Tasha's Got a Baby

by S Yvonne

  “We gon’ figure this out…” Pepper assured her friend in deep thought. However, Tasha knew she didn’t have time to just wait around and feel sorry. Hopping up from the bed, she wiped her eyes and walked over to her suitcase to pick out an outfit. She opted for a red and black pineapple Adidas outfit, which was a bodysuit with the matching shorts. Next, she pulled out her matching shoes, her bamboo styled earrings that had ‘Tasha’ going across the inside of the middle, and she grabbed her small Cuban link chain. “We going to Tru’s party… fuck it. I’ll be back, let me shower.” She ran off and Pepper didn’t question it… whatever she wanted to do, she was down cause they had to have each other’s backs.

  While in the shower, Tasha cared nothing about the 2-minute rule while scrubbing her body. She had mixed emotions as the salty tears cascaded down her face running into her mouth mixed with the hot shower water. To everybody on the outside she was Tasha from the projects, the hustler… but on the inside she was simply a broken little girl that wanted to live a normal life. Most didn’t know her real story but one day she’d tell it and have a great testimony. “On God… Imma make it out this shit.” She whispered and sighed while closing her eyes. She did the only other thing that gave her comfort, she sang. It started off as a slow melody… she hummed until her beautiful voice could be heard blaring through the door of her room and also outside the bathroom window. “Love, so many people use your name in vain. Love, those who have faith in you some times go astray. Love, through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt. Love, for better or worse I still will choose you first.” She sang one of Musiq Soulchild’s classic hits so beautifully that she didn’t realize that she had put on a show until she heard the claps coming from the other side of the open bathroom window.

  Sucking her teeth, she opened her eyes and slammed the window down before hopping out and drying off to get dressed. Pepper was still in her room and the rest of the apartment was quiet. “That was beautiful Tasha.”

  “Thanks.” She mumbled.

  “I really think you should do the talent show at the ‘Jackie Gleason Theater’ coming up… it’s some big money involved and a lot of exposure.” Pepper suggested. Tasha had actually been thinking about that lately but she just didn’t know how she would find the time and she didn’t wanna risk being booed or overlooked. She just didn’t think her heart could take that. It would be some good money, and singing was one of her biggest dreams… to one-day make it big is all she wanted.

  “I’ll think about it… I might.” She replied nonchalantly looking at her busted lip in the mirror. She grabbed some Vaseline off her dresser and winced a little while applying it. After she grabbed her stuff she and Pepper were out the door in no time.

  Four

  “We should’ve never came to this party…” Pepper smacked her teeth leaned up against the wall since Tru hadn’t come over and talk to her yet.

  “What’s yo problem?” Tasha danced around with a cup of liquor in her hand. Pepper was almost positive that was her second cup and normally Tasha wouldn’t drink at a party. It was only because of what was happening with her life that she thought she could drink the problems away. Pepper didn’t answer. “Ohhh I see, you trippin’ over Tru huh?” She teased.

  Pepper rolled her eyes trying to muffle a chuckle. “Nah, it’s not like I’m sweatin’ that nigga or nun’ like dat.” They both eyeballed him for a minute while Tasha gave her a funny look. “Aiight… shittt maybe a lil bit.” They high fived each other.

  “I sold all those damn birth control pills.” Tasha gulped the last little bit in the cup and tossed it. “Aye Tru! Let me get another one!” She slowly started to walk over to him.

  Pepper stopped her. “Nah bitch that’s enough, you don’t need to be drinking like this Tasha.”

  “Well you don’t tell me what to do Pepper.” She sassed trying to hold back tears cause the liquor made her emotional as fuck.

  “Yeah well I’m responsible for you since we came together.”

  “NO THE FUCK YOU’RE NOT!” Tasha found herself yelling over the music. Pepper balled her face up wanting to go off on Tasha but she knew it wasn’t her and it was the shit she was drinking.

  “Aye Aye… the fuck ya’ll got goin’ on over here? Lover’s Quarrel?” Tru walked up smelling all-good draping his arm around Pepper’s neck.

  “Nah…” Pepper hissed, “she tripping… but where the food at?” She walked away with Tru leaving Tasha standing there.

