by Joanne Levy
I stopped at the car door. “What do you mean? You’re not coming home?”
“Sorry, honey,” Dad said, opening his door and getting into the car. He waited until we were inside and buckled up before he went on. “Just because I volunteer here doesn’t mean the work at my clinic stops. I have a lot to catch up on.”
“You should get a break, though,” I said. “It’s Sunday; the clinic isn’t even open!”
He sighed. “It’s different when it’s your own business. I do so much more than just taking care of animals. Paperwork. Staff scheduling. Billing.”
“But you’re never around. And you’re probably going to be late for dinner. Again.”
“Kat . . .” He looked at Tyler in the mirror, and I knew he didn’t want me to say things in front of him, but I couldn’t help it. Dad worked too much; I wasn’t the only one who thought so.
“But you’re late all the time.” I didn’t mean for my voice to come out sounding so whiny, but it did.
“Kat. Let’s talk about this later, okay?” His voice wasn’t mad, exactly, but I could tell he wasn’t happy.
I looked out the window and fought the tears that wanted to come. The silence in the car felt weird, but there wasn’t anything else I could say that wouldn’t make Dad angry.
“Kat?” Tyler said from the back seat. “Why don’t you bring your homework over when we get home? We can work on math together.”
“Okay,” I said, hating that my voice was kind of squeaky but liking that he still wanted me to come over. And that maybe he understood that what I really needed right then, if I couldn’t have my dad, was a best friend. “Thanks.”
Later, after we had ice cream and Dad dropped us off, I told Tyler I was exhausted and needed a nap, so I never did go over with my homework. He seemed disappointed and I wanted to tell him that it meant a lot that he’d invited me, but didn’t know how to without explaining that it was too weird.
He texted me later that night when I was actually struggling through the homework on my own, but I lied and told him Laura had helped me with it and I was all done. I felt bad about lying to him, and I’m not even sure he believed me, but how could I explain why I couldn’t be alone with him?
Chapter 10
ON TUESDAY MORNING IN FIRST period, we were supposed to be writing in our daily journals (I was actually staring at the wall, thinking about Hector: Ninja Cat) when a folded-up paper landed on my notebook. It startled me, but when I saw it was a note, I covered up my movement with a pretend shiver. A glance at the teacher—Ms. Ghosh—told me she hadn’t noticed and was busy looking at her iPad.
I looked over in the direction it had come from and wasn’t surprised to see Zoe—one of my not-best-friend friends—smiling at me and looking excited. Clearly, she was behind whatever was on that paper.
I glanced over on the other side of me at Livvy. She waggled her eyebrows and then looked down at the paper in front of me—her way of telling me silently to look at it. She and Zoe walked to school together sometimes, so I had a feeling that, whatever it was, both of them were in on it.
I coughed to cover up the crinkling of the paper as I unfolded the note.
***!!!! PRIVATE !!!!***
IF YOUR NAME IS NOT ZOE, OLIVIA, KAT, OR JASMINE, DO NOT READ.
If your name IS Zoe, Olivia, Kat, or Jasmine, you must be honest or you will be cursed for all of eternity!
Who is your crush? ____________________________
Why? ____________________________
Does he like you? ____________________________
Are you going to the dance with him? __________
How many times will you dance with him? (slow songs) ____________________________
How many times will you dance with him? (fast songs) ____________________________
What are you wearing to the dance? __________
Once you are done, pass your quiz to the next person.
IF YOU ARE NOT ZOE, OLIVIA, KAT, OR JASMINE AND YOU HAVE READ THIS FAR, YOU WILL BE CURSED FOR ALL OF ETERNITY!!!
Ugh. So I was supposed to answer this and then pass it to Livvy so she could fill it out and then pass it on to Jasmine. While I realized Zoe had put a lot of work into this, there was no way I was filling this out. Not in a million years. I’d rather be cursed for all of eternity.
So instead of doing it, I smiled at Zoe, folded up the paper, and, after checking to make sure Ms. Ghosh wasn’t looking, tossed it to Olivia.
