by J. R. Ward
Squeezing his notebook, John took a deep breath and followed the woman, feeling as if he were going to the gallows.
Z stopped in front of his bedroom door. He was just going to check on Bella and then he was going to make a beeline for Phury’s room and get himself good and stoned. He hated any kind of drugged-out feeling, but anything was better than this raging urge to have sex.
He cracked the door and sagged against the jamb. The fragrance in the room was like a garden in full bloom, the loveliest thing that had ever shot up the inside of his nose.
The front of his pants pounded, the it screaming to get out.
“Bella?” he said into the darkness.
When he heard a moan, he went inside, closing the door behind him.
Oh, God. The perfume of her… He started to growl deep in the back of his throat, and his fingers cranked into claws. His feet took over, marching him to the bed, his instincts leaving his mind behind.
Bella was writhing on top of the mattress, tangled in the sheets. When she saw him she cried out, but then she settled down, as if she’d willed herself calm.
“I’m okay.” She rolled over onto her stomach, her thighs rubbing together as she pulled the duvet over her body. “I’m…really…It’s going to be—”
Another shock wave came out of her, so strong it pushed him back as she jackknifed into a ball.
“Go,” she groaned. “Worse…when you’re here. Oh…God…”
As she let out a ragged curse, Z stumbled back to the door even though his body roared for him to stay.
Getting himself out into the corridor was like hauling a mastiff off a target, and once he shut the door he raced for Phury’s.
From all the way down the hall of statues he could smell what his twin and V were lighting up. And when he burst inside the bedroom, the blanket of smoke was already thick as fog.
Vishous and Phury were on the bed, thick blunts between their fingers, mouths tight, bodies straining.
“What the hell are you doing here?” V demanded.
“Give me some,” he said, nodding at the mahogany box between them.
“Why have you left her?” V sucked in hard, the hand-rolled’s orange tip glowing bright. “The needing hasn’t passed.”
“She said it was worse when I was there.” Z leaned over his twin and grabbed a blunt. He had trouble lighting the thing because his hands were shaking so badly.
“How’s that possible?”
“Do I look like I have any experience with this shit?”
“But it’s supposed to get better if a male’s with her.” V scrubbed his face, then looked over in disbelief. “Wait a minute—you didn’t lay with her, did you? Z…? Z, answer the fucking question.”
“No, I didn’t,” he snapped, aware that Phury was very, very quiet.
“How could you leave that poor female unserved in her condition?”
“She said she was okay.”
“Yeah, well, it’s just getting started. She’s not going to be okay. The only way to relieve the pain is if a male finishes inside of her, you feel me? You can’t leave her like that. It’s cruel.”
Z paced over to one of the windows. The shutters were still down for the day, and he thought of the sun, that great, bright jailer. God, he wished he could get out of the house. He felt like a trap was closing in on him, and the urge to run was almost as bad as the lust he was crippled with.
He thought of Phury, who was keeping his eyes down and not saying a word.
Now’s your chance, Z thought. Just send your twin down the hall to her. Send him in to service her in her need.
Go on. Tell him to leave this room and go to yours and take off his clothes and cover her with his body.
Oh…God…
Vishous’s voice cut through his self-torture, the tone gratingly reasonable. “Zsadist, it’s wrong and you know it, true? You can’t do this to her, she’s—”
“How ’bout you back the fuck off, my brother.”
There was a short silence. “Okay, I’ll take care of her.”
Z’s head whipped around just as Vishous stabbed out his hand-rolled and got to his feet. As he hiked up his leathers, his arousal was obvious.
Zsadist launched himself across the room so fast, he didn’t even feel his feet. He tackled Vishous down to the floor and clamped his hands around his brother’s thick throat. As his fangs shot out of his upper jaw like knives, he bared them with a hiss.
“You go near her and I’ll kill you.”
There was a mad scramble behind him, no doubt Phury rushing to separate them, but V put the kibosh on any rescue attempt.
“Phury! No!” V dragged some air in. “Between me…and him.”
Vishous’s diamond eyes were sharp as he looked up, and though he was struggling for breath, his voice was as forceful as always.
“Relax, Zsadist…you dumb fuck….” Deep breath. “I’m going nowhere…. Just needed to get your attention. Now loosen…your grip.”
Z eased his hold, but didn’t get off the brother.
Vishous inhaled with a big suck. A couple of times. “You feel your flow right now, Z? You feel that territorial urge? You’ve bonded with her.”
Z wanted to deny it, but that was tough to do, considering the linebacker routine he’d just pulled. And the fact that he still had his hands around the male’s throat.
V’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Your path out of hell is waiting for you. She’s down that hall, man. Don’t be a fool. Go to her. It’ll take care of both of you.”
Z swung his leg up and dismounted, letting himself roll onto the floor. To avoid thinking about paths out and females and sex, he wondered idly what had happened to the blunt he’d been smoking. Glancing over at the window, he found he’d had the decency to balance it on the sill before he’d launched at Vishous like a rocket.
Well, wasn’t he a gentleman.
“She can heal you,” V said.