  “Yeah whatever!” She yelled behind them. “Go then!” Finding herself sitting in a chair in the corner, her head was spinning while she watched everybody around her dancing. Visions of the way her mama attacked her replayed in her mind over and over no matter how bad she tried to shake it and the liquor wasn’t helping, it was only making it worse.

  “Get up.” She heard a familiar voice looking up into the face of QUA. Immediately hopping up she was happy to see him as she put her head into his chest and cried. As mad at her as he wanted to be… he just couldn’t no more. Besides, he knew he wasn’t perfect either. He indulged in all kinda shit with other girls that he knew Tasha wouldn’t approve of. “I’m sorryyyy… I’m so sorry….” She cried.

  QUA didn’t know what to do, he only wished that she would talk to him and stop hiding whatever else was going on with her. Although only 16, he wanted to protect her from whatever she was hiding but the fact that he couldn’t was making him feel like shit. “I’ma catch up with ya’ll.” He told the group of boys he was with; they’d just came off the block and was fresh into the party. Walking Tasha to a open bathroom he closed and locked her door. Sitting on the lid of the toilet, he sat her on his lap and wiped her tears. “Tasha, what’s wrong man? What’s goin’ on wit’ you?”

  She took a deep breath and sighed. “QUA I don’t wanna talk right now but I promise I will.” She closed her eyes and slowly started removing his belt buckle. Although he wanted to stop her, he couldn’t cause he knew he was just as weak for her. Both wrapped up in their own thoughts as she slowly rode his dick right there until they were both satisfied. Tasha’s perky titties were still hanging out when they heard a commotion coming from the other side of the door. She hopped up quickly. “What’s that?”

  “Let me see…” He peak his head out of the door. “Fuck! It’s a raid! It’s the police.” He rushed to flush the weed he had on him down the toilet.

  “I knew this shit was gon’ happen!” Tasha yelled and before she could say anything else the door was being bust down.

  “Get out! Get out with your hands up!” Officer Ralph forcefully pushed her and QUA out of the bathroom and on to the floor where cuffs were being placed on them.

  “Yo Unc! You ain’t gotta be doing this shit right here! We ain’t even do shit!” QUA yelled to Ralph. He didn’t know why his uncle hated him so much. In his heart, he felt it was jealousy.

  “No! You shut the fuck up! You don’t gotta be doing this shit here Quajay!” He snarled looking at him in disgust. “Just another young black ass nigga… a product of your environment.”

  “Man fuck you…” QUA hissed.

  He was met with a swift kick to his mid section watching his only nephew wince in pain. “Watch yo fucking mouth.”

  Once they were down, he whispered in Tasha’s ear. “You missed our meeting.” Smirking, he walked away back into the bathroom. “It’s more drugs in here!” He yelled out.

  Tasha’s eyes bounced around the room searching for Pepper just in time to see her and Tru being hauled out and in no time, they were in the back of a paddy wagon. Once they were down at the station, she and QUA locked eyes and again there was that look; that look of disappointment that he couldn’t save her. They were all separated until someone was able to pick them up. All of them except for Tasha.

  They called her name in less than an hour to be released, after they questioned her over and over about whose drugs belonged to whom and who was who. Who’s the head of this and who was responsible for that. “I don’t know sh
it… ain’t seen shit and I’m not telling shit. I’m not no fucking snitch now call my mama to get me out of here.” She spat sobering up giving nothing besides attitude. After a while it was pointless.

  Making her way to be release she had to stop and hold her breath when she heard Officer Ralph talking to his sergeant. “Yeah, her mother is sickly, she’s a very close friend of the family. I’ll make sure she gets home.”

  “I shouldn’t be doing this because you’re not a guardian Ralph. You know the rules.” The white haired, dark skin man replied to him signing off on some paperwork for him.

