by SJ McCoy
He took a slug of his wine and stared out the window again. What if Renée hadn’t told him not to go? What if he’d gone anyway? Would Chloe still be alive? That question still ate him alive. He shrugged. “By morning, Chloe was dead. Kyle came into the marina in his dad’s boat. They’d taken it out. He said they’d been drinking and Chloe had fallen in and he couldn’t save her.” Chance unclenched his fist and stared at the little crescents of blood on his palm where his fingernails had dug in. “I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t believe it was an accident. I still don’t.” He looked up at Hope. “So, you see, she died because of me. It was my fault she was out on the lake that night in the first place, and maybe if I’d gone after them …” He stopped and shook his head. “It was my fault.” He covered his eyes with his hand. He didn’t want her to see him cry.
“I’m sorry, I know I said I wouldn’t judge or offer my opinion, but as far as I’m concerned, it was Kyle’s fault. He took her out in a boat, and whatever happened out there, accident or not, he didn’t bring her back.”
Chance looked up. The few people he’d ever told about it had told him it wasn’t his fault, one had said it was Chloe’s own fault—and earned himself a black eye. No one had ever said it was Kyle’s fault.
Hope shrugged apologetically. “Did anything happen to him? Was there any kind of investigation?”
Chance shook his head. “There wasn’t an investigation, but something happened to him. I happened to him. I lost it for a while after she died. I left town and went on the road, I wandered for a while. I was drinking and sleeping rough. Chloe’s dad was an alcoholic and losing her sent him over the edge. He turned to the bottle hard after her funeral and a couple of months later, he followed her. Drank himself to death. I went back, for the funeral.” He nodded. That had been so hard. He’d felt responsible for her dad’s death, too. “It was like I was a different person going back to a different place. I was so angry, at myself, at life, at everything. I ran into Kyle.” He pressed his lips together and looked up at Hope. “I beat the crap out of him. I thought I’d killed him, they had to drag me off him. He was in the hospital a long time and I was brought up on charges. I was still eighteen, so they put me in a young offenders’ place. I didn’t care about anything at that point. I just got myself into more and more trouble and turned what should have been a short stay into a long one.” He stopped and looked at Hope, wondering what she might be making of all this.
“Can I ask a question?”
He nodded, wondering if he’d be able to answer it.
“You said Renée made you promise not to go after them. Is that why you don’t make promises anymore?”
He nodded again.
She reached out and touched his arm, but didn’t say anything.
He sighed. “And believe it or not, that’s how I ended up in Montana and how the Remingtons became my family.”
She raised an eyebrow, not seeing the connection.
He smiled. “Dave Remington is the most amazing guy I have ever met. He’s a good, decent, honest hard-working man.” He smiled again. “A true Montanan. He used to do some work with youth rehabilitation programs. I met him through that, and for some reason he saw something in me. He took me under his wing and when I was finally released, he offered me a job on his ranch. I had nowhere else to go. I sure as hell didn’t want to go back to the lake, so I accepted. I thought I’d just be like a hired hand, but it turned out Dave has four sons, all around my age.” He stopped and had to swallow the lump in his throat as he thought about how much Dave had done for him—how he’d turned his life around. “Dave and his wife Monique took me in as if I was one of their own. The guys did, too.” He smiled. “Well, mostly. One brother wasn’t too happy about me coming into the family, but even he’s over it now. I’ve been in Montana over ten years. I think of it as home. I think of the Remingtons as my family. Of course, I’ve still got Missy and my dad, but Montana is where I feel I belong these days.” He finished and waited for her to say something.
“And you never got over her?”
He shook his head. “Nope. When she died, everything that was my life, and everything I thought my life was going to be, ended. I didn’t want a different life. I wanted the life that I lost. I wanted her.”
Hope nodded. “And what’s changed?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.” Even as he said it, he knew that wasn’t true. He shrugged. “Everything. I don’t know. These last couple of years, all the Remington brothers have met some pretty amazing women and got married. Missy met her perfect guy and got married, a lot of my old friends back at the lake have, too. Even Renée, she got married a little while back.” He smiled and had to swallow again. “I gave her away.”
Hope’s face told him she had a question, but was afraid to ask it.
“What?”
“You kept in touch with her?”
He nodded. “Well, I didn’t. We didn’t speak for years. I thought she blamed me. She moved back to the lake a couple of years ago and we made our peace. It turned out she thought I blamed her. She’s good people, and as far as family goes, I’m kind of all she has left.”
Hope nodded. “I’m glad you two have each other.”
“Yeah, me too.” Now he’d told her his story he didn’t know what else to say. He’d thought this was about him working through his feelings, but it turned out that what she might think was important to him.
They both started at the sound of a knock on the door. Chance jumped to his feet, feeling guilty, though why, he didn’t know. “Should I go see who it is?”
“Yes, please.”
“Hello. I’m glad to see you here!” Dr. Johnny grinned at him when he opened the door.
“It’s good to see you, too. Come on through.” Chance felt even more guilty as he led the older man through to the great room.
“It’s your uncle,” he told Hope, as if she couldn’t see for herself.