Olivia grabbed it and was going to toss it back to me, mouthing, YOU first! but I quickly shook my head.
No, I mouthed back to her.
You have to!
Uh, no I don’t, I thought, looking toward the front of the room and especially avoiding looking at Tyler, who sat two seats behind me in the next row over. Olivia continued to try to get my attention: coughing, fake sneezing, tapping her foot. When none of that worked, she asked if she could go to the bathroom, which I knew was a sign that I should meet her there so we could talk.
My responses to her attempts to get my attention were, in order: (1) ignore, (2) say “gesundheit,” (3) ignore, and (4) stay in my seat.
Instead I returned to my journal. I was going to write about my first day working at the shelter, but I was so frazzled about the quiz/note that I couldn’t focus very well. Why had Zoe included me anyway? She knew I didn’t care about this stuff.
A few minutes later Olivia returned to the room, and I could feel her glaring at me as she walked down the row toward our desks. She sat heavily in her chair, letting out a big sigh.
“Olivia, is there a problem?” Ms. Ghosh said, sounding annoyed.
“No, Ms. Ghosh,” Livvy said.
“Well, then, back to your journal entry,” the teacher said. “Ten more minutes, everyone.”
But instead of returning to her writing, Olivia slipped the folded note out of her book and opened it. She turned her head toward me, and I resisted looking at her, watching out of the corner of my eye as she started filling it out. Several looooong minutes later—while I waited for her to finish—the note landed in front of me again.
I turned toward Olivia. No! I mouthed.
Why? she mouthed back.
Why? Ugh. I couldn’t even tell her why I wouldn’t—couldn’t—fill it out. I tried to make my face not be so hot, but I might as well have willed myself to sprout wings and fly out of the classroom.
She nodded toward the paper. Well, I guessed I could at least see what she’d written. But did I really want to? Curiosity got the best of me, and I slowly unfolded the note as quietly as possible.
***!!!! PRIVATE !!!!***
IF YOUR NAME IS NOT ZOE, OLIVIA, KAT, OR JASMINE, DO NOT READ.
If your name IS Zoe, Olivia, Kat, or Jasmine, you must be honest or you will be cursed for all of eternity!
Who is your crush? TYLER LOT
Why? SO cute. Popular. Great hair.
Does he like you? Don’t know?????
Are you going to the dance with him? Y (Right, Kat?)
How many times will you dance with him? (slow songs) All of them
How many times will you dance with him? (fast songs) All of them
What are you wearing to the dance? A new dress!
Once you are done, pass your quiz to the next person.
IF YOU ARE NOT ZOE, OLIVIA, KAT, OR JASMINE AND YOU HAVE READ THIS FAR, YOU WILL BE CURSED FOR ALL OF ETERNITY!!!
I sighed. Now what?
“You have to do it,” Zoe whispered.
I glanced over at her and shook my head.
“You have to!”
I looked down at the paper, knowing there was no way out of it. I had a choice to make: I could make up fibs and be cursed for all of eternity, or I could tell the truth and be humiliated for all of eternity.
Obviously, I picked cursed.
***!!!! PRIVATE !!!!***
IF YOUR NAME IS NOT ZOE, OLIVIA, KAT, OR JASMINE, DO NOT READ.
If your name IS Zoe, Olivia, Kat, or Jasmine, you must b
e honest or you will be cursed for all of eternity!
Who is your crush? TYLER LOT Hector N. Cat
Why? SO cute. Popular. Cute. Ninja Skills
Does he like you? Don’t know????? Y. Especially at feeding time
Are you going to the dance with him? Y (Right, Kat?) He doesn’t dance—2 left feet. Ha ha ha.
How many times will you dance with him? (slow songs) All of them Does not apply
How many times will you dance with him? (fast songs) All of them Does not apply
What are you wearing to the dance? A new dress! Does not apply
Once you are done, pass your quiz to the next person.
IF YOU ARE NOT ZOE, OLIVIA, KAT, OR JASMINE AND YOU HAVE READ THIS FAR, YOU WILL BE CURSED FOR ALL OF ETERNITY!!!