  “Hey man… a favor for a favor. I’ll make sure the wife bakes you an extra sweet potato pie for the holidays this year.” He grabbed his coat and stared at Tasha. He wasn’t sure exactly what his infatuation with her was. He knew that he was wrong but in his eyes Tasha didn’t carry herself like a child… she was beautiful but a true product of the ghetto; a project rat. He’d been unhappy in his marriage for years and at 40 years old divorce wasn’t an option because he had too much to lose and it was cheaper to keep her. Tasha thought she was a sex slave but to him she was much more than that… what started off as a black mail slowly turned into a strong lust and somewhere deep down inside a deep care. He lay next to his wife at night while thinking about Tasha… a child. He wanted to stop this but every time he tried he couldn’t find the urge. He wanted to just take care of her now, not be looked at with hate in her eyes for him.

  “You hungry?” He asked as she sat silently in his patrol car while he drove back to the projects. She didn’t say shit to him, just stared blankly out the window. “I just helped you out… the least you can do is say thank you Tasha.” He told her in frustration with his deep voice.

  “Thanks.” She mumbled dryly wishing he’d just shut the fuck up and let her out but one look at him and she knew what he wanted… she knew what he was about to do, especially since they didn’t pull up to the projects… they pulled up to “the spot.”

  “What happened to your lip? Did Quajay hit you?” He questioned taking his finger trying to brush it over her lip. Flinching, she pulled away from him. “I’m not gon’ hurt you.”

  She shook her head staring out the window tryna fight back tears. “How much longer you gonna use me? What if QUA finds out?”

  “QUA can’t do shit for you, including keeping your ass outta jail.” It pissed him off that she even brought him up. She knew that was the rule. QUA should never come up.

  She sucked her teeth.

  Being the she was on her ass broke again, she knew she’d be on the block heavy, which meant she needed him in order to not get caught. Swallowing the lump in her throat she looked from the building and then back to him before he got out slowly following behind.

  Since she still had juices of QUA on her from the party earlier she was forced to wipe herself down with an old rag and some wipes before laying her body on the dusty mattress where she closed her eyes and became his playground.

  Five

  “Arghhhh!” Tasha leaned over the toilet with her head sunken down in toilet bowl, while draping both her arms over the sides. Sweat perspired down her face, as the smooth, warm liquid made its way from the pit of her stomach before flying out of her mouth.

  Pepper paced the other side of the bathroom door in a panic. “Yo what’s wrong with you Tash? You’ve been throwing up for weeks now. What’s wrong?” She frowned with worry wrinkles in her forehead hearing the sounds of the door unlock alarming her to go ahead and walk in. Tasha was sprawled out on the floor as Pepper ran to her side. “Shit girl… you look a damn mess! You better not have been trying none of them drugs you sell or else I’ll beat ya ass myself.”

  The more Pepper spoke, the worse Tasha’s headache got. She felt Pepper was talking nonsense cause she knew damn well Tasha would never try no shit like that. She was right about one thing though, she’d indeed been throwing up for weeks and hadn’t seen her period in two months. She was just scared to take a damn test cause she didn’t wanna have to face that reality. She was in no position to be having a baby and even risking not knowing who the baby’s father was.

  “You should take a pregnancy test or something… it’s either that or the drugs.” Pepper insisted.

  “It ain’t no damn drugs!” Tasha hissed wiping her face.

  “Aiight bet….” Pepper pulled out her phone dialing a number. “Hey Tru… um yeah.. I know I was suppose to been called you back but something came up. I got you… I promise.” She rolled her eyes. “Listen, I need you to bring a pregnancy test to my house as soon as you can.”

  Tasha spun around and tried to grab her phone. “Bitch are you crazy?? He’s gone tell QUA!” She whispered in her ear with her face balled up.

  Pepper fell back and shook her head, “No he’s not…” She assured her and continued talking to Tru. “Yeah, it’s for me, who else would it be for? Don’t act like the condom never broke on us before… I just want to be sure… okay see you in a minute.”

  Twenty minutes later, Tru was at Pepper’s door with a test. “You gon’ let me in?” He asked looking at her crazy. Hell, he wanted to know the results just as bad as her cause he wasn’t ready for no damn kids.

