by J. L. Berg
“You’re breathtaking,” he said as his eyes drank in every detail.
“So are you.”
He stepped forward, closing the distance between us, and he cupped my cheek tenderly. Bending down, his lips brushed mine ever so briefly. “I couldn’t let another second go by before I did that.” He smiled against my cheek.
“Are you ever going to tell me what we’re doing?”
His hands curved around my waist, and I felt his smile grow wider. He pulled back, and I saw the excitement and anticipation in his eyes.
“Not yet. First, we are going to eat dinner.”
“Like this?” I asked, looking down at our formal attire.
“Don’t worry. No trays for you tonight.” He ran back to the door, opening it briefly to reach for something on the other side. He came back with a picnic basket. “We’re having a picnic,” he declared.
“Number eighty-two.” I remembered a night not too long ago when I’d told him a few new dreams and wishes from my list, which included having a picnic.
“I’m trying to knock a couple off that list tonight.”
He’d thought of everything, and he’d brought enough food to feed the entire floor. We sat on my bed, enjoying fruit, gourmet sandwiches, and even pudding.
“This is much better than snack packs,” I commented, dipping my spoon into the container we were sharing.
“You don’t like my snack packs?” he joked, looking wounded.
“No, I love your snack packs. This is just different. It’s like what a snack pack could be, if it wanted to be.”
He stared at me blankly. “Why do I think that had nothing to do with desserts?”
“I’m sorry. I just can’t stop thinking about you and the stuff going on with your family. Are you really not going to do anything?”
“No,” he said firmly.
“Do you miss it?”
“What?”
“That part of your life and using that part of yourself—the analytic, brainy side that can’t possibly be happy with checking bedpans and taking vitals all day.”
“Sometimes, I guess,” he answered honestly. “I was good at it, but money always came first. I can’t go back to that.”
“Don’t you think they’d listen to you? Especially now?” I asked.
He stared off into the distance and finally shook his head. “I have no desire to go back,” he said, looking back at me. “I have everything I need right here.”
“No peeking!” Jude laughed as he pulled me out of the wheelchair the hospital had insisted I use.
The mint green fabric of my dress had been tucked neatly underneath me as the wheels creaked along the worn linoleum. We’d gone down several floors in the elevator and passed through many different hallways—all the while, with Jude’s large hands firmly planted over my eyes.
“I don’t think I could if I tried!”
“Good. Now, just a little bit further. We’re almost there. Okay, I’m going to take my hands away. Don’t open your eyes yet.”
I heard a door swing open, and the booming sound of music immediately poured out.
“Okay, stand up, and take my hand, but keep your eyes closed.” His firm grip closed around mine as he guided me, and then his arms reached around my waist from behind. “Now, open your eyes,” he whispered in my ear.
My eyelids fluttered open, and I immediately noticed we were in a low-lit room. Multicolored balloons and streamers lined the ceiling. A large group of people were dancing in the center of the room, and tables were off to the side with drinks and food.
“What is this?” I asked.
“It’s your prom,” he said, pointing to a banner near the ceiling.
The Someday Prom, the banner boasted in large loopy script.
Emotions so deep that I couldn’t describe them poured through me. I turned around and flung myself into his arms as tears made their way down my cheeks. “Thank you.”
I didn’t care if it all ended that very moment. We could never even make it to the dance floor, and I didn’t think I would ever feel happier.
In all my days of sitting in that hospital bed—wondering why me, why had I been selected to have this burden, to be given this life—I never expected such amazing things were going to happen to me.
“How did you manage to do this? I don’t know what to say,” I said, looking around. I started to recognize several nurses and staff from the cardiology unit.
“Don’t cry,” he said, giving a small smile, as he gently wiped away the tears. “Dance with me?”
I nodded, and he pulled me to the small group of people in the center. I recognized Grace with a guy who must have been her fiancé. She gave me a wink as she placed her head on his broad shoulder.
I went into Jude’s embrace and let him lead us as a new song began. John Legend’s “All of Me” played as we swayed back and forth, and I listened to Jude hum the melody in my ear.
“Have I mentioned that you look beautiful today?” he said softly.
“Jude,” I said, turning away, as I felt the blush beginning to burn.
He didn’t need to do this.
“No, look at me,” he demanded, turning my chin up until my eyes met his sizzling gaze. “You are stunning. I don’t say this because I pity you or want you to feel normal. I say this because it’s the truth. If I saw you anywhere else, I would think the exact same thing.”
He kissed me, and I melted into his embrace.
“You make me feel beautiful,” I murmured against his lips.
“That’s because you are.”
I rested my head on his shoulder as he continued humming. We were lost in each other and the moment.
“I hope you won’t mind if an old man tries to cut in?” I heard from behind, a male voice bringing me back to reality.
I looked up to see a finger tapping Jude’s shoulder and a face I didn’t recognize, but Jude apparently did.
“Nash,” he said with a grin. Jude greeted the man with a handshake that turned into a big hug that included the big man picking Jude up off the ground.
