Arlene never thought she was being unfaithful by letting other men fuck her. She felt nothing emotional for them. It was just a need or a habit she sometimes thought she couldn’t break. Her bouts of sex were something to fill in the time. Like a smoker and the tenth cigarette of the day, they were barely noticed. Still, the idea of going without was too much to bear.
She wondered how she would be if Zach lived beside her. Would she be happy with only him? The idea made her tremble appreciatively when she woke Zach with her mouth and climbed on top of him. He grasped her waist as she gathered speed.
The thought of Zach made her agree to come to work early for Jade, who needed to be touched in the same way. Arlene knew Christian could do that.
* * * *
The ball of worry in Nikki’s stomach had grown since she spoke to Sarah. She wished she hadn’t said anything to her, but knew Jade would be more likely to agree if accompanied by the bigger and more physical Sarah than with her.
Sarah had been in a bad mood for days now. The night she and Michele worked together it wasn’t pretty. They had yelled for a while, and when Sarah broke down crying, Michele had merely rolled her eyes. Nikki always found Michele’s confidence and sexiness overwhelming, but her honesty was fearsome.
“Why did you do it?” Sarah had started attacking Michele the minute she came into the courtyard, startling Nikki. She stood with legs apart and hands on hips.
Still Michele, smoking in her chair, had seemed more threatening. “I just told Jo the truth.”
“How dare you decide what is true with me or not? It’s not your place.”
Michele had looked hard at her. “Can you honestly say I was wrong?”
Nikki had seen Sarah’s conflict. The girl’s mouth opened but nothing came out. The intense stare waiting to buffet it was stronger.
“You had sex with a girl. So what? It’s about time you started to be honest with yourself. Stop running away.”
Nikki had risen at that point and stepped past Sarah, trying to ignore the quiver of her lips.
“You loved your boss. And when he dumped you, you turned it all around, didn’t you?” Michele had not waited for an answer. “Do you pretend all the clients watching you are him?”
The lack of argument had made the air heavy.
The next day, Nikki asked Sarah to help Christian and saw stone in Sarah’s eyes. “Okay, we’ll see how genuine he is.” Sarah pushed her breasts out in challenge.
“What are you going to do?” Nikki’s voice was low with anxiety.
The hardness in Sarah’s expression wavered with her smiling lips. “Never mind.”
Nikki watched Sarah walk away. The sway of her hips was overdone and Nikki knew she’d made a mistake asking Sarah to help. After her argument with Michele, Sarah seemed to look at everything differently. She scowled at Nikki as if she wanted to make her feel small and insignificant, and Nikki couldn’t discard the feeling that Sarah would want to do the same to Jade and not hesitate in using Christian to do it.
Nikki decided she would meet Jade at the train station and talk to her before she met Sarah. If she told Jade about what happened with Sasha and Manuel, it might force her to look at her own relationship. She was clutching at straws but she was sure Jade wasn’t happy, especially since she’d already admitted her partner wasn’t faithful.
She could see Christian was genuinely interested in Jade and couldn’t let Sarah’s foul mood ruin everything.
* * * *
Kate felt good as she got dressed. The smile on her face came from the new notion of her appeal, which had eluded her in this house. She wondered if her confidence rose because of the arousal she’d inspired in Colin or her ability to walk away from him and close the door last night. She looked at herself in the mirror and decided it was the latter. Still, stepping away from her reflection, she knew what she had gained was like a house of cards. It could be easily blown away or brushed aside if she let Colin trample her.
She walked down her pathway with her chin held high. The sun was warm on her face. The slam of her neighbor’s front door only last week would have made her jump, and Jeanne running toward her would have made her lips twitch with excuses about why she was leaving the house with a bag on her back. It would have propelled her inside for cover. Now she felt firm, though there was a small tremble of distaste with the beatific smile on Jeanne’s face.
“I’m so glad I caught you,” Jeanne said between heavy breaths.