  “Un Un.” She pushed him out. “My mama has already been tripping lately.” She reached up kissing his lips before pushing him out locking the door. She was glad that he didn’t put up much a fight. When she turned around Tasha was staring at her crazy. “I know I know…” Pepper held up one hand walking past her back in the bathroom. “I ain’t even tell you I was even fucking him on the regular.”

  “You damn sho didn’t… lil hoe.” Tasha managed to chuckle as she snatched the test and opened it. Pepper leaned against the door. “You gonna watch me take the test Pepper?” She asked.

  She nodded her head. “Um hmm, yep.”

  Tasha shook her head as she nervously unbuckled her pants and pulled her panties down. She did exactly as the instructions said and then patiently waited until the words “Positive” read on the test. “Oh shit… oh shit… fuck man… fuck!” She pulled strands of her bundles biting down on her bottom lip so hard she was sure she drew blood.

  “What you gone do Tasha? And who baby you think it is?”

  “Pepper, I don’t even know… I don’t know what I’m gon’ do but I can’t tell nobody.”

  “And how long you think that’s gonna last before you start showing?” Pepper questioned looking at Tasha’s flat belly. Nothing about her appearance even gave a sign she was pregnant. There was a pause before they were both distracted from the ringing of Pepper’s phone. It was Tru. “Tru… it’s fine… I’m fine, it came back negative.” She assured him. “We good… I’ll meet with you later aiight? Okay… bet.”

  Tasha tossed the test, washed her hands and grabbed her bag. “It’s late… I gotta hit the block in a few.”

  “Maybe you should rest tonight.” Pepper suggested.

  She shook her head as she reached in her bag to make sure the tiny bags of crack were there. “Nah, I wish… I gotta make money to pay my half of bills and make sure I’m good. I’ll catch you later.” She put her Wilson bomber on and brought her hoodie up over her head.

  By the time she got on the block it was still people everywhere as usual but that didn’t stop her from doing her thing. Sitting on the bench with her hands in the jacket pockets, she remained aware of her surrounding but she truly didn’t feel well knowing that she had to push that to the back of her mind and stay focused. “What you need?” She asked the crack head standing in front of her… one of her regulars. Skinny Nita had been on crack for years and looked a mess.

  “You know…” She sniffed real jumpy as her eyes bounced around.

  Tasha collected the money before giving her the product as she walked skinny Nita walk away with a look of disgust on her face. She promised she’d never even play around with that shit after witnessing first hand what it did to people, especially her mama. She battled with herself everyday tryna figure out
how to get off the block, but if she didn’t make the money none of them would have a place to stay.

  She looked around caring nothing about the young couple engrossed in a full fist fight in front of her, or the bad ass kids playing tag on the playground when they should’ve been in the building some damn where, nor did she care about the thugs or the lurkers. Her goal was one thing and that was the green. When she was all out of product, she got up ignoring a call from Ralph. Lately, she’d been igging him and she knew the shit would catch up with her but he’d been real weird… not only wanting her sex but wanting her time and she hated his ass.

  Not risking getting robbed, she ran all the way to her building until she got to her door where she let herself in only to see her mama sprawled out on the couch strung the fuck out… and shit was everywhere. Her boyfriend lay next to her. Tasha wanted to throw the fuck up again as she walked to him using all he strength she had bringing her foot to his body with a swift kick. “This shit all your punk ass fault!” She hissed ready for a fight. He was so strung out he barely felt the shit, he couldn’t move. She grabbed her bags and walked to her room closing her door.

  Dropping the bags she grabbed a plastic bag off of her dresser and stuck her head in it, “Arghhh!!” She spit it all up trying to catch her breath. “Fuck! I don’t have the stomach for this block shit no more!” She yelled to herself. It was literally even making her sick to her stomach. She decided she’d tell QUA everything, she was tired of being abused and hiding shit. Tired of being forced to be an adult, just fucking tired.

  “QUA!” She yelled his name in the phone as soon as he answered. “Come to my apartment please. But don’t come to the front door. Use the fire hydrant and come to the window.” She told him before hanging up. Fuck it… she thought. She was gonna tell him about the pregnancy and Ralph’s bitch ass. Sitting on the bed, her body trembled as she wrapped her arms around herself waiting to face whatever may happen.