“I’m not looking to be healed. Besides, I don’t want to get her pregnant, you feel me? What a fucking mess that would be.”
“Is it her first time?”
“I don’t know.”
“If it is, the chances are practically zero.”
“‘Practically’ isn’t good enough. What else can ease her?”
Phury spoke up from the bed. “You’ve still got the morphine, right? You know, that syringe I prepared from what Havers left? So use it. I’ve heard that’s what unmated females do.”
V sat up, balancing his thick arms on his knees. As he pushed his hair back, the sprawling tattoo at his right temple flashed. “It won’t completely take care of the problem, but sure as shit it’s better than nothing.”
Another shock wave of heat rippled through the air. The three of them groaned and were momentarily incapacitated, their bodies whacking out, straining, wanting to go where they were needed, where they could be used to ease a female’s pain.
As soon as Z was able to, he got to his feet. As he left, Vishous was climbing back onto Phury’s bed and lighting up again.
When Z was back at the other end of the house, he braced himself before he reentered his room. Opening the door he didn’t dare look in her direction as he forced his body over to the bureau.
He found the syringes and picked up the one Phury had filled. Taking a deep breath, he turned around, only to discover that the bed was empty.
“Bella?” He walked over. “Bella, where…”
He found her crumpled on the floor, a pillow between her legs, her body trembling.
She started to sob as he knelt beside her. “It hurts….”
“Oh, God…I know, nalla.” He brushed her hair out of her eyes. “I’ll take care of you.”
“Please…it hurts so badly.” She rolled over, her breasts tight and bright red at the tips…. Beautiful. Irresistible. “It hurts. It hurts so badly. Zsadist, it won’t stop. It’s getting worse. It h—”
In a massive surge, she undulated wildly, a blast of energy coming
out of her body. The strength of the hormones she emitted blinded him, and he got so caught up in his body’s beastly response that he didn’t feel anything…even as she grabbed his forearm with enough force to bend his bones.
When the peak faded, he wondered if she’d broken his wrist. It wasn’t that he cared about the pain; he would take any of that she needed to give him. But if she was hanging onto him that desperately, he could just imagine what she was going through in her insides.
With a wince, he realized she’d bit her lower lip hard enough to make it bleed. He wiped the blood off her mouth with his thumb. Then had to rub the stuff on his pant leg so he didn’t lap it up and want more.
“Nalla…” He looked at the syringe in his hand.
Do it, he said to himself. Drug her. Take the hurt away.
“Bella, I need to know something.”
“What?” she moaned.
“Is this your first time?”
She nodded her head. “I didn’t know it would be this bad—Oh, God…”
Her body spasmed again, her legs crushing the pillow.
He glanced back at the syringe. Better than nothing was not good enough for her, but his releasing into her seemed like a sacrilege. Goddamn it, his ejaculations were the worse of the two piss-poor options she had, but biologically speaking, he could do more for her than the morphine.
Z reached up and put the needle on the bedside table. Then he stood and kicked off his boots while he peeled his shirt over his head. He unzipped his fly, springing that hideous, aching length, and stepped out of his leathers.
He needed pain to orgasm, but he wasn’t worried about that. Hell, he could hurt himself enough to trigger a release. That was why he had fangs, right?
Bella was writhing in misery as he picked her up and laid her out on the bed. She was so magnificent against the pillows, her cheeks flushed, her lips parted, her skin glowing from the needing. But she was in such pain.
“Shhh…easy,” he whispered as he got on top of the bed. On top of her.
As their naked skin brushed, she moaned and bit into her lip again. This time he bent down and licked the fresh blood off her mouth. The taste of it, the electric tingle on his tongue, thrilled him. Scared him. Reminded him that he’d been living off weak sustenance for over a century.
With a curse he shoved all his stupid fucking baggage out of the way and focused on Bella. Her legs were sawing underneath him, and he had to force them wide with his hands, then pin them with his thighs. When he touched her core with his hand, he was shocked. She was on fire, drenched, swollen. She cried out, and the orgasm that followed relieved her struggles a little, her arms and legs going still, her breathing getting less harsh.
Maybe this was going to be easier than he thought. Maybe Vishous was wrong about her needing a male inside. In which case, he could just go down on her over and over again. Man, he would love to do that for a day. The first time he had put his mouth to her hadn’t lasted nearly long enough.
He eyed his clothes. Probably should have kept them on—
The force of energy that came out of her then was so great, he was actually pushed upright from her body, as if invisible hands had punched at his torso. She screamed in misery as he hovered in midair above her. When the surge passed he fell back on top of her. The orgasm had obviously made the situation worse, and now she was weeping so hard tears no longer fell from her eyes. All she had was a case of the dry heaves as she twisted and contorted beneath him.
“Lie still, nalla,” he said frantically. “Let me put it in you.”
But she was too far gone to hear him. He had to muscle her to keep her in place, pushing down on her collarbone with a forearm while he forced one of her legs up and to the side. He tried to position the it for penetration by moving his hips, but couldn’t manage to get the angle right. Even trapped under his superior strength and weight, she still managed to flail around.