“I missed you and our quiet talks, Jude,” the man said after setting Jude back on the ground.
“You, too, Nash. The cardiology unit hasn’t been the same without you.” He laughed. Looking over at me, he grabbed my waist again. “Nash, I don’t think you ever got the chance to formally meet this one before you were discharged. This is my Lailah,” he said, giving me a squeeze.
My Lailah.
I had a ridiculous amount of butterflies in my stomach over the addition of that one word to my name.
I shook hands with the infamous author, and he took Jude’s place on the dance floor. I saw him walk over to the drink table to talk to Dr. Marcus, who was sipping punch. He was nicely dressed in a suit and tie.
“You’ve changed him,” Nash said with a grin. “He’s not broken anymore.”
“He did that on his own,” I said as we moved back and forth to a song I didn’t recognize.
“Maybe so, but you gave him a reason.”
He didn’t press for any more conversation after that, but he did insist on teaching me how to really dance. I had visions of rose stems in my mouth with my leg up in the air, but he kept it tame and just turned me in a slow circle before doing a little dip. I couldn’t help but laugh. The old man was a charmer. When the song ended, he thanked me for the dance and said he had a little surprise for me. Disappearing out the door, he reappeared seconds later with a small cherub by his side.
Abigail.
“Lailah!” she shouted, running up to me with outstretched arms.
I bent down as she came into my embrace.
“I missed you!” she exclaimed.
“I missed you, too.”
“I’ve been writing almost every day. I wrote so much that Papa had to buy me another diary, and this time, he let me get one that’s pink,” she said with a grin.
“Good.” I laughed. “Make sure you get one with sparkles and rhinestones
on it next time.”
She giggled, and I pulled her over to the snack table for a healthy dose of sugar. We joined Jude around the table of goodies and stacked our plates high with brownies and sugar cookies. Jude led me over to a table where he made me sit down and rest.
“I don’t want you to overdo it,” he said, pulling my legs into his lap.
He pulled my shoes off and began rubbing my feet as I dived into a chocolate brownie.
“Thank you.”
I’d polished off an additional cookie or two in record time when Dr. Marcus joined us at our table.
“Nice party,” he said. “Didn’t think you could actually pull this all off, J-Man.”
Jude smirked. “I can be very persuasive.”
“I see that, and it turned out great. It’s a perfect way to say good-bye to Lailah.” He gave a knowing grin.
My eyes widened, wondering what Dr. Marcus was talking about.
Jude and I looked at each other in confusion before our eyes settled back on Dr. Marcus.
“Lailah is being discharged tomorrow.”
“Oh my God, are you serious?” I said in one quick relieved breath.
He nodded. “I should have sent you home a week ago, but I was being overly protective. That sickness you came down with scared me, and I just hated the idea of not having you here, but there is no reason for you to stay. We are here if something happens, and if not, we’ll just wait for more news regarding the transplant.”
I looked back at Jude, and his eyes were full of excitement and anticipation. I jumped into his arms, laughing and crying, as Marcus made his exit.
“I’m going home.”
“No, you’re coming home with me,” Jude said.
“What?” I laughed, pulling back to see the seriousness on his face.
“What are we waiting for, Lailah? Call it a visit or an extended stay. I don’t care. All I know is that I want you with me.”
My hands came to his face, and I kissed him. “Yes. I’ll go anywhere with you.”
“Good. Now, let’s go find your mom. I want to get the beatdown over with, so we can start packing. I know she’s not going to take this well.”
“That’s the understatement of the year.”
I looked around, but I didn’t see her. I’d seen her standing in the corner, talking with Grace and her fiancé earlier, but she was gone now.
“Maybe she took a breather,” I suggested. “The hallway might be a good place to tell her anyway.” I grinned.
“Yeah, that way no one can hear me scream,” he joked.
I giggled as we walked out into the hallway and found it deserted. Marching to the end, I turned and heard movement, and I instinctively followed the noise. In a dark corner, two silhouettes shared a passionate embrace. I moved closer, and a gasp escaped my mouth as recognition washed over me.
“Lailah,” my mother cried, instantly pulling away from Dr. Marcus as if he were on fire. “I’m sorry. This was a mistake.”
She took a step forward, but I held out my hand in an attempt to halt her. I couldn’t help the slight laugh that escaped me from finding my mother in a compromising position, considering all the illicit behavior Jude and I had engaged in over the last week or so.
“Please, Mom, don’t be sorry. If you want to date my doctor, you shouldn’t feel like you have to sneak around hospital hallways and hide it from me. Allow yourself to be happy, Mom,” I said with a warm smile. I was suddenly very proud of my maturity.
She and Dr. Marcus gave each other a brief glance filled with emotions I couldn’t quite decipher. They both looked hurt and angry and deeply filled with regret, and I could only wonder why. I turned around and took the hand of a very silent Jude, who had his gaze fixed on Dr. Marcus.
“Molly, I can’t keep doing this—the back and forth between us and the lying. We need to tell her,” Dr. Marcus said with an edge to his voice.
