come onboard so you may partake in this wonderful experience. This organization has been putting on this competition for over twenty years. It’s considered one of the world’s largest sandcastle competitions. And it’s gotten so popular that every first weekend in June when the event takes place, some families bring their kids and make it into a minivacation. So we really need to work hard this year. Maybe we can take home the Golden Bucket prize.”
Everyone cheered and started clapping in an effort to show support for the annual competition.
“Can you swim?” Wendell whispered to Lorraine without taking his face off the meeting facilitator.
“Since I was five years old,” she whispered back, following his lead.
“I’ll bet you look good in . . . the water.”
Hearing him flirt with her made her feel great, like she was back on the right track. Yet she didn’t want to be a typical female and fall for the bait of a man’s sweet words.
How can I raise the standard and react differently yet affirmatively?
Her iPhone began to chime loudly. Everyone twisted in their seats and looked in her direction.
“Oops, sorry. I forgot to put it on vibrate.” She picked up her phone. Posse! She rejected the call and laid the phone on the conference table.
Two minutes later her phone rang again and started twirling in a tiny circle from the vibrations.
“Must be important.” Wendell smiled.
“He’s wearing my last nerve.”
“A male bill collector?”
“No!”
“A boyfriend who’s thinking about you in the middle of the day and won’t give up until he hears the sound of his baby’s voice?”
This is my chance to be honest and up front. But how many times has a man been 100-percent transparent with me? Why do women always feel the need to be real, but the man refuses to do the same? Should I change my standard of raw truth and try lying for a change and see where it gets me?
“Just something that can wait, that’s all. For all you know, I got two different callers within thirty seconds.”
“That could be possible but with your big
, smartphone screen, I clearly saw the same name twice. Posse, is it? Is that a man or a hip-hop clothing store?”
She burned inside at Wendell’s words. Although she perceived he was only teasing, his bluntness put her on edge. This time when Natalie chuckled and kicked her again, Lorraine discreetly kicked back.
Unbelievably, Lorraine’s phone chimed again. The meeting facilitator waved to get everyone’s attention.
“Lorraine, we’re glad to have you on the team this year. Incidentally, our theme for this competition revolves around the iPhone.”
“Ahhh, okay,” she replied.
“Can we use your phone as a model?” Wendell joked.
“Look, I’m not the only employee who owns one of these things.”
“Yeah, but you’re the only one whose phone rings off the hook . . . or should I say off the table?” Wendell quipped as Lorraine’s phone twirled in a circle on the conference table from the vibrations and fell over the edge. Wendell reached out his hand and caught the phone before it hit the floor.
“Wendell!”
He smiled and tossed the phone into the air, then caught it in his hand.
“Here ya go.” He slid it across the table to her. “You may want to learn how to silence your phone.”
When the meeting concluded, Natalie strolled down the hallway and accompanied Lorraine to her office.
“I can’t believe how he was acting during the meeting,” Lorraine said.
“I can. That’s how he behaves when he’s feeling a woman.”
“Stop playing. That man isn’t feeling me.”
“He is feeling you, and believe me, he will be feeling on you, too.”
“Natalie, you know you’re wrong.”
“We’ll see how wrong I am.”
Lorraine reached their office before Wendell did and promptly began sorting through a stack of papers on her desk.
She heard Wendell enter the room but she remained focused on her search.
“How can you stand to work that way?” He pointed at four different paper piles on her desk. In addition, binders were spread across the surface, plus trade magazines, and a half-size set of drawings regarding a hospital interior renovation. Lorraine protectively placed her hand on her papers. “Excuse me, but it would do you good to not make comments about my desk. Believe it or not, I know where everything is.”
“Do you, now?”
“Of course I do,” she huffed. “A messy desk means you’re a very busy person.”
“Sure it does.” He tossed back his head and laughed. He smirked at Lorraine, then went to sit at his desk.
“Hold up a minute, Wendell. I don’t like how you’re insinuating that I’m messy. I-I mean, I am a bit untidy, but what’s it to you?”
“It’s a reflection of me, of EDC.”
“Give me a break, Wendell! That is so not true. If you’re going to talk to me, please tell me the truth because right now I’m having a hard time believing what you say. I’ve already been through this a million times—”
“Been through what?”
“Never mind. I shouldn’t have said anything. Got a lot on my plate is what I should have told you.”
“Being busy isn’t a good excuse.”
She bristled at his comments and struggled to contain her emotions. “Okay, you know what? I was starting to think you’re a pretty decent guy. But lately—no, make that specifically since we’ve begun to share offices—I sense you’ve been attacking me. I haven’t done anything to deserve this. It’s wrong, and it’s confusing.”
“Is it, now?”
“Will you please stop answering me with a question? I feel like you’re not taking me seriously.”
“Why should I take you seriously?”
“There you go again. Ooooh!” She took a deep breath and vigorously rubbed the corners of her forehead until the tension lessened. “I don’t think this is going to work.”
“What? Me being here with you in this little office? An office that’s no bigger than two huge walk-in closets?”
“It’s not the space and how confining it is, Wendell. To be honest, I don’t like how you try to act like you have it all together.”