Kate tilted her head, waiting, and thought Jeanne must have felt something within her because her neighbor stopped abruptly and her smile narrowed. Like a tug of war, Kate knew she was gaining something somewhere.
“I don’t want to alarm you.” Jeanne looked as if she was trying to get control back, but Kate just nodded and received a sigh in return. “Last night, there was a car parked outside your house for two hours. I thought it strange since a friend would have called you. Whoever it was didn’t even try the door.”
Realization flashed within Kate, and she shivered with the memory of the impatient voice and the abrupt finish of the phone call.
“Were you expecting someone?”
“No.”
“Here, I have the car details here and the license number, just in case. You can never be too careful.”
Kate took the slip of paper offered to her. “Thanks.”
Jeanne nodded but stayed still. Kate could see the concern moving to the fore before it dropped, like an eavesdropper disappointed with silence.
“I have to go.” Kate stepped away from her neighbor’s dumb curiosity without another word and glanced at the details before placing them in her pocket. She wouldn’t think about those numbers now and why, instead of making her break down, they felt like armor.
* * * *
When she stepped out of the train station and saw Nikki, Kate smiled. “Hi.”
“Hey, you. How was your weekend?”
“Fine.”
Nikki looked worried. “Did you have a good one with your yucky partner?”
“Who said he was yucky?”
Nikki gave her an oh, come on expression.
Kate laughed. “Were you waiting for me?”
“Yes. I never got to tell you what happened with Sasha and Manuel.”
“You could’ve told me at work.”
“I didn’t want people to hear.”
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
Kate studied the small girl dubiously and received a too-wide smile in return. When she started to walk, Nikki stopped her with a hand on her arm. She seemed nervous. “What?”
“We put Manuel to the test.”
“We’re going to be late.”
“It’ll be fine.” Nikki led her to a bench and they sat.
“Go on then, since you’re dying to tell me.”
“When I talked to Sasha that time for hours, she confessed she was finding it really hard to share him, and she was sorry for taking it out on me but it seemed easier than confronting him. He hadn’t mentioned me in a few days, but she could tell he wanted a threesome again, and she felt like she was no longer enough.”
“But it was her idea.”
“No, it wasn’t. I thought it was but he’d brought it up. He told her he’d love to see her make love to someone else because he wanted to get a full view of her in the act. To see her beautiful body in an orgasm would be thrilling for him.
“A few nights after he asked her, he was on top of her, and each time he brought her close to orgasm, he stopped and teased her with the tip of his penis. It was driving her to the brink of insanity. He kept begging her to let him watch her being fucked, and eventually she gave in. Only later, he told her he would be too jealous to see her with a man and it would have to be a woman. They picked me.”
“If I remember correctly, he didn’t exactly watch.”
“Yeah, we were all so drunk that first time, so she didn’t blame him. The second time, they led me into the bedroom.
Manuel took off my top and pulled my skirt off, and his mouth grazed my crotch. When he slid his hand inside my panties, I was wet from expectancy, even before he grabbed Sasha and kissed her. He continued to caress me as I watched them and I saw his erection bulge. I couldn’t resist going inside his shorts and feeling his penis, but he took my hand away and placed it on Sasha’s crotch, then he sat on a chair that was against the wall, to watch.
“He’d done enough work already, turning me on with his touches, and the fleeting feel of his cock had made me hungry for sex, so I explored her with eager hands. I plunged my fingers deep inside her and imagined fucking her. She moaned when I pulled her slip off and kissed her breasts while rubbing her moist edges. Manuel held his penis in his hands, and the sight of it made me so excited I pushed Sasha onto the bed and separated her legs. I started to lick her, and her groans made me go faster. She tasted sweet.” Nikki paused. “You okay? You look worried.”
“No, I’m okay.” Before two years ago, Nikki’s story would have made Kate want to get home to Colin straight away and feel him inside her. She thought of her recent intimacy with her husband. It had done nothing for her, and these three strangers had driven each other crazy. Nikki’s words installed in her stomach but ended there. She wished they’d move further down.