“Hi, Uncle Johnny.” Hope gave Chance an apologetic look over Johnny’s shoulder as she hugged him.
Chance smiled and nodded. He felt as though he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. He didn’t know what Johnny would make of him being here. “I’d better be going.”
“Don’t leave on my account,” Johnny said.
Hope’s eyes bored into him, begging him not to go. He smiled. “I need to get back, I have a few things to catch up on.” He grabbed his hat and nodded at them both.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Hope held his gaze.
He nodded again. “Yeah, see ya.”
Chapter Twelve
The next morning, Hope sat on the bed to dry herself off after her shower. It was still early, too early to call Chance. She’d wanted to call him last night after Uncle Johnny left, but it had been late. If she was honest, it wasn’t just because it was almost midnight, it was because she wanted to respect his space. Uncle Johnny’s timing couldn’t have been worse. Him showing up like that had chased Chance away, just at the point when he was opening up. She rubbed the towel through her hair and sighed. She hoped that Chance hadn’t clammed back up again. She knew it had taken him a lot to talk about his past. She picked up her cell phone, then put it down again. She shouldn’t call him yet; she’d leave it a while. Maybe he’d call her? Probably not.
Once she was dressed, she made her way out to the kitchen and poured herself a coffee. She was hoping that she’d get to spend the day with Chance again, but she had a niggling doubt that maybe he wouldn’t want to. After her conversation with Uncle Johnny last night, she wanted to enjoy as much time with Chance as she could. She’d had a crazy idea in the back of her mind that maybe, if their little vacation went well, they might find a way to see each other again afterward. Yes, she lived in LA and he lived in Montana, they both led busy lives and worked a lot, but she did have a place to stay in Montana. She had reason to go there. She’d been thinking that maybe … But Uncle Johnny had reminded her that it wasn’t really a possibility.
&n
bsp; He’d asked her what was going on between her and Chance, and of course, she’d told him there was nothing. He wasn’t that easily fooled though, and she’d admitted that she liked him and that the two of them were planning to spend time together while they were here. She loved her uncle; he was kind and he understood her, probably better than anyone else on earth. He’d told her that he liked Chance, too. He thought he was a great guy, an honorable man. But he wasn’t from the same world as them. That didn’t matter to Hope. She didn’t care, and she didn’t think Uncle Johnny did either. He didn’t. He’d just needed to remind her that that sort of thing mattered a whole lot to her father. He hadn’t minded Drew. He didn’t think much of him as a person, but apparently, to him, it was fitting that his daughter should be with a movie star. There was no way he would be so accepting of a cowboy—or a ranch hand, as Uncle Johnny had put it, making it sound like a bad thing somehow. She sighed. It shouldn’t matter. There was no point getting wound up about her dad’s snobbery. There was no point thinking about how she might win him over—how he’d probably like Chance if he met him. She may as well be wondering how many angels could fit on a pinhead. It was a moot question. She wasn’t going to get together with Chance. It just wouldn’t work—not to mention the fact that he wouldn’t even be interested! All they were going to do was spend the next ten days together. That was all.
Her phone rang and she picked it up. It was Toby.
“Hey, how are you?”
“I’m fine, thanks. How are you doing?”
“Great. I went out for a drive with Chance yesterday.”
“Good for you. I take it you haven’t been keeping on top of things at the office?”
“No. Is there a problem?”
Toby laughed. “No, there isn’t. Everything’s ticking along nicely, and I just wanted you to be aware of that. Normally you have to be involved in every little decision, and I just wanted you to know that everything’s running smoothly without you.”
“And your point is?”
“That maybe you should start taking more time for yourself. You don’t need to be involved in the day-to-day operations, if you don’t want to be.”
She sighed. “I know. You tell me that often enough. But what would I do otherwise, Toby? I’m hardly the type to sit around by the pool all day, or become one of the ladies who lunch and don’t do much else.”
“I don’t know, maybe you could have some fun? Travel a bit. Maybe spend some time in Montana?”
“Oh, Toby. You’re so sweet. Yes, I’m spending some time with Chance. Yes, I like him. Yes, I’m enjoying myself. But, once we leave here, it will all be over.”
“That’s a shame.”
She nodded, but didn’t answer. “Anyway, how’s your mom doing?”
“She’s doing wonderfully. She’s made more progress in the last few days than she has in the last few months. They’re working her hard, but she’s always been a hard worker and the results are amazing. I keep telling myself I’m imagining it, but I really think her face looks better. The droopy side doesn’t look so droopy and her speech is definitely clearer.”
“That’s awesome.”
“It is. Do you want me to come out there? I feel bad that I’ve gotten so involved with all of her different programs that I haven’t spent any time with you. I didn’t realize that they did so much to teach caregivers and companions how to keep things going once we get home.”
Hope smiled. “The whole point of us being here is for your mom. I’m fine. Don’t give me another thought. Make the most of it.”
“The point of being here was to get you out of way of the press and out of the headlines.”