I finished and folded up the paper, wondering how I was supposed to get it to Jasmine, who was way at the front of the room. There was no way I trusted any other kids to pass it along without reading it. I was about to put up my hand to ask to use the bathroom so I could drop it on her desk when Olivia leaned over and snatched it right off my desk.
I almost yelled out, “Hey!” but managed to stop myself. Luckily, Ms. Ghosh didn’t seem to notice that anything was amiss. I couldn’t do anything but watch as Olivia unfolded the note and read it before she looked at me.
“Really?”
I shrugged and grinned at her.
She rolled her eyes. No one? she mouthed, asking for my real answer to the questions.
I shook my head. It was a lie, but I couldn’t tell her the truth.
Over on the other side of the room TJ Stevens twirled his pen, drawing my attention. Apparently Olivia saw that as some sort of confession or something, because she turned and followed my eyes, then looked back at me. TJ?
I shook my head vigorously. No, I mouthed. Not TJ.
She tilted her head and lifted her eyebrows as if to say, Really?
Really, I mouthed. No crush on ANYONE.
She stared at me for a long, tense minute, and I didn’t think she was going to let it go. Finally, when I was ready to scream, she shrugged and folded the paper back up before she shoved it in her notebook—she’d have to wait until later to pass it to Jasmine.
I had never felt so relieved in all my life!
It had been a busy week for me, what with homework, dodging my sister, proving I didn’t have a crush on ANYONE, shelving books in the library, and trying to find time to work on my manga, so by the time Thursday came, I couldn’t believe the week was almost over. Although I couldn’t forget that the Fall Ball was in just over a week; I had Olivia’s many reminders of that fact.
Mostly because Tyler hadn’t asked her yet, and she was beginning to panic.
“Kat,” she said at lunch in the cafeteria before he arrived, “is he ever going to ask me?”
I glanced up from my gross tuna sandwich, which might as well have been a mayo sandwich (thanks to my dear older sister), and at Olivia, who looked like she was about to have a major meltdown.
“Why don’t you ask him?” I suggested. “That was your original plan, wasn’t it?”
She looked down at the non-sister-made sandwich in her hands. “Yeah, I guess. I just . . . I can’t tell if he likes me.”
I laughed, making her look up at me.
“What? What’s so funny, Kat?”
“Have you looked in a mirror? I mean, you’re so beautiful and graceful and everything. . . .”
She frowned and put down her sandwich. “What does that mean?”
Uh-oh. She actually looked upset. “I’m not trying to be mean, Livvy. Just that you’re . . .”
“What?”
“I don’t know. I guess I never thought you would ever have to worry about if a boy likes you. You’re kind of perfect.”
“What? No I’m not,” she said, her voice so quiet I almost didn’t hear her over all the noise in the cafeteria. “I’m not smart or artistic like you, and I don’t like books or all that stuff Tyler likes. You even said so yourself.”
She seemed really upset, and I hated that; I’d never meant to hurt her feelings. “But you’ve been reading and trying some of it. And please, I would give all of my drawing ability to be tall and graceful”—like a gazelle, I finished in my head.
She shrugged. “I guess . . . I . . .”
“Hey, Livvy!” Tyler said, dropping into the seat next to her, cutting off our conversation. I was relieved and sad at the same time. I didn’t want her to feel upset about things.
But as I glanced over at her, I noticed her face lit up as soon as he spoke to her.
“Hi!” she said. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, Kat. I filled out the online application for the animal shelter, and they said I could start this Sunday!”
It was the first I’d heard of her actually going through with applying. “Are you sure you want to do that?”
She gave me a quick look that said, Shhh! and then turned to Tyler. “I’m so excited to get started there. You know, I actually have a lot of experience with animals.”
You do? I thought, but kept my mouth shut.
“Oh yeah?” Tyler said as he pulled his lunch bag from his backpack.
“Yeah,” Olivia said. “My uncle has a farm with all sorts of animals: pigs, sheep, goats, and chickens. I worked there over the summer.”