“What are you thinking?”
“I wish I could feel something.” Kate was surprised to see Nikki’s smile and it angered her.
“Maybe you’re imagining the wrong person.”
The accuracy doused her annoyance. “Another psychologist in my midst.”
Nikki laughed.
“So what happened?”
“What happened is Manuel took me from behind as Sasha trembled under me, and though I was delighted, Sasha wasn’t. She didn’t want to think he was being dishonest with her. They’d been together two years, so each time it happened, she blamed me. When we talked told her that honestly I like fucking her boyfriend but would never do it without her consent. She asked, ‘Would he?’ We decided to find out.
“The next day, she said she was working late, and I called him and asked him to my place. I told him I needed to talk about Sasha. He accepted quickly, and within a half hour, he was at my door. When I opened it, I hadn’t the chance to smile before he had me against the wall with his hand up my skirt. I felt his erection, and if Sasha wasn’t in the other room, I wouldn’t have been able to resist.”
“Bold.”
“I know. Sasha came out and threw herself at him, yelling and screaming. Let’s just say the next few moments weren’t pretty.”
“And that was that?”
“Yeah, she went back home to Brisbane so Danielle’s taking over. Oh!” She jumped in her seat. “Did you hear Aisling went off with that client of hers, the one we let her have?”
Kate laughed. “No way.”
“Yeah, she came in the other day as if she’d won the lotto to say goodbye. She wore her weird leopard skin thingy, and she even pushed her breasts up with her hands, like this.” Nikki mimicked the gesture. “A real heave-ho, which means she had to have been a man. No real woman would do that.”
Kate shook with laughter. Nikki didn’t speak until she was still. “So the moral of the story is always put your man to the test.”
Her advice was spoken lightly but it made Kate flinch.
“Jade, hey, I’m sorry.”
With her bag’s strap over her shoulder, Kate stood and managed to smile. “I don’t think he would pass.” She started to walk but stopped abruptly so Nikki bumped into her. When she looked back, the smile was gone. “And I don’t know if I care anymore.”
* * * *
Kate saw Christian leaning against a pole outside the parlor. With his arms crossed and his head down, he seemed to be studying his shoes with intensity. She turned with squinting eyes to Nikki, who merely raised her brows and shrugged. Then Kate saw Sarah, crouching against the wall opposite Christian and stopped. The girl in the long dress made her more worried than the man. Sarah’s expression was severe, her lips tight, and she understood he was trying not to meet Sarah’s gaze.
“What’s going on?” Kate asked.
Christian smiled and walked to her as Sarah stood. “Don’t be mad, but I had an idea.” He smiled at Nikki. “And Nikki thought it was a good one.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yes.” He paused and his gaze moved over Kate’s face appreciatively. “You look lovely.”
She wanted to walk past him but couldn’t. It was not Sarah looking at her with a forced smile, Nikki’s gentle presence or Christian, whose face had fallen slightly so his lips were in a straight, worried line that made her stay. It was the paper in her jeans pocket screaming You have nothing to lose.
Christian continued quickly, as if her stillness was an egg timer. “I would never hurt you, but I understand you don’t know me well enough to trust me. That’s why I asked Sarah to come with us. She’ll stay while I draw you or for as long as you need until you feel safe.”
“Safe,” Kate growled. Colin had never used that word. “What do you know about safe?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know anything about how you feel.”
You can’t go out. You aren’t able for that. Why had her husband assumed he knew what she needed when he had never asked?
“I have to work.” Her voice was soft and pliable.
“Arlene came in for you.” Nikki sounded excited. “At ten.”
Kate turned to Nikki, surprised. “Everyone planned for this?”
“Kate.” Christian mentioning her real name made Kate fold. “Trust me.”