“Please, Marcus, don’t,” a tiny voice pleaded.
“I’m your uncle, Lailah,” he whispered.
I spun around and saw hurt and regret in the eyes of the man who had taken care of me since the day I was born.
“Your father was my brother. We should have told her a long time ago, Molly.”
I turned to my mother, waiting for her to dispute it or to offer some other alternative for why they both felt the need to lie to me throughout my entire life. But she didn’t say a word. She just looked at me like she’d been mortally wounded.
“Why?” I asked them both. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“I wanted to, but it wasn’t my secret to tell. But I’m tired of being just a doctor to you Lailah,” Marcus said. “And your mother has her reasons. Don’t be angry with her. She went through hell and back with my sorry excuse of a brother. The fact that she even allowed me to be a part of your life was more than I could have ever asked.”
I shook my head, trying to expel the words and images out of my head.
It didn’t work.
“No, I can’t handle this right now. I’m being discharged tomorrow. In the morning, I’m going to pack, and I will be leaving—with Jude. Please give him all my discharge paperwork. Mom, I’ll come home when I’m ready to talk.”
Her echoed cries were the last thing I heard as I left that hallway.
Sometimes, being a grown-up sucked.
SLEEP COMPLETELY ELUDED me as I waited for the minutes to pass by until morning came.
I should have told her.
I should have said something the second after it had happened. But I hadn’t. I’d walked away from Marcus and her crying mother, holding Lailah’s hand as she’d softly sobbed. Then, I’d comforted her as we made our way back to the cardiology floor. I’d helped her take down her hair and wash away what was left of her makeup. She’d changed out of her dress, and I’d held her as she fell asleep.
I never said a word.
I’d known Marcus was her uncle. I had known, and I hadn’t told her. I’d kept his secret because, like Marcus, it wasn’t mine to tell. Too many cards had been stacked up in this crazy lie, and I hadn’t wanted to be the one to bring it to a tumbling crash.
But now, I was stuck in it, and I had to find a way to tell Lailah.
The first rays of sunlight began to stream through my window, and I sat up. I looked around the sparse room, wondering if I would have her here with me tonight or if I’d be alone again.
Only one way to find out.
I jumped out of bed and headed for the shower.
Twenty minutes later, I was throwing a T-shirt on and grabbing an apple as I headed out the door.
It was early, but I knew Lailah would be up with the sun, packing and getting ready to leave. I wanted to be there, helping her. It didn’t take long to drive to the hospital and park. A short elevator ride later, and I was at her door. It was open today, and I saw her before she noticed me. Her long blonde hair was loose and falling forward, still wavy from the braids her mother had done. As she folded a shirt and placed it in a pile, I felt like I’d been slapped with déjà vu. On the eve of her last discharge, I’d walked in and watched her do the exact same thing. Finding out she was leaving that day had left me feeling frightened and happy all at the same time. I’d been frightened because she was leaving me and happy because she was finally getting to go home.
Today, I felt all of that and more.
Please don’t change your mind. Please come home with me, I silently begged as I stepped forward, announcing my arrival.
She turned and smiled. “You’re here early.”
“I figured you would be up, so I thought you might want some help packing.”
“I do, thanks. Can you get that bag over there?” she asked, pointing to a duffel bag next to the bed.
I grabbed it and placed it on the bed beside her.
“I have to tell you something,” I said, my hesitance weighing down every word.
She turned to me with nervousness lining her features. “What?”
“I knew Marcus was your uncle,” I admitted.
“How?” She sat on the edge of the bed with the shirt she was folding still balled together in her hands.
“I guessed from the way he’d protect you, how he talked about you and your mother. He loves the both of you much more than a doctor loves his patients.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, looking up.
“Honestly, would you really want that information to come from me? It wasn’t my place to say. I hated knowing it to begin with, but I do know that Marcus and your mother didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I sat down next to her and took her hand.
“Then, why keep it a secret? I don’t understand.”
“Marcus said your mother wanted your father erased from her existence. I guess having an uncle around you would only make life more complicated. It was easier if Marcus was just—”
“Dr. Marcus,” she finished.
“You need to talk to her,” I encouraged.
“I will…soon. I just need some space.”
“Well, I can definitely help with that. Come on, let’s get you packed.”
I pulled her off the bed, and she gripped my shoulders as she rested her head on my chest.
“I was so scared you were going to leave this hospital without me,” I confessed.
She looked up at me, confused. “Why? Because of that? You were put in an incredibly tough spot, Jude. I don’t fault you for that. But it’s over now. No more secrets. So, let’s get going already!”
Her beaming smile destroyed me.
No more secrets.
My raspy and pleading voice, the sound of my cries as I’d begged them not to do it, not to take her away from me—it all swiftly came back, making my head spin.
I was the biggest secret of them all.
“Here are your discharge papers,” Dr. Marcus said, holding his hand out to a wary-looking Lailah.
She’d been still and eerily quiet since the moment he’d walked in with instructions on her home care.