“Never that. You just don’t know.”
“No, I know that your workspace is unrealistic.” She jumped up from her chair and pointed at his desk. “Nothing is out of place. That’s weird. Nobody is that perfect.”
“If you judge a person just because their desk is free of papers and pens and books and sticky notes, you don’t understand human nature. If you knew that underneath my dry-cleaned three-piece suit, shined leather shoes, and neat desk is a man who struggles to figure out why he’s on the earth each and every day, you wouldn’t say what you just said to me. You would know that the outward appearance is just a poor cover-up for everything inside that I’m afraid for people to see.”
Lorraine could only watch Wendell, who wore a somber look on his face as he cupped his head in his hands and his eyes widened. “If I am so perfect, why did she treat me the way she did? Why couldn’t she get that I was feeling her and I wanted to be with her for real but she didn’t believe me . . . thought I was just feeding her some BS? But I wasn’t.”
“Does ‘she’ have a name?”
“Does it really matter at this point? Look, I don’t mean to get all deep on you, but long story short, nothing is ever as it appears.”
Instantly she felt a mixture of sadness and compassion. It was true that most people didn’t view co-workers as people with lives outside the workplace. Many days people smiled and said they’re doing fine whenever they’re greeted, but who knew what type of hell they endured just to make it to work that day?
“Look, Wendell. I’m sorry for even bringing it up. It’s a stupid comment. Point is your work area can look however you want it to look. Seriously.”
“And you, young lady, have a right to do the same. I shouldn’t have said anything about your desk. I was out of line. You shouldn’t have even apologized. One thing I neglected to tell you is I-I can get a bit out of hand at times. I think I’ve now officially spoiled the perfect image you had of me, huh?” He sighed and went to slump in his chair.
6
Tell It Like It Is
After Lorraine and Wendell had their awkward conversation, for the rest of the week Lorraine felt as if she had to walk on eggshells around him. She desperately wanted to compensate for her insensitivity. On Friday, she decided to stop by a popular breakfast taco stand prior to coming to work.
When Lorraine arrived at their office, she was relieved that he wasn’t there. She immediately set the brown paper bag containing several food items on his desk. It didn’t take her long to locate his favorite coffee mug. Once she logged into her e-mail account, she decided enough time had passed and she strolled down the hall to the kitchen and fixed Wendell a steaming cup of brew.
She hurried back to the office and waited.
The second Wendell arrived at work and said hello to Lorraine, enticing aromas greeted him.
“Is this what I think it is?”
“Mm-hmm,” she said in the flirtiest tone she could muster. “Now open up that bag so I can watch you handle your business.”
“Oh woman, I swear, if we weren’t at work I’d pick you up and swing you around in a circle.”
“I can’t even see it,” she smirked. “But I think that’s your way of saying thank you, and you’re welcome. I didn’t buy myself any, but I’d love to get a tiny bite of your potato and egg taco.”
“Your wish is my command.” Smiling, Wendell opened the bag and picked up one homemade tortilla neatly wrapped in soft aluminum paper. The food was still warm and the sharp fragrance of cilantro filled the office.
“Mmm, cheese toppings, too. You did a great job, Lorraine.” He unwrapped a small portion of the food and thrust it at her. As she bit into the taco, he stared at her with such a dreamy expression she began giggling. Bits of scrambled egg flew from her mouth and landed on the carpet
ed floor. She covered her mouth with her fingers and laughed uncontrollably.
“I know what not to buy you in the morning,” he teased and leaned down to clean bits of egg off the floor. He rose up and grinned. “Glad to finally see a pretty smile on your beautiful face.”
“Oh Wendell. Please,” she said dismissively.
His eyes darkened and narrowed. “So you don’t believe me? Should I have said your ‘ugly’ face?”
“No,” she said indignantly. “You shouldn’t.”
“Then why would you give me a hard time when I’m coming from the heart?”
“Look, I didn’t mean—”
“I don’t understand why women accuse men of lying all the time. If we give you a genuine compliment, you blow us off or act all coy and stuff like you don’t know how to respond to kindness. A simple ‘thank you’ is usually the best answer.”
“Jeez, get a grip. I’m sorry. You’re being hypersensitive right now.” Feeling embarrassed, she swirled away from him, eager to return to her cube.
“Wait, no,” he said looking regretful. “Lorraine, I’ll admit it. I am feeling oversensitive these days. I-I guess this means we should have a little talk. There’s something you need to know.”
Wendell wheeled a guest chair across the floor and patted it so Lorraine could take a seat.
“You’re beginning to worry me,” she said, folding her arms over her chest.
“Don’t worry. It’s just that in the short time we’ve been around each other, I can tell you’ve never met a man like me. I guess I should say there’s more to me than meets the eye.”
“And you’re telling me this because . . . ?”
“The deal is this, as far as my personal relationships go. Wow, this isn’t easy to say, but”—he took a deep breath—“I-I met this chick that I caught feelings for and, needless to say, she affected me to a great extreme. Sometimes a woman can do that to you. You’ll be so into her, she blinds you to everything around you.”
Crush Page 21