I couldn’t believe the story she was making up. I mean, it was true about her uncle (on her mom’s side of the family) having a farm, and yes, she had spent some time there over the summer, but it had been like four days and she’d never left the ranch house the whole time! She’d texted me several times a day to tell me about all the shows she was watching on Netflix!
“That’s so cool,” Tyler said, obviously impressed. “Dogs and cats are probably way easier to take care of than farm animals.”
Olivia smiled and did a little wave. “They’ll be no problem. I’m something of an expert.”
An expert fibber, maybe.
“Tho hey,” Tyler slurred after he took a huge bite of sandwich. A sandwich that even had lettuce on it, lucky guy. “Do you want to come over and play Slashers tonight?”
Olivia’s eyes went wide in alarm as she looked at me, but she was worrying for nothing.
“Livvy can’t; she has dance-team practice,” I said.
“Oh yeah!” she said, obviously relieved. “I forgot about that. Why don’t you come watch?”
I almost laughed, because I knew for sure that Tyler would never be interested in watching a dance team. Not in a million years.
“Sure! That would be great,” he said, and then looked at me. “You’ll come too, right?”
I just stared at him for what felt like several very long seconds. He was smiling at me like dance was his new favorite thing and of course he’d want to go watch a bunch of gazelles practice.
“Oh, sure,” I said. “That sounds awesome.”
“Yay!” Olivia clapped her hands, a big grin on her face. She looked like she was about to bust out a cheer, but then seemed to realize what she was doing. She stopped clapping suddenly, quickly grabbed her sandwich, and took a bite.
Tyler was watching her, but the way he was smiling at her, I could tell he just thought it was another one of her adorable quirks. Not what it really was: an attempt to dampen her over-the-top enthusiasm because I had told her he didn’t like that kind of thing.
As I watched her, I felt bad for ever having told her to not be herself around Tyler. One of the things I loved about her was how bubbly and excited she got about things. But she was the one who wanted my help in getting Tyler to really notice her—in a good way—so getting her to bring herself down a notch (or ten) was important.
Still, it felt like she was taking away the best parts of who she was to make him notice her, and while it was what she said she wanted, I couldn’t help but wonder if she even really understood what that meant.
Later that night (after Livvy’s dance-team practice and another cold, late dinner, thanks to Dad) I was working o
n my manga in the kitchen, trying to get Ninja Hector just right, when I got a text from Tyler.
Tyler: want to come over?
I glanced at the clock on the microwave before I texted back. I only had an hour before bedtime. He knew that, so it was kind of weird that he’d invite me over now.
Kat: it’s too late to play.
Tyler: ok.
I could see he was typing by the three dots on the screen, but for the longest time no words came up. I waited.
And waited.
Then waited some more. Until I couldn’t stand it anymore.
Kat: ??
Tyler: Can I ask U a ?
Kat: Yep.
My heart started to pound in my chest. I couldn’t think of what he was going to ask, but I knew it had to be serious if he was asking if he could ask. That wasn’t like him. But my thumping, nervous heart knew: He was probably going to bust me and Olivia for all the ways she’d pretended to be someone she wasn’t and how I’d been her accomplice.
Tyler: . . .
Tyler: . . .
My head was about to explode from waiting, when his text finally came through.
Tyler: Are you avoiding me?
Okay, that was not at all what I had expected. But it made my heart pound as much as if he’d figured out what Olivia and I were doing. Because I was avoiding him. Sort of. Mostly because I couldn’t play Zombie Slashers with him without letting on that I’d pretended to be Olivia. Also there was that whole thing about how cute he’d gotten over the summer and how it made me feel squiggly inside to be around him, especially if it was just us. Just to be clear, squiggly isn’t a really good feeling. Especially when he and Olivia were like ten seconds away from being a couple. Which was what I wanted, of course—because if they were a couple, he and I would go back to being just friends, and my stupid crush feelings would go away.
As all of this went through my head, my phone vibrated in my hand, startling me out of my thoughts.
Tyler: Kat? You there?
Kat: ya, sorry. Just talking to mom. No. not avoiding you.
Tyler: you sure? You havnt been over to play video games and the scavenger hunt . . .