* * * *
They walked to his apartment in the same silence as the last time. Kate relaxed, walking beside him. Even Sarah’s silent, heavy presence couldn’t bring her down. Sarah’s dark blue, sleeveless dress had buttons from her neck to her toes, and she walked with a confidence Kate found a little disconcerting. With her head and shoulders back, the contours of her body were hard to ignore. Under the thin fabric, Kate could make out the full roundness of her breasts. Not surprisingly, Sarah received glances from passing men. After a few minutes, Sarah fell behind, and when Kate looked back, she noticed the other girl’s gaze was focused on Christian’s ass, and there was a sly, mischievous smile on her face Kate could not trust.
By the time they arrived at the apartment, Sarah oozed sex appeal, her blue eyes hazy and her mouth slightly opened. When he was opening the door, Christian looked at Sarah and flinched, as if he was surprised to see her standing so close. Kate knew he felt as uncomfortable by her presence as she did, yet she was worried. When Sarah was in form, Kate could never beat her in the parlor and would not try to beat her now.
Christian putting his hand on her arm brought her back to him, and his bright blue eyes eased her. “Okay?”
Kate nodded, and Christian brushed a strand of hair from her forehead before going up the steps leading to his studio apartment, followed by the two girls. Kate stopped at the top of the stairs and took in the room. She loved the light and space in it. One wall had three large windows. Sun spilled in on an L-shaped couch in the middle of the floor. There were sketches all around the couch and the table in front of it. The ceiling was high. Canvases lined the walls. They had been turned, shame-faced, inward.
The studio’s main colors were brown and red and gave the area an earthly feel. It was cluttered so it took a moment to notice her portrait on the couch. It looked more intimate there than if it had been on an easel and made her freeze, as if what lay there was a real woman.
Christian went to the painting quickly, apologizing for leaving it there until he turned to see her smiling at him. He put it against the wall like all the other canvases but faced it out, seductive from the floor. “Do you want coffee or anything?”
Kate shook her head, relaxing. In this bright, high-ceilinged room with parts of him lying all around him, she wanted Christian. She knew she wouldn’t be able to think this without Sarah, who was lifting the pain
tings away from the wall and studying them with confusion before placing them back. The security of the extra presence let her be honest in a way she never had been when it was just the two of them.
On the third painting, Sarah shook her head. “What did you do?” She went to the next one without waiting for an answer.
Christian didn’t react to Sarah’s perturbed curiosity as Kate’s gaze moved down his body slowly. She wanted to freeze this moment, when they stood fully clothed and yet so open to one another. Her skin tingled and she knew his did too—she could see it in his deep breaths. She knew they would have stood there for a long time if Sarah had not moved forward and broken the spell. “What did you do to your paintings?”
He kept his gaze on Kate. “I didn’t do it.”
“Most of them are slashed.”
He shook his head.
Sarah smiled. “Why did you keep them?”
“As a reminder.”
When he turned to Sarah, she straightened. “Where do you want her?” Sarah’s tone was like steel.
“Wherever she wants.
“The window,” Kate told him.
He nodded.
Kate walked to the window and turned. When she saw he hadn’t moved, worry crept onto her face. “I’m not getting naked.”
“Oh, go on,” Sarah teased. “I’m here.”
Kate looked at her and wondered what the other girl was playing at.
Christian didn’t seem to hear Sarah. “That’s okay. I want to draw your face.”
“That’s a great idea.” Sarah kept her challenging gaze on Kate as she moved her hands to her buttons. Christian had gone into the small cubicle off the main room, which acted as a kitchen, and picked a sketchbook from the table.
Sarah opened three buttons. “Draw Kate’s face and my body.”
But Christian’s attention was on Kate, whose blood turned to ice. She gave a smile but it came out disappointed.
“Stay like that,” Christian demanded as he put pencil to paper, and Sarah’s dress dropped to the floor. Kate couldn’t help but look. “Kate, keep still.”
Did he really not see the beautiful, half-naked girl in her yellow g-string and bra? The color brought out the smoothness of Sarah’s skin and accentuated the long, firm legs and breasts? Her nipples peeked from under the fabric.
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