With a nasty curse Z reached between his legs and grabbed the thing he needed to use on her. He guided the bastard to her threshold and then thrust hard, joining them deep. They both yelled.
And then he dropped his head and held on for dear life, getting lost in the sensation of her tight, slick sex. His body took over, his hips moving like pistons, the punishing, grinding rhythm creating a mighty pressure in his balls and a burning in his lower belly.
Oh, God… A release was coming for him. Just as it had in the bathroom when she’d held on as he pumped. Only hotter. Wilder. Out of control.
“Oh, Jesus!” he hollered.
Their bodies were slapping together and he was mostly blind and he was sweating all over her and the bonding scent was a screaming roar in his nose…. And then she called his name and seized up under him. Her core grabbed onto him in spasms that milked him until—Oh, shit, God, no—
On reflex he tried to pull out, but the orgasm tackled him from behind, shooting up his spine and nailing him in the back of the head just as he felt the release bullet out of his body into hers. And the damn thing didn’t stop. He came in great waves, pouring into her, filling her up. There was nothing he could do to stop the eruptions even though he knew what he was spilling into her.
When the last shudder left him, he lifted his head. Bella’s eyes were closed, her breathing even, the deep grooves in her face gone.
Her hands ran up his ribs and onto his shoulders, and she turned her face into his bicep with a sigh. The quiet in the room, in her body, was jarring. So was the fact that he’d ejaculated only because she’d made him feel…good.
Good? No, that didn’t go far enough. She’d made him feel…alive. Awakened.
Z touched her hair, spreading the dark waves across a creamy pillow. There had been no pain for him, for his body. Just pleasure. A miracle…
Except then he became aware of the wetness where they were joined.
The implications of what he’d done in her made him twitchy, and he couldn’t fight the compulsion to clean her up. He pulled out and quickly headed for the bathroom, where he grabbed a washcloth. When he returned to the bed, though, she’d started to undulate again, the need in her rising. He looked down at himself and watched the thing that hung from his groin grow hard and long in response.
“Zsadist…” she moaned. “It’s…back.”
He put the washcloth aside and mounted her again, but before he pushed into her he looked at her glassy eyes and had an attack of conscience. How whacked was it that he was greedy for more when the consequences were so ugly for her? Good God, he’d ejaculated into her, and the shit was all over her beautiful parts and the smooth skin of her thighs and—
“I can drug you,” he said. “I can make you feel no pain and you won’t have me inside you. I can help you without hurting you.”
He stared down at her, waiting for her answer, caught between her biology and his reality.
Chapter Thirty-one
Butch was a wired-out mess as he peeled off his coat and took a seat in the doctor’s waiting room.
Good thing night had just fallen and any vampire clientele had yet to show up. Some alone time was what he needed. At least until he pulled himself together.
Thing was, this happy little clinic was located in the basement of Havers’s mansion. Which meant Butch was now, at this very moment, in the same house as the guy’s sister. Yup…Marissa, the female vampire he wanted like no one else on the planet, was under the same roof he was.
Man, this obsession with her was a new and different nightmare. He’d never had a case of the sweats like this for a woman before, and he couldn’t say he recommended it. Nothing but a pain in the ass. And the chest.
Back in September, when he’d come to see her and she’d shut him down without even doing a face-to-face, he’d sworn he’d never bother her again. And he hadn’t. Technically. Those drive-bys he’d done since, those pathetic, sissy drive-bys where the Escalade somehow found itself going by this very house, those weren’t really bothering her. Because she didn’t know about them.
He checked his watch. A whopping thirteen minutes had passed. He figured this session with the shrink was an hour, so his Patek Philippe’s long hand had to take forty-seven more trips around before he could stuff the kid back in the car and bust on out of here.
“Would you like some coffee?” a female voice said.
He looked up. A nurse dressed in a white uniform was standing in front of him. She looked young, especially as she fiddled with one of her sleeves. She also seemed desperate to do something.
“Yeah, sure. Coffee’d be good.”
She smiled broadly, her fangs showing. “How do you like it?”
“Black. Black’s fine. Thanks.”
The whisper of her soft-soled shoes faded while she went down the corridor.
Butch unbuttoned his double-breasted jacket and leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. The Valentino suit he’d put on before coming was one of his favorites. So was the Hermès tie around his neck. And the Gucci loafers on his feet.
If he got busted by Marissa, he’d figured he might as well look as good as he ever did.
“Do you want me to drug you?”
Bella focused on Zsadist’s face as he loomed above her. His black eyes were mere slits, and he had that beautiful flush of arousal on his stark cheekbones. He was heavy on top of her, and as the needing rose again she thought of him releasing inside of her. She’d felt a wondrous, cooling ease as soon as he’d started to come, the first relief she’d had since the symptoms of the needing had started a couple of hours ago.
But the drive was back now.
“Would you like me to put you out, Bella?”
Maybe it would be better if he drugged her. This was going to be a long night, and from what she understood, it would only get harder and more intense as the hours churned. Was it really fair of her to ask that he stay?