“No. We came for your mom, she has to be your priority. I’m fine. And I’ve been keeping an eye on the news. I think the whole Drew and Carrie thing has passed. It seems to have been a busy week for scandals, so we’re old news now. I think the storm has blown over.”
“I hope so.” Toby didn’t sound convinced. “But if you’re going to be spending time with Chance, please promise me you’ll be careful. I’d hate for you to be seen out with him and stir up the whole media circus again. I can just imagine the headlines now: Hope Davenport Getting Over Her Breakup With Drew Lowry by Shacking Up With a Cowboy in Oregon.”
Hope laughed. “I’m not shacking up with him. We’re just hanging out. That’s all. But, yes, I will be careful.” She realized that she hadn’t been too careful at all yesterday. They’d waited in a line of cars, surrounded by tourists to drive through the Redwood trunk. She’d sat in the car outside while Chance had gone in the store to get them food. Anyone could have seen her and recognized her. Anyone could have snapped a photo of her. She shuddered. She’d have to remember to wear her hat and glasses when they went out again. If they went out again. She still didn’t know if he’d withdrawn from her completely after telling her his story last night.
“Okay. Well, I’d better get back to Mom. I’ll leave you to it, but you call me if you need anything, won’t you?”
“Yeah. I will. Say hi to your mom, give her a hug for me.”
“Thanks. I will.”
Once she’d hung up, Hope hobbled over to the sofa and sat down. She propped her foot up on the cushion and peered out the smaller window on the side of the house. She could see the roof of Chance’s cottage. Was he up and about yet? Should she call him? She wanted to, but she decided to wait a while longer. She’d finish her coffee and maybe turn the TV on and make sure that the news was full of new stories and had moved on from Drew and Carrie and her public humiliation.
~ ~ ~
Chance sat on the front porch, sipping his coffee and watching the morning mist roll in off the ocean. It wasn’t cold, but he had his jacket on to keep out the chilly damp. That was one thing he couldn’t get used to here. The air was so humid, it always felt damp; every breath he took felt like he was getting a drink as well as fresh air. It was so different from what he was used to. The air in Montana was so different. The ranch sat at five thousand feet—and that was in the valley, the elevation rose to eight thousand in the foothills and up to eleven thousand in the mountains. That made for much thinner air, but even apart from that, it was much drier, too. When he’d first gone to live in Montana, he’d been surprised to see wild cactus growing everywhere. He’d only thought of them growing in the heat in the south. Mason had laughed at him when he’d expressed his surprise and told him that the area was considered high desert. Right now, Chance wished he was back there, back in the dry silky air instead of here trying to breathe in the dampness.
He shot a look up at the big house and shook his head. He’d hightailed it out of Hope’s place as fast as he could last night once Dr. Johnny had shown up. He’d felt bad about it at the time. Hope’s eyes had pleaded with him to stay, but there was no way he could have. It wasn’t just about feeling awkward that her uncle had shown up and found them having dinner together. No, it was more about the fact that, having told Hope about how Chloe died, having told her his life story in a nutshell, there was no way he could have stayed the night with her. He couldn’t. Of course, he slept with women, but he’d never slept with one who knew him. And after telling her his story last night, he felt as though Hope knew him just about as well as anyone ever had. During the course of the day yesterday, and especially over the course of dinner last night, they’d developed a bond, a closeness, a friendship. And to Chance that made it seem impossible that they could have a relationship, even a short one and especially a physical one. He could screw a woman, that was fine, that didn’t detract anything from what he still felt for Chloe, but to sleep with a woman that he cared about? He shook his head and took another gulp of his coffee. That felt wrong, that came too close to treading on sacred ground—ground that he’d only ever shared with Chloe.
He heard his phone ringing inside. He’d left it on the kitchen table. He listened to it, wondering who it might be. Was it Hope? And did he want to answer it if it was? He pressed his lips together. Did it mak
e him an asshole if he didn’t answer? Probably. Maybe it wasn’t her. He got up and went inside to check. It had stopped ringing by the time he got there. He was relieved when he saw that it hadn’t been Hope. It was Mason. He smiled. He should call him back and check in, make sure everything was okay at the ranch. He poured a fresh cup of coffee and took it outside.
“Morning,” Mason answered. “I forgot it’s an hour earlier for you than it is here. I hope I didn’t wake you?”
Chance laughed. “No. I’ve been up for ages. Just because I’m not working doesn’t mean I’m turning into a lazy bum.”
Mason laughed with him. “I don’t think you’d be capable of that if you tried. I just thought you might be sleeping in. I thought you might have had a late night or something.”
Chance smiled to himself. He had no doubt that Cassidy would have told them all that he was with a woman when she’d called him yesterday. “I take it Cassidy’s been shooting her mouth off?”
“Aww, she was excited for you. To her credit, she didn’t go blabbing to everyone; she came down here to see me and ask if I knew anything. She asked if I thought you were okay.”
“And what did you say?”
“I told her I never know anything when it comes to you. Your business is your business and I know better than to ask about it. You tell me what you want me to know and that’s it.”
“Thanks.”
He could hear the smile in Mason’s voice as he asked, “Is there anything you